1. #1

    I have a great job, and it's awkward.

    So, uh. This isn't usually the type of post I make, but I think in this case it might be good to get opinions from people in different countries. I'll try to be concise.

    Most of the jobs I've had have been terrible, up until recently. I've worked fast food and stressful warehouse gigs while studying and while looking for better things in an already overcrowded job market. I always felt pretty good about them, though, even as me and my coworkers slaved through understaffed shifts, because, well, I was making money, and even if the jobs sometimes made me miserable, at least that misery could be shared with my friends.

    Fast forward until a year ago, and I was finally offered a job within my particular area of expertise. It's a software company in an up-and-coming niche of the industry, and it was everything my other jobs hadn't been. Pay is great, lots of personal responsibility and development and an absolutely ridiculous number of perks - we decide our own working hours, pick out our own laptops, repeatedly go on trips to resorts and conferences, etc. I'm pretty humbled and consider myself very lucky to have this job. However, it's not all roses and sunshine, as it has created a very awkward situation with some of my friends:

    When we all had terrible jobs, it'd be something we could share and rant over. Terrible boss? Yeah, I know that feeling. Obnoxious customers? Tell me about it! Now though, it just doesn't work that way anymore - I feel bad even mentioning my job to those of my friends who are stuck doing things they don't enjoy, or even worse, are unemployed. The reverse seems to apply too, they don't really talk to me about their bad days at work either, like we used to. It's not that I think they're resentful or anything, but it's definitely awkward for everyone and I'm not sure what to do about it at all. It's hard to even know how to bring it up.

    Anyone had any similar experiences? Or maybe some other input to offer?

  2. #2
    Commiserate with your friends, you don't have to offer any terrible stories about your stuff, just agree with them that it sucks.

  3. #3
    i feel terrible for your "plight". really. i'm sure you'll get over it, captain humblebrag.

    on topic: maybe get friends you have more in common with than "we all work crappy jobs".

  4. #4
    If they're your friends, they'll be happy you got a good job. And if you're their friend, they'll know better than to think you'd be condescending toward their jobs that you once shared. Just act like nothing changed and don't brag too much, and there won't be any problems.

  5. #5
    Immortal Sigma's Avatar
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    if they cant be happy for you because you found a great job which your happy doing, then it's time for some new friends.
    Quote Originally Posted by Acelius View Post
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  6. #6
    I appreciate the advice, guys. Ironically I think Ssith pointed out the problem best:

    i feel terrible for your "plight". really. i'm sure you'll get over it, captain humblebrag.
    That's really not how I intended to come across - sometimes it feels like it's hard to even talk about without coming off like I'm bragging. I just really don't want to be that guy.

  7. #7
    Field Marshal ashankt's Avatar
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    In that situation myself right now.
    I'm in a job where there's plenty of perks and I earn well but a lot of my friends are struggling, a few have done well in their careers and I always say to them that it can happen and not to give up hope


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  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Shrouded View Post
    I appreciate the advice, guys. Ironically I think Ssith pointed out the problem best:



    That's really not how I intended to come across - sometimes it feels like it's hard to even talk about without coming off like I'm bragging. I just really don't want to be that guy.
    Then don't talk about it? If they ask you how your day was just say "same old same old", if they ask you about pay just say "it's alright", if they ask why you're going to a resort just say "work stuff". I don't see how hard this is.
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  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by vizzle View Post
    Then don't talk about it? If they ask you how your day was just say "same old same old", if they ask you about pay just say "it's alright", if they ask why you're going to a resort just say "work stuff". I don't see how hard this is.
    It's difficult to explain just how awkward it can get - but you're probably right, and I'm making a bigger deal out of it than it should be.

  10. #10
    The Lightbringer draynay's Avatar
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    well, I kind of get your problem, I get it because of how incredibly unsympathetic I feel toward it

    your friends share this same lack of sympathy

    get over it I guess, it's your cross to bear...

  11. #11
    I'm going to be blunt here.

    Welcome to life. Yours has moved forward, theirs hasn't. They will catch up, continue to be your friend or you'll move on to new friends. Welcome to being an adult. Some friendships don't last forever and if your shitty work is all you had in common then it wasn't going to last.

