How to get over a relationship after being cheated on?

[Catta]

It was a joke, but I also weigh 18 stone, few poles will take that weight on it.

How many stone to a boulder?

[Lily Crowley]

Remind yourself that it isn't you. Its him that is a worthless piece of shit. Take up that pole-dancing if you want to, no one can (or should) stop you!
Do fun stuff with friends, get your mind off him.

But, whenever you are reminded off him, try not to be sad, conjure forth ANGER instead. In time it'll heal.

I also second that you should throw away everything that reminds you of him. I did so with my ex's stuff, only I burned it all and dug a hole in the ground and buried it there. Aaah the symbology felt so good and I was born anew.

[Brydie]

Lol Lily that is great. Shit thing is we used to play wow together (only a couple of weeks before our break up we actually joined separate guilds), so that reminds me of him. So quitting wow and finding a new game I think!

[Windfury]

Once a cheat always a cheat, be happy that it happened now before it was too late/difficult to get out of!

People have given good advice, but I'll also add that you should cut off contact until you heal. Just tell him you want space if he's trying to talk to you. Defriend him on facebook etc and don't e-stalk him or whatever. Clean breaks heal fastest.

Also, since you're in Sydney and thinking about doing acrobaticy fitness stuff I'm going to pimp out Aerialize (http://www.aerialize.com.au/), I've done a few of their short courses when I've been in Sydney visiting family, and they've always been fabulous and were a great way to meet people.

[Brydie]

I admit I was estalking for a few days, he removed me fro facebook/real I'd which made me mad, as I should have had the right to do that first. But I doubt he will try contact me unless this weekend didn't turn out for him lol (the girl he was seeing actually had 2 other guys going from Sydney to see her for this whole week lol)

[Windfury]

I admit I was estalking for a few days, he removed me fro facebook/real I'd which made me mad, as I should have had the right to do that first. But I doubt he will try contact me unless this weekend didn't turn out for him lol (the girl he was seeing actually had 2 other guys going from Sydney to see her for this whole week lol)

That sounds like it's going to end well for him. Seriously, you've dodged a bullet. It's going to suck for a bit, and it's so awfully trite to say it but coping and giving it time is the best thing. Keep busy.

And it's normal to want to check up etc, everyone does it, but it's better to resist if you can.

[TheNationGamer]

Lol Lily that is great. Shit thing is we used to play wow together (only a couple of weeks before our break up we actually joined separate guilds), so that reminds me of him. So quitting wow and finding a new game I think!

Me wants your stuffs

but really..don't quit because of him it only shows your avoiding the situation...throw his stuff away and move on...the best revenge is showing you don't care and you moved on

[K i s u]

Trust is going to be an issue for a long while, at least it was for me.. eventually you should be able to find someone you think is worth the risk and open up to them. Only speaking from my personal experience but keep some hope alive and realize it's really his loss and as others have said to keep your mind off him start burying your attention and focus into things that make you happy or things you've always wanted to try and he opposed to even if some of those things remind you of him make some new memories.

[Brydie]

I guess you're right about that I shouldn't quit. I'll see how I feel once I get back home.

[Toffie]

Just be happy you got rid of him early on. The moment you find someone else is the moment is your gonna forget him, atleast for me.

[Buxton McGraff]

Think of it like this. There's one person out there for everybody. Right now you're heading towards that person, and one way or another you WILL find him/her. Everybody that cheats on you, screws you over, or just doesn't work out, is just one more obstacle you've passed on the way to your future mate. It sucks to be cheated on, but it's nice to know that you wont be wasting any more time with them.

[Asphyxiate9]

Lol Lily that is great. Shit thing is we used to play wow together (only a couple of weeks before our break up we actually joined separate guilds), so that reminds me of him. So quitting wow and finding a new game I think!

i quit wow for 14 months because it reminded me of my ex also and i was somewhat worried I would bump into her

nothing wrong with doing it but if you don't i recommend a realm transfer or something. frostmourne alliance is pretty good for us oceanic people

[Moon-Man]

...maybe that guy really is better off with the other girl.

