1. #1

    A Seemingly Random Question...

    So, I posted to this forum ages ago when I was gathering data for my dissertation, now being written. All the information was extremely helpful and I was very excited by the response from everyone.

    In an effort to get myself moving on a theme I have what may look like a random question for you all (but it really isn't).

    How can you tell you're chatting with a girl? Any textual clues, phrases, avatar choices, etc. that "tip you off"?


    The question may sound strange, but I'd appreciate thoughtful and honest responses.

    Please help a struggling grad student.

    Edit: To clarify, the context is not face-to-face, it is totally text-based. Sorry about that and thank you for the responses so far!
    Last edited by MercilessHeart; 2013-02-14 at 01:32 AM.

  2. #2
    The Insane Reeve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MercilessHeart View Post
    So, I posted to this forum ages ago when I was gathering data for my dissertation, now being written. All the information was extremely helpful and I was very excited by the response from everyone.

    In an effort to get myself moving on a theme I have what may look like a random question for you all (but it really isn't).

    How can you tell you're chatting with a girl? Any textual clues, phrases, avatar choices, etc. that "tip you off"?


    The question may sound strange, but I'd appreciate thoughtful and honest responses.

    Please help a struggling grad student.
    When her mouth is moving and mine is moving and sound is coming out.
    Well 1, 2, 3, take my hand and come with me
    Because you look so fine
    And I really wanna make you mine

  3. #3
    Immortal Dezerte's Avatar
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    Hard to tell, hell, I've been mistaken for a woman more than once.
    To declare that a personal, inner experience gives certainty about the workings of the universe is to assign far too much value to one’s subjective sense of conviction.
    I’m not that arrogant.

    The brain, marvelous instrument though it is, isn’t infallible. It can misfire, seize or hallucinate, and it can do so in a way that’s utterly indistinguishable from reality to the person experiencing it.

  4. #4
    The Patient Mehbooba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MercilessHeart View Post
    So, I posted to this forum ages ago when I was gathering data for my dissertation, now being written. All the information was extremely helpful and I was very excited by the response from everyone.

    In an effort to get myself moving on a theme I have what may look like a random question for you all (but it really isn't).

    How can you tell you're chatting with a girl? Any textual clues, phrases, avatar choices, etc. that "tip you off"?


    The question may sound strange, but I'd appreciate thoughtful and honest responses.

    Please help a struggling grad student.


    No way! Lol I've often mistaken men with women on here, only to find out later that they are not who I thought they were. You might have to follow their posts to get a hint maybe?
    Funny Bunny

  5. #5
    Rule of thumb: Till you get proof otherwise, just assume you are talking to a man.

    But more the the OP. Yes there can be subtle clues. Men and women to tend to form sentences differently. However, the big problem is the are not even close to 100%. Kind of like seeing a truck full of construction tools is probably a mans. Or a well tended flower garden was probably done by a woman. You are ultimately playing with probabilities. More men work in construction then women. Because of culture more women plant flower gardens then men. But, some men plant flower gardens. Some women work in construction. In the same way, certain phrases are more likely to be worded a certain way by women. But not always. A man raised by a single mother, with mostly female relatives around (sisters/aunts/etc) may form his phrases more like a woman. Or vis verse.

  6. #6
    The Insane Reeve's Avatar
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    I see. The question is whether the person you're chatting with is a woman, not whether or not you're chatting with a woman, and the context is not face to face. I was pretty unclear on that from the OP.

    Generally the clues I get that I'm talking to a woman are that she tells me so. That's pretty much it. There are lots of posters on this board that are female that I thought were male for quite a while, and there have been several posters talking about dating guys I thought were female until they posted otherwise. In other words, the only clues I feel are reliable are being told one thing or another. Even then, it's possible they're lying, but because I don't put any emotional investment into what gender I'm talking to on the internet, I don't really care.
    Well 1, 2, 3, take my hand and come with me
    Because you look so fine
    And I really wanna make you mine

  7. #7
    I appreciate the responses. But, perhaps I'll elaborate more on what I am looking for.

    For instance, this particular question came about because of a chat I saw in Trade where several people were discussing overuse of emoticons as a "red flag" that someone was a woman or, alternatively as some argued, a man pretending to be a woman and overcompensating.

    I thought this was just really interesting and I guess that's what I was trying to get at, the so-called "red flags".

    And at the risk of this being taken the wrong way, this is a largely feminist endeavor undertaken by a female, so I'm really not trying to SAY anything about the way women write or speak. I'm trying to find out how semantics are PERCEIVED.

  8. #8
    I wouldn't say the use of emoticons is suggestive of something only women do. Myself, and many other men on this forum and in wow use emoticons.

    Maybe men and women differ in the amount or type of emoticons used? I'm not sure.
    "Then we have found, as it seems, that the many beliefs of the many about what's fair and about the other things roll around somewhere between not-being and being purely and simply." - Plato: Republic

  9. #9
    Elemental Lord Snowraven's Avatar
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    There is no way you can guess unless they tell you or you see a picture (sometimes not even then).

    In WoW, I never said my gender, and in general didn't talk much about my real life. One day I found out half of my guild thought I was a guy and the other half that I was a lady. I never said I was either, I never tried to convince anyone I was a lady, but people thought that. I couldn't stop laughing when I told everyone I was a dude lol.

  10. #10
    if they tell me

    end

    everything else would be just guessing out of my own observations what i think a girl would be writing like... so yeah, still even if i get clues like "i like guys" wouldn´t tell me i´m talking to a girl, because there are gay people too and apparently they are able to write ^^
    secretly gay

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    Remember, a firearm homicide is not always firearm violence.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mayhem;
    And, firearm violence is not always a firearm homicide.

  11. #11
    1. You never will be able to be 100% sure
    2. You need more samples. Even tho a "hihi" (well thats german "giggle") suggests you are talking to a women, this alone doesnt hint enough.
    3. Not only the WAY your chatpartner speaks can give you hints, but as well the subjects you are talking about.
    4. Make your conclusion on BOTH, subjects talked about, and the way they are talked about.
    5. If you really need to know it for some reason you can implements distinct checks in your chat. Not saying it is good, but using the words "cunt" in some way in your communication without getting bashed instantly strongly points into the direction that you talk to a man.
    Or tell some bad anti-men joke. Men usually dont have a problem with beeing targeted by jokes, but they will hate BAD jokes about them and somewhat and probably react in some way you can determine. While women tend to applause every anti-emn joke no matter how bad it is.

    There can be quite strong hints like talking an hour about monster trucks, pimpimg your low-rider, and commenting a AFK break with "brb pissing", but even then you cant be sure enough to bet more than 10 bucks on it.

  12. #12
    Epic! Tokru's Avatar
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    I would say the excessive use of emoticons can be a sign. Not single ones like this though

    But making emoticons IN sentences multiple times is something I have only seen women (or rather girls) do.

  13. #13
    I don't think there is a 100% way to prove the person you are talking to is male or female. Most of the people I talk to assume I am male until told other wise or I use something like vent.

    You maybe can look at the style of posting:

    Is it passive or aggressive
    Use of different types of slang
    If flirty in what way (male - female)
    Use of emotes

    But like I said before it is not going to be 100% because some people may just have a gender neutral way of talking or they may be going out of their way to seem like they are of the opposite gender.

  14. #14
    I usually just assume man unless otherwise stated on here, although sometimes people have though I'm a chick because of my avatar, but everybody knows how hard it is to get a female Eevee so whatever.

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