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  1. #1

    Worst Guild Applications

    so I get a /w last night asking if we are recruiting a DK tank still, I inform the guy that we are and he needed to post an application on our website, sure enough a few hours later this showed up on our website:

    Name: ********
    Spec and stats : http://eu.wowarmory.com/character-sh...ong&n=********

    I am Gunnery Sergeant *******, your Senior Drill Instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir!" Do you maggots understand that?
    I r 12 and pwnz ?! + all your epics are belongz to us!

    Ventrilo: yes

    I guess you really dont care what i do or im into and you dont give a crap what my pets names are, so im not going to put it. You need to know im on most week nights 19:30 server time till about 01:00 server time. I work 1 weekend a month, so cant raid for 1 weekend out of 4.

    Thats your lot, if you want to talk msg me in game.

    If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training... you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day you are pukes! You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings! You are nothing but unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard, but I am fair! There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on n****, k****, w*** or g******. Here you are all equally worthless! And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps! Do you maggots understand that?


    Obviously he got denied, but i found it hilarious he expected to join with that app.
    Clearly one of the worst ive ever seen but im sure they are far far worse!
    Post Away!
    RIFT: Valakin lvl 60 rogue / Valakis lvl 60 mage - Zaviel EU, guild "Consortium"
    D3: 60 Barb, 60 Wiz, 60 WD

  2. #2
    The Insane det's Avatar
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    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    Well, this guy even had the cheek to apply twice, so here are the best bits:

    "Previous guilds/raidgroups - xxxxxx, got kicked because I was sleeping 2 times on raid

    What typically makes you stand out above other players -- I dont wan't to talk like miss world, but sometimes im funny, alweys lazy like hell, i'm good in that what im doing(healing, dps.) it's impossible to dont like me. (that was in short)

    Professions: 1 month ago i changed my professions but i didnt traind them. This is not most important thin' in game.

    My pre-paid has expired 23dec. and i stop playing until i will find raid group. It's hard a bit to get all enchants and gear. Gear and Professions are not that much important. Skill is most. My gear is not bad, i should have 25man gloves for elemental shaman but one f***er stole them (Long story)."



    I dare you to top this application^^



    Originally Posted by Blizzard Entertainment
    One cause is a cognitive bias called projection bias. Essentially living inside your own head your entire life makes it exceedingly difficult to understand how others do not also live your same life, think your same thoughts, and hold your same beliefs. In many cases it's quite frustrating to try to empathize and understand why you yourself may not be the center of the universe, which generally results in one 'acting out' in various ways.
    So, in short: the internet.

  3. #3

    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    I so want to link the entire thread but i will post his reply after some people did a few one-liners after his application.
    Druid that caused quite a stir on a my server, he applied to this guild then to us, but was well known to lots of us before hand for basically more of what is below

    For the Record, lets start off by saying i have Northrend Vanguard Achievement, which basically says i've Tanked every Heroic (Since i got all 4 Reps EXALTED.......), since after all thats my spec Tanking is Wink. also i have't got a clue why your so Retarded and backward but have you seen my gear? its Naxx gear, hence staff + Hence Trinket, therefore ive been there ive Tanked there, So Shut your Piehole on calling me unskillfull also i have 31700 unbuff HP in bear, 40% dodge. Armor also 29,000,

    i think with them Stats you can actually work with your Pea Sized Brains, infact..... that my gear is good enough, im almost full Epic also if you didnt Open your EYES, and i have no problem getting in other Guilds just as good as This Crappy Wanna be XXXXX Guild Wink .almost full Epic also if you didnt Open your EYES, and i have no problem getting in other Guilds just as good as This Crappy Wanna be XXXXX Guild Wink .

    1 more thing... Your a Bunch of Kids now get off computers and Run to ur Parents for a Bottle Change...

    Goodluck in Downing Arthas you PACK of Noobs and peacefully Rote in Hell. You Discrimate me i Discrimate you Back you Sacks of Shit.
    This thread continued for 8 pages going back and fore with more abuse thrown, he applied to us and resorted in more of the same. Then people in general started talking about it, and i think he server transferred in the end. The thing was that in the case of both guilds we were very polite to him and he replied by going totally emo at us.

  4. #4
    Bloodsail Admiral nevermore's Avatar
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    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    Quote Originally Posted by Telant
    This thread continued for 8 pages going back and fore with more abuse thrown, he applied to us and resorted in more of the same. Then people in general started talking about it, and i think he server transferred in the end. The thing was that in the case of both guilds we were very polite to him and he replied by going totally emo at us.

