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  1. #1
    High Overlord
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    Another silly girl advice thread.

    Everytime I see a post on these forums about somebody who likes a girl or somebody who has been dumped by a girl and then they have come here asking for advice I always wonder to myself why of all places do these people come to MMO-Champion to ask these questions. But after the past two months of hell I have had I finally decided to seek some advice from the internet and honestly there is not alot of places you can goto and MMO-Champ is indeed a rather large group of like minded people so here it goes.

    I had this girlfriend, we were together for ten years. Not all of that was great, she cheated on me a couple of times and I dont know why but i couldn't not forgive her because she was my best friend. We did everything together, we loved the same things, we would watch entire TV shows back to back in bed together, I'm talking in bed for three days in a row watching every eppisode of the big bang theroy they had made up to that date. We would read the same books together at the same time, we loved the same music. I basically thought we would be together forever. We even played WoW together, went out and got a PC each, sat in the same room, leveled up to 70 together (TBC came out when we were about level 40) started a raiding guild together and had some pretty good sucess.

    Then four years ago we had a kid together, he was a boy and he died at birth. So we had to go thorugh all the shitty funeral together and my girlfriend was a complete mess. She tried to kill herself a couple of times but I was pretty strong for her and I helped pick her back up and took her to see a counciler and eventually she was ok. So after a time we had another kid together, a little girl. Her name is Chloe and she is 1 and a half now and I love her with all my heart just like my girlfriend.

    But over Christmas, on Boxing day no less she told me she didn't love me anymore and she wanted me to leave, we had a massive arguement and she said she just didn't want it anymore. I decided it would be better to leave that night because it was getting to loud and i didn't want to wake our daughter and for her to get upset so i went to stay with my mum.

    The next day I found out that she had been sleeping with one of my best friends for a couple of months and they decided they wanted to be together. I was absolutely heart broken and I dont really rememebr alot of what happened for about of week because i drank myself into oblivion. Then one day out of the blue she called me up crying her eyes out so I went over there to see her and make sure our daughter was ok. The guy had left her already after a couple of days. She was drinkinga lot so i said I would stay to help her look after our daughter. The first night she was so drunk she was laying with her head in my lap for like an hour talking to me as if i was the guy she had left me for. It was like she was hausinating and she thought she was talking to him but it was me and I just sort of sat there and put up with it.

    The next day we took our daughter out for the day and had a great time, we got back home and put her to bed and shared a bottle of wine, we ended up sleeping together and she apologised a load and said she wanted to try and make things work again. I said i wasn't sure and we should go see a couples therapist. I decided it would be better if i lived at my perants house for abit so we could both have abit of space.

    It was all going really well, We were having lots of fun together, I felt more in love with her then I had done in a long time and she said she felt the same way. Yet after about three weeks of this giving each other space, taking things slowly etc she called me up one day and told me she doesn't love me anymore and wanted to end it.

    Now it is almost 5 weeks later and every day is getting worse and worse. I am depressed, on antidepressants that make me feel even worse some how. I am have been signed off from work because my doctor doesn't think I am fit for it. my relationship with my daughter is strained because every secound i spend with her reminds me of everything I lost and how much I still love her Mum.

    My ex seems to be very happy, she goes out with guys alot and I have to stand by and watch all this happening because I cant cut her out of my life because of my daughter. I like have to see her maybe three times a week, I have to pretend i am ok being her friend for our daughters sake, so we even go out together once a week, take our daughter swimming that sort of thing. But the whole thing is killing me and I dont know how to let go of my feelings, I cant see any light at the end of the tunnel and the more time that goes by the worse it all becomes and i feel like its all closing in on me and this depression is going to kill me.

    TL: DR - Never fall in love.

  2. #2
    Banned Jayburner's Avatar
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    alarm bells are ringing about you.

  3. #3
    Best thing to do honestly in situations like this. I know its diffcult but it will destroy you if you let it. You have to move on from her. I know it's very painful. Have you ever seen that movie "Yes Man" with Jim Carry. It's about a guy who doesn't get a raise at work. His wife divorces him. He spends his night lonely watching movies and avoiding friends hoping that she will just return.

    There's a quote in movie. "You lost the love of you're life. Because she couldn't be with someone that couldn't live theirs" you have to snap yourself out of the rut or will destroy you mentally, emotionally. Don't take pills. Just go out and find another women. It leads to ..a dark path being corrupted with jealously and rage and nothing good will come of it.

    You have to live you're life and be happy. The more you ponder about this. The more it will destroy you. The more you wait by the phone or check her facebook. It's going to kill you inside. Surely I know it may be hard to imagine but there is someone out there that's better for you and its obviously not her. You wanted someone thats going to embrace you openly..not fight.

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  4. #4
    Warchief Viscoe's Avatar
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    If your anti-depressants aren't working, try a different kind. Talk to your doctor about it.

    Also, I'm so sorry. That's a terribly sad story. Unfortunately, the only advice I have is the above and: Don't let your kid suffer because of this!
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  5. #5
    Keyboard Turner Treedill's Avatar
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    I'm just sitting here feeling kinda heartbroken.
    I dont really have any good advice but I sure hope you somehow make it through!

