Why are women so afraid

[Duncanîdaho]

I'm a man and I fear what some other men are capable of. Hell even I feel a little uncomfortable walking home alone because I didn't want to pay for a cab and I'm fairly built and capable of defending myself. There are some seriously dangerous men out there and there way more of them then women.

One only has to look at the history books(and even today still in less fortunate areas then my own) to see what happened to a cities female citizens when they were conquered by an opposing army or total anarchy broke out. Beyond that there's the fact that males commit way more violent crimes then women. As a man I recognize that we really don't have the greatest track record historically when it comes to the safety of woman and considering there feelings. This is why they are so cautious I think at least partly, back in the day it was how they survived the fact they had little to no rights. That mentality isn't needed as much these days in modern society, but there no denying there are obviously still men around that give them need for it still.

[Statix]

What are we really talkig about here?

Men are childish and women are hypocrits. That's the conclusion. The end.

[Sorrior]

This one paragraph seems to have spawned a massive debate into which the poster was attacked from multiple sides because people read it wrong....

Lets analyse the post:

His opinion was that he hates when people state that this crime is all about one person having power over someone else and the abuse factor and no other reason comes into it. Which is of course untrue, there are multiple reasons for people committing any crime.

1. The sense of control/power over someone else
2. Drink and the loss of inhibitions/conscience
3. Temporary insanity

(I'm sure there are others but these are the ones he listed)

No matter what the reason it all falls under the same crime and the perpetrator is always guilty, a fact that Sorrior never argued against.

He also said later on that if both parties are intoxicated that it could very well not fall under the crime (If consent was given; note that he did not say whether or not consent was given) but would still be seen by the public/authorities as such.

However I don't like that he generalized that all men sometimes lose their senses

___________________________________


I bet I get dragged into the flame war but I had to defend a post which I believe got undeserved stick, I couldn't be more against this crime so I will say no more on the subject.

That is indeed it and you're right about what i meant. Just vexing when people fully dismiss my point or assume i'm bashing women. I may have issues with extremist feminists but i honestly do care for women and others. I just don't like how people ASSUME it's all about power when many other reasons could be there.

And sorry about not clarifying but i DO feel that most men at least have the POTENTIAL to under EXTREME cases that will almost never happen IRL..I am not a 100% kinda guy so even that .001% chance for some men is still reason to consider.

[Endus]

This has been my experience as well..And i mean wth women who i have dated women i am friends with and so on. ALOT of them have either dated assholes who "seemed cool" were classic party boys or are attracted to the very things that most men KNOW mean they're a hump em and dump em type. To say nothing of abusers.

Problem is then you get less confident men or guys who might be more passive in alot of ways or are just trying to be nice who really would do ll they can to care for them who get overlooked.

It is honestly quite vexing.

It's not really "vexing".

You're just re-iterating the 'nice guy' fallacy, that girls date assholes and miss out on the 'nice guys' patiently waiting on the side.

The issue with that is it's incredibly misogynistic and demeaning to women. What you're saying, really, is that you think your behaviour means you're owed a woman. You're not being an ass, therefore she SHOULD like you, and if she doesn't, that's not fair. That's bullshit. You're not "being nice", you just lack the self-confidence to express your inner asshole.

There's plenty of guys out there who are decent guys, who aren't scared of women, and don't face either issue. The "nice guy" thing is just the passive-aggressive variant of the same assholes they complain about.

[Sorrior]

Rape has nothing to do with desire, it's about power over the victim, controlling them and hate, nothing else.

Heh no THIS is what i HATE. This stereotype that it;s all power. There can be many reasons a man might go insane. NOT just power. You have NO IDEA how powerful a TRULY suppressed male sex drive CAN be.

It obviously varies and most men never will but there are at LEAST some cases where it comes down to essentially hormonal override of reason. I am NOT saying it is right i AM however saying it is all about power is a lie that makes it easier to try and see things a certain way.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

Heh no THIS is what i HATE. This stereotype that it;s all power. There can be many reasons a man might go insane. NOT just power. You have NO IDEA how powerful a TRULY suppressed male sex drive CAN be.

It obviously varies and most men never will but there are at LEAST some cases where it comes down to essentially hormonal override of reason. I am NOT saying it is right i AM however saying it is all about power is a lie that makes it easier to try and see things a certain way.

