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  1. #1

    Difficulties meeting someone

    Hello friends, recently I have been looking for a significant other and trying to move on past my crush. My crush is my best friend but I dont think she sees me the same way and we have talked about it and it just seems unreal. The problem is I can not really seem to find or meet anyone new without being in a crowd of people (which just makes me uncomfortable when I am trying to meet someone new). Any suggestions? How did you meet your current bf or gf? Would it be useful for me to maybe try an online site? I really am stumped since I left school meeting people has been a challenge. I meet a new "friend" every day but I dont want to come off as creepy because you never know if someone is looking for a relationship or not.

  2. #2
    nothing wrong with online dating sites, the negative stigma about it being a place for weirdos is totally incorrect.

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Venara's Avatar
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    I agree with Wumpa

    Online dating (and all forms thereof, i.e. mobile) probably brings more people together these days than chance meetings in bars or similar do these days. I'm not sure why it's still an issue people don't like talking about but it's absolutely "normal" these days.

    I'd also recommend two more things:

    1. Try to do something new. I joined a choir because I enjoy singing and wanted to do some hobby-type thing every week. Met my current boyfriend there, he'd been a member for a while. Joining groups or maybe a class can be a great way to meet people. Just look for something you enjoy. You'll even have something in common with a prospective partner right from the start

    2. You'll probably hear this a lot when people talk about dating but I'll say it nonetheless: Go outside of your comfort zone. Talk to people you like, tell them how you feel and that you'd like a date. Don't be afraid of people who seem "out of your league". Chances are they are looking for someone just like you rather than someone who is just like them. Model types don't exclusively date models, jocks don't exclusively date cheerleaders.

    You very likely know that but it's really hard to acknowledge. I personally always felt like I constantly fall for people who are out of my league and it is super hard to actually say something to them. The fact of the matter is that it's actually not uncommon. Ever seen a friendly couple and thought "Wow, he/she could do so much better. He/she is so much hotter than <partner>"? Those are those "out of your league" type couples. You see them every day. Once you realize that it gets a bit easier.

    I can honestly say I still think my boyfriend is way out of my league. Funny thing is, he thinks the very same thing about me. Just be yourself and don't let your imagination of what people may be looking for rule your actions. You'll find someone
    Armory - WoW-Heroes - Kirakira kagayaku mirai no hikari!

  4. #4
    Blademaster
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    If you are 100% ready for a long term commitment, I'd say the same. Online dating is not what people think it is. Tinder and sites like that give off a weird vibe about dating sites. I met my daughters mom on POF and we are soon to be married. Don't settle for you think you deserve. Women on dating sites generally list what they are looking for, never go after "hook ups" if you are wanting a serious relationship. You will only get hurt in the end. I'd say write a list on qualities you want and qualities you need. In a since, it's almost like shopping for a new computer now a days.

  5. #5
    For me it was just luck I guess. Me and my good friend didn't see each other for a month or so, so we decided to go out for a drink. We to a nearby bar, got a drink, then we went to grab something to eat across the street. When we came back to the bar, there was a girl standing near our table and she asked me if I wanted to go dance with her. She's my girlfriend for 4 years now.

    What's the point of this story? That sometimes it can happen when you the least expect it. To me and some of the people I talked to, the best way to get what you want is to not think about it too much. Be open to anything and life might surprise you.

  6. #6
    Mechagnome Garnet's Avatar
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    Online dating is 50/50 through my experience. I've only seen the bad side really, I met someone a while back and long story short she made her self out to be the kindest sweetest person on earth but it turned out she was a gold digger and used my home like a hotel. When I realized I was being taken for a mug I just packed it all up and never been interested in a relationship since.

    I'm quite happy being single to be totally honest.

  7. #7
    Start doing what you like in a group. Like: I love dancing. Dancing in groups is amazing, you meet great people and there's always new ones every week.

    Quote Originally Posted by Venara View Post
    Just be yourself and don't let your imagination of what people may be looking for rule your actions. You'll find someone
    This is the most important part.

  8. #8
    It is not a good idea to meet someone new via Internet cauz you don't really know her. She may be intended and let you run into other troubles. Go out with some real friends and find one of them

  9. #9
    Mechagnome Jassinta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Owen000 View Post
    It is not a good idea to meet someone new via Internet cauz you don't really know her. She may be intended and let you run into other troubles. Go out with some real friends and find one of them
    lol.
    for the internet is dark and full of terrors.

    PM Requests are CLOSED | DevArt | TwitchTV | Zen Pigeons

  10. #10
    Dating sites are garbage. All of them are. You'd be better off going to random real life places and chatting up people without any particular rhyme or reason than to use one. If you're the type who only likes a narrow type then you need to research where that type of person exists and frequent those locations.