  6. #6
    Banned Jayburner's Avatar
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    woman breaks up with man "he was a jerk" man breaks up with woman "she's pyschoooooo hellooooo"

  7. #7
    Sounds like you need to move on and get custody.

  8. #8
    Don't take the pills.
    Don't take her back anymore, no matter what.
    Do find a new woman.
    Do love and look after your daughter, no matter what.

  9. #9
    The first thing you have to do is make damn sure it's over for good. No matter what she says or does, no matter what your broken heart tells you to do, it has to be over. You have to be firm with yourself that it is no more. Put that chapter in your life behind you.

    As for your visitations, obviously your daughter is important, and that means contact with the ex. For that, be polite. Be cordial. But do not be her friend. She has had such an incredibly negative impact on your life (I think you realize that but don't totally want to admit it to yourself, correct me if I am wrong), that you do not need that in a friendship. You also do not need all those negative feelings in a friendship. Yeah, you have to see her. Accept that. See her, be polite, don't be her friend, enjoy your time with your daughter. Consider passing on those "you and her and your daughter" activities. You might think that's healthy for your daughter, but I don't think it is.

    Get out. Live your life. Don't give her the satisfaction of thinking she's controlling you (because that's what this has been about for a very long time - her manipulating and controlling your feelings).
    Last edited by Llunai; 2013-02-24 at 01:25 AM.

  10. #10
    Thanks for this story. Thanks for reminding us youngins that no matter how much you love someone, if someone's crazy, they're crazy. No matter how much you want to forgive someone after they cheat on you, it' s just going to happen again...
    My Cracked articles, writing blog, and Twitter.

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  11. #11
    get custody of the kid, the trying suicide thing will work in your favor. your life will be better if its just you and the kid and the possibility of a new woman

  12. #12
    Stood in the Fire zanexlol's Avatar
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    Get better meds. Avoid this chick and SSRI's - they're poison.
    Yes, we are an ape with a symbiotic relationship to a mushroom.

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by vizzle View Post
    Thanks for this story. Thanks for reminding us youngins that no matter how much you love someone, if someone's crazy, they're crazy. No matter how much you want to forgive someone after they cheat on you, it' s just going to happen again...
    This assessment sounds appropriate.

  14. #14
    Brewmaster Klingers's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry for what's happened to you, and I hope you can work out your romantic issues. Unfortunately I don't have much advice to give in that arena, but will echo one other thing some others have said:

    Get off the SSRIs. They're poison and mess with your head. I was on SSRIs for about 9 months back in 2010 and they almost destroyed me. I was like an uncaring zombie and it took me about 2 years just to pick up the pieces and shake off the brain fog.

    If these have been prescribed to you by a psychiatrist, think more strongly about seeing a psychologist. Psychiatrists will always try and solve mental health issues by primarily throwing drugs at them rather than talking through them and getting to the root-cause like a psychologist or a therapist will. (No, I'm not a Scientologist. Psychiatrists have their place as well.)

    Hope everything works out for you.
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  15. #15
    Keyboard Turner Treedill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by supertony51 View Post
    Look Neckbeards ill help you out but just this once.

    1. Shave! Most girls I know like a well groomed man, in fact every girl i know likes a well groomed man. You wanna gro a beard or some other facial hair, thats cool, but keep it well groomed.

    I think this was posted in the wrong thread or something? Or did I miss something?

  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Treedill View Post
    I think this was posted in the wrong thread or something? Or did I miss something?
    yeah wrong thread...whoops

  17. #17
    Actually, I thought I was going through a hard time. My ex left me like 3 months ago after 6 years together, though no kids or such.

    I just want to tell you, that you need to focus on what you have by now. Maybe you already thought that you forgot to think of what you had, when you were with her. But you still have a lot of amazing things in life, I'm sure about that. Remember to embrace what you have, and get a hobby that will carry your dark thoughts away. Go do some sports, have fun with your friends and talk with your family. It's also a good thing to allow yourself to be sad (to an extend). It's perfectly normal to be sad in your situation. And there's probably no short cuts through it, but there sure is a way.

    Keep up the happy thoughts

  18. #18
    Herald of the Titans sam86's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dingobongo View Post
    Don't take the pills.
    Don't take her back anymore, no matter what.
    Do find a new woman.
    Do love and look after your daughter, no matter what.
    Best short advice
    Follow it really
    The beginning of wisdom is the statement 'I do not know.' The person who cannot make that statement is one who will never learn anything. And I have prided myself on my ability to learn
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  19. #19
    I think it's really completely depressing when you hear stories about "oh we were together for 5+/10+ years and then poof". You'd think after all that time you'd know a person. Just makes a guy wary about relationships.
    My Cracked articles, writing blog, and Twitter.

    The problem with the internet is parallel to its greatest achievement: it has given the little man an outlet where he can be heard. Most of the time however, the little man is a little man because he is not worth hearing.

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  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by vizzle View Post
    I think it's really completely depressing when you hear stories about "oh we were together for 5+/10+ years and then poof". You'd think after all that time you'd know a person. Just makes a guy wary about relationships.
    Yep. Completely and utterly depressing. ;(

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