Insanity doesn't just include *rape*. It means a lot of things. It probably is power for some but not everyone. As for hormones taking over well personally I can't say that would happen to me but I'm not sure if I believe the hormone overpowering reason.

[Osyrus]

Heh no THIS is what i HATE. This stereotype that it;s all power. There can be many reasons a man might go insane. NOT just power. You have NO IDEA how powerful a TRULY suppressed male sex drive CAN be.

It obviously varies and most men never will but there are at LEAST some cases where it comes down to essentially hormonal override of reason. I am NOT saying it is right i AM however saying it is all about power is a lie that makes it easier to try and see things a certain way.

You have not been raped and do not understand.

Just like i do not understand how embarrassing having a random erection is.

[Endus]

Heh no THIS is what i HATE. This stereotype that it;s all power. There can be many reasons a man might go insane. NOT just power. You have NO IDEA how powerful a TRULY suppressed male sex drive CAN be.

No, this is absolutely, 100% bullshit. No man is overpowered by his sex drive. He uses that to try and excuse the fact that he doesn't have a problem forcing a woman into sex. The only difference between this guy, and a guy who'd use roofies or who'd hold a gun on a woman while he forced her, is that he's an opportunist rather than a planner. That's the ONLY difference. He's still a rapist. Period. In every single goddamned case.

[seta-san]

Heh no THIS is what i HATE. This stereotype that it;s all power. There can be many reasons a man might go insane. NOT just power. You have NO IDEA how powerful a TRULY suppressed male sex drive CAN be.

It obviously varies and most men never will but there are at LEAST some cases where it comes down to essentially hormonal override of reason. I am NOT saying it is right i AM however saying it is all about power is a lie that makes it easier to try and see things a certain way.

what is also lost in these debates is that the vast majority of rapes aren't stranger rapes. They are done by someone the victim knows and trusts and you got to wonder exactly how much the sexual history between the two might contribute to it. It could have been the result of years of teasing the guy and stringing him along leading him to believe that he had a chance and he finally just decides to take it for his years of trouble.

[Endus]

what is also lost in these debates is that the vast majority of rapes aren't stranger rapes. They are done by someone the victim knows and trusts and you got to wonder exactly how much the sexual history between the two might contribute to it. It could have been the result of years of teasing the guy and stringing him along leading him to believe that he had a chance and he finally just decides to take it for his years of trouble.

All you're doing is explaining that he's a violent rapist. None of what you described are mitigating circumstances. They don't explain it. They don't justify it. All they do is describe the circumstances under which that particular person is going to rape someone. Because they're a rapist.

[Osyrus]

It's not really "vexing".

You're just re-iterating the 'nice guy' fallacy, that girls date assholes and miss out on the 'nice guys' patiently waiting on the side.

The issue with that is it's incredibly misogynistic and demeaning to women. What you're saying, really, is that you think your behaviour means you're owed a woman. You're not being an ass, therefore she SHOULD like you, and if she doesn't, that's not fair. That's bullshit. You're not "being nice", you just lack the self-confidence to express your inner asshole.

There's plenty of guys out there who are decent guys, who aren't scared of women, and don't face either issue. The "nice guy" thing is just the passive-aggressive variant of the same assholes they complain about.

Please add this video. It is funny, but true.

[A Day to Remember]

You have not been raped and do not understand.

Just like i do not understand how embarrassing having a random erection is.

So because youve been raped that makes you an expert on rapists? I bet if you asked every rapist in the world why they did it not all of them would say to control the victim.

---------- Post added 2013-02-11 at 03:49 PM ----------

No, this is absolutely, 100% bullshit. No man is overpowered by his sex drive. He uses that to try and excuse the fact that he doesn't have a problem forcing a woman into sex. The only difference between this guy, and a guy who'd use roofies or who'd hold a gun on a woman while he forced her, is that he's an opportunist rather than a planner. That's the ONLY difference. He's still a rapist. Period. In every single goddamned case.

He isnt saying he isnt a rapist he is fucking saying that it isnt always about power and hating women.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

So because youve been raped that makes you an expert on rapists? I bet if you asked every rapist in the world why they did it not all of them would say to control the victim.

As if the Rapist is going to convict himself.

[starlord]

what is also lost in these debates is that the vast majority of rapes aren't stranger rapes. They are done by someone the victim knows and trusts and you got to wonder exactly how much the sexual history between the two might contribute to it. It could have been the result of years of teasing the guy and stringing him along leading him to believe that he had a chance and he finally just decides to take it for his years of trouble.

ah, trying to justify rape i see.