  12. #12
    Yeah if your friends are drilling you for the information thats there fault. but if they just ask try and be humble about it and just do what vizzle don't go into much detail. It's prob. just harder now to talk about things because you had something talk about but now it's awkward to tell people about how great your day was when there day was fastfood/hard labor. Sometimes you lose friends because of these type of things but honestly as long as your not bragging about it they should have no reason to hate you. It may be hard but in life you sometimes have to find new friends although that is apart of life.

  13. #13
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  14. #14
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    If they are your friends then they should be happy for you.
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  15. #15
    The Insane Reeve's Avatar
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    When I graduated college and went on to having a businessman type career job, I was a little uncomfortable bringing it up with my friends at first, who had all chosen not to go to college and were working in restaurants. As time went on, though, I got over it. They don't really care, and are happy doing what they're doing, so I ask them about their work and they ask me about mine.
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  16. #16
    It's only awkward if you feel it's awkward. I don't think my friends would feel awkward if I told them I had finally gotten an awesome job, they would probably be happy so long as I didn't constantly talk about how awesome it is. I mean, if they ask and you tell, they can't really blame you. It might even be a bit encouraging for them to see that somebody they know has gotten a great job. I mean, if you don't know anybody with a great job and you yourself don't have one, it might seem like you never will, but if you know people who have them, it might seem more within your reach.

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  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Shrouded View Post
    I appreciate the advice, guys. Ironically I think Ssith pointed out the problem best:



    That's really not how I intended to come across - sometimes it feels like it's hard to even talk about without coming off like I'm bragging. I just really don't want to be that guy.
    The moment you start your position having an influence on your personality you are the annoying guy. If you kept acting like you always did you wouldn't be in this situation.

    If your friends had a problem with you having a better job I'd have sympathy, but you said they didn't so it's only your own fault I'm afraid.

    Edit: Half they people saying his friends should be happy for him prob didn't even read the OP, he stated his friends don't have a problem.

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Shrouded View Post
    So, uh. This isn't usually the type of post I make, but I think in this case it might be good to get opinions from people in different countries. I'll try to be concise.

    Most of the jobs I've had have been terrible, up until recently. I've worked fast food and stressful warehouse gigs while studying and while looking for better things in an already overcrowded job market. I always felt pretty good about them, though, even as me and my coworkers slaved through understaffed shifts, because, well, I was making money, and even if the jobs sometimes made me miserable, at least that misery could be shared with my friends.

    Fast forward until a year ago, and I was finally offered a job within my particular area of expertise. It's a software company in an up-and-coming niche of the industry, and it was everything my other jobs hadn't been. Pay is great, lots of personal responsibility and development and an absolutely ridiculous number of perks - we decide our own working hours, pick out our own laptops, repeatedly go on trips to resorts and conferences, etc. I'm pretty humbled and consider myself very lucky to have this job. However, it's not all roses and sunshine, as it has created a very awkward situation with some of my friends:

    When we all had terrible jobs, it'd be something we could share and rant over. Terrible boss? Yeah, I know that feeling. Obnoxious customers? Tell me about it! Now though, it just doesn't work that way anymore - I feel bad even mentioning my job to those of my friends who are stuck doing things they don't enjoy, or even worse, are unemployed. The reverse seems to apply too, they don't really talk to me about their bad days at work either, like we used to. It's not that I think they're resentful or anything, but it's definitely awkward for everyone and I'm not sure what to do about it at all. It's hard to even know how to bring it up.

    Anyone had any similar experiences? Or maybe some other input to offer?
    I totally understand your situation and how awkward it can be. I ran into a similar situation with my job. One of the other posters said it right though I think. You just need other things to talk about then just complaining about work. It is very possible your friends are at least somewhat jealous of your situation, so it may be best to try and downplay it on your end. If they really can't get over it, then perhaps they are not as good of friends as you originally thought they were.

  19. #19
    Stood in the Fire Orochiro's Avatar
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    Just act as you always have around your friends, they will also find their own places eventually so there is nothing to worry about.

  20. #20
    Brewmaster xindykawai's Avatar
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    i have to say, im in the exact situation, the thing is, dont change, they'll get use to it and eventually find their dream job of their own

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