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  1. #1

    What do you do with your life, when you don't have any purpose?

    Welp, I turn 25 at the end of the month, and I've basically been dealing with an emotional break-down this past week, that my life is pretty much hollow. I have a GED, an abysmal GPA, all of maybe 5 college-credits, and a work-history that might as well be non-existent. I moved around a lot growing up, so I never really had any friends, so now that I'm grown up, I don't have any friends.

    More than anything, what bothers me is not having met someone to fall in love with. I know it probably sounds "gay" or "effeminate" or whatever, but I guess deep-down, I always hoped to find someone like in those cheesy Disney movies. Most people who know me probably consider me fairly cynical, but I've just never quite been able to stamp-out that inner hopeless-romantic. My whole life, I've just never been "boyfriend-material", I guess. The few instances I've mustered up the courage to ask a girl out, I got shot-down each and every time.

    So, I thought, I'll just do me, and focus on getting my life together. But I can't do that, either. I'm basically unemployable, I guess, because my only work-history was in a family-owned mechanic shop, which never required me to get certified, so that winds up being kind of a wash. As such, I'm basically competing for the same entry-level job-openings at 17 and 18 year-olds probably are, with not much else going for me.

    Even with all of that, I think I could get by... but I feel I don't have any purpose in life. There's no family for me to be a part of, there's no possible career I feel passionate about, and no girl to fall in love with. Being almost 25 years-old, I feel like I'm supposed to be a "man", but when I look at my life, I feel like I'm no better, and no wiser, than when I was 16. I know so many people who are already getting settled into their lives -- getting married, having kids, getting promoted into high positions in their jobs -- that I feel like, for some reason, I'm "stuck" at just being a kid. And the kind of life I want is just slipping further and further from my grasp.

    I suppose I'm getting a little carried away at this point, but... I'm just lost. I'm not sad or depressed, just feeling a bit overwhelmed. I know 25 is still relatively young, but I felt like I should've been at least been somewhat on-track towards building some kind of a life for myself. Clearly, I'm missing something; like missing puzzle-piece, something that "normal people" seem to have that I don't.

  2. #2
    The Unstoppable Force RICH8472's Avatar
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    Join a few clubs or something to boost your confidence.

  3. #3
    Banned Jayburner's Avatar
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    i'm an old man and i still feel like some confused teenager..shit never goes away.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Claymore View Post
    Welp, I turn 25 at the end of the month, and I've basically been dealing with an emotional break-down this past week, that my life is pretty much hollow. I have a GED, an abysmal GPA, all of maybe 5 college-credits, and a work-history that might as well be non-existent. I moved around a lot growing up, so I never really had any friends, so now that I'm grown up, I don't have any friends.

    More than anything, what bothers me is not having met someone to fall in love with. I know it probably sounds "gay" or "effeminate" or whatever, but I guess deep-down, I always hoped to find someone like in those cheesy Disney movies. Most people who know me probably consider me fairly cynical, but I've just never quite been able to stamp-out that inner hopeless-romantic. My whole life, I've just never been "boyfriend-material", I guess. The few instances I've mustered up the courage to ask a girl out, I got shot-down each and every time.

    So, I thought, I'll just do me, and focus on getting my life together. But I can't do that, either. I'm basically unemployable, I guess, because my only work-history was in a family-owned mechanic shop, which never required me to get certified, so that winds up being kind of a wash. As such, I'm basically competing for the same entry-level job-openings at 17 and 18 year-olds probably are, with not much else going for me.

    Even with all of that, I think I could get by... but I feel I don't have any purpose in life. There's no family for me to be a part of, there's no possible career I feel passionate about, and no girl to fall in love with. Being almost 25 years-old, I feel like I'm supposed to be a "man", but when I look at my life, I feel like I'm no better, and no wiser, than when I was 16. I know so many people who are already getting settled into their lives -- getting married, having kids, getting promoted into high positions in their jobs -- that I feel like, for some reason, I'm "stuck" at just being a kid. And the kind of life I want is just slipping further and further from my grasp.

    I suppose I'm getting a little carried away at this point, but... I'm just lost. I'm not sad or depressed, just feeling a bit overwhelmed. I know 25 is still relatively young, but I felt like I should've been at least been somewhat on-track towards building some kind of a life for myself. Clearly, I'm missing something; like missing puzzle-piece, something that "normal people" seem to have that I don't.
    I know a girl from high school who got knocked up and is now living with some guy she's known for like less than a year....in short, so what if these people are "starting their lives" right now. they're usually premature and lead to stress or bigger problems later on in life. They "just wanted to get somewhere" quick. And they got it, and they'll pay for it.

