Page 1 of 2
1
2
LastLast
  1. #1
    Stood in the Fire Seiken3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Norway
    Posts
    411

    Feelings Overload

    Hey again, guys.

    Tonight... Well, stuff happened. The chick from this thread: http://www.mmo-champion.com/threads/...Beautiful-mind - contacted me again over email a little over a month before things ended. If you don't care to read all of it - it's details about our -then- "relationship" and how it went to hell.


    For 2 weeks after our "breakup", I didn't feel much. I felt a bit sad and that's it. But then it suddenly hit me like a wave of emotions. I became depressed for a while and it was just this week when I finally managed to get through the days more or less at normal again with good help of my friends.

    However, tonight she contacted me again. She said how she had been "stalking" me, checking when I was online and such, still trying to find things out about me. While I don't mind that at all, things got bad when she actually sent me an email saying she missed me. I said I missed her too and we came to the conclusion where we still had feelings for each other. Very much so. But she is apparently still not going to commit to me.

    "Poem" I wrote about our situation.

    "You took a chance on loving me, I took a chance on loving you. We danced the dance of roses, but oh, why hide such needles under your lovely petals? In the end when the dance ends, everything withers and dies. The cold winter came and mighty King Winter is merciless no matter where one tries to hide. However... Many doesn't pay attention to the fact that a withered rose still has its thorns... Oh, the sting..."


    The whole thing this post is about is... Well, my feelings got pulled up for her again. My heart is laying bleeding in her hand and she's looking at it while crying. She blames herself for stabbing herself and me in the belly by contacting me again, but... I need to get my thoughts straight. I can't take this much more... Help me, Mmo-Champions!
    Love without pain isn't really romance.

  2. #2
    Stood in the Fire Saladin456's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Englandland
    Posts
    344
    Someone fucking you up that badly probably isn't worth the trouble.

  3. #3
    Stood in the Fire Seiken3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Norway
    Posts
    411
    My head knows it. My heart won't accept it. :/
    Love without pain isn't really romance.

  4. #4
    My advice is the same as it was in the previous one.

  5. #5
    Epic! Tucci's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Boston, MA
    Posts
    1,569
    Use your better judgement. Will it work out in the long run? If not and she's too much trouble, better to cut the strings in my opinion and never contact each other until you actually get over it. Otherwise you might be wasting years of your life chasing after something that was never going to work to begin with.
    i5 2500k @ 4.7Ghz | GTX 670 SLI OC | 8gb DDR3 1600 | ASRock P67 Extreme4 | X-Fi Platinum | 1+3TB WD Caviar Black | EVGA Supernova 1200 P2 | LG M2762D-PM 27" 1080p | Logitech THX Z-5300e 5.1 | CM Stacker STC-T01 | Razer Naga/Logitech MX-518 | Noppoo Choc Mini Cherry MX Red | Logitech G330/Audio-Technica ATH-M50

  6. #6
    Listen to the song "Jar of Hearts"

    I think it has a good message for times like this. You can't just scar someone and leave them and then try to come back to them, it is a vicious cycle, it would probably happen again.


    PS SERIOUSLY watch the music video. It's exactly what you need to say.
    Last edited by Symphonic; 2013-02-09 at 11:42 PM.
    MY X/Y POKEMON FRIEND CODE: 1418-7279-9541 In Game Name: Michael__

  7. #7
    Herald of the Titans Syridian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    The Outskirts of Lea Mondé.
    Posts
    2,772
    Quote Originally Posted by Seiken3 View Post
    My head knows it. My heart won't accept it. :/
    End of discussion?

  8. #8
    Stood in the Fire Seiken3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Norway
    Posts
    411
    Good song. Was just the thing I could say to her, beside that she wants me again. She doesn't - that's why it hurts so much when she contacted me again. I tried to listen to "HIM - Funeral of Hearts". It helped a little... but... oh, the pain......
    Love without pain isn't really romance.

