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  1. #61
    Quote Originally Posted by TEHPALLYTANK View Post
    Asperger's is not an excuse for having poor emotional control, it also is not a reason behind being irrational (Quite the opposite in fact).
    You are very wrong about aspergers not leading to irrational behavior. It is a spectrum disorder so it will always be different for each individual however the majority of people who have been diagnosed with aspergers suffer immensely from stress management ( and it is why cognitive behavioral therapy at a young age makes a huge difference ). Most also fail to properly communicate what is causing that stress or even have a realization of how much it has built up. This often leads to emotional outbursts or other behavior that the general public views as irrational. Just because the brain thinks logically does not mean stress overload is not going to cause it to behave irrationally.


    http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot....t-of-view.html

  2. #62
    Legendary! The Glitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyonis View Post
    1. We gamer girls are like a bunch of high school chicks. We talk around your back. We'll say in your face that we like you. And when you can't hear it, we'll chat about how terrible you actually are. Now you got a lesson in girls


    My advice to you: decide who your friends are, move to a new realm (together with your friends or not), find a guild with less girls in (we're really nasty when we're with a lot, really). Or perhaps take a break from WoW. There's tons of other stuff to do out there. Do you have any good real life friends? If not, get a (new) job, find a hobby, do something were you meet people! That's good for you
    Please do not group us all up in the same basket.
    I certainly hate the term *girl gamer* I am a gamer fullstop just like anyone else that games be they female or male. This tag disturbs me quite a bit and doesn't seem to help females in the gaming community at all.

    As to the rest of your post, to me sounds like childish games, which I can assure you men are just as capable of too, most women that play just want to play the game, they don't want drama and hassle. We aren't loggin in to bitch about folks behind their backs or cause hassle.

    Not to mention alot of guys cause the drama between themselves and females in the first place, yet it's the women that are always seen as the *bad* guy in the situation.

    I can also assure you that I as do many others have many female friends and male friends in game. Hell my guilds 50/50 female/male and has been for over 6 years, but I guess seeing as we're all pretty much mature and decent human beings we haven't had the issues that most people tend to think are caused by females.


    Women and men can be just as emotional/nasty/sneaky as each other. Please stop using the *oh its a girl* excuse, we just want to play the game like any man out there, stop judging us by our sex.

    As to the OP: Move on, honestly if she doesn't want to talk to you then leave it, she will either come around of her own accord, or won't. I know it sucks to lose friends, or have arguments, but sometimes you just have to walk away from it all, to save your own sanity. Go find a realm/guild that you can have fun on doing things you enjoy, meeting and making new friends. Goodluck

  3. #63
    OP, it seems to me like you're the one stirring up crap. You state that your friend has asked you repeatedly to drop the issue, removed you from realID when you wouldn't and threatened to put you on ignore next if you don't drop the issue. If you value her friendship, you might want to consider dropping the issue.

    You've mentioned more than one way your current raid leader is doing things wrong (in your opinion). He didn't take you back for retro raids, he wanted you guys to get gear, he's not kicking the bads. If your raid leader is so bad, why don't you step up and offer to lead? If not, then you need to either stfu, or leave the guild. Don't badmouth your raid leader. If you have an objection speak to him about it personally (whispers). Badmouthing him just creates stress and conflict in the guild.

    You whispered the other GM about the guild buster . Which created enough drama that you were getting personal messages from other people. This is a problem. This is you creating drama. Drama that is now associated with your guild. While I'm sure your GM was considering transferring off of the dead server, and probably had been since the start of MoP. Your actions did contribute. It was quite possibly the straw that broke the camels back.

    Finally: Do you have to always be right? Everything you posted was about how everyone else is wrong and you're always right. Try letting stuff go.

  4. #64
    The Patient Cyonis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dancing Turkey View Post
    Please do not group us all up in the same basket.
    I certainly hate the term *girl gamer* I am a gamer fullstop just like anyone else that games be they female or male. This tag disturbs me quite a bit and doesn't seem to help females in the gaming community at all.

    As to the rest of your post, to me sounds like childish games, which I can assure you men are just as capable of too, most women that play just want to play the game, they don't want drama and hassle. We aren't loggin in to bitch about folks behind their backs or cause hassle.

    Not to mention alot of guys cause the drama between themselves and females in the first place, yet it's the women that are always seen as the *bad* guy in the situation.

    I can also assure you that I as do many others have many female friends and male friends in game. Hell my guilds 50/50 female/male and has been for over 6 years, but I guess seeing as we're all pretty much mature and decent human beings we haven't had the issues that most people tend to think are caused by females.


    Women and men can be just as emotional/nasty/sneaky as each other. Please stop using the *oh its a girl* excuse, we just want to play the game like any man out there, stop judging us by our sex.

