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  1. #41
    Obviously you are looking for a more enlightening answer but the question you ask, is nearly impossible to answer.

    What do you actually want? You need to think long and hard. Because you could end up in a long term job with career prospects, wife and children. But still end up asking yourself the same question in 25 years time.

    On the topic of love. Finding a person and falling in love doesn't quite work like Disney (as you already noticed), I have no data on this but I would bet large sums of money on people "loving" people from childhood or places they regularly meet (like work). It's basically a compatibility test. Sometimes there ill be things which irritate another, but can be passed over in favour of the positives. The more people you meet the more chances you have of meeting the person who meets your compatibility. Your best bet would be to go to places where you are likely to meet someone who fits your type. Go to whatever clubs and meeting places fit your favourite sport/art/music etc.

    So far I have met exactly 0 people of the female persuasion that think along the same lines as me. But that more due to a lack of meeting new people (or so I hope).

  2. #42
    Pandaren Monk Slummish's Avatar
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    25 was my most difficult birthday. 30 and 35 didn't bother me. 25 was like I wasn't a kid any more, but I still felt 16 inside.

  3. #43
    Very few people are born with a purpose in this world, for most of us we make/find our purpose.

    You still have the same doors available to you know that you had fresh out of high school. Go back to school whether to is a traditional four year or a trade school. With an education you are dead in the water work wise, and depending on your work as a mechanic you can be in a good place if you want to start a career in that. Work on yourself before trying to find someone to spend the rest of your life with because if you are not happy no one can make you happy. And your unhappiness will eventually drive away the person you love, so work on yourself first.

  4. #44
    The Lightbringer Simulacrum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ebildays View Post
    Very few people are born with a purpose in this world, for most of us we make/find our purpose.
    Pretty sure it's the exact opposite of that, and always has been up until very recently even in the few parts of the world where this isn't the case.

    People didn't march to their deaths in the millions within living memory because they "found" that as their purpose; they did it because they had no choice, it was the purpose assigned to them.
    Dr Johnson, they said: “we are delighted to find that you’ve not included any indecent or obscene words in your dictionary.”
    “Ladies, said dr Johnson, “I can congratulate you on being able to look them up.”

  5. #45
    No you are very employable. People with felony convictions or single mothers with two kids and no support have it a bit harder. There are jobs hiring if you know what to do. Have you considered the military? Air Force or Navy would be my suggestion. It really can turn your life around and basically make you employable for the rest of your life with a honorable discharge.

    Also stop trying to force love into your life. It comes from unexpected directions, but you also have to realize no chick wants a down and outer complaining about how bad they got it. Chicks ussually got enough of their own life issues without having to take on more baggage.
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  6. #46
    Quote Originally Posted by breadisfunny View Post
    i've tried #3 and i'd advise against it. it never works. usually it backfires.
    Meh. Just dont want him to be a gloomy bag of sorrow moping around. Never works on making friends/attracting girls.

    At first trying to be a little happier seems a little too much/fake but in the end you end up hakuna matata'ing the whole fucking thing.
    We can get addicted to a certain level of sadness, we just gotta cut off the pattern.

  7. #47
    The Lightbringer Simulacrum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Puremallace View Post
    No you are very employable. People with felony convictions or single mothers with two kids and no support have it a bit harder. There are jobs hiring if you know what to do. Have you considered the military? Air Force or Navy would be my suggestion. It really can turn your life around and basically make you employable for the rest of your life with a honorable discharge.

    Also stop trying to force love into your life. It comes from unexpected directions, but you also have to realize no chick wants a down and outer complaining about how bad they got it. Chicks ussually got enough of their own life issues without having to take on more baggage.
    Discharged soldiers also suffer from massive suicide rates, especially if they couldn't cope with civilian life to begin with, as a result of losing the structure, comradery, and purpose given to them in the military.
    Dr Johnson, they said: “we are delighted to find that you’ve not included any indecent or obscene words in your dictionary.”
    “Ladies, said dr Johnson, “I can congratulate you on being able to look them up.”

  8. #48
    Quote Originally Posted by Puremallace View Post
    Also stop trying to force love into your life. It comes from unexpected directions, but you also have to realize no chick wants a down and outer complaining about how bad they got it. Chicks ussually got enough of their own life issues without having to take on more baggage.
    Well said. OP just gotta know more people and screw around a little bit without worring. Worked for me.

  9. #49
    Quote Originally Posted by Cattlehunter View Post
    Pretty sure it's the exact opposite of that, and always has been up until very recently even in the few parts of the world where this isn't the case.

