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  1. #461
    Dreadlord Elapo's Avatar
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    I feel like this thread's title is wrong.

    "I personally can't think of a good reason to get married" Would be more appropriate.

    There's people that see a good reason to marry, and who are you to tell them there are none? If you don't want to, that's fine. But if there are people that feel there's a reason, be it love, lower taxes or w/e. YOU decide whether or not you think you have a good reason. And if you do, go for it.
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  2. #462
    Quote Originally Posted by Gamdwelf View Post
    No they aren't marriage has been around long before religions. Marriage does not go hand in hand with religion.
    No. What you mean to say that pairing existed before the concept of marriage. Birds pair too, yet they don't need to promote it through marriage.
    Modern gaming apologist: I once tasted diarrhea so shit is fine.

    "People who alter or destroy works of art and our cultural heritage for profit or as an excercise of power, are barbarians" - George Lucas 1988

  3. #463
    Quote Originally Posted by Wilian View Post
    No. What you mean to say that pairing existed before the concept of marriage.
    I guess their is no real arguing with you because you think that the bible invented marriage. I'm sorry but that is not the case.

  4. #464
    Quote Originally Posted by Gamdwelf View Post
    I guess their is no real arguing with you because you think that the bible invented marriage. I'm sorry but that is not the case.
    I never in any of my posts mentioned Bible. Only religion.

    Besides, with the output you've done in many of the valentine day threads I doubt you're the first person to go for replies that spawn out of experience.
    Modern gaming apologist: I once tasted diarrhea so shit is fine.

    "People who alter or destroy works of art and our cultural heritage for profit or as an excercise of power, are barbarians" - George Lucas 1988

  5. #465
    Quote Originally Posted by Wilian View Post
    Maybe in backwater countries where religious institutions are still allowed to meddle in legal matters.
    Like the backwater country that tells me that they know better when it comes to my own healthcare? Gotcha.

  6. #466
    Bloodsail Admiral Jaronicity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mihalik View Post
    If you were to actually read everything I said you would see that they are not mutually exclusive. BUT and this is a big BUT the names of the things are very very important sometimes. If you are willing to make the assertion that Marriage is a religous sacrament, then by extension you must also accept that the legal nature of a secular marriage is not the same. If it's not the same then by extension it does not enjoy the same benefits. You open all kinds of doors for all kinds of debates about names of things, their legal nature etc.

    Marriage being a non religious social contract is actually not an absurd assertion. If you are willing to consult ANY legal dictionary you will notice that Marriage by very definition is a civil contract.

    As I said before. I'm alright with having religions trough their sacraments give their blessing (endorsement) to the legal contract of Marriage. But MARRIAGE IS NOT A RELIGIOUS SACRAMENT!
    I haven't read the last 5 pages, but I just wanted to point out that it IS, in fact, a religious sacrament - at least, in the Catholic Church. It's one of seven that most Catholics go through in their life (others being Baptism, Reconciliation, Communion, Confirmation, Anointing of the Sick, and Ordination - should you choose that path instead of marriage).

    As for OP, reading through about 15 pages or so, I find it really amusing how bent out of shape everyone seems to get regarding others who want to/don't want to get married. If you're with someone who wants to get married and you do, too, then huzzah go for it. If you do, but they don't then you just have to consider if you really want to get married THAT much and, if you do, then perhaps that partner of yours isn't the right one for you. And if no one ever got married, who would bang the bridesmaids or friends of the brides at receptions! I'm at an age where my friends have slowly, but surely been getting engaged (one friend married two years ago) and I love going to weddings. It's a good time to hang with people in a nice suit, have a few drinks, and celebrate the hopefully good times ahead. I don't see myself getting married any time soon, however.

    Myself, I can see myself getting married if only to have a sweet-ass reception with my buds and my family and just have rockin' good time. Obviously, though, I'm not just marrying willy-nilly for the reception. Also maybe to shut my mother up and make her feel good haha....but we won't tell her that .

  7. #467
    We can talk about evolution and whatnot and how it means women benefit more from monogamy than men, but I'm sure you already know that.

    A lot of women are insecure (see above) about not being married. They think you are unwilling to commit and therefore will run out on them at any time. Which sounds like a possibility with you, since she is only one of 6.

    I'm not saying there's anything wrong with what you're doing. Sex is great, but at some point when you're older and don't want sex anymore (usually happens to older men/women) you might find yourself wishing you had someone. Not that that's any reason either.