    As to the OP: Move on, honestly if she doesn't want to talk to you then leave it, she will either come around of her own accord, or won't. I know it sucks to lose friends, or have arguments, but sometimes you just have to walk away from it all, to save your own sanity. Go find a realm/guild that you can have fun on doing things you enjoy, meeting and making new friends. Goodluck
    You don't know what irony is, do you?

  5. #65
    OP, You really need to learn how to be more concise with your words.

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  6. #66
    The Lightbringer TEHPALLYTANK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by camelhoarder View Post
    You are very wrong about aspergers not leading to irrational behavior. It is a spectrum disorder so it will always be different for each individual however the majority of people who have been diagnosed with aspergers suffer immensely from stress management ( and it is why cognitive behavioral therapy at a young age makes a huge difference ). Most also fail to properly communicate what is causing that stress or even have a realization of how much it has built up. This often leads to emotional outbursts or other behavior that the general public views as irrational. Just because the brain thinks logically does not mean stress overload is not going to cause it to behave irrationally.


    http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot....t-of-view.html
    I should have clarified my statement so it would be clear that it is based upon my personal experience with it. Learning to cope with emotions is a skill that once learned may allow for easier detachment of emotions from logical problems. I've not interacted with any women who have asperger's so I don't have any experience to speak from with regards to the differences in their asperger's due to their gender. Editing part of my previous post because after seeing your post and thinking a little I realized how utterly stupid I was being.
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  7. #67
    The drama not worth it in the end. It best to just leave them all in the dust and forget about it.

  8. #68
    Scarab Lord nightfalls's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barberry View Post
    It's Asperger's (Autism). It would depend on where she lies in the spectrum compared to the GM first of all. Secondly, while it does affect communication, it's not an excuse to be a complete and total jerk to people. If you care about your friend, you should look up the disorder to understand it better in order to improve communications.
    One thing that's really bothering me: People keep talking about "girls" and "Asperger's Syndrome" regarding why she's being a jerk, but I'm wondering what she's doing that's so "dramatic" and "irrational" to begin with. It sounds like she is the mature one here.

    I don't think this is a problem with females or Asperger's at all.

    Quote Originally Posted by Barberry View Post
    Her fiancé is a different person: Why should it matter if you had a disagreement with her.
    This and he probably doesn't care as much if he's not in the same guild situation. Maybe he reacts better to being bothered. Different people are different, and same goes for both men and women for that matter.

    Quote Originally Posted by Barberry View Post
    Drop it and move on.
    For someone who I disagreed with earlier about guilds and how they work, Barberry summed it up pretty well with this I think.

  9. #69
    Elemental Lord Arbs's Avatar
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    Do what best to make the game more enjoyable for you, not someone else.

  10. #70
    Quote Originally Posted by voidspark View Post
    One thing that's really bothering me: People keep talking about "girls" and "Asperger's Syndrome" regarding why she's being a jerk, but I'm wondering what she's doing that's so "dramatic" and "irrational" to begin with. It sounds like she is the mature one here.

    I don't think this is a problem with females or Asperger's at all.

    This and he probably doesn't care as much if he's not in the same guild situation. Maybe he reacts better to being bothered. Different people are different, and same goes for both men and women for that matter.

    For someone who I disagreed with earlier about guilds and how they work, Barberry summed it up pretty well with this I think.
    Agreed:

    I'm not sure how Asperger's fits, or how one person's case would relate to another's. The disorder is labeled within the terms of a spectrum because it is so varied. Just saying these women are Autistic isn't a medical diagnosis and being socially deviant doesn't mean one has Autism.

    I also agree that she seemed less dramatic and irrational here. If someone asks to have a subject dropped, they are avoiding drama, not instigating it.

    Also, the fact that people even related this to being a 'female' problem is silly: Especially given the pedantic nature of the OP's post.
    Last edited by Beebeey; 2013-02-01 at 11:29 PM.


  11. #71
    Brewmaster ramennoodleking's Avatar
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    OP, is The Velvet Hammer still going strong on Alleria, horde side? Was my original guild as an Orc warrior.

    OT: sounds like you may just need a break from that server

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  12. #72
    Moderator Rivelle's Avatar
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    I'd like to keep this thread open, but I need people to keep replies to it on-topic and constructive. Seriously, stop the gender bashing.

  13. #73
    Legendary! vindicatorx's Avatar
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    Been in plenty of guilds like this the friendly ones who decide they want to start raiding though half are just "really nice people" who are always being carried. I don't raid anymore due to shit like that. I don't talk to anyone in game if I can avoid it anymore except for my brother and a few old friends. If I want to raid I use LFR and ignore the chat boxes.

  14. #74
    I have to say this, it was kinda hard to read. With that said, I understand how you feel, it is hard to "move on" from a person you befriended on such a level. I would feel the same way as you do. If you felt like this girl was like a sister, then I understand. My suggestion is this, go with your guild, BUT give her some time. This just recently happen right, so emotions are still there. Give her some time and then talk to her.