    If you're a more normal person you should have no problem if your assets are in order and you work up a little confidence, but if you're a weirdo then you're going to have to be force foot in the door.

  11. #11
    Yeah I am always sceptical of dating site even if it was completely fine and the person at the other end was normally they could be normally chatting with 10 people.

    IRL you meet someone and go out for a drink or something. Online you engage in a hell of a lot more talking than you would irl prior to meeting someone which I think loses some of the spark of that first date feeling

  12. #12
    Warchief Selastan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zesilo View Post
    Hello friends, recently I have been looking for a significant other and trying to move on past my crush. My crush is my best friend but I dont think she sees me the same way and we have talked about it and it just seems unreal. The problem is I can not really seem to find or meet anyone new without being in a crowd of people (which just makes me uncomfortable when I am trying to meet someone new). Any suggestions? How did you meet your current bf or gf? Would it be useful for me to maybe try an online site? I really am stumped since I left school meeting people has been a challenge. I meet a new "friend" every day but I dont want to come off as creepy because you never know if someone is looking for a relationship or not.
    First of all, good job on not dating your crush. It takes a lot of discipline not to think of a crush as "your one true love!!!" I sort of get into that awkward situation, too, where someone you get along with may/may not like you in that way, and flat out asking them might ruin it. My advise is to stay patient, drop hints, and just look. If she stays single, doesn't mention that she likes anyone else, always seems to look her best when she knows you will be around, and do things in general that YOU would do around someone you consider a potential partner, it may be time to ask, maybe framed as a joke or hypothetical if you are on the fence.
    Quote Originally Posted by Arrashi View Post
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  13. #13
    I split up with my ex about 4 months ago. I still feel pretty cut up about it but i know it was the right decision (some of the ladies on here may remember me talking about his gambling addiction). Well it became too much.

    I've had some time out and although i'm nowhere near ready for another relationship yet i'd quite like to start casually dating or even just speaking to someone online and seeing what happens. I joined a dating website recently but as yet have had very little interest (i'd like to think i'm not bad looking, maybe i'm just on the wrong website!) I just feel pretty lonely lately.
    Last edited by bestellen; 2016-01-29 at 08:36 AM.

  14. #14
    Don't use tinder to find a relationship

  15. #15
    Elemental Lord May90's Avatar
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    My brother from Canada found himself a wife from Russia on a dating website. I know, at least, a few friends who found girl/boyfriends using a dating website. Nothing wrong with that. Sure, like any other online community, there will always be some trolls or jerks you might encounter, but I don't think it is a reason to not use them at all. The social stigma about it probably comes from the fact that dating websites have been popularized relatively recently. It wasn't a thing, say, 20 years ago, when our parents dated each other, and, like everything new, it was met with certain disbelief, which hasn't dissipated completely yet.
    Quote Originally Posted by King Candy View Post
    I can't explain it because I'm an idiot, and I have to live with that post for the rest of my life. Better to just smile and back away slowly. Ignore it so that it can go away.
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  16. #16
    Legendary! Digglett's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Owen000 View Post
    It is not a good idea to meet someone new via Internet cauz you don't really know her. She may be intended and let you run into other troubles. Go out with some real friends and find one of them
    Found my significant other online with absolutely no problems. May or may not be a rare occurrence, but just be smart about what you're getting into before meeting. Pro tip, Skype first, meet after. If they refuse to Skype then assume they are lying to you.


  17. #17
    There are certainly a few ways you can meet someone new!

    1) Online dating

    2) In the classroom/workplace

    3) Join a new activity/ get a new hobby which allows you to meet and mingle

    4) Networking events- professional or casual

    5) In the classroom

    6) Get your friend to set you up

    7) Go to more parties/social events

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Wumpa View Post
    nothing wrong with online dating sites, the negative stigma about it being a place for weirdos is totally incorrect.

    Incorrect. It is a place for weirdos. It is a place where fake ads of women pop up and men post their profiles and then message random women with very "i'm totally not interested in seeing your tits" messages that are so blatantly obvious and creepy that it's a never ending cycle of crap.

    I know some people think they will meet their dream girl online because they will also be a video game obsessed nerd who collects softies but that's just not the case. Sorry.

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Jassinta View Post
    lol.
    for the internet is dark and full of terrors.
    Have to admit this tickled me deep.

  20. #20
    Keyboard Turner Soleiya's Avatar
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    as a girl you just have to say "i play world of warcraft" and every boy will be like "GO AWAY SATAN", lol.

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