    If it makes you feel any better, people like him have serious issues in their real lives.
    And I'm not kidding.

  5. #5

    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    lol nerd rage at its finest ;D
    RIFT: Valakin lvl 60 rogue / Valakis lvl 60 mage - Zaviel EU, guild "Consortium"
    D3: 60 Barb, 60 Wiz, 60 WD

  6. #6

    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    are you on darkspear? and is the druid named steadfast? lol

  7. #7

    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    I had an application at the end of TBC from a Warlock IIRC,
    the app itself was pure work of art full dates, details, guilds He had been in everything, it was litterally the "Perfect" application
    But at the closing part of his app he mentioned his was into "ART" etc and posted a link to his "DeviantArt" blog/page.
    So I click the link to checkout this guys work and to my horror it contained numerous "Emo Style" pictures of him cutting himself and photographing it...
    One picture showed him holding up a notepad to to the camera with the words
    "kill me now" written in blood and clearly showing he had just self harmed to take the picture.... seriously WTF!
    I replied to his app to simply ask why he would want ppl to see that kinda thing when he was applying for a guild.
    He never replied he simply deleted his entire application lol.
    atleast now I know why he named his char "Razhir"
    RIFT: Valakin lvl 60 rogue / Valakis lvl 60 mage - Zaviel EU, guild "Consortium"
    D3: 60 Barb, 60 Wiz, 60 WD

  8. #8

    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    Quote Originally Posted by soniqboom
    so I get a /w last night asking if we are recruiting a DK tank still, I inform the guy that we are and he needed to post an application on our website, sure enough a few hours later this showed up on our website:

    Name: ********
    Spec and stats : http://eu.wowarmory.com/character-sh...ong&n=********

    I am Gunnery Sergeant *******, your Senior Drill Instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "Sir!" Do you maggots understand that?
    I r 12 and pwnz ?! + all your epics are belongz to us!

    Ventrilo: yes

    I guess you really dont care what i do or im into and you dont give a crap what my pets names are, so im not going to put it. You need to know im on most week nights 19:30 server time till about 01:00 server time. I work 1 weekend a month, so cant raid for 1 weekend out of 4.

    Thats your lot, if you want to talk msg me in game.

    If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training... you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day you are pukes! You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings! You are nothing but unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard, but I am fair! There is no racial bigotry here! I do not look down on n****, k****, w*** or g******. Here you are all equally worthless! And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps! Do you maggots understand that?


    Obviously he got denied, but i found it hilarious he expected to join with that app.
    Clearly one of the worst ive ever seen but im sure they are far far worse!
    Post Away!
    I would say your guild fails sir.

    The stuff he wrote there is a quote from a movie called "Full metal gear jacket" which is a damn old and awesome movie.

    The guy was being funny. Humour is a good thing.

    FROM NOW ON YOUR NAME IS PRIVATE SNOWBALL!

  9. #9

    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    That application is a copy from the movie Full metal jacket.
    the supporting actor got the oscar for his role in the film, which is that text.

    Great film.

    dont know if I can link a youtube to the film but I will try.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8Nf1...eature=related

    one of my favorite films actually.

    reg stgeorge

  10. #10

    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    Quote Originally Posted by b``
    The stuff he wrote there is a quote from a movie called "Full metal gear jacket" which is a damn old and awesome movie.
    I fail to see how that makes it even remotely suitable for a guild application.

  11. #11

    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    Can someone find that application of, what I believe, was a Russian wow-player who's father worked in a mine, etc etc?
    That was hilarious!

    Edit:
    Google \o/
    http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/th...65609617&sid=1

  12. #12

    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    Quote Originally Posted by Bergenia
    I fail to see how that makes it even remotely suitable for a guild application.
    I fail to see how it makes it even remotely suitable for a thread called "Worst Guild Applications."

