^ that is some funny shit made me lol irl at work.
Pirate's favorite candy bar?
Pirate's favorite shoes?
Pirate's favorite Diablo class?
Joke from back on the last International Talk Like A Pirate Day:
"I would participate in Talk Like A Pirate Day, but I don't know any Somalian."
Why can't pirates share loot equally?
They're bad at ARRRRRRithmetic.
--- an oldy but goody.
pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird ****!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they ARRRRRRRRR
A pirate walks into a bar with the steering wheel of a ship in his pants
The bartender says, "Mate, ya got a steering wheel in your pants" to which the pirate replies
"Aye, it's drivin' me nuts."