    Just dump her if she's pushing for something you don't want. Not sure how you keep up 6 girls anyway. Maybe downsizing is a good idea . Cheers.
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  8. #468
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaronicity View Post
    I haven't read the last 5 pages, but I just wanted to point out that it IS, in fact, a religious sacrament - at least, in the Catholic Church. It's one of seven that most Catholics go through in their life (others being Baptism, Reconciliation, Communion, Confirmation, Anointing of the Sick, and Ordination - should you choose that path instead of marriage).
    Ordination OR marriage? What if you choose to be single and not become a priest/nun? Paul wrote that he felt called to be a single man and wrote about it in his New Testament works, for example.

    ---------- Post added 2013-02-18 at 01:57 PM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Varabently View Post
    We can talk about evolution and whatnot and how it means women benefit more from monogamy than men, but I'm sure you already know that.
    Actually a female biologist wrote a book a few years ago arguing that MEN benefit more from monogamy than women, because you as a woman want the most biologically fit father for your children, as well as help provide for your offspring. I can't remember the name of the book, but it was very convincing.

    At minimum I would argue that monogamy should "benefit" men and women equally. In today's society, and in a marriage relationship, it benefits men more than it does women now that women are expected to work outside of the home yet are still primary caregivers of offspring as well as do a majority of the housework ("second shift"); also studies have shown that it is MEN rather than women who are happier once married; women's happiness stays the same or actually declines (although both genders experience a decrease in happiness once children are born, which improves once they leave the house--seriously).
    Last edited by Celista; 2013-02-18 at 09:58 PM.

  9. #469
    Quote Originally Posted by Dydric View Post


    the reason I bring is up is because, I've been talking to this girl for a while (I also have 5 women on the side) and she's trying to judge me saying. every man should get married at some point in his life. this I feel is very judgmental and wrong, what do you all think? also she's bringing up the baby conversations, ridiculous.
    Is he serious? 5 women on the side?

  10. #470
    5 women on the side?? we believe every word you say buddy

  11. #471
    You're right, there is no point in getting married just to be married. Works the same way for enormous amount of things in life. Other then that - it's a commitment to the person you want to be together with, and you are clearly not ready for it. And the reasons are different for everyone.

    One thing that is good about it is the fact that you are not that much pressured to create a family by the society just for the status benefits. People are getting more open-minded in general and of course it affects the status of marriage.

  12. #472
    Scarab Lord xylophone's Avatar
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    Be careful you don't cut yourself on those edges OP.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wells View Post
    Lets say you have a two 3 inch lines. One is all red and the other is 48% red and 52% blue. Does that mean there's a 50-50 chance they're both red or is the second line matching the all red line by 48%?
    ^^^ Wells using an analogy

  13. #473
    Honestly, I think the biggest reason that divorce-rates are so high is because people have really become complacent. People don't believe in hard work anyways, and being a hard-worker isn't viewed as a positive, admirable quality anymore. People just want to go through the motions and have everything be awesome, all the time. They view abandonment as a valid option in marriage, rather than treating one another as actual family. As well, too many people get married WAY too young, before they have any idea what "love" really is. I can't say much, because I wasn't any wiser when I was younger, I simply learned it over time.

  14. #474
    Quote Originally Posted by Claymore View Post
    Honestly, I think the biggest reason that divorce-rates are so high is because people have really become complacent. People don't believe in hard work anyways, and being a hard-worker isn't viewed as a positive, admirable quality anymore. People just want to go through the motions and have everything be awesome, all the time. They view abandonment as a valid option in marriage, rather than treating one another as actual family. As well, too many people get married WAY too young, before they have any idea what "love" really is. I can't say much, because I wasn't any wiser when I was younger, I simply learned it over time.
    I think that the reasons for high divorce rates is more economic equality for women. There in no longer a social stigma associated with divorce.

    Studies have shown that people grow tired of one another at certain intervals. There is the so called 7 year itch. There are also more options. You can move find another job, transplant and remake yourself one hell of a lot easier than 100 years ago.

    Hard work, that's not the answer or its the answer to everything.

    Simply stated. Its easier. Sometimes much easier to get divorced. Absent children being involved, its almost always a good idea. Shocker, people who get divorced also get re-married. I mean it happens. More times than you know.

