Everytime I see a post on these forums about somebody who likes a girl or somebody who has been dumped by a girl and then they have come here asking for advice I always wonder to myself why of all places do these people come to MMO-Champion to ask these questions. But after the past two months of hell I have had I finally decided to seek some advice from the internet and honestly there is not alot of places you can goto and MMO-Champ is indeed a rather large group of like minded people so here it goes.
I had this girlfriend, we were together for ten years. Not all of that was great, she cheated on me a couple of times and I dont know why but i couldn't not forgive her because she was my best friend. We did everything together, we loved the same things, we would watch entire TV shows back to back in bed together, I'm talking in bed for three days in a row watching every eppisode of the big bang theroy they had made up to that date. We would read the same books together at the same time, we loved the same music. I basically thought we would be together forever. We even played WoW together, went out and got a PC each, sat in the same room, leveled up to 70 together (TBC came out when we were about level 40) started a raiding guild together and had some pretty good sucess.
Then four years ago we had a kid together, he was a boy and he died at birth. So we had to go thorugh all the shitty funeral together and my girlfriend was a complete mess. She tried to kill herself a couple of times but I was pretty strong for her and I helped pick her back up and took her to see a counciler and eventually she was ok. So after a time we had another kid together, a little girl. Her name is Chloe and she is 1 and a half now and I love her with all my heart just like my girlfriend.
But over Christmas, on Boxing day no less she told me she didn't love me anymore and she wanted me to leave, we had a massive arguement and she said she just didn't want it anymore. I decided it would be better to leave that night because it was getting to loud and i didn't want to wake our daughter and for her to get upset so i went to stay with my mum.
The next day I found out that she had been sleeping with one of my best friends for a couple of months and they decided they wanted to be together. I was absolutely heart broken and I dont really rememebr alot of what happened for about of week because i drank myself into oblivion. Then one day out of the blue she called me up crying her eyes out so I went over there to see her and make sure our daughter was ok. The guy had left her already after a couple of days. She was drinkinga lot so i said I would stay to help her look after our daughter. The first night she was so drunk she was laying with her head in my lap for like an hour talking to me as if i was the guy she had left me for. It was like she was hausinating and she thought she was talking to him but it was me and I just sort of sat there and put up with it.
The next day we took our daughter out for the day and had a great time, we got back home and put her to bed and shared a bottle of wine, we ended up sleeping together and she apologised a load and said she wanted to try and make things work again. I said i wasn't sure and we should go see a couples therapist. I decided it would be better if i lived at my perants house for abit so we could both have abit of space.
It was all going really well, We were having lots of fun together, I felt more in love with her then I had done in a long time and she said she felt the same way. Yet after about three weeks of this giving each other space, taking things slowly etc she called me up one day and told me she doesn't love me anymore and wanted to end it.
Now it is almost 5 weeks later and every day is getting worse and worse. I am depressed, on antidepressants that make me feel even worse some how. I am have been signed off from work because my doctor doesn't think I am fit for it. my relationship with my daughter is strained because every secound i spend with her reminds me of everything I lost and how much I still love her Mum.
My ex seems to be very happy, she goes out with guys alot and I have to stand by and watch all this happening because I cant cut her out of my life because of my daughter. I like have to see her maybe three times a week, I have to pretend i am ok being her friend for our daughters sake, so we even go out together once a week, take our daughter swimming that sort of thing. But the whole thing is killing me and I dont know how to let go of my feelings, I cant see any light at the end of the tunnel and the more time that goes by the worse it all becomes and i feel like its all closing in on me and this depression is going to kill me.
TL: DR - Never fall in love.