Why do people suddenly disappear...?

[Tomec]

WARNING! Little bit of a rant I need to get off my chest incoming!


So a little back story to this. I'm talking to several people through text/email/skype/etc. None are people I know that well, not really even acquaintances but rather just random people I've gotten together with however for whatever reason. People who we both hope/want to be acquaintances, friends, and maybe even more.

However, it seems like all the time people just suddenly disappear without warning or saying a word. And I don't mean like their net connection goes out or they fall asleep or something. I mean like we're talking, things are "going good", it's bedtime or plans come up so we're like "talk to you tomorrow." only tomorrow becomes 2 days. 3 days. A week. And I never see them online or they don't respond to me.

I get the hint and remove them from my friend list and stuff. But it's like is it really hard to just take a minute to say "sorry but I'm not interested in getting to know you better"? I'd like to think it isn't and makes you look much better as a person. Granted online it's not like it's a big deal or someone is watching over your shoulder, but I find that often times our personas online and on the phone and stuff are close to how we behave in person... and to me that is like if someone comes up to you, you start chatting, but then stop replying in the middle of them talking to you! Can you say awkward?


Ok I feel a little better now. Still though, is it that hard and it doesn't leave the other person feeling all mad and stuff.

[Pendulous]

I don't give specific dates when referring to chats online. Things come up. It's a casual thing. Unless you plan on dating someone you talk to, just leave it be. Chat with em when they're around.

[chrisberb]

It's just easier to drop communication than it is to give someone bad/upsetting news.

[obdigore]

Vampires got them.

[Tomec]

It's just easier to drop communication than it is to give someone bad/upsetting news.

But why do you think that? That's what I'm trying to figure out. I mean couldn't one argue that is better than not knowing?

I don't give specific dates when referring to chats online. Things come up. It's a casual thing. Unless you plan on dating someone you talk to, just leave it be. Chat with em when they're around.

Yea true, and I do that a bit. But it's slightly annoying when it seems like 2/3 of the people (whether you want to date them or not) just disappear and are never around anymore

[Pendulous]

Yea true, and I do that a bit. But it's slightly annoying when it seems like 2/3 of the people (whether you want to date them or not) just disappear and are never around anymore

I guess I just don't get connected enough to people online to care. They'll be around, eventually.

[Tomec]

I guess I just don't get connected enough to people online to care. They'll be around, eventually.

That makes sense. Everyone has a different personality after all. I guess mine is more "proper" (if you will) and I just consider it kind of rude. Though maybe that isn't all that "proper" in a sense lol. But as the saying goes (or I believe it goes) treat others how you want to be treated yourself.

[Deleted]

Maybe you're clingy and annoying(bubbly), basically an extrovert? These are my rules for "friends" on the internet.

- Don't involve or inform me about anything happening in your personal life.
- Don't attempt to small talk with me just for the sake of conversation.
- Do not EVER have an emotional outbreak on me for any reason at all, justifiable or not.
- Don't expect me to care about you or do stuff with you all the time.

Doing any of the 4 things above will annoy me to no end and I will terminate whatever it is you thought we had.
This is not a commitment and it is not a relationship. We are two people enjoying a game/conversation/whatever together, that's it.

Just follow these social rules and you'll have a healthy long-lasting partnership with someone on the internet. Simple, isn't it?

[Dezerte]

It must have been aliens, as the crazy-hairstyle-dude would say.

[Mr Anderson]

I'm tempted to link that Meme with Giorgio A. Tsokalos saying "Aliens".

[Deleted]

[...]

This pretty much. And also I can tell you from personal experience: Most people tend to NOT accept it, if you tell them to keep a distance or that you are NOT interested. I already had many personal cases when it was not accepted after I told them politely not to try and drag me in a relationship I didn't want. It always got ugly and awkward afterwards.

Besides, chatting online is not a job. Some of these aforementioned people even got awkward if I was away only for some hours, while doing real life stuff, like working or university. I had to explain myself and they tried to make me feel bad about not being there all day long for their personal amusement. The kind of ideas some people get online is ridiculous. So the more they tried to force me and the more they applied pressure to me, the more I withdrew myself, because I was annoyed to no end.

So simply cutting ties and dropping connection was in fact easier and more successful. I might not want to do it like that, but it's happening out of necessity and people not accepting the truth.

[Deleted]

Maybe you're clingy and annoying(bubbly), basically an extrovert? These are my rules for "friends" on the internet.

- Don't involve or inform me about anything happening in your personal life.
- Don't attempt to small talk with me just for the sake of conversation.
- Do not EVER have an emotional outbreak on me for any reason at all, justifiable or not.
- Don't expect me to care about you or do stuff with you all the time.

Doing any of the 4 things above will annoy me to no end and I will terminate whatever it is you thought we had.
This is not a commitment and it is not a relationship. We are two people enjoying a game/conversation/whatever together, that's it.

Just follow these social rules and you'll have a healthy long-lasting partnership with someone on the internet. Simple, isn't it?

This..... read this brilliant post again.... and Dont make such a big dea lout of yourself.... you're probably some random guy we play games with.. not my new best friend or anything even close! so please suck it up and find new ppl to stalk...

[Sorrior]

It's just easier to drop communication than it is to give someone bad/upsetting news.

I see it as easier to give news myself...That way they either know not to talk to you anymore or that you just can;t talk.

[Åmbulance]

I was fully expecting this to be an Alien abduction theory.

[Sorrior]

I was fully expecting this to be an Alien abduction theory.

I kinda was as well LOL..But been dealing with this a bit myself lately LOL.

[haxartus]

I have people in my Skype contact list that I've added like 7 years ago, chatted with them for 5 minutes and then forgot about them completely. It's impossible to keep track of so many random people.

[Åmbulance]

I kinda was as well LOL..But been dealing with this a bit myself lately LOL.

Seeing you live in Alaska, my guess would be Grizzly Bears

[Sam the Wiser]

I've found it's better not to get to attached to people online or expect a fist full of disappointment.

[Gheld]

I'm guilty as charged. I'll start a friendship/courtship etc, with people and then just suddenly wake up one day and be completely bored of them. So I just stop saying anything, eventually they don't feel compelled to start a conversation either and I guess I "disappear" from their lives.

[IronArms]

I think you might be taking it a little too serious. I completely understand what you're referring to. Some people just have others that they particularly like to stick to and hang out with a lot whether it be in real life or online or even both. Most of the time they just have no need/want to log on. I have plenty of friends that I've made on Xbox Live playing games with them, even some that are still there since 2007. I only spoke to them once or twice, and haven't since. Eventually they just never log on anymore, there are a lot of people that have inconsistency with their life and things change quickly for them. So I wouldn't take it so seriously...