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  1. #61
    Quote Originally Posted by Claymore View Post
    Not employed, I wound up having to move back in with my father. I'm basically scraping by on what I had saved up when I was working before.

    I guess "suburban"? It's a pretty small town I live in right now. The job-market is pretty much non-existent; most places here don't even hire, and instead just use the temp-service to fill all of their positions. When I went to the temp service, there were about 40 people there, abut about 34 of us just waited around the entire day, several days in a row. Just sort of lost faith in that. Considering relocating; I know a guy who lives near D.C.

    I got my GED in 2005, while I was working full-time at my Grandfather's mechanic-shop. Once he passed away, by cousin took over, and closed the shop I worked at a relocated like an hour away. He then decided to give me an unreasonable pay-cut, to the point he was obviously trying to get me to quit so he wouldn't have to fire me; he never liked me, for some reason, and wound up just re-hiring someone else. Since then, I've just taken odd-jobs as I could find them. Truth be told, I never liked mechanic-work anyways.

    As for family... I've pretty much just got my dad and my sister, all of us living at the same house. We've all have financial troubles, and moving back in with my father was about the only choice either of us had, and even he's needed the help.

    Honestly, when I was younger, I was all about joining the Military, but my weight has always been an issue. I honestly question whether it's even possible to get my weight down; when I worked as a mechanic, I was super active, but I still put weight on. And for a few months last year, I cut my calorie-intake down to 1200 calories a day, and still didn't lose weight. It's sad to say, but I feel like the military just isn't an option anymore. The only other thing I ever had a strong interest in was game-development, but that doesn't seem very realistic.

    As far as religion, I used to actually be extremely religious as a kid. Never super judgmental or anything, but I was definitely very devout. Around my late-teens, though, I just sort of fell out of it. I guess that's about the same time I started feeling so lost about everything; about the same time I stopped believing in religion.
    Okay, I don't know if these are even possibilities, but I'm just going to throw out suggestions in the hope that something will be usable.

    For starters, if your town is that bad for jobs, are there any other towns/cities close by or are you out in BFE? Your description of the temp office sounds more like a day labor place. Not trying to bust your chops, but if you don't know, there is a difference. A real temp office should get your info, possibly give you a few tests, and call you when something comes up or has you call early in the morning to find out if there's anything. A day labor place has you sitting around like a jackass, praying they'll need someone and, if not many people call, you sit there the whole day. As far as the mechanic stuff, a lack of certification will obviously hurt you, but not at something like a parts shop or junkyard. If you don't like it, that's fine. Do it for now if you can, and develop a plan for the future. You mentioned something before about having to compete with 17-18 year olds for the same entry-level jobs, but if you have the maturity to identify the issues you've posted here and the guts to actually post and ask for help, you'll probably have a good opportunity for advancement. Remember, you don't have to stay there. You can also try hitting up government websites for jobs in your area city/county/state/federal. Just google them one at a time, but understand that hiring is usually a long process through the government.

    I asked about family because I wanted to know if there's anyone that could help you out there. The only thought I have there would be if you all relocated to another area. However, if you do something like that, most of the places with jobs are going to be costly as far as rent, unless you have a decent commute involved. If you're considering going to D.C., see if you can find out what the job market is like prior to leaving. If you'd be living with this dude, make sure you find what ALL of his expectations would be for you living there. You don't want to put yourself in a worse situation, although I'll admit that I have a generally negative view of roommates.

    The military was kind of an idle thought. If you can get your weight under control, great. If not, you'll have to pursue other options, which leads us back to college. I don't know about the college closest to you, but I'm led to believe that most colleges will have an office that helps you get a job. Well, I'm hoping it wasn't just mine at any rate. Game development is certainly possible, but there's obviously a few steps you'll have to take before that, and hey, if it doesn't work out, you'll have the background for a lot of other positions.

    The main reason I asked if you were religious is that you would have potential connections at a church. A lot of people there would know who owns a business, who's hiring and so on.

  2. #62
    Quote Originally Posted by Sivick View Post
    Life is about the journey, not the destination. (spoiler: it's death)
    Or to live forever! I have my alchemy lab set up already.. won't take long now..:P

    OT: I'd say having no "purpose" is amazing You're not a cog in some machine. Do whatever you want.

    I never understood some peoples obsession of living by society's standards. Work is for money, if it doesn't interest you, do something else. You can always go to college too, it's pretty much a reset button. Starting a family is a trickier part but you're a guy, you probably don't have to worry about being too late with it for 20 years at least.

  3. #63
    Brewmaster Banzhe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Revik View Post
    Have you thought about finding God? I am quite serious. Most of the posters here would think this would be an abhorrent suggestion but it is an option.

    I am personally not religious but I do know some religious people and I can't help but notice the positive impact it has in their lives. For some people it fills them with a purpose to move forward in their life and God provides you the hope that you seem to desperately need. You can meet a lot of folks learning about God and going to church maybe even meet your future Mrs. You don't have anything to fear because God's hands are always open to accept you.

    Church groups are also a good place to find volunteer work. Volunteer work could be a nice confidence booster and working with other people you might find friends and/or get references for work you might find later down the line.
    So if someone have lost a sense of direction, the option to believe in something entirely fictional n' imaginable will help them back?- DAMN, why didn't I think of that when I felt lost, I'm sure Mickey Mouse or some other fictional persona could work wonders......

