Evil slob brother - any advice?

[Lizbeth]

Well, he's going to be the one who wakes up in his mid forties and realises he's living at home and caring for his elderly parents. That being said it's not a bad thing for you. Just be prepared for the ultimate annoyance when he gets the lions share of the inheritance (or the whole house) for being the son who was always around.

Exactly what I'm worried about. This is the main reason I don't want to move out! He has no conscience and he only cares about himself. He will just try to manipulate my parents into giving him most of the inheritance and wouldn't shy away from anything to make me look bad in their eyes.

So if I move out the most likely outcome would be slacking and using the parents till hes 40-50, then selling most of the inheritance so he could continue living that lifestyle -.-

---------- Post added 2013-02-03 at 09:40 AM ----------

Yeah that wouldn't be a good idea, and most likely your house is on a breaker system so when you exceed the Amp rating for your circuit in your room it will trip. Most bedroom circuits are 15A and 20A depending on the house and what the owners want. Also most bedrooms are on there own dedicated circuits so overloading yours will only trip your breaker. Also you don't want to plus in a ton of random things, but instead plug in appliances that use alot of amps and it's not something I'd do but it wont really be dangerous as that circuit breaker will trip when you pull in to much current.

As to your problem there's not much you can do other than moving out or getting used to it. Take for example I did 60 hour weeks for 6 weeks straight while managing fulltime college and I worked 6pm-6am 5 days a week. Well I had to sleep during the day and everyones up so what I did to drown out the noise is take a decent sized fan and have it blow air at a wall/ceiling and I got used to it that now it's hard for me to sleep without some sort of fan running.

It's just that it happens sometimes without even trying too when too many appliances are plugged in. When it happens, someone just has to go turn the power back on from the electric box downstairs. Oh well..

And I already use the fan trick Only I leave my PC on but the fans aren't that loud. Doesn't help when the floor is shaking though..

Anyway, I think I'll try to get some sleep now, it seems to be quiet at the moment. Thank you all who tried to give advice and weren't just trolling or trying to interrogate me!

[Iamanerd]

Yeah sorry champ, I should have gone into minute detail on what was a rough idea and mainly a joke but hey, my bad! If you throw electrical tape on the end and leave that alone then it will be fine. It will certainly not burn the house down

Still not something to joke about, after learning the electrical code for 4 years and seeing what happens when people do something they have no experience with well it gets me going because it's serious shit. And yes electrical tape could work as well but still prone to error compared to a good ole splice cap. Plus you've got to remember someone on the internet might take that joke serious and try it. People need to respect electricity because the second you are handling something you've never worked with before, shit starts happening and its not pretty.

[anaxie]

My advice would be for your parents to cut you off for being so hateful and you live in a 1 bedroom apartment. Oh sorry is that below you to not have Jeeves around?

[critterkiller]

Well your mother isn't going to see anything unless you drag them both into therapy or your brother finally does something she can't overlook. Hes a deadbeat and it will hit him sometime. most colleges have dorms, can't you move into one?

Instead of trying to bother him, try to make your mother bother him. staying up until 4am is fine, but if hes being too loud complain to your mother about it. Tell her the noise is the problem you're having and not your brother all together. that should may help.

I agree if he wont move out do it yourself, as you said you pay your part, so that means you have an income, and that is always welcome, and OP, i really understand your frustration :S

[dekal]

My advice is to just ignore it, its just 4 years. Belive me, some people have it a lot worse. So what if he plays music at night? use ear phones and listen to your own music while you sleep. The girlfriend? why do you care? It seems like you are worried about inheritance tbh, just be good to your family, be good to your brother, don't be spiteful.

Family is about foriving, forgeting and unconditional love. don't let things this petty spoil it for you.

[Letmesleep]

Tried that a few years ago. It sort of worked but I got a really bad ear infection from it so I'm cautious now.. and they don't block out the bass anyway.