    You know what you have? Patience. Something that normal people don't have, and wouldn't care to have. They live at the whim of their desires instead of their minds. You have this advantage: use it. Invest your time in things you care about, and in people you think are worthy. You only asked girls out a few times. I've dealt with many more fuck ups than getting turned down a few times, and managed to get a girlfriend.

  5. #5
    Well assuming you enjoy working as a mechanic you should look into getting certified. That way your work history would at least count for you.
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  6. #6
    Find something you are interested in and can be good at. You're not an academic, not a big deal. Become an apprentice in something and go with it. Don't wait until tomorrow to cowboy up.

  7. #7
    The place to start is with a job - you're having a late start, but the fact that you can write out a coherent post saying, "where do I go from here?" suggests to me that you are employable. Getting a job will almost surely crank up your self worth, give you more disposable income, and make you more desirable to women. Go to places where you can talk to a manager rather than just being a nameless face in an application pile, explain to them that you're getting a late start, but that you'll work your ass off. I bet you'll find something fairly quick.

  8. #8
    Immortal Noomz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Claymore View Post
    Welp, I turn 25 at the end of the month, and I've basically been dealing with an emotional break-down this past week, that my life is pretty much hollow. I have a GED, an abysmal GPA, all of maybe 5 college-credits, and a work-history that might as well be non-existent. I moved around a lot growing up, so I never really had any friends, so now that I'm grown up, I don't have any friends.

    More than anything, what bothers me is not having met someone to fall in love with. I know it probably sounds "gay" or "effeminate" or whatever, but I guess deep-down, I always hoped to find someone like in those cheesy Disney movies. Most people who know me probably consider me fairly cynical, but I've just never quite been able to stamp-out that inner hopeless-romantic. My whole life, I've just never been "boyfriend-material", I guess. The few instances I've mustered up the courage to ask a girl out, I got shot-down each and every time.

    So, I thought, I'll just do me, and focus on getting my life together. But I can't do that, either. I'm basically unemployable, I guess, because my only work-history was in a family-owned mechanic shop, which never required me to get certified, so that winds up being kind of a wash. As such, I'm basically competing for the same entry-level job-openings at 17 and 18 year-olds probably are, with not much else going for me.

    Even with all of that, I think I could get by... but I feel I don't have any purpose in life. There's no family for me to be a part of, there's no possible career I feel passionate about, and no girl to fall in love with. Being almost 25 years-old, I feel like I'm supposed to be a "man", but when I look at my life, I feel like I'm no better, and no wiser, than when I was 16. I know so many people who are already getting settled into their lives -- getting married, having kids, getting promoted into high positions in their jobs -- that I feel like, for some reason, I'm "stuck" at just being a kid. And the kind of life I want is just slipping further and further from my grasp.

    I suppose I'm getting a little carried away at this point, but... I'm just lost. I'm not sad or depressed, just feeling a bit overwhelmed. I know 25 is still relatively young, but I felt like I should've been at least been somewhat on-track towards building some kind of a life for myself. Clearly, I'm missing something; like missing puzzle-piece, something that "normal people" seem to have that I don't.
    Be glad you have your health, both physical and mental. How happy I would be if not getting a job was my only worry.

    You seem to have a lot of insight about yourself, even though you look at it all a bit negatively. Give yourself some credit.

    You simply lack purpose, that's always bothersome for anyone. Purpose can be find in anything, anyone and anywhere.

  9. #9
    Scarab Lord Maxilian's Avatar
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    Well, first try to get some friends in college or maybe do as RICH1471 said, and join a club it will help you boost your confidence and you may also make some friend or even meet that especial person, if you don't have a job you love try to get a job you're ok with it and you know that may take you far in life, try getting a job in a small company, and don't feel bad because you won't get a lot, try to work there at least to have work-expirience (at least 1 year), also try to talk with your family (parents, aunts and uncles) they may help you a lot, how? they can help you with a job (a certificated one) or just to be there for you when you need them.

  10. #10
    25 is not old, and it's certainly not too late to hit the veritable reset button and do whatever you'd like with your life. If you are without purpose, then you are, in fact, blessed. Take a risk, try something daring. Absolutely nothing is stopping you but yourself. Volunteer. Take a martial arts class. Go rock climbing. Join the military. Learn a new programming language.

    The easiest, and potentially most daring of these is surprisingly volunteering, because volunteers are wanted everywhere for just about anything.

