Well, she's gone.

[Mojibake]

Thank you all for your responses, feel free to continue, thought I will not read much more tonight as its 3am. I responded to most of you and I think I have a fair understanding of what I should do. I have a few of her friends on my side who may be able to give me a clearer insight, but I do agree it is largely out of my hands whether or not she will come back to me. I will at least attempt to maintain a friendship after events simmer down and perhaps she and I can talk it out in a better way, whether the presentation did, in fact, affect her in the way I described. Some of you were supremely helpful and offered meaningful words and to those people, I am grateful. Maybe I can come back to this thread soon and give a bit of an update if things change. People seem to like resolution. Farewell, friends.

[Deleted]

Believe it or not, some (probably most) girls aren't the type you have described.

This is not a matter of type. She may call it something different, but it is freedom what she wants.
And you can guess what that freedom eventually means after meeting someone new.
Sorry to ruin your ideas

[Deleted]

Shit happens. You're not the first, and not the last person to whom this happened.

[Melanieshaman]

3 years... that's a rough..I know all about that. My wife of 13 years left me 2 months ago. So I am kinda in the same boat... asking for advice on how to get over the pain and betrayal after 13 years..time... time will heal those wounds.

Really not much to say... my "wound" from my own failed marriage is still quite open, but i am trying to move on.

[Deleted]

Thank you all for your responses, feel free to continue, thought I will not read much more tonight as its 3am. I responded to most of you and I think I have a fair understanding of what I should do. I have a few of her friends on my side who may be able to give me a clearer insight, but I do agree it is largely out of my hands whether or not she will come back to me. I will at least attempt to maintain a friendship after events simmer down and perhaps she and I can talk it out in a better way, whether the presentation did, in fact, affect her in the way I described. Some of you were supremely helpful and offered meaningful words and to those people, I am grateful. Maybe I can come back to this thread soon and give a bit of an update if things change. People seem to like resolution. Farewell, friends.

NO NO NO. You are doing it wrong. DO NOT talk to her friends asking for explanation, closure. DO NOT talk to her asking why.
There is never any "clearer insight". You will only keep strunging along. The only thing you need to know is that she dumped you.
STOP worrying about the damn presentation, its just an excuse ...

You seriously need to go No Contact, or you will immensely prolong the time needed to heal.
Then you will pass up an amazing girl while still being emotionally unavailable.

This is all you need to know:
http://www.loveshack.org/forums/brea...-guide-updated

[oplawlz]

I lost interest at "the age of 19"

She did you a huge favor man, go find some new and exciting booty to tap. You have the rest of your life to be chained to someone who doesn't appreciate you.

[Mojibake]

I am very sorry to say this, but it seems like she was just an idiot. And I am sorry to say that. It sounds to me like the presentation planted some silly idea in her head that you were abusive, perhaps the phrase "forced into sex" was mentioned and she felt that that was the case. Is she on some kind of birth control? Birth control can affect every woman differently. If you read the leaflets that come with tablets, implanon, injections and so on, it will tell you that it can cause and increase in her sex drive, but on the other hand, it can also cause a decrease, sometimes to the point that the sex drive just doesn't seem to exist. This could be the case with her, so it's not necessarily a case of her not finding you attractive.
But the fact that she also said it was because you couldn't drive at 19 (I'm 22, my boyfriend is 23, neither of us can or want to drive. The bus is perfectly acceptable), it just seems a shallow and ridiculous reason, that, I feel, she only added because she knew that her argument wasn't all that strong. I do that sometimes, if I'm arguing with my boyfriend, I do the girl thing and bring up all kinds of unrelevant things, because they're also annoying me and it's a good time to get it out. We're angry at eachother anyway! :P

I'm sorry it's happened, but it sounds like she's easily manipulated. If you two don't end up back together then she'll probably find the same "situation" with the next guy. Men are notoriously more sexual than women. I think it's just the way they're wired up, but I'd never go as far as to say that it's all men think about.

Give her some time to cool off. If she really loves you, and is really worth your time, then she'll realise her mistake and how stupid she's been. But whatever happens, try your hardest not to pine after her. That won't do you any good at all. Try to move on and find someone else.

---------- Post added 2013-05-07 at 07:56 AM ----------



Here here.

Just read it after my last post, and I can definitely see where you are coming from. The only reason I thought that was because it seemed so out of the blue to me and coincided perfectly. Especially considering when we first started being intimate, I couldn't get her off me. Of course the sex life simmered down a lot, but we both usually have quite the sex drive. As for the quote, (Im too tired/lazy to respond to the original), that is also why I suspected the presentation. Her mannerisms and mood changed quite a bit when she started questioning our relationship. By all means, I am not discounting my downfalls, but It is a bit suspicious to me. I have flaws and faults and I did things that I probably should not have done, but everyone makes mistakes. It just depends on who makes more mistakes; you or the next guy.

---------- Post added 2013-05-07 at 07:04 AM ----------

I lost interest at "the age of 19"

She did you a huge favor man, go find some new and exciting booty to tap. You have the rest of your life to be chained to someone who doesn't appreciate you.

I had sex once for pleasure. It didn't give me much satisfaction.

[Stelio Kontos]

I lost interest at "the age of 19"

She did you a huge favor man, go find some new and exciting booty to tap. You have the rest of your life to be chained to someone who doesn't appreciate you.

I wish someone had been there to tell me that. Gave my ex from 23 to 30. Now I'm 31 and feeling like I lost so much time and opportunity to meet other girls.

[TheNationGamer]

Glad i 'fell' in love at a young age..because never again will i trust another women in a relationship

[draganid]

meh, girls are pretty stupid tbh. dont get too worked up over it. once you realize the only thing a girl can give you a gay guy or a transexual cant is kids, you'll be much happier. it was pretty liberating for me to realize i didnt need to put up with women and their shitty attitudes to fuck someone or go on dates.

[TheNationGamer]

I had sex once for pleasure. It didn't give me much satisfaction.

you might be gay or a small willy nilly

[oplawlz]

I wish someone had been there to tell me that. Gave my ex from 23 to 30. Now I'm 31 and feeling like I lost so much time and opportunity to meet other girls.

Right?

I was being a big dramatic and overstating things, because it's the internet, but really no one should be in a serious relationship at 19. You have no idea what you want in life yet, and neither does she. Go out, live life, experience some crazy things, then come back to serious romance after 25. You will not regret it.

[Melanieshaman]

Right?

I was being a big dramatic and overstating things, because it's the internet, but really no one should be in a serious relationship at 19. You have no idea what you want in life yet, and neither does she. Go out, live life, experience some crazy things, then come back to serious romance after 25. You will not regret it.

Bolded statement is VERY true. I met a girl as I was getting ready to graduate high school, and go off to college in the fall. We got super serious over the summer, kept in constant contact while i was gone, and being in this new, exciting relationship took my attention OFF of school. We were together for 7 years (the last 2 or so was totally loveless). I say date, and have fun til 30. That way you most likely won't have as much of a wandering eye, and be more settled into life. Stability, and maturity really help make decisions on who, and what type of person you may want to marry.

[F-Minus]

Basically ...(I often see her only once a month)...

First of sorry to hear your story,

Secondly, she gave you a hint there, she loves you but she doesn't know why, well maybe that "once a month" ... as in, I see you so seldom, I don't even know who you are anymore. That and the age, is your problem. People in your age are impatient, I know I was, even today, I can't think of how my relationship would work, if I'd see my partner only once or even couple times a month - relationships just don't work that way for long.

Don't bother with that sex thing and the drivers license, could be listed under "annoyances" in her diary nothing more. That said, as many have, you got your whole life ahead of you to find the perfect match.

[Stelio Kontos]

Bolded statement is VERY true. I met a girl as I was getting ready to graduate high school, and go off to college in the fall. We got super serious over the summer, kept in constant contact while i was gone, and being in this new, exciting relationship took my attention OFF of school. We were together for 7 years (the last 2 or so was totally loveless). I say date, and have fun til 30. That way you most likely won't have as much of a wandering eye, and be more settled into life. Stability, and maturity really help make decisions on who, and what type of person you may want to marry.

Agree 100%, or end up a 30+ yr old trying to make up for lost time :P

[skatblast]

The Great White Buffalo, every man has one in his lifetime.

Mine broke up with me about a year ago now, it sucks but eventually you will get over it, just keep your head held high and try as hard as possible to move on with you life. Girls hearts are a neverending mystery that cant be solved. They say men are cruel and cold blooded but woman can tear a mans heart into obvlion, especially if you trust them. Mine was my best friend throughout middle and highschool, but in the end it didn't matter she chose to do malicious things that were unthinkable to me. Just be glad that after the breakup she isnt rubbing her new boyfriend or whatever in your face. Maybe someday in the future you can get back together only time will ever tell, she might get with another guy who treats her like shit and then will want to go back to you, unfortunately for me she already got pregnant when she knew all the wrongs that she did... there was no turning back. There is still hope for you friend just seek faith.

Delete her from your facebook, delete her from your life until you dont feel anything when you think about her or else it will get worse.

[The One Percent]

Dr. Dre said it best.

[Deleted]

I don't know why, but I've never been in love. I've had girlfriends but never really truly loved them.. Sucks...

[F-Minus]

Bolded statement is VERY true. I met a girl as I was getting ready to graduate high school, and go off to college in the fall. We got super serious over the summer, kept in constant contact while i was gone, and being in this new, exciting relationship took my attention OFF of school. We were together for 7 years (the last 2 or so was totally loveless). I say date, and have fun til 30. That way you most likely won't have as much of a wandering eye, and be more settled into life. Stability, and maturity really help make decisions on who, and what type of person you may want to marry.

It's not true at all.

You never know what develops when two persons meet. Even if you start dating at age 15, it could very well develop into a serious relationship that will last for the next 50 years. You just don't jump head over into something you are not ready to do. Dating and serious relationship is all fine and dandy, but you need to keep a cool head regarding other things, moving together, marriage, kids, funds and s are things that need a good amount of planing & thinking over and you have a lot of time for that, so keep that at the back and you can still have a serious, lovely & amazing relationship even at a young age, and as said, who knows it might last forever.

Sure you experiment, you do one night stands and short-term relationships, but when love hits you really have no arsenal to put against it, it just happens and then you don't care about any other women/men anymore even if you want to - and that can happen any time, you can't plan for that. What develops out of that is the question, maybe it lasts, maybe it don't, that why you don't commit to serious things listed above until you both think it's time and your secured with both feet int he society and even then it can end on a whim, we're all just human.

But fighting against love is just stupid, date whoever you want, whenever you want and for how long you want, just think smart about the steps you take in a relationship, if you can afford them or not.

[anyaka21]

not trying to offend here, but sex if unwanted is essentially emotional abuse. She could have left due to that because of the seminar where she realized that's what you are putting her through. Best advice, start learning to deal with your issues because ultimately you will only be a better person for it.