Try wax ones. I've put alarms literally right next to my head and not woken up when I have them in. I am an extremely light sleeper as well. Some of them can block so much sound that your own blood flow will be white noise for sleeping (I'm not exaggerating).

[Bananarepublic]

I don't really know what to say, show your mom the usual stereotype of a 35 year old living in the basement of his parents? The shock value could help.


Otherwise I have one thing to say: your mom and brother have a really wrong issue/complex, my god.

I mean, even my mom is very maternal and she has accepted I will move out in a couple of years, she doesn't care that much.

[Mr Anderson]

Is it possible to live on your college campus?

I just looked at every post in this thread, and it looks like it's not an option.

Well, the best I can recommend is getting ear plugs to Block out his music at night and just shutting yourself in your room when he brings his Girlfriend(s) over.

[Templar 331]

I've had a problem like this with my younger brother. All his life he would slack off and I'd have to help him do his chores after doing mine. When I bought a house, he asked to move in with me. I thought "this won't be good", but I knew it wouldn't be good for him since my mom and step dad were getting a divorce at the same time. So I did the big bro thing and let him move in with me. For five long painfull years that little bastard did the same thing he always did. Stayed up till 3 a.m. playing games like CoD and BF. Yelling and screeming in the mic and have the volume up so high to hear the footsteps of other people(which he said he needed to play good). I'd tell that sorry joker to STFU I've got work in the morning. To which he would reply "you STFU and go to sleep". He wouldn't clean, barely paid any bills around my house, was always broke when I need help and was a total ass to me. I would tell my family and all I'd get was "he's your brother, you need to look out for him."

It finally came to a head when he moved his seventeen year old, trailer park trash wife in with us. I only allowed it because she was pregnant. She is just as sorry as he is. Didn't do ANYTHING around here. Didn't have a job, didn't clean, didn't know how to operate a dishwasher or dryer. When she had my niece (who I love to death), she would leave baby bottles around half full of formula. Not just a few bottles, ALL of them. When she needed a new one, she'd find one around the house and clean only it. My niece developed thrash because of this. So, me and my family(mostly me) harped on them every chance we could for them to straighten up. It drove them nuts and so they moved out. About a week after they moved out, my grandmother noticed on my face that I was alot more rested. Sad thing is she thought it was the baby keeping me up.

Moral of this is don't let family make you miserable. They don't care about your happiness. Tell your ENTIER family how bad it is. Tell your parents that if this continues you might have to drop out of college and move out because of your brother. Tell your sorry brother that he is a slob and needs to grow up. But don't let them ruin your life. Good luck to you.

[taurenburger]

am i the only one whose alarm bells rang

Go see his thread about it, it's almost the same. Plus he's not ugly/fat/whatever, but it's weird nonetheless.

Well. You could move out, get a cheap appartment and get a job. Start your own life untill college, get a single person dorm and be happy. Either that or live with it, your parents deify (Is that really a word, as I don't really trust google translator that much and it sounds so weird) your brother apparently so he won't change.

[shise]

Focus > finish > leave

[Amnasty]

Let him know its unaccetable. My brother would do the same thing. Playing loud video games at night, i asked him nicly several times... then got rude, then told my parents, to no avail, hes the youngest and gets babied. Till one day i walked in his room with a pair of scissors and the the cords to his TV, Xbox, and his boombox. He has replaced those things.... but when i tell him its getting loud... often he just leaves his room and finds other activities.

Id be annoying right back also. Have you ever sang "This is the song that never ends" for an hour and a half till your sibiling submitted...
For you louds annoyance issue id say the breakers and or cutting cords is gonna be your go to solution... for the girlfriend thing.. i dunno get creative... fart around them to embarass him, anything to make him not want to do this...

or you can be a pro troll... and call the police on your brother for breaking noise ordinance... and if his girlfriends are into illicit drug use... or are drinking minors.. report them too... this will FOR SURE stop him from doing his douchebaggery.

if all else fails.. really try to level with him without getting mad or yelling, and just asking for a little peace since you are trying to better yourself.