  15. #75
    Dreadlord kushlol's Avatar
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    Females.....killing guilds since 2004
    (I'm kidding)


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  16. #76
    OK I read almost your complete post (I'm sorry, around 2 paragraphs before the end I just couldn't follow it anymore). Let me tell you something which could be a life lesson: sometimes you gotta let it all go and say, I'm packing my stuff and moving on. No guild is permanent, no realm is permanent, no game is permanent, no life is permanent. Nothing is permanent. Guilds come and go, that is just how it is. If you leave realm those who you miss you can add on BattleTag/realID. Leave your memories with your current guild for what they are (nostalgia) and just... woosh, move on.

    You deserve better than all this drama crap. You do NOT need to clear your name, you do NOT need to defend yourself! This is your lack of self confidence speaking. Once you leave the rat hole these people mean nothing to you anymore (except in memories). You gotta choose for yourself here and move on. If they want to hear your story you can tell them, otherwise: screw them. Just move on, not to the elitist guild, but to a higher pop realm (play the track "Cappella - Move On Baby", make a level 1 character, and look for a guild needing a DK). On a high pop realm guilds have to compete even with good atmosphere and lack of drama (on a low pop realm there's little to no alternative or competition; therefore more drama and slack).

    Quote Originally Posted by Hybr1d View Post
    [...]

    ((And 3, out of personal experience only, not generalising, but oftentimes women don't like arguments and facts why they are right. They feel they have been wronged, and that's how it is. Good luck fighting that with rationality. I lost. Often.))
    men are like that. Women more often just shrug and let the man think they win while the woman doesn't agree, she just quit arguing. Men however want to "win" arguments.

    ---------- Post added 2013-02-02 at 04:55 PM ----------

    As for Asperger or any kind of mental disability, when people start to use this as an excuse for poor behavior: take distance from these leeches. They apparently do not (or cannot) want to improve and shove mistakes off due to their disability, instead of behaving in a productive manner. Do you really think, for example, that someone with Asperger could use that to break the rules on MMOC? The mods would need to make all kind of exceptions that way. If there's too many of these people with mental disabilities together they can stimulate each other and be a ticking time bomb while one isolated case can be dealt with. You really don't want to be among too many of these people though: they'll drain your batteries.
    "When i am done with you, you won't trust your own mind."

  17. #77
    Quote Originally Posted by Bryntrollian View Post
    Game or not these are real people with real feelings
    So? It's still a video game, and some of us view it as such and don't care about the other people playing.

  18. #78
    Herald of the Titans Aqua's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyonis View Post
    1. We gamer girls are like a bunch of high school chicks.
    Speak for yourself please.

    I am not stretching truth by any imagination, hell a girl was responsible for fucking up my first guild. But I am NOT and never will be 'that girl'. And I have gone to extremes to make that so and make sure my behaviour is fitting a raider first, a gamer second and a girl...somewhere down after another couple of facts about me. I don't gossip about people unless they are in the chat and know I am joking. I don't respond to any unfounded negatives sent my way in a disruptive manner and I make sure I pull my weight.

    Accepting a 'template' for what a girl gamer is is hurting us all as a demographic and reading crap like that really doesn't make my day.

    Also men in here who are half joking but implying they're not. Good grief what are you thirteen? This is not the gentlemens club. And yes I look down on you for it. Does it matter to you? Hmm probably not. But know why I am. And maybe think.


    I refer to my first answer for this post. Attempt to mend your relationships if they mean anything to you. Upon failure, or success, move on. You'll feel better about it with time.
    Last edited by Aqua; 2013-02-02 at 04:25 PM.
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    Yeah, it's always WAR WAR WAR untill..BY ALL THAT IS HOLY DO YOU SEE THAT ENEMY OVER THERE?? GLORIOUS LOOT!!!!!

  19. #79
    Act more like a man?

  20. #80
    Quote Originally Posted by Aqua View Post
    [...]

    I refer to my first answer for this post. Attempt to mend your relationships if they mean anything to you. Upon failure, or success, move on. You'll feel better about it with time.
    Good post. I didn't touch this subject in my post enough. I was perhaps a bit too negative and unfriendly about your current guildies and those you consider your friends. Just add the people who you'd like to keep contact with on BattleTag/realID you can do all content with them except the current 10m/25m N/H raiding content and arena. Some might even follow you (but do not expect this to happen). Add them before you leave realm. Also if you hesitate you don't have to add them, because if you keep contact with at least 1 or 2 personae from the former realm you can always find them back (or make a l1 char for that). Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater either, don't burn bridges. If you leave, do so in a courteous, mature manner. Thank the guild for the nice time and wish them well. If you make it long, you'll come across as ranting. If you make it short, you'll come across as if you didn't mean it. Find the middle ground of 2-3 sentences. Don't put too much emphasis on yourself in this communication; those who are curious will ask further . Thank people individually for their company, etc. And then *poof*, off you go.
    "When i am done with you, you won't trust your own mind."

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