Let me throw a few facts at you here:

1. Out of all of the prospective guilds for Elder Scrolls Online, The Marauders is the least likely to give you scabies.

2. The Marauders are the only ones who bring to the table brand new proud old traditions such as honor, shenanigans, a kick-ass theme song, sleep depravation, Taco Tuesdays, and winning at everything (including things that are unscored).

3. Those other guilds are planning on feeding you roofies and selling your kidneys on the black market. Seriously, you'll be lucky if you wake up in a tub of ice. If The Marauders sell your kidneys, we GUARANTY you'll wake up in a tub of ice.

4. By joining the Marauders, your life will automatically get 48% better. Women will want you and men will want to be you. Or vise versa, if that's how you swing. The Marauders don't judge.

This is the part where we tell you how laid back, helpful and friendly we are. We are, but that's sort of boring and trite, so we're skipping that. Just join the damn guild already.

themarauders(dot)guildlaunch(dot)com