[Amnasty]

Not at all lol. Im the eldest of 3 boys who live in my parents house here in south florida. The youngest gets babied to no end, does as little as possible. Like walks the dog at 5pm, and takes out trash every thursday, and bitches about that being to much. Im typically stuck doing everything and i work as a key holder at a paint store and need to be up at 5am almost every day to open the store.

He plays, halo, minecraft, cod, saints row, and all sorts of stuff late at night. And no matter when i ask him to lower it, or have my parents tell him nothing happens.

I literally got super pissed off one night and cut the cords to his tv and xbox and radio. He had no money to replace his items and neither did my parents.. so Over time as he got new ones he knew i ment business when i told him to turn it off.

[Templar 331]

Did your brother pay his share of the rent/upkeep or did you just let him freeload ?

Sadly let him freeload half the time. I couldn't kick him out or I would catch hell from the rest of my family. They view him as "special" because he's had problems learning in school. I think he's just sorry and didn't care.

[squidbear]

I think your parents did a really great job instilling both you and your brother with a sense of entitlement, to different degrees of course. what if you wanted to go to college but your parents kicked out at 16? what if you didn't have parents? people in these situations find a way to stand on their own two feet, why do you feel as though you are entitled to be domestically and financially comfortable while you study? I know it must be frustrating to see him have his way and never be called on it but taking the high road always wins in the long run, you need to move out and be your own person, even if it means working some crappy job for a year to save money for college. you could always ask your folks to subsidise your dorm money or bills with the cash they're saving having you out of the house. it may even turn out to be an improvement for your family in the long run, no matter how much your brother enjoys his life surely he would be embarrassed to see a much younger sibling gaining independence and pride? wouldn't it open your parents eyes? wouldn't you prefer to have control over your own life and destiny?

[Selestarius]

This money making opportunity you are talking about? -- Im thinking you either sold your virginity to a rich Asian man or have taken part in some nasty illegal activities >.>

R.e your situation: Seriously?! Seriously?!.... if my problems where as small as yours, id be euphoric. You live in a mansion, that mommy and daddy pays for, they offer to pay for your education aslong as you pick medicine (which despite what you say is a usually recession proof high income job) where as most of the people I know have had to get into heavy debt to get a university education. In addition surely there are other areas of medicine that do not require dealing with cadavers? - I am not that familiar with US medical education but surely you don't have to dissect a human body for all of them

Your brother:
He is spoilt and a douche -- well no shit. your parents spoon feed him and you everything, the physcological ramifications of this basically mean that there is a good chance he will never change and you should just be thankfull that you did not turn out the same. -- with regards to dealing with him, short of getting your parents on board there is not much you can do without causing SERIOUS damage to him -- I am not going to go into details for you but considering his lifestyle it should not be too hard to arrange for him to be caught by the police with a minor or illegal drugs.

Overall though your just a spoilt little rich kid with ridiculous problems -- don't come to these forums expecting sympathy, a lot of us have to work for everything we have and are not at all inclined to be sympathetic to those who have had so much given to them.

[Lizbeth]

I think your parents did a really great job instilling both you and your brother with a sense of entitlement, to different degrees of course. what if you wanted to go to college but your parents kicked out at 16? what if you didn't have parents? people in these situations find a way to stand on their own two feet, why do you feel as though you are entitled to be domestically and financially comfortable while you study? I know it must be frustrating to see him have his way and never be called on it but taking the high road always wins in the long run, you need to move out and be your own person, even if it means working some crappy job for a year to save money for college. you could always ask your folks to subsidise your dorm money or bills with the cash they're saving having you out of the house. it may even turn out to be an improvement for your family in the long run, no matter how much your brother enjoys his life surely he would be embarrassed to see a much younger sibling gaining independence and pride? wouldn't it open your parents eyes? wouldn't you prefer to have control over your own life and destiny?