    People didn't march to their deaths in the millions within living memory because they "found" that as their purpose; they did it because they had no choice, it was the purpose assigned to them.

    We are not talking about the past but the present, in the here and now most people are born without having a purpose. The few that have a purpose assigned to them tend to find that stressful and confining. Many times in life we will find ourselves assigned a temporary purpose but that is not the purpose that defines us as a person. Out of those millions who marched to their deaths to you their purpose was to die but to them and the people that knew them their purpose was different.

    I will go as far as to the that being born with a purpose is one of the greatest freedoms a person can have because you are free to shape your life how you choose to. Finding a purpose for yourself is not an easy task for some but it is rewarding for all who take the time and trouble to do so.

  10. #50
    Titan Wildtree's Avatar
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    I know it sounds strange, coming from me. But anyhow.... OP. Ever considered to enlist for the Army?
    Why am I saying that. You seem to drift through some empty space for yourself. You have a hard time to see the perspectives, even if they'd be right in front of you.
    No matter which direction you turn, you always see all kinds of negative roadblocks and the sum of it makes you feel like you cannot overcome just one.

    Joining the Army would:
    Teach you to organize yourself better. Gives you a purpose as defender of whatever it is you feel is worth defending.
    Soldiers are usually very respected - usually. Many females have a thing for uniforms, which may open another door you have a desire for.
    Plus, you can use that opportunity also to further educate yourself. You can become a mechanic from hell, and the Army teaches you to be just that.

    All in all, I believe for someone like you, becoming a member of the Armed Forces is a valid choice. Above all else, it gives and teaches you a structure for your life.

  11. #51
    Mechagnome Osyrus's Avatar
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    Wow.

    Apparently its the age. I just had my 25th birthday.
    Two years ago I was about to go to Law school, and switch careers to medical field so I began to take classes to get into nursing school.

    Then I was suddenly 'laid off', I had to move back in with my parents, and I can not find a job- even if I stripped in the middle of the road. Even Walmart said i was over qualified to be a cashier. So wtf. I feel the same.
    All of my friends but two got married or had babies this year- the ages range from a bit young to several years over- no joke 11 weddings? 3 babies? Plus I have more 'friends' who are getting married/pregnant this year.

    My guy? Lives 500 miles away and even thats complicated. Men. lol

    You are not the only one. but you are the only one that can get you on the right path again. Make your own luck.

  12. #52
    Old God PizzaSHARK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wildtree View Post
    I know it sounds strange, coming from me. But anyhow.... OP. Ever considered to enlist for the Army?
    Why am I saying that. You seem to drift through some empty space for yourself. You have a hard time to see the perspectives, even if they'd be right in front of you.
    No matter which direction you turn, you always see all kinds of negative roadblocks and the sum of it makes you feel like you cannot overcome just one.

    Joining the Army would:
    Teach you to organize yourself better. Gives you a purpose as defender of whatever it is you feel is worth defending.
    Soldiers are usually very respected - usually. Many females have a thing for uniforms, which may open another door you have a desire for.
    Plus, you can use that opportunity also to further educate yourself. You can become a mechanic from hell, and the Army teaches you to be just that.

    All in all, I believe for someone like you, becoming a member of the Armed Forces is a valid choice. Above all else, it gives and teaches you a structure for your life.
    Agreed, but keep in mind 25 is pretty late to be enlisting as an E-0. You're going to be getting bossed around by Corporals and even Sergeants several years younger than you.
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    The best you people can do is throw insults and lay your perspective on what a real adult is onto me but I will continue to reject them. And you will try and try again, force me into submission but I will continue to press on.
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  13. #53
    He who's down shall fear no fall...

    What do you do with your life, when you don't have any purpose?

    The easy part... create a purpose.

    The hard part, of course, is determining what that purpose is.

    But the good news is that all you can do are the easy parts at this stage of your life - so don't worry.

    Sounds like at this stage you need a bit of confidence and hope. If you want to be a magnificent strong tree, you first need to have your roots grounded in the earth.

    Start by reading - LOTS of reading. The good news is you were born and live within a time of information prosperity! A veritable library at your fingertips! Youtube, BitTorrent, forums, Amazon, you name it!

    So, what do you read? At this point I'd suggest 2 things - books on self-confidence and depression, and possibly money management.

    Don't let the GED get you down... it's not about what your educational level is, it's about what you can DO! I've got a GED myself and did very little college too, and I'm semi-retired with a paid-off condo, paid off car, no credit-card debt and over 100k in the bank.