    Some of the most successful people in the world didn't start their business or do anything 'huge' until their 30s or 40s. It's never too late. My grandfather learned to play the cello and joined a community orchestra at the age of 68.

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  11. #11
    I know the feeling, and I know how irritating it is when people tell you what to do as if they understand. The truth is you do know what things you have to do to get yourself on track, you just don't want to do those things because you don't understand why you should do them. Wouldn't it just be so much easier to just stop? I don't really have an answer to that question personally, but I'm too much of a coward to commit suicide -- although I've thought of it plenty -- so I might as well try to trug on and make this life a bit more worthwhile. If you're going to live it, might as well live it successfully.

    It sucks going from waking up early because you have something you want to do and sleeping in late because you're just completely drained and you feel useless. I'm assuming that's what you feel like.
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  12. #12
    Don't worry about what other people are doing. Getting down over where you are in life isn't going to do you any good. Life is always hard, most people live to work but if you're lucky as well as driven you can work to live. You're better off than a lot of people, just because you don't have a girlfriend/wife doesn't mean that you don't have any purpose or whatever. Just try to get out and meet people... apply for jobs all over the place, don't worry yourself if you don't have that "one" job yet either.

    Just relax stop thinking about what you don't have and instead appreciate what you do have.

  13. #13
    You seem to have goals, but you are not motivated enough to move towards them at any decent pace (or at all). Maybe you just don't like yourself enough. My thoughts, those are.

    Anyway, even if it may seem like you provided a lot if information, it's a tiny amount compared to what someone would need to actually find out exactly what's going on with you. And that someone would have to be very good at it, too. That's not to say advice in this thread will be useless, but if anything, it'll just be lucky probable guesses.
    Last edited by Creotor; 2013-02-05 at 05:29 AM.

  14. #14
    Have you thought about finding God? I am quite serious. Most of the posters here would think this would be an abhorrent suggestion but it is an option.

    I am personally not religious but I do know some religious people and I can't help but notice the positive impact it has in their lives. For some people it fills them with a purpose to move forward in their life and God provides you the hope that you seem to desperately need. You can meet a lot of folks learning about God and going to church maybe even meet your future Mrs. You don't have anything to fear because God's hands are always open to accept you.

    Church groups are also a good place to find volunteer work. Volunteer work could be a nice confidence booster and working with other people you might find friends and/or get references for work you might find later down the line.

  15. #15
    Also, keep in mind that many of these so-called "goals" are forced upon us by society. Having kids, family, gainful and steady employment are all goalposts that lead to stability, but not necessarily a "better life".

    At the end of the road, you still die, and its up to you what you think matters: whether you've spent your life helping others, advancing society, raising children and family, or partying hard and smoking weed.

  16. #16
    Life is about the journey, not the destination. (spoiler: it's death)

  17. #17
    The Lightbringer MonsieuRoberts's Avatar
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  18. #18
    The Patient Ratsion's Avatar
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    Well, if I can share with you what I plan on doing once I graduate Highschool, is to join the army for three months (It's really just 3 months of basics)

    Why? Because it doesen't really require anything to get into it, and you'll learn ALOT while you are there, and you'll probably get more diciplined. And especially if you haven't had any previous job experiences, it can boost your resume. Also, I'm going there alone, so I won't really have any friends there (at first) either. After that, I'll see what I'll do, but it's a start atleast.


    That's atleast how it works in my country :P

  19. #19
    The Insane Cattaclysmic's Avatar
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    I started in Med School.

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Claymore View Post
    I suppose I'm getting a little carried away at this point, but... I'm just lost. I'm not sad or depressed, just feeling a bit overwhelmed. I know 25 is still relatively young, but I felt like I should've been at least been somewhat on-track towards building some kind of a life for myself. Clearly, I'm missing something; like missing puzzle-piece, something that "normal people" seem to have that I don't.
    I turned 23 August 2011. Just gotten out of university without anything good to look forward too. The only advice i can give you is don't let it get down. It took me over 30 interviews and a couple of months to get a job and get stuff sorted. Your biggest enemy is apathy and depression.

    If you want to meet decent people or a girl you will have to look pretty hard. You will have to find places near you where such people meet. You could sign up for volunteer in some animal shelter or something to do with charity. If you don't have money offer them your work. Helping people in positions worse then your own will help you grasp how banal and easy your problems really are. You just can't give up.
    Last edited by Cybran; 2013-02-05 at 08:24 AM.

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