    OP, to me it sounds like your biggest issue, is looking around n' comparing yourself to others believing you should be in the same place.., so your 25 with no career or girl in your life, just lean back n' enjoy what you do have going as I'm sure there are things you enjoy, the girl will come eventually no matter what you do, as far as a career.., not everyone is mean't to spend a decade in school, you can lead a perfectly happy life without wearing a suit.., if you don't think so, start doing something about the situation, search into what is required to get X education n' work towards it.

  4. #64
    Pick a career, go to a school for it and go do that. Everything else will fall into place after. You gotta invest in yourself.

    The way things are really, is that in order to get a significant other, you have to have something to offer them. They're going to want something you have. That's just how people are. A car..what kind of car? A place...what kind of place? Activities and all that other crap.

    Stay clear of getting into real trouble with the law and everything else in life can be repaired if you're not where you want to be.

    Even if you aren't excited by anything, pick something that's achievable now and offers an opportunity to get in somewhere regular, and you'll be ok. It doesn't matter if you don't know the subject..that's what school is for.

  5. #65
    You need to learn how to stop worrying and love the bomb.

    I don't have much advice as far as career prospects are concerned - things work so differently on this side of the atlantic (I have no idea what are GPA's, GED's etc.). But I do know that my life was a mess at some point and the worst thing you can do is let it get to you mentally. I know it's easy to say, but just... stop worrying, start doing something, anything. Get up early even if you don't have to. Start exercising. Pick up a cheap guitar, practice playing it and laugh at yourself when you're absolutely horrible at it, but be stubborn and stick to it (that's what I did). Atleast you'll have something to talk about with people, a conversation piece for a date - "yeah I picked up the guitar to impress girls but don't ask me to play anything, I absolutely suck".

    Idleness breeds apathy and it sounds like that's exactly what you're going through.

  6. #66
    Scarab Lord Roose's Avatar
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    I feel you on many of those points. All I can say is, at least you have your health and youth. School is becoming less and less important in finding a job. It is all about experience.

    Go take up a trade. You already have some mechanical skills and you seem pretty bright. Best job security that you can have is knowing a skill that will always be in need.

    I think many go their whole lives trying to find out exactly what they were meant to do. I have no freaking clue still. Stop looking and it may just come to you.

  7. #67
    Elemental Lord Snowraven's Avatar
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    OP, let's start with work, since it's easier to fix.

    Now, you don't have the certified bla bla etc, but what you do have is experience with, I presume, cars. So, find another car shop, or a gas store or something similar and try it out. Try and apply. Mention in your CV about having worked to your family car shop, because even if it wasn't certified, it's still a bonus and employers take notice. If there's a blank between college and now in your CV they'll ask anyway so you will still have to tell them.
    Now, what most employees look for is not that you're 17-18, but rather that you have some experience and you're still in strengh. You have both, so it's worth a try.
    I suggest working at a gas store if you want to grow in like in either oil extraction or market sales fields (gas vendor, oil truck driver, oil field worker etc or gas and gas shop vendor, vendor, supermarket info person, supermarket supervisor etc).

    Now, on second problem. Finding love... this is complicated, so can't give much advice. So just good luck here.

  8. #68
    Legendary! vindicatorx's Avatar
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    You define your purpose I hate the idea that life is pre planned like oh I'm 18 time to go to college, 22 time to get that career going and get married, 28 time to pop out some kids. I'm 35 and finishing my BA, I'm single and more than ok with that. I'm doing shit for me now not anyone else.

  9. #69
    "25 is not old, and it's certainly not too late to hit the veritable reset button"

    25 is YOUNG - at age 52 I've hit the reset button twice in the last 10 years.

    For me, purpose issues come and go. When I feel purposeless, well that really really sucks. You will have to find your own purpose and goals, no one can do that for you, and if it is a bad purpose with not so good goals... well just reset again

    And don't envy the "normal" or compare yourself in any way to them. For one, you would likely find, if you really had detailed information about how they really live, that you are doing quite well. A lot of people are really good at APPEARING happy and cool and "with it". But often the appearance covers up a LOT of crap (which is why they spend so much time maintaining the appearances).

    For two, what DOES work for them may not work so well for you.

    Try different things, keep the parts you like, and always reflect on the parts you are happy with and appreciate what is good about your life.

    As far as love goes... I agree with a previous poster, that's complicated.

  10. #70
    Stood in the Fire Nayelie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Claymore View Post
    As far as religion, I used to actually be extremely religious as a kid. Never super judgmental or anything, but I was definitely very devout. Around my late-teens, though, I just sort of fell out of it. I guess that's about the same time I started feeling so lost about everything; about the same time I stopped believing in religion.
    This stood out to me. If your beliefs were so important to you when you were growing up, and then you lost it, could that be part of the feeling down? I know I have battled personally with my status of "active in my church". And I personally feel a correlation of active = feeling happier and full of purpose vs. not active = less motivation to do things.

    Perhaps go to a service or two. Hit up a Catholic church, a Baptist Church, a Jewish Synagogue. Go on a day other than Sunday. Maybe you will get some inspiration. I know that it works for me at least.


    As far as other advice...if the location you are in and the people you are surrounding yourself in aren't working, get out. Move. You said you have a friend in DC. Go there. Get a part time job or two. Get yourself busy. Watch protesters live and learn about their passions. Find inspiration somewhere.

    You know you can do it. Just have to take that first step

  11. #71
    you commit sucide or post pointless threads or you get a life...
    The constructive troll!

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