Why would this girl do this?

[Levitt]

Hey all,

So here's my brief story. We've got Girl A - I'll call her Sarah. I've known Sarah for 6 or 7 years and we've been good friends. Never really felt anything romantically for her, but started developing feelings for her a few months ago. We've gotten drunk at parties and made out a few times, but nothing more serious than that.

About a week ago, we are talking and I tell her that I have feelings for her and don't think I can be just friends with her (or anyone I'm that attracted to). She, with different words, implies that she'll always love me as a friend but the romantic feelings aren't mutual. She continued on to say things like "I'm not sure what I'm looking for", etc.; but I'm a man, I can deal with that. I still stood by what I said when I couldn't really be friends with someone I was so attracted to despite us being friends for so long beforehand and let her know that I'd need some time to figure out where we stand.

So there's a dating site that I've been signed up on for quite some time (Honestly, I just use the thing to "Thumbs Up" or "Thumbs Down" girls while I'm taking a ****), and Sarah came up as an option to "Thumbs Up" or "Thumbs Down" (Or like / dislike, can't recall). The system works where, if two people both Thumbs Up each other, it initiates a chat between the two of you where you can get to know each other. So I thumbs her up (why not). About an hour later, I get a notification that she Thumb's up'd me, too and it opens a chat. The first thing she says is "Hey handsome, fancy meeting you here, haha"

Now, this was the first time we'd talked since I was honest about my feelings, and that's how she starts it. Why would she do that? I have some small talk with her, then she starts texting me and talking like nothing had changed. Normal "friend" stuff. We end up texting back and forth for the rest of the day, and during the conversation she said "I'm going out of town for a week, but lets get together when I get back. It's been too long since I've seen you."

I really don't know how to read this. Any insight is much appreciated. I feel like she's just toying with me.

[obdigore]

She wants to be your friend. You are reading into stuff that isn't there. She isn't interested, move on.

[IRunSoFarAway]

I feel that you are her "gay best friend" or something of this nature, ask what she wants to do when she gets back, if she says shopping, then your fate is sealed.

[Deleted]

We can't get into her head...

Either, she missed you as a friend and is desperately trying to get that back
or losing you as a friend / having more time to think about it has led her to believe that maybe you can be more than friends and she wants to pursue that possibility.

You're going to have to ask her. She could be toying with you but considering you guys have been friends for 6-7 years, I seriously doubt her intention is to mislead, confuse or hurt you... she's probably just really confused herself. You're going to have to sit her down when she gets back from her vacation and really work it out, just be frank and ask her what you've asked us.

[Mavecryst]

Yup, she's just trying to keep things casual and friendly so it doesn't feel awkward. You are making it potentially awkward. Stop, and if you really wanna be friends, just get some distance till you no longer feel like it's a thing.

[Levitt]

Yup, she's just trying to keep things casual and friendly so it doesn't feel awkward. You are making it potentially awkward. Stop, and if you really wanna be friends, just get some distance till you no longer feel like it's a thing.

Oh, I mean, don't get me wrong - I can play the part of friend fine. I kept text conversations light and fun, not really pushing too hard for any agenda. I figured she just wanted things back to "normal", but women are weird and who knows if this is just one of those twisted tests they like to give men to see if they really are interested in them.

[Deleted]

She wants to be friends again.

[Whidbey]

Been there done that with a girl I was deeply in love with for years.. She never felt the way I did and still tried to be in love with me and have a relationship and all it ended up doing was ruining our friendship and I ended up hurt. Shes acting like nothing has changed because it hasn't for her. She is not in love with you or interested. She misses a close friend is all and she already told you her intentions. So either settle for platonic friendship or move along.

[Wikko]

She doesnt want the D

[bohapjut]

She doesnt want the D

She does want the D

[Deleted]

We can't get into her head...

Either, she missed you as a friend and is desperately trying to get that back
or losing you as a friend / having more time to think about it has led her to believe that maybe you can be more than friends and she wants to pursue that possibility.

You're going to have to ask her. She could be toying with you but considering you guys have been friends for 6-7 years, I seriously doubt her intention is to mislead, confuse or hurt you... she's probably just really confused herself. You're going to have to sit her down when she gets back from her vacation and really work it out, just be frank and ask her what you've asked us.

That is how me and my gf got together. I liked her, feeling wasn't mutual, we had a fight, a few months later she said she realised she missed me more than "just a friend would", and the rest is history.

By that i would have to say give it a shot, but don't get your hopes up to much, its just easier that way if it doesn't work out.

[Levitt]

That is how me and my gf got together. I liked her, feeling wasn't mutual, we had a fight, a few months later she said she realised she missed me more than "just a friend would", and the rest is history.

By that i would have to say give it a shot, but don't get your hopes up to much, its just easier that way if it doesn't work out.

You're a lucky man. I just can't imagine that, after what I've said, a girl would still want to be friends after I made it clear that I couldn't be friends with someone I was attracted to.

[Deleted]

there is a good point at the end of this video also it's funny!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DN4GKxEZ4JA

[Deleted]

She is being dishonest and doesn't tell you the real reason. Dishonest people make me sick.

[Deleted]

She is being dishonest and doesn't tell you the real reason. Dishonest people make me sick.

She said she doesn't feel the same, why that is is none of his business if she doesn't wanna say it. She was honest enough to tell him straight out it's not mutual.

[Slant]

You're a lucky man. I just can't imagine that, after what I've said, a girl would still want to be friends after I made it clear that I couldn't be friends with someone I was attracted to.

Seems she doesn't take you seriously and hopes it's just your dick talking. Which usually ends up being alright, cos even your dick calms down after a while. If, however, it has anothing to do with your dick, as it seems to be the case here, she'll eventually have to face the facts. And that's when you may come to a fight with her about what friendship means, what love means for each of you and how you define your relationship.

On the other hand, she may just have an empty head and not think this much at all ever in her life. Wouldn't be the first princess that has never faced anything opposing her will in life. Good luck, mate. Start looking for alternatives, though. Sometimes it's easier to just walk away.

[Levitt]

Seems she doesn't take you seriously and hopes it's just your dick talking. Which usually ends up being alright, cos even your dick calms down after a while. If, however, it has anothing to do with your dick, as it seems to be the case here, she'll eventually have to face the facts. And that's when you may come to a fight with her about what friendship means, what love means for each of you and how you define your relationship.

On the other hand, she may just have an empty head and not think this much at all ever in her life. Wouldn't be the first princess that has never faced anything opposing her will in life. Good luck, mate. Start looking for alternatives, though. Sometimes it's easier to just walk away.

Probably going to just avoid her and move on. Not worth my time chasing something that won't happen.

[Deleted]

1. For her nothing has changed. She stills values your friendship. You are assuming that just because your perspective changes, that her does too...
2. If you really were serious about not getting romantically involved with someone who does not reciprocate the feelings, why the heck would you go anywhere near her on a dating site?!

The fact she still wants *any* kind of relationship with you at all, especially given the way you changed it, can only be a good thing, even if it will never be more than what it is now. There are many other benefits to being a friend. You can help her, she can help you. She has friends after all. She knows the kind of person you are and what you like. If she was willing to fool with you once, who knows maybe you could even be FB's but having a potential BFF in time is good too.

Summary: you are reading way too much into this. Tip for life: do not burn your bridges with people you have known, ever, especially these days with social media.

[Durotar Thug]

Just whip it out bro, it works every time dude.

[hawtlol]

Are you talking about both "Thumbs Upping" each other on http://www.bangwithfriends.com/ ? If so then he fully wants the D.