I don't have a problem with my parents? We sometimes argue and disagree with each other but I love them and they obviously love me. If they had a problem with me living here then yes, I would move out but they don't. They also wouldn't SAVE anything, I've already said it maybe a dozen times that I pay my own bills, they'd have to pay more if I moved out.

And my bother doesn't care. He is spoiled and knows he doesn't have to get a job .. ever. My parents just wouldn't kick him out.

[Lizbeth]

What does he need a job for when he can pay the rent ?

He doesn't pay rent, just 1/4 of the bills but yes, exactly. That's why I think he will never get a real job or move out.

---------- Post added 2013-02-03 at 05:30 PM ----------

Let him know its unaccetable. My brother would do the same thing. Playing loud video games at night, i asked him nicly several times... then got rude, then told my parents, to no avail, hes the youngest and gets babied. Till one day i walked in his room with a pair of scissors and the the cords to his TV, Xbox, and his boombox. He has replaced those things.... but when i tell him its getting loud... often he just leaves his room and finds other activities.

Id be annoying right back also. Have you ever sang "This is the song that never ends" for an hour and a half till your sibiling submitted...
For you louds annoyance issue id say the breakers and or cutting cords is gonna be your go to solution... for the girlfriend thing.. i dunno get creative... fart around them to embarass him, anything to make him not want to do this...

or you can be a pro troll... and call the police on your brother for breaking noise ordinance... and if his girlfriends are into illicit drug use... or are drinking minors.. report them too... this will FOR SURE stop him from doing his douchebaggery.

if all else fails.. really try to level with him without getting mad or yelling, and just asking for a little peace since you are trying to better yourself.

Yea.. that just wouldn't work. He's the older brother, I'm the younger sister. Sooo no, doing anything physically to his things would just end up him breaking my more expensive and nicer things plus if my parents find out, I will be the black sheep for doing it, not him. If I want to go that route, involving the police seems to be the only way but it will have consequences. Besides, I can't just lie to them either.

I was just hoping there was something I could do without breaking into hes room that would bother him enough that he would eventually just find making noise at night more trouble than it's worth and stop.

[Aspect of Death]

Heh.. OP, are you trolling or serious? dropping out of college because of your brother..
Like most people have said, move out! You do sound extremly spoiled, and you need to wake up, move out and do something with your life. And dont drop out of college over something that silly.
Moveing out doesnt mean that you are "turning your cheek", it means you are ready to grow up. How old are you anyway?

[Bananarepublic]

This money making opportunity you are talking about? -- Im thinking you either sold your virginity to a rich Asian man or have taken part in some nasty illegal activities >.>

R.e your situation: Seriously?! Seriously?!.... if my problems where as small as yours, id be euphoric. You live in a mansion, that mommy and daddy pays for, they offer to pay for your education aslong as you pick medicine (which despite what you say is a usually recession proof high income job) where as most of the people I know have had to get into heavy debt to get a university education. In addition surely there are other areas of medicine that do not require dealing with cadavers? - I am not that familiar with US medical education but surely you don't have to dissect a human body for all of them

Your brother:
He is spoilt and a douche -- well no shit. your parents spoon feed him and you everything, the physcological ramifications of this basically mean that there is a good chance he will never change and you should just be thankfull that you did not turn out the same. -- with regards to dealing with him, short of getting your parents on board there is not much you can do without causing SERIOUS damage to him -- I am not going to go into details for you but considering his lifestyle it should not be too hard to arrange for him to be caught by the police with a minor or illegal drugs.

Overall though your just a spoilt little rich kid with ridiculous problems -- don't come to these forums expecting sympathy, a lot of us have to work for everything we have and are not at all inclined to be sympathetic to those who have had so much given to them.

You contradict yourself there.

Also, all people have problems. Just because you have problems does not cancel out theirs.

Your entire post is agressive and hostile.