    If I was to suggest some reading:

    Anything by author Steve Chandler - he has a bunch of audiobooks and normal books. I'd say start with "100 ways to motivate yourself". It was a BIG catalyst for my life.

    Financially speaking, I suggest: "Your money or your life", be warned that it's in dire need of updating via it's "solution" in the end - but the principles of the first 75% of the book will completely change your life around. This will also be a VERY big key for getting you to want to start off "small"... more importantly, to realize that "financially small is better than financially big" when it comes to freedom and confidence.

    Know that your depression you're hitting is because you're finding a lack of identity - therefore I suggest focusing on yourself for at least one year.

    The last piece I will remind you of is an old Chineese quote. "There are two perfect times to plant a tree - 100 years ago, and today". You may think you're "old" now... but if you're 40 saying "I wish I was 30 or 20 again" - remember that there will be a 60 year old version of you wishing he was at least 40 again.

    I hope some of this helps... good luck on your journey!
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  14. #54
    Quote Originally Posted by PizzaSHARK View Post
    What this guy said. Flat out ignore any job posting that doesn't give you an address to apply at, or a phone number to call. If you're applying by filling out an online form or sending an email with your resume attached, you're just wasting your time.

    Do they have the business listed, but tell you to apply online? Fuck that, dress nicely and go apply in person, and don't take "no" for an answer. Tell them you will not leave until you have handed the manager your resume and/or filled out an application.

    There are potentially hundreds or even thousands of applicants for a single job posting, depending on where you live. You need to do something to stand out from the pack, and that's not going to happen if you're just blithely sending emails.
    Wait, what? This depends heavily on where you are and what company you're applying to. The company I work for (like many others) doesn't even talk to you until you're vetted by HR, which is only done after filling out an application online. There are no paper applications, and it seems this is the way the majority of businesses operate any more. Maybe it's just the companies I applied to, but I'd say a good 90% said they had no paper applications and that was 3 years ago.


    Quote Originally Posted by PizzaSHARK View Post
    Agreed, but keep in mind 25 is pretty late to be enlisting as an E-0. You're going to be getting bossed around by Corporals and even Sergeants several years younger than you.
    Meh, it happens. He's also going to have officers a few years younger than him as well. It sort of happens like that if you're not tightly focused on something specific. My manager is younger than I am. His supervisor is 30 years older than him, but her supervisor (regional VP) is about 30 years younger than her. The question a lot of people would feel the need to ask is, "What does this 20 year sergeant know that I don't?" The answer to that is, enough to be a sergeant and your direct supervisor. You have to keep in mind to respect the rank or position, and ignore the age.

    To the OP though, a few comments and questions. I understand how you're feeling and there are a lot of people that have gone through the same thing. There's nothing special that happens when you become an adult, you just are. There's no manual that gets sent to you, no one shows up on your doorstep saying, "Okay, NOW you leave McD's and sign up for your REAL job", it just happens. Read this link a bit and you'll see that you're not the only one out there. John Cheese's articles are usually great for people like us.

    As far as finding a girlfriend, look at it from the other perspective. You said you're cynical, have no plans for the future, and apparently no job either. That's not really relationship material (at least healthy relationship material), but, and this is the important part, it's something you can fix. Socializing, even if it's at work or school, will help, and the confidence you get from doing either of those will be a HUGE step forward.

    For a job, there's a myriad of possibilities. The military is something you can do, although it's going to be tougher without a diploma. From what I've read, you have to score very high on the ASVAB, or have 15 college credits, which apparently puts you in the same category of a diploma holder. College is another option. Despite your grades, most places will take someone with a degree over someone who doesn't. Most junior colleges will have programs for vocational training, so if being a mechanic is something that you'd like to do or you feel would be easy, you should be able to get certification that way. If college isn't an option, hit up auto parts stores. Your prior experience should help you out.

    Questions I have for you:

    Are you currently employed? If not, how are you supporting yourself?

    What kind of area are you living in, rural, urban, suburban?

    What's the job market like there?

    When did you get your GED and what have you been doing since then?

    Do you have any other work history?

    Do you have any family, and if so, what is your relationship like with them?

    Is there any sort of job or career that does sound interesting to you?

    I am aware that you have other concerns than a job, but I want to eliminate the basics. I have done a fair bit of hiring in the past and answers to these questions will help establish a starting point.

