1. #1
    Mechagnome Minrolol's Avatar
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    GF help for a friend

    Alright well I'll try and keep this minimal. My friend has this girlfriend who is happy with him when they are together but if they go more than 2 or 3 days in a row without seeing each other she gets all sad and depressed and says he doesn't care blah blah blah, but they're fantastically happy when they see each other. Oh and to make matters worse when she's on her period it's basically Armageddon. Yes he knows its not her fault and he does try and prevent fights from happening but she finds something to get angry about and they argue. At times he's happy with the relationship and at times he hates being with her for obvious reasons. Personally I don't think this is a healthy relationship they've talked it over as far as things will happen every now and then to keep em apart for more than 2 days and she still argues. Any productive input would be appreciated I'll be showing him the post to see what other people's opinions are. tyvm ahead of time to all the productive posters

  2. #2
    Mechagnome
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    The only way their relationship could get worse is if you got in middle of it. Probably best to just be an ear for your friend and help him get over her when all hell breaks loose and they end things...which they will. Not being a douche, just been there and had friends there several times...wont end well

  3. #3
    Sounds like a lot of high school BS to me.. I mean.. I had many friends(guys and girls) whom went through the same things, and acted the same way. Don't get in the middle of anything, stay out of it and let them work it out.

  4. #4
    Just litsen, dont try to intervene. That will only get you resentment from both parties. Although the relationship doesnt sound all that healthy if the girl is that...needy. Does she have PMDD or soemthing?

  5. #5
    Mechagnome Minrolol's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gurushockin View Post
    Sounds like a lot of high school BS to me.. I mean.. I had many friends(guys and girls) whom went through the same things, and acted the same way. Don't get in the middle of anything, stay out of it and let them work it out.
    they're actually in their 20s and im not sure of any health issues actually

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Minrolol View Post
    Alright well I'll try and keep this minimal. My friend has this girlfriend who is happy with him when they are together but if they go more than 2 or 3 days in a row without seeing each other she gets all sad and depressed and says he doesn't care blah blah blah, but they're fantastically happy when they see each other. Oh and to make matters worse when she's on her period it's basically Armageddon. Yes he knows its not her fault and he does try and prevent fights from happening but she finds something to get angry about and they argue. At times he's happy with the relationship and at times he hates being with her for obvious reasons. Personally I don't think this is a healthy relationship they've talked it over as far as things will happen every now and then to keep em apart for more than 2 days and she still argues. Any productive input would be appreciated I'll be showing him the post to see what other people's opinions are. tyvm ahead of time to all the productive posters
    This girl will have a lot of problems if she keeps on "finding things to argue about" just "because." People in any relationship should be their to support each other, not to argue, and create tension between themselves, for what purpose or good would come out of this? It is just the recipe for one or both to get fed up and end it.

  7. #7
    Stood in the Fire raechuul's Avatar
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    Communication, communication, communication... Seriously it is why most relationships fail. She needs to be open with him about her feelings, and he needs to do the same. They should either work out a compromise or end it soon before they really start to hate each other.

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  8. #8
    Moderator Shamanic's Avatar
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    Pure speculation now... It may be that she wants to take a step further, see him every day and move in with him even, and he doesn't... but it's something he's going to have to sort out - could be if she's getting upset when they don't see each other for a few days, then she wants to see him more often, and if he doesn't want to see her more often, they've got a problem that they need to be honest with each other about and be open. If he honestly doesn't want to spend more time with her he needs to tell her and they both need to figure out if they should be together when there is this disconnect between what they both want.

    She sounds insecure and it's possible she may not trust him, or have issues believing that he does love her and wants to spend time with her and again that's something they need to work together on and she needs to be honest about why she's getting upset. This may be because of her personality, her past experience, a lack of self confidence, or it could be because he's not good at showing her how he feels and he's giving her mixed signals.

    It doesn't sound like an "unhealthy" relationship to me, per se... it sounds like it has some problems that they need to work through and they're not understanding each other fully right now, but the fact that they're so happy when they are actually together suggests they've got something worth at least attempting working out. Honestly don't jump in the middle though, just listen to your friend and be there for him but there's not really anything you can do other than encourage him to be honest with her.
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  9. #9
    To be honest, it sounds like she's a bit crazy. Girls who get mopey and and say their boyfriends don't care after not seeing them for a few days have serious issues.

    Also, her being 'Armageddon' on her period IS her fault.

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  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Vantheus View Post
    The only way their relationship could get worse is if you got in middle of it. Probably best to just be an ear for your friend and help him get over her when all hell breaks loose and they end things...which they will. Not being a douche, just been there and had friends there several times...wont end well
    Agreed. Unless she is cheating stay out of it. If she is cheating...Bros before hoes!
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    Sexual assault is not always rape.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mooneye View Post
    Woman rapes a guy, gives birth to child and has custody of the child.
    I don't see why you should take the child from the woman unless she abuses it.

  11. #11
    If she's looking for things to fight about, that's a problem and it's only going to get worse until she's got him totally wrapped around her finger or she finds someone else she can manipulate easier. I'd agree, stay out of it. If she gets wind that you're getting involved, you're going to be the next thing they start fighting about and then your friend is going to be in an even worse spot. Listen, sure, but don't offer any advice or opinions unless he asks for it.

  12. #12
    Dreadlord
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    Gonna reiterate what other posters have said, do not directly interfere. Just be there for your friend. And also, while I understand that periods can cause hormonal issues, that isn't an excuse to create an "armageddon" every single time. She either has to learn to control herself or continue being a very unhappy person and live through multiple failed relationships.

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Bergtau View Post
    To be honest, it sounds like she's a bit crazy. Girls who get mopey and and say their boyfriends don't care after not seeing them for a few days have serious issues.
    This can not be stressed enough.
    Apparently it's all fashionable to be all drama-queen borderline narcissistic with abandonment issues, but to be honest, it doesn't sound very good to me.
    It's quite possible that she'll mature and grow out of it, though.
    That doesn't mean it's a good idea to stick around and wait it out.

  14. #14
    Moderator Kerdoz's Avatar
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    He needs to sit down and talk to her. IF they are so happy it sounds dumb to destroy it but it wont last much longer if they keep this up

  15. #15
    From someone who has done what you're doing right now: stay out of it. Relationship troubles should be handled by the people in the relationship or you'll just cause problems, including (perhaps especially) for yourself.

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