Man, we need a board dedicated to relationship advice...
OT: I'm sorry bro : / look at it this way, my best relationship lasted 4 months and she only did it because I was the first one to ever ask her out...
I hear these stories daily from my brother.
"Beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy"
--- Benjamin Franklin
Jayburner -- Sargeras US --Quite possibly the world's greatest raid finder fury warrior. One time tank long time ago.
Why does everyone suggest finding a new woman?
Getting over your ex by starting a new relationship is a terrible idea! It's probably the worst thing you could possibly do. That doesn't mean you can't go out and have some fun with other women, but starting a new relationship is a simply a really bad idea. First you need to accept that it's over. She clearly isn't fit for a true relationship and certainly not you. You should accept that fact and you should accept that you are never going to be back together again and you need to get over her. It's easier said than done, and those things take time. Focus your love on your daughter, not your ex.
Oh, and stay away from the pills, pills usually makes things worse and feed self pity.
Well that story made me really sad.
The only advice I could give, based on experiences I've been through, cheating once almost always leads in to more. It's shown to me that they can't control themselves or stay loyal for the relationship they're in. I've had it happen to me in my past two relationships and grown to simply move on from people who do that. It's left a few trust issues for future relationships, but I'm getting over it.
They're thinking of the typical male urge to have rebound sex. Perhaps that would be helpful, but I don't think a new relationship would be. The OP needs to learn to live for himself (and for his daughter), excluding his ex as much as possible (physically and especially emotionally) from his life.
As far as being wary of relationships, it's typically due to the person in the poisonous relationship refusing to remove the rose colored glasses. Every time I come across one of these, all of the person's closest friends and family have already warned them and told them it was a bad or failed relationship, but the person will not accept it, rather believing that everyone else is wrong and that "this relationship" is different. Best advise to take if you are wary of getting into new relationships is to be vigilant on keeping an open mind and listening and following the advise of friends and family who love you.
hate to say it but she cheated on you several times, she is a dishonest cunt, my suggestion is go buy a sack of weed to help with the depression and sit on the sideline until she falls flat on her face a few times and either tries to come crawling back or you are in the position to take custody of the child.
If I were you however and she tried to come crawling back at any point I dunno, sounded like a pretty good relationship from your description other than the fact she cheated, I myself don't tolerate such shit and find it unforgivable.
A Dna test to see if the kid is actually yours would also be a smart idea, Either way quit feeling sorry for yourself because this girl doesn't deserve that kind of power over you.
don't drink, don't take pills, move past the pain.
tbh it sounds like you need counseling, there's nothing bad about having someone to talk to, since you can't talk to her anymore.
cherish your daughter, you gave your heart to her mother, and she to you, though she is gone now, you still give all that love to your daughter, she doesn't deserve not having a father because she has a @%#@^#$ as a mother
whether you find another woman or not, or decide never to have a woman again, your daughter needs a father
Last edited by Pendulous; 2013-02-24 at 05:33 AM.
Still I cry, tears like pouring rain, Innocent is my lurid pain.
Get a dna test on "your" child just to make sure, only contact her with regards to the child you love, apart from discussing the child and doing things for the well being of it, do not contact her or spend any time with her
The amount of times you took her back is staggering. I think you need to go to therapy there seems to be a lot of stuff you need to work out. No one here can help you more than a therapist can.
Aside from that, this is all being presented to your daughter as acceptable behaviour and I would be very worried about how her mother's behaviour is shaping the kind of woman she'll be. I'm not going to say "get full custody" because there are obviously some serious things wrong with you as well and I don't know if your daughter will be in any more of a stable environment than she is now.
Get help. REAL professional help.
LAWYER UP NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't stress this enough. Unmarried mothers are pretty much considered the prime holder of custody, and although it's sexist as hell, the law will hold her in favor regardless nless you have evidence of her suicide attempts/cheating. If there's any emails or ANYTHING of these events, SAVE THEM! You will NEED them. This women doesn't sound like a fit parent at all, and she's if she's vengeful you don't want her to have primary custody. Your daughter will grow up hating you if she's the type to put shit in her head.
Accept the fact she's destroyed your life aside from giving you a daughter.
Last edited by Chingylol; 2013-02-24 at 07:14 AM.
My 2 cents is to go nail some chicks. obviously this doesnt apply to you. this is more for alot of the misguided guys i see on these threads. i know people on this forum are "mature" but if you are 17-22 then wanting to get some pussy is normal. dont let people make you feel like your a scumbag or childish for wanting to go bang. thats COMPLETELY normal and natural and for the love of god go get good at it before you try to have a relationship. sex is a huge part of that and if you like a chick and you mess around and shes not into it you could lose her because you didnt know what to do. and if she breaks it off because you arent good at hooking up that doesnt mean shes a slut that means she wants a full and complete relationship.
I second the don't fall in love advice. I'm going through a rough patch as well. Don't go back to this girl. Keep it civil for the kid, but it's bad news.
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Figure out whatever your want to do with your own life. It could be something as silly as mmos or something other hobby from reading, to painting, to writing, to surfing.
I think it is okay...in a way to let someone get close enough to you so they can really hurt you. To close yourself up completely is to be among the walking dead. But by the same merit, you should never give anyone the opportunity to hurt you so bad twice. Just accept it and move on to better things.