So, the story is, I had just graduated college and was floating around life, I was doing drugs and drinking heavily, somehow I ended up living with my sister. I didn't pay any bills making $1200 a week and didn't have a dollar to show for it, I partied it all away. She started asking me to move out, indirectly. I misread this as an attack and took action, we fought back in fourth for 2 days saying things that I shouldn't have. I went straight to the low blow, I told her I would call CPS and start all kinds of drama, she hung up. She hired a lawyer, he payed me 1k to move out and I did. I miss her as she was a defining person in my life well before all this happened, she was an inspiration to me and I feel lost without her. I wrote her this tonight and she hasn't responded to it yet. If you read it would you try?
I miss you, I'm not going to beat around the bush, the words that were said and the actions that were taken were the wrong ones. I was a drug addict and lost in life. I was told not to contact you by the lawyer or the agreement would be voided, 1k isn't enough. I would gladly pay that to contact you again. Trying to not think of you isn't working, I miss you. You are strong and I WAS weak. I used you, I feel like such a shitbag for it too. Now that your not around I feel like I am missing something important in my life that I can't not have. I hope that you will forgive my actions and words, I am not asking you to forget what happened. I just wish we could talk again. If not, that's okay. I said and did things that were wrong, and still are. You were and still are a part of my life in the way you live your life and I wish I could still have you in mine. If you don't wish to respond to this, I won't try to contact you again, I will just let you live. But, I hope to come to a resolution as I don't want what happened to be the defining moment in the awesome time we had. I just wanted to reach out to you because I was doing the wrong thing to a person I should have gave the world to in the way you opened your world to me. I love you Christine, I'm sorry.