    Edit: Whoops, forgot one. Are you religious or do you belong to a church?
    Last edited by DeeEss; 2013-02-05 at 07:33 PM. Reason: Forgot to add a question

  15. #55
    Quote Originally Posted by Cattlehunter View Post
    Discharged soldiers also suffer from massive suicide rates, especially if they couldn't cope with civilian life to begin with, as a result of losing the structure, comradery, and purpose given to them in the military.
    lol hence why I said Navy or Air Force. Stay away from Marines or Army if you are this emotionally vulnerable already. They will chew you up and spit you out a suicidal mess.
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  16. #56
    Stood in the Fire raechuul's Avatar
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    I know someone who's almost 22 and doesn't have a GED yet. You're not a lost cause, as long as you have the motivation to DO something about it. If you frankly don't give a shit, you may end up doing nothing with your life. (That being said, you posted a thread asking for help, which tells me you have the desire to do something about it. That's a great first step.)

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  17. #57
    What I did when my wife left me is and this is no joke. I stayed drunk for a month and masturbated copiously. It took me almost 5 weeks to realize it wasn't me. It was just we had been together since we were 15 and for whatever reason she waited till she was 23 to start partying and shit. And she just couldn't rectify that I had to pay for the house and car payments and shit. After I came to terms with that, took me like 2 months. I started to talk to girls. One girls I met was cool and she played WoW too. Turned out she only started playing after we met and she started stalking me irl and in WoW. She would hang out around the raids and shit for hours while we did progress in Bt and SWP. She farmed shit for me for some reason and after I told her to fuck off she started cutting herself. Bitch was crazy. Any ways I met someone on WoW that turned out we had irl connections, and she is totally not crazy and 6 years later we are married.

    I guess the moral is, don't let shit get you down. It will always get better given enough time. Just live life to the fullest. That's teh best way to go about things.

  18. #58
    Quote Originally Posted by DeeEss View Post
    Questions I have for you:

    Are you currently employed? If not, how are you supporting yourself?

    What kind of area are you living in, rural, urban, suburban?

    What's the job market like there?

    When did you get your GED and what have you been doing since then?

    Do you have any other work history?

    Do you have any family, and if so, what is your relationship like with them?

    Is there any sort of job or career that does sound interesting to you?

    I am aware that you have other concerns than a job, but I want to eliminate the basics. I have done a fair bit of hiring in the past and answers to these questions will help establish a starting point.

    Edit: Whoops, forgot one. Are you religious or do you belong to a church?
    Not employed, I wound up having to move back in with my father. I'm basically scraping by on what I had saved up when I was working before.

    I guess "suburban"? It's a pretty small town I live in right now. The job-market is pretty much non-existent; most places here don't even hire, and instead just use the temp-service to fill all of their positions. When I went to the temp service, there were about 40 people there, abut about 34 of us just waited around the entire day, several days in a row. Just sort of lost faith in that. Considering relocating; I know a guy who lives near D.C.

    I got my GED in 2005, while I was working full-time at my Grandfather's mechanic-shop. Once he passed away, by cousin took over, and closed the shop I worked at a relocated like an hour away. He then decided to give me an unreasonable pay-cut, to the point he was obviously trying to get me to quit so he wouldn't have to fire me; he never liked me, for some reason, and wound up just re-hiring someone else. Since then, I've just taken odd-jobs as I could find them. Truth be told, I never liked mechanic-work anyways.

    As for family... I've pretty much just got my dad and my sister, all of us living at the same house. We've all have financial troubles, and moving back in with my father was about the only choice either of us had, and even he's needed the help.

    Honestly, when I was younger, I was all about joining the Military, but my weight has always been an issue. I honestly question whether it's even possible to get my weight down; when I worked as a mechanic, I was super active, but I still put weight on. And for a few months last year, I cut my calorie-intake down to 1200 calories a day, and still didn't lose weight. It's sad to say, but I feel like the military just isn't an option anymore. The only other thing I ever had a strong interest in was game-development, but that doesn't seem very realistic.

    As far as religion, I used to actually be extremely religious as a kid. Never super judgmental or anything, but I was definitely very devout. Around my late-teens, though, I just sort of fell out of it. I guess that's about the same time I started feeling so lost about everything; about the same time I stopped believing in religion.

  19. #59
    Herald of the Titans Beazy's Avatar
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    You think you arent a part of the "goings on" in this world bro? Think again.


  20. #60
    Normal teenage confusion...
    it never really goes away, and you dont need a purpose, life itself has no purpose so make one yourself, and if you cant, its fine as well, just enjoy life.
    I get enjoyment from helping others and as such i drifted towards medicine, find what gives you joy and go for it.

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