  15. #475
    Blademaster Laernis's Avatar
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    Personally, I think it is a sign of a couple's commitment and pride in that notion. And if one of them doesn't see the point of showing their affection to another in that way, it is centred on their preoccupation on the idea that marriage is nothing but a line which draws a close. And, under that respect, to 'settle down' and the slow down is to marry, whilst when experienced, the desire to marry is the sourced from a satisfaction with a person of your choosing.
    However, if you were suggesting that marriage has lost it's place in society, I think the act of formally uniting people is a form of creating structure in organised society, it takes on many names and forms in different cultures and periods of history. The title we relate to is that of marriage, and the family unit, units which are founded on the basis of visual ties, the marital bond being what substitutes the blood bond, and in affect, solidifies the grouping of units into a stronger partnership. The world maybe a chaotic place, but humans strive for structure, and how far we deviate from the titles which we declare to be anarchists to, we would chose it again and just rename it, all for the values of structure.
    If you are rejecting the act creating ties, you don't see any long-term aspects to this relationship alone, whilst she is seeking the security in a future within that mono-centre bond. You ought to tell her, that she alone can't satisfy you, and she deserves better. Problem solved.

  16. #476
    Quote Originally Posted by Celista View Post
    Actually a female biologist wrote a book a few years ago arguing that MEN benefit more from monogamy than women, because you as a woman want the most biologically fit father for your children, as well as help provide for your offspring. I can't remember the name of the book, but it was very convincing.
    http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/05/sc...t&emc=rss&_r=0

    Modern humans survived, because of the division of labor. Men are disadvantaged when it comes to reproduction so they used their excess time and energy to provide for their female. This agreement to share the responsibility for their mutual offspring is the begging of the concept of marriage. Knowing that the person next to you will be there till the end and won't just leave in the first sing of problems. Many people like security.
    Last edited by Cybran; 2013-02-19 at 09:27 AM.

  17. #477
    The Insane Didactic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cybran View Post
    http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/05/sc...t&emc=rss&_r=0

    Modern humans survived, because of the division of labor. Men are disadvantaged when it comes to reproduction so they used their excess time and energy to provide for their female. This agreement to share the responsibility for their mutual offspring is the begging of the concept of marriage. Knowing that the person next to you will be there till the end and won't just leave in the first sing of problems. Many people like security.
    Disadvantaged is a contentious term, given that men can propagate their genetics with far greater ease and with far less personal risk than women.
    Right, as the world goes, is only in question between equals in power, while the strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must.
    - Thucydides

    There is a modern myth that people have always tended towards democracy, constitutions, electoral rights; but in truth, love of freedom has never been the predominant note of popular politics. At most times, popular demand has been for a strong government.
    - Eugen Weber

  18. #478
    I'll never get married. There's no benefits to it, and you can have an as deep relation to someone without being married. There's just no point.

    I'd also not want to give up half my stuff that I've earned if a divorse happens.

  19. #479
    Quote Originally Posted by Didactic View Post
    Disadvantaged is a contentious term, given that men can propagate their genetics with far greater ease and with far less personal risk than women.
    The uterus is far more valuable than the penis. This is why we have "women and children first" while the males have to sacrifice themselves 10 out of 10 times. The female decides if she wants to mate or not. Lets for the sake of the argument imagine that male manages to get a female pregnant.

    What are the odds of such child surviving winter when his mother is pregnant and unable to find food? What are its chances of survival when she leaves it to look for food? What are it's chances of survival if his mother gets 3 cracked ribs and a broken pelvis while hunting a big animal with her tribe?

    It's in the interest of both parties to have a clear cut agreement for provision.
    Last edited by Cybran; 2013-02-19 at 09:38 AM.

  20. #480
    The Insane Didactic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cybran View Post
    The uterus is far more valuable than the penis. This is why we have "women and children first" while the males have to sacrifice themselves 10 out of 10 times. The female decides if she wants to mate or not. Lets for the sake of the argument imagine that male manages to get a female pregnant.

    What are the odds of such child surviving winter when his mother is pregnant and unable to find food? What are its chances of survival when she leaves it to look for food? What are it's chances of survival if his mother gets 3 cracked ribs and a broken pelvis while hunting a big animal with her tribe?

    It's in the interest of both parties to have a clear cut agreement for provision.
    Valuable to the reproductive process itself, yes, but in terms of the intent behind reproduction it is actually less advantageous because producing offspring requires the uterus to be occupied for nine months at a time.
    Right, as the world goes, is only in question between equals in power, while the strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must.
    - Thucydides

    There is a modern myth that people have always tended towards democracy, constitutions, electoral rights; but in truth, love of freedom has never been the predominant note of popular politics. At most times, popular demand has been for a strong government.
    - Eugen Weber

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