  9. #9
    The Unstoppable Force Aeluron Lightsong's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Jaina Proudmoore's side. Always and forever.
    Posts
    24,717
    Quote Originally Posted by Seiken3 View Post
    Good song. Was just the thing I could say to her, beside that she wants me again. She doesn't - that's why it hurts so much when she contacted me again. I tried to listen to "HIM - Funeral of Hearts". It helped a little... but... oh, the pain......
    She isn't worth it.
    Blizzard do not destroy Jaina Proudmoore's character. Make her who she once was, not full of rage and vengeance.,If you are curious about me or about my writing aspirations, feel free to pst me. Paladin-Sorcerer at your service! My Youtube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/Aeluron Big fanboy of Yrel now. Love her now

  10. #10
    Mechagnome Fateq's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    England
    Posts
    556
    Quote Originally Posted by Seiken3 View Post
    . I said I missed her too and we came to the conclusion where we still had feelings for each other. Very much so. But she is apparently still not going to commit to me.
    Seems like she misses you when it's convenient for her, really, she has 2 kids and has been married twice before at 25 years old, I'd steer well clear. I'd recommend this to someone who lived even in the same country as them, but is it really worth changing your life by moving for this? You won't listen to anyone's advice, you're probably hoping someone is all "go for it man" to confirm what you've already decided, I just hope that if you do end up going and having a relationship with her that if it ends you've not fucked up your life too bad.

  11. #11
    Stood in the Fire Seiken3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Norway
    Posts
    411
    Well... I guess it would be 1 year "wasted". Getting lots of experience, though. But... I could really go without and actually hit happy-love. I think I'll take some sleep-medicine and just... fade out for tonight. Cheers for all replies, though. I know there ain't much to be done over forums, but I really appreciate that you guys tried.

    See you laters.
    Love without pain isn't really romance.

  12. #12
    Breakups suck and they hurt, but it does get better. You know that you shouldn't be with this person, it's best you move on, keep busy, distract yourself, give yourself time to heal. I'd also suggest blocking them and preventing them from contacting you. If you don't they'll be able to drag this out if they want to (and it sounds like they do/will), which isn't helping you at all.

  13. #13
    Looks like someone is abusing your emotions. That automatically means not worth it.

  14. #14
    Over 9000! Snowraven's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    European Union
    Posts
    9,336
    Quoting myself from the other thread:

    Quote Originally Posted by Arnorei View Post
    Do you want me to be truly honest?

    She sounds like the type of lady that always falls for jerks. She already fell 3 times for jerks and is about to fall once more for same jerk that was number 3. This shows that she didn't learn anything form her mistakes. The fact that she started talking less to you kind of shows the guy may be winning. So she let herself be fooled. Give her advice on it and tell her to ask herself this:
    "would she rather stay with someone who cares about her and loves her and whom she likes too or would she rather stay with someone who has shown to be a cheater several times and broke her trust every time he could?"

    And after you ask her that question... you need to ask it to yourself. Would you rather find someone who actually loves you, or someone who, while tehnically in a relation with you now, has sex with a guy who treated her like scum? I could understand she had "needs" or you two being in an open relation, but the fact that she sleeps with that one guy who broke her heart and treated her like trash shows that... this is not the case.

    Have a longer discussion with her about the matter. If she says it's nothing and gets annoyed then just stop talking to her, since this means she's trying to make you feel guilty for bringing up a fair point. Or better yet. Tell her that if she remains with the dude he'll only cheat on her again, then break contact. She'll get all pissed but in a few months you'll get a message from her saying you were right.

    Edit: just read all your responses OP to the thread, ask her this: if she felt so bad when her ex-current-ex cheated on her, how does she think you feel now knowing she has sex with a guy, and furthermore, with the same guy whom she says hurt her so bad?
    So OP, did you ask her what I said? If not, ask her now. And ask yourself those questions too.
    By the way, did the jerk actually win? Her ex guy who was giving candy and whatnot? If yes and then a few weeks later she got bored of him again and went to you, you're wasting your time.

  15. #15
    Stood in the Fire Seiken3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Norway
    Posts
    411
    Yeah, that guy won. I heard through a friend of her that they've decided to buy a house together. Her friend feel really sorry for me too, saying "You were just a plaything.. She would get all into you, only to show the one she's living with what you will do and such to make him jealous and make him level with you and treat her even better."

