View Poll Results: Your opinion

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  • believe when they say "I'm clean"

    29 22.83%
  • want both to be tested

    39 30.71%
  • it depends on the person

    50 39.37%
  • other?

    9 7.09%
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  1. #1
    Herald of the Titans Hargalaten's Avatar
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    Do you get tested first or take his or her word for it?

    When you get into a relationship and you're at the point you're going to have sex with your partner, do you want both of you to get tested first or do you ask the person if he/she is clean and that'll be enough?

    I myself would get tested first before doing so, you can't see what they have on the outside and the person might not know they have something either.
    I don't see it as not trusting the partner but rather precaution.
    What about you?

  2. #2
    Honestly, I'm not sure. I've not been in the situation where I've needed to ask, or felt as though I've needed to.

    Logically speaking you absolutely should get tested, both of you, but logic isn't always in control in relationships. As you say though, it's not about a lack of trust; it's about being appropriately cautious. STDs don't automatically mean slut, after all; all it takes is one silly mistake, or maybe not even that. These diseases have to start somewhere; they don't just magically poof into existence when two 'clean' people have sex.

    As for what I would personally do... I suppose I'd ask if I had reason to be wary. I think if you approach the topic in the right manner ('I think we should both get tested, just in case' rather than 'could you get tested before we have sex?'), it shouldn't be an issue.

    But yeah: logic isn't in control.

  3. #3
    she was a virgin. i only had 1 partner. we did discus it but didnt feel a need for it. 5 years later no problems.
    There is really no reason to get mad in a discussion. Unless u dont understand basic logic then rage away

  4. #4
    Herald of the Titans Hargalaten's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kisho View Post
    Honestly, I'm not sure. I've not been in the situation where I've needed to ask, or felt as though I've needed to.

    Logically speaking you absolutely should get tested, both of you, but logic isn't always in control in relationships. As you say though, it's not about a lack of trust; it's about being appropriately cautious. STDs don't automatically mean slut, after all; all it takes is one silly mistake, or maybe not even that. These diseases have to start somewhere; they don't just magically poof into existence when two 'clean' people have sex.

    As for what I would personally do... I suppose I'd ask if I had reason to be wary. I think if you approach the topic in the right manner ('I think we should both get tested, just in case' rather than 'could you get tested before we have sex?'), it shouldn't be an issue.

    But yeah: logic isn't in control.
    I agree, I don't feel like people should really feel insulted when it's brought up. Though, it's like you said, it should be brought up in the right way.

  5. #5
    Moderator chazus's Avatar
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    I like to think that anyone I have sex with, I know well enough beforehand to either A) Know or B) Trust them well enough to say so.

    Of course, I'm starting to get to that age where I'm likely going to end up at the doctor often enough to just be like "Sure, tack that on while we're at it, why not"
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  6. #6
    You mean without a condom? I would get tested and expect them to do the same if I was at a point in a relationship where we weren't using a condom.

    I always have, and always will, wrap my tool if I don't know the person well enough to trust them in such a life-changing circumstance.

  7. #7
    I am Murloc! Tiili's Avatar
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    Both tested, go with condom until tested. I don't understand those who feel insulted when I've demanded they use a condom if there's gonna be anything, there's been quite a lot that gotten pissed at me for it, well, not in a relationship but otherwise. I've managed to stay free from STDs due to that, I don't even wanna think of what it could be like with the amount of men I been with if I didn't demand a condom from their side..

    Would never let anyone go without condom unless I'm 100% they're free from STDs.
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  8. #8
    Herald of the Titans Hargalaten's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by obdigore View Post
    You mean without a condom? I would get tested and expect them to do the same if I was at a point in a relationship where we weren't using a condom.

    I always have, and always will, wrap my tool if I don't know the person well enough to trust them in such a life-changing circumstance.
    Yeah without a condom, I'm curious how much people would take trust over secuirity. You don't always have to get something ofcourse but is it a risk worth taking?

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Tiing View Post
    Yeah without a condom, I'm curious how much people would take trust over secuirity. You don't always have to get something ofcourse but is it a risk worth taking?
    THat is a personal value. I mean if they said they did and were clean I would believe them, but again if I were at a point in the relationship where I wasn't going to wrap up there would be a foundation of trust there.

  10. #10
    Herald of the Titans Hargalaten's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by obdigore View Post
    THat is a personal value. I mean if they said they did and were clean I would believe them, but again if I were at a point in the relationship where I wasn't going to wrap up there would be a foundation of trust there.
    Do you mean if they said they already got tested? I would believe the person too. But if they never tested themselves before and just said they were clean, I would prefer them to do it anyway, the both of us that is.

  11. #11
    Moderator chazus's Avatar
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    I'm curious how much people would take trust over secuirity.
    Honestly, for quite a number of years now, I've known anyone I was intimate with for years beforehand, so... I guess I take trust over security?

    Of course, the whole condom thing is a different discussion entirely when you're talking about things other than STD's. Men simply assume that women are on birth control when they aren't. THAT I would not leave up to trust. That can be a simple question, no tests involved. I was a bit more uhh.. Carefree? In my younger days? I am utterly surprised there isn't another one or two of me running around >___________>
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  12. #12
    The Lightbringer Whitey's Avatar
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    Rubber until tested. I used to work in a field where I had to get tested regularly when I was younger, so I sort of got used to it. As much as a man can get used to doctors shoving a stick up the urinary track. Besides, at the point where the rubber comes off, one should be in a steady relationship already, and by then it shouldn't be much to ask for to get tested.
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  13. #13
    You can never take a person's word for it that they have no STDs. Most people with chlamydia don't even know they have it, and unless they've been tested for STDs they can't be 100% certain. Ultimately it boils down to trust and your own personal judgement.

  14. #14
    Elemental Lord Hyve's Avatar
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    Only ever been with my misses, and the she has only ever been with me.

    That said, best practise would be to use a condom until you're 100% sure both of you are clean of all issues.

  15. #15
    It really depends on the person. Condoms are the only birth control I use, so it would only be relevant for me if a long-term boyfriend wanted to skip them. I would want to know how sure he is that his previous sex partners were clean at the time, but if he's not sure, I would demand a test. I'm pretty sure he would understand, and I would do the same in return. I'm not going to risk losing my fertility just because he's too proud to get tested :P

  16. #16
    The Lightbringer Whitey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zindai View Post
    I'm not going to risk losing my fertility just because he's too proud to get tested :P
    This is what most people don't get, that some STDs (chlamydia at least, not sure if others) can leave you permanently infertile.
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  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Tiing View Post
    Yeah without a condom, I'm curious how much people would take trust over secuirity. You don't always have to get something ofcourse but is it a risk worth taking?
    How many issues in the world would disappear if everyone decided to use condoms all the time?

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Hyve View Post
    Only ever been with my misses, and the she has only ever been with me.
    Not to cast aspersions on your partner in particular, but no man can know such a thing for certain. This is where trust and judgement come in to play.

  19. #19
    Pandaren Monk Of-the-horde's Avatar
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    Either use protection or would want both to get tested. Better safe than sorry.

  20. #20
    Warchief gutnbrg's Avatar
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    If you are at the point that you are going to have unprotected sex, I would imagine you have already performed oral sex on eachother, at which point its too late for a test bc ur already infected thru ur mouth...

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