---------- Post added 2013-02-11 at 12:55 PM ----------

So because youve been raped that makes you an expert on rapists? I bet if you asked every rapist in the world why they did it not all of them would say to control the victim.

---------- Post added 2013-02-11 at 03:49 PM ----------



He isnt saying he isnt a rapist he is fucking saying that it isnt always about power and hating women.

yeah sometimes its just about doing it cause you can. totally different!

[Endus]

He isnt saying he isnt a rapist he is fucking saying that it isnt always about power and hating women.

Except that it is. It isn't complicated. Date rape ONLY happens because a guy decides that getting off is worth abusing and forcing a woman to have sex with him. That's it. That's the whole thing. He doesn't see her as an equal, he sees her as a tool, a means to an end. Her resistance is an offense, which is why he forces her. That's the entire dynamic.

If you're claiming it's anything else, you're deluding yourself.

[Deleted]

Depending how far it's gone SOME men can't just turn off the switch.

I'd say alot of things cone from biological differences not just ideological as far as this debate goes.

Bullshit is all I can say about that.

[Paladin885]

I used to assume like the OP did and ask the same question as to "why."

Then I hug out with my sister one day and decided to "see" as she sees men around her. (like as men walk by us I would look at them and observe their behavior)


Long story short... we're pigs. We look at women like a piece of meat and if we're not undressing them with our eyes we're either gay or have the urge to go beyond that. Women like to dress sexy and have fun... but society has taught men that sexy = "i want to have sex, F* me now" and that is how rape happens. Women cannot express themselves without the potential threat of being subject to a man's sexual desires or urges.

...and thats sad.

I used to roll my eyes when my sister (who dresses casually for a girl her age) would get uncomfortable even when going to the grocery store because some old perv would check her out... but now that I've seen it first hand I feel sorry for her and worry about those male types that don't just look... they want a bite and won't take no for an answer.

[Ebildays]

actually it's the fault of neoteny. It's all the child like features that girls have that drives men to want to help them when they look like they are victims.



women actually carry much of their power in their child-like features and victim status.

You do know that is just one person's opinion, not fact also they talk about how both men and women show signs of neoteny. While women show more signs of it, that trait is still important to women as well. Just look at the features that most women find most attractive in men and you will see quite a bit of features that have neoteny attached to them.

Women actually carry much of their power in the fact that men hold a weakness when it comes to sexual attraction. Because men want to have sex with attractive women they give them gifts and sometimes that gift is the gift of power. While some women may play up their "child-like features" or "victim status" it is men who allow women to get ahead by doing so.

[Osyrus]

So because youve been raped that makes you an expert on rapists? I bet if you asked every rapist in the world why they did it not all of them would say to control the victim.

Wow. This is offensive even for internet standards. I never said I have no have not. Please do not put words in my mouth for something so serious.

Except that it is. It isn't complicated. Date rape ONLY happens because a guy decides that getting off is worth abusing and forcing a woman to have sex with him. That's it. That's the whole thing. He doesn't see her as an equal, he sees her as a tool, a means to an end. Her resistance is an offense, which is why he forces her. That's the entire dynamic.

If you're claiming it's anything else, you're deluding yourself.

This is what I am saying- thank you for expressing this better than I am currently able

[Sorrior]

I guess he personally would not find it offensive and would gladly help identify the attacker but understands that some people would find it offensive

I think some people just breeze past that part of the brain that tries to understand what people mean and jump to conclusions.

Edited to make it even more understandable!

Agreed and i hate it when i do it myself.


And i think the offense is in where it feels like we're being accused of beinga rapist when we're not one. It IS a VERY stigmatizing accusation and even being accused CAN and DOES destroy entire lives. Especially when mixed in with some peoples obsession with background checks and all that.

Hell some of the stuff i posted 2-3 years ago on various forums doesn't even sound like me today yet if someone were to search my username and see where i've been they might assume i'm still how i was...And probably will. That's not cool.

The internet doesn't let ANYTHING die and while that's good if used PROPERLY things like being in that lineup really could hurt a man down the line. It's a real problem and TBH i think people need to learn to look past the surface of things before they judge(yes i am guilty of this we all are) and then maybe things canw ork better. But as it is even being IN that lineup could destroy a life.

Thus why men might take offense. It's also just kinda offensive to be lumped up with a rapist in general LOL.