  13. #13

    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    lol yes i DO know that his App contains scripts from the FMJ movie, Its one of my favourite war movies tbh, but posting it in a guild application especially containing the racist remarks is a very poor attempt at humour lol, myself and my guild laughed so hard at this app we can only assume the guy was not serious about joining, or was he......
    RIFT: Valakin lvl 60 rogue / Valakis lvl 60 mage - Zaviel EU, guild "Consortium"
    D3: 60 Barb, 60 Wiz, 60 WD

  14. #14

    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    Colonel: Marine, what is that button on your body armor?
    Private Joker: A peace symbol, sir.
    Colonel: Where'd you get it?
    Private Joker: I don't remember, sir.
    Colonel: What is that you've got written on your helmet?
    Private Joker: "Born to Kill", sir.
    Colonel: You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?
    Private Joker: No, sir.
    Colonel: You'd better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant shit on you.
    Private Joker: Yes, sir.
    Colonel: Now answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man.
    Private Joker: I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.
    Colonel: The what?
    Private Joker: The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.
    Colonel: Whose side are you on, son?
    Private Joker: Our side, sir.
    Colonel: Don't you love your country?
    Private Joker: Yes, sir.
    Colonel: Then how about getting with the program? Why don't you jump on the team and come on in for the big win?
    Private Joker: Yes, sir.
    Colonel: Son, all I've ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It's a hardball world, son. We've gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.
    Private Joker: Aye-aye, sir.

  15. #15

    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    Quote Originally Posted by Olison Schmolison
    Can someone find that application of, what I believe, was a Russian wow-player who's father worked in a mine, etc etc?
    That was hilarious!

    Edit:
    Google \o/
    http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/th...65609617&sid=1
    hahah yeah i remember reading that application a while back, that app is nothing short of legendary ;D
    RIFT: Valakin lvl 60 rogue / Valakis lvl 60 mage - Zaviel EU, guild "Consortium"
    D3: 60 Barb, 60 Wiz, 60 WD

  16. #16

    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    Quote Originally Posted by b``
    I would say your guild fails sir.

    The stuff he wrote there is a quote from a movie called "Full metal gear jacket" which is a damn old and awesome movie.

    The guy was being funny. Humour is a good thing.

    FROM NOW ON YOUR NAME IS PRIVATE SNOWBALL!
    It's Full Metal Jacket, an old Stanly Kubrick film.

    Anyway. One of the best I ever read wasn't from my guild, but caused quite a stir.

    http://www.imagicstudios.net/geraard...art%20One.html

    Is the actual ensuing thread of the guy getting gkicked. His app is also included in there a few pages in which is hillarious.

  17. #17

    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    Quote Originally Posted by Offhand
    Anyway. One of the best I ever read wasn't from my guild, but caused quite a stir.

    http://www.imagicstudios.net/geraard...art%20One.html
    The domain seems to have been captured by domain grabbers

  18. #18

    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    Quote Originally Posted by Olison Schmolison
    Can someone find that application of, what I believe, was a Russian wow-player who's father worked in a mine, etc etc?
    That was hilarious!

    Edit:
    Google \o/
    http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/th...65609617&sid=1
    hahahah!

    It's another one with a russian guy.. He had applied to a guild, and someone from his old guild replied on the new guilds forum.. He asked him why he dc'ed the day before.. Then he comes up with this sick story about some burglars who broke in to his house, and he killed both of them, and now theres blood on the ground.. If someone could find this, I would be very grateful

  19. #19

    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    Quote Originally Posted by Olison Schmolison
    Can someone find that application of, what I believe, was a Russian wow-player who's father worked in a mine, etc etc?
    That was hilarious!

    Edit:
    Google \o/
    http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/th...65609617&sid=1
    Oh my god. This is so awesome ahahahahaha xD

    I love this part:
    How is your life and how are you doing? I was start mine after two year.
    Do you disconnect a lot? Only when is father drawing the computer string. After mine time =)
    If yes, do you know why? Father is drawing computer string!
    How many FPS do you have in Shattrath? I no play FPS.
    Normal play times: When father is mine. 05:00-17:00 (Minsk time.)

    Former guilds: I was join MoX but need item better.
    Why are you no longer in these guilds? I needed item better!

    Is the account you are using originally yours? Account was of my brother but die in mine acsident, so I account =)
    Do you share the account with someone? 1 brother.
    Who else are able to access the account? Brother.
    What is the password to your account? Slovitzka
    What is the secret question and answer to your account? Slovitzka zé wryko?


    You and PvE
    How often can you raid? When father mine. (All day 05:00-17:00.)
    How often will you raid? When father mine. (All day 05:00-17:00.)
    Will you sign up for farm raids? Yes.
    Will you sign up for progress raids? If I need item.
    What do you do at weekends? Play WOW when father is mine, also eat with father and many brother after father get from mine.
    I posted in the legendary "I found Yogg-Saron" thread and all I got was this lousy signature.

  20. #20
    The Hedgehog Elementium's Avatar
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    MA, USA.
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    Re: Worst Guild Applications

    Now what would be an example of a good guild application?

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