    Anyways, I just woke up. Feeling better now, but it still hurts. We've agreed to talk on skype one last time before we part for good. I'm unsure if I should guilt-trip her, be my understanding usual self or try to emotionally annihilate her.
    Love without pain isn't really romance.

  16. #16
    Moderator Shamanic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Cardiff, Wales
    Posts
    10,982
    Anyways, I just woke up. Feeling better now, but it still hurts. We've agreed to talk on skype one last time before we part for good. I'm unsure if I should guilt-trip her, be my understanding usual self or try to emotionally annihilate her.
    Don't do it. Just don't. Nothing good is going to come of it. You need to accept that it's over and move on. Unrequited love, breakups, it hurts, they suck, more than anything else, because it's hard for other people to understand exactly how you're feeling. There's no way of knowing if it's ever going to get better, no way of putting a band aid on the hurts.... but you're torturing yourself by staying in contact with her. Talking to her "one last time", is just fuelling your addiction and your pain. Thinking about trying to emotionally anihilate her is just going to leave you both feeling bad. Why do you want to hurt her if you care for her. You just need to accept that she cannot give you what you want, and what you deserve, and move on. You need to forget her. Start now, be strong, cut communications and do not speak to her again.

    Just my two cents. It's easier said than done, I know, I've been there myself, and listened to this advice given to me by other people, and I haven't been strong enough to take it and keeping contact only made things worse, now I know they were 100% right but I see other people make the same mistakes because walking away is a really tough thing to do, even if you know deep down it's what you need to do to move on.
    Moderator of Professions & Garrisons | General Discussion | Diablo 3 | Guild Wars 2
    Please take the time to read the Forum Guidelines & Sig Guidelines

    Currently playing: Warlords of Draenor | Diablo 3 | Hex TCG | Heroes of the Storm
    Steam

  17. #17
    I agree with Shamanic. Even though you already agreed to talk over skype one last time, just don't even start up the program, and act like it was never agreed upon. Yes, stand her up and leave her hanging. Honestly, that will probably show her how much she screwed up in harming you emotionally. Best thing to do is not even get on skype and "walk away".

  18. #18
    Over 9000! Snowraven's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    European Union
    Posts
    9,336
    Quote Originally Posted by Shamanic View Post
    Don't do it. Just don't. Nothing good is going to come of it. You need to accept that it's over and move on. Unrequited love, breakups, it hurts, they suck, more than anything else, because it's hard for other people to understand exactly how you're feeling. There's no way of knowing if it's ever going to get better, no way of putting a band aid on the hurts.... but you're torturing yourself by staying in contact with her. Talking to her "one last time", is just fuelling your addiction and your pain. Thinking about trying to emotionally anihilate her is just going to leave you both feeling bad. Why do you want to hurt her if you care for her. You just need to accept that she cannot give you what you want, and what you deserve, and move on. You need to forget her. Start now, be strong, cut communications and do not speak to her again.

    Just my two cents. It's easier said than done, I know, I've been there myself, and listened to this advice given to me by other people, and I haven't been strong enough to take it and keeping contact only made things worse, now I know they were 100% right but I see other people make the same mistakes because walking away is a really tough thing to do, even if you know deep down it's what you need to do to move on.
    Agreed. Leave her be, she used you as a toy OP, and now she's trying to do so again.

  19. #19
    As much as relationships can be complex the bottom line is either you both love each other and want to make the relationship work or you don't. It kind of sounds like she made her choice and it doesn't sound like you will convince her to change her mind so it's time to move on.

    Good luck.

  20. #20
    Bloodsail Admiral KunkkaTheAdmiral's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    The Seventyseven sea's.
    Posts
    1,018
    Time heals all wounds, but it can't if you still communicate with her and you get reminded again and again, never talk to her again.
    "Why do we fight? To protect home and family, to preserve balance and bring harmony. For my kind the true question is, what is worth fighting for?"

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •