As a guild master, raid leader and main tank of a raiding team I thought I'd share a little non-ret perspective.
First off, from a PVE point of view, you'll want to note that there are a hell of a lot of 10 man guilds compared with 25 man guilds out there. I did read some statistics a few months back (can not find the source!) that suggested there were something like 28,000 10 man "progressive" raiding guilds out there, and 2000 25 man guilds. The guild I lead is itself a 10 man raiding guild. However, what I look for when I'm recruiting, isn't always how high classes are on the damage meters - I do pick out a number of the infamous top DPS classes (lock, rogue, mage) but everything after that is utility and raid buffs. Here comes part of your problem as ret: you're currently underpowered (UP! YEAH!) when compared to other DPS specs, but at the same time, you'll find it hard to find a 10 man raid team who doesn't want a protection paladin and holy paladin in the team. Your bits of utility then become less important since the prot and holy are bringing a all the hands we need, two dev auras and what not. Then there's trying to balance the number of people after each piece of tier gear - in a team where a prot pala, disc priest, holy priest and warlock are highly favored, with some guilds then also opting for a second warlock or a shadow priest, you're quickly approaching half of your raid team on the same tier token, which, from experience so far, appears to drop less often than the other two (purely based on experience in my own raids - anybody else having the same experience?). You then want to look at the gear that you want. You end up (as a guild master) in this situation where you can either bring the ret pala, who would be rolling on pretty much the same gear as the prot pala, and who also brings very little extra to the raid, or find yourself a fury warrior who brings all the banners and needs slightly different stats on his/her plate.
The result is that your problem is not only that ret is currently weak, but also because prot is OP and needs the same gear. If I thought that my prot warrior was better for my raid than my prot pala is, my first point of call would be to immediately switch to my warrior, and find a ret as, having a ret + holy I'd still have the utility that I had before, and little need to alter our guild strats, which are often based around BoP solo tanking.
As a guild master and raid leader, and as a paladin tank, I think ret needs buffing and prot needs nerfing, as that would make it feel less mandatory to take a prot pala to 10 mans. I absolutely adore playing my ret offspec, and would love to allow our fury warrior to try his prot offspec sometime so that I can raid offspec for a bit. Alas, the way the two specs are at the moment, I do believe it would seriously hurt my raids to do so.
I have not played PVP since back in vanilla, and that was as a derp pom pyro fire mage, so I really can not comment on PVP.