Try it yourself, before you judge other people on pole dancing.

Until then, crawl back to your momma's basement please.

[Dervrak]

My advice would be to take your time, don't try to rush into another relationship until you are ready. Time is the only cure for a broken heart.

My first and worst breakup was with my high school sweetheart, we started dating in Junior high and were a couple all through High School, after we graduated we got engaged and were attending the local community college together. To make a long story short, I discovered that not only was she cheating on me, she was cheating on me with my best friend and been for quite a while. So not only did I lose my first true love who I had planned to spend my life with, in the same day I lost my best pal who had been like a brother to me since Kindergarten. My life as I had known it was quite literally shaken to it's core. First was shock, then anger and sadness. I really didn't even have any desire to date for over a year and I can't really say I "got over her" until several years later, it took me a long time before I could trust or open up in a relationship.

[Shoekron]

It's not an easy thing. 18 months of attachment, shared plans, private laughs. These things are hard to move away from.

Don't rush it, but don't cling either. Moving on is a process and allow it to run its course; do not rush it or stall it. It'll be very hard to shake for awhile.

Ignore most of the advice here and try not to hate too much. He drove you away, yes, but there's a reason you were attracted to him as well. People are people. Don't rush to judgment.

[sugarlily]

Well no chance I'll ever become a stripper lol. That's what also worries me, not being able to trust again.

*comfort *hugs :)

You'll go through several phases of loss but you'll come through it knowing better. You'll be able to spot dickheaded dickfaces quicker & learn to trust your instincts & gut feelings in an improved way.

But for sure, do not make the next one(s) pay a debt they don't owe. Don't allow some assface to change you into the girl who trusts no one & sees a cheater in every single guy.

Just don't let this ex have any control over your future thought processes regarding relationships but DO learn from any mistakes you made or excess bullshit you accepted or ignoring your gut instincts & that little red flag.

You'll be alright! Go along slowly & stay out of anything deep & serious until you feel more like yourself again. You don't need a guy or relationship to define you or to know that you're lovable & worthwhile :)

I wish you the best! Here is my usual sign-off for stuff like this~

Always remember this~ it is the list I live by ~ it'll help you too! <3
1.) Never date anyone you wouldn't have as a best friend.
2.) Tolerated behavior doesn't change.
3.) We teach people how to treat us.
4.) We get what we settle for.

and P.S., ignore the trolls ^^

[420rogue]

Foriegn chic, plays wow, pole dancing...where were you when i was single?

[Splenda]

You'll be okay. Time heals all wounds, and all that.

I was with a guy for nearly 5 years, it was long distance and I waited 3 years for him to move out of his parent's place so I could go friggin be with him. He then decided he wanted some other girl, dumped me, and THEN moved out.

Meanwhile we fought like cats and dogs, and he made me feel awful way more than he made me happy. Turns out his dumping me for someone else was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. No, really. Another guy immediately expressed interest in me and let me take control of how fast things went. I decided I liked him and wanted to give him a shot.

Trust is so hard to build up when you just had it destroyed by someone. It took me a couple months, but now I understand that my new guy is not the same as my old guy. We fight...well extremely rarely, and we both go through great lengths to get each other to smile. This relationship is much, much happier. Even if it was really hard to remember how to trust again.

You can do it. Not all guys/girls are the same, someone worthy of you will find you and fully appreciate what they have. Don't let yourself lose hope or faith in your fellow humans, there's good people out there.

And above all, remember that it wasn't your fault. It was his. He's a tool, that's all there is to it.

I suggest spending a LOT of time with friends. I buried myself in friends after I got dumped and it was very therapeutic and made me feel better. Which you said you are doing, so keep at it! Stay busy, don't spend too much time alone, don't let him get to you. He doesn't even deserve your attention through hate. Not worth it.

[Hooked]

Date one of the people he knows, that will fix him.

[Osmeric]

He is scum. He would have ruined your life. You are doing well to be rid of him.

Find some guy (or gal!) to have a short term rebound affair with, with the understanding that it will only be short term. You want to overwrite those brain circuits that still connect you to him.