Views on punnishment for a child

[Trunksee]

So this past year me and my wife had our first child. Now that she just turned one it got me to thinking about disciplining her. Was wondering about everyones views. I am a firm believer in strong parents. Parents who when a kid does something wrong they know they are in for it. I like the idea of a minute in timeout per age while the child is calm. If they get up time restarts. I also believe in physical punishment for certain things. I see nothi.g wrong with a slap on the behind hand or light smack on the mouth if your kid bites. I love the idea if a kid acts up in a store the put everything down and we are going to the car. The fear in a kids eyes when they hear that is priceless as they just figured out "Oh crap, shouldnt have done that."

What do other people think?
The only parenting i really cant stand are the do nothing parents who think their kid is their own individual and let the run wild. I would love to smack some sense into those people.

[Deleted]

Nothing wrong with slapping a child on the arse, as long as it knows why they deserved it. When it gets older it is better to use other punishments though, one thing you must always do is keep your promises when threatening, no letting them off or out early.

[Shennanigans]

I have an eight year old we have used time outs since she was about 2 which have remained effective. I've never used any form of physical disciple it's just not for me and I certainly wouldn't ever hit anyone in the face no matter how light it was.

[Pull My Finger]

I love the idea if a kid acts up in a store the put everything down and we are going to the car. The fear in a kids eyes when they hear that is priceless as they just figured out "Oh crap, shouldnt have done that."

Joke post identified.

[Speaknoevil]

Yes, teaching children that violence is an acceptable response to something they don't like is good parenting.

[Raptor With a Saber]

Timeouts,spanking,slapping the hands,taking away toys,corner timeout,no tv... I went nuts with my sisters kids because she doesn't discipline them. Now whenever i see them they instantly go into straighten arrow mode and listen to me as if i were their parent.

[Deleted]

Timeouts,spanking,slapping the hands,taking away toys,corner timeout,no tv... I went nuts with my sisters kids because she doesn't discipline them. Now whenever i see them they instantly go into straighten arrow mode and listen to me as if i were their parent.

There is a difference between discipline and hitting someone.

[Flaks]

I have an eight year old we have used time outs since she was about 2 which have remained effective. I've never used any form of physical disciple it's just not for me and I certainly wouldn't ever hit anyone in the face no matter how light it was.

While I only ever had experience on the receiving end, I personally feel like it's less about your own preference for punishment and more on how the child is wired. My brother was a rowdy one and was appropriately punished while for me a little scolding with no time outs or smack on the bottom would do just as much.

[Deleted]

It really depends on the parents leadership capabilities, believe it or not. Some people have innate authoritarian feel to how they carry themselves, and as such people it's much easier to discipline without any physical contact. I'm not against a spanking, even if I wouldn't use it myself, but a slap on the mouth is too much. Oh and @naftc, it's straight and narrow

[Deleted]

Seriously? Hitting children? That's weak and abominable, violence will only create more violence. Sure parent's should set up good limits and teach their child what is good and wrong, but to smack a child is just wrong in my opinion, (in Sweden it's illegal to cause any kind of harm to a child). The ones who don't get a so good life, both career and social conditions in adulthood, are often the ones who got hit by their parents or lived under other bad circumstances.

Judging from what OP said I don't think he is suited for having a child, if he enjoys seeing fear in a child's eyes and wants "to smack sense into those people". I think OP need to get some sense in his mind.

[LilSaihah]

You have to be really, really careful with corporal punishment. Eventually their pain resistance will just go up and they'll be all like "DO WHATEVER YOU WANT I'M FUCKIN INVINCIBLE" and then you're like "welp shit" because you immediately went to the big guns and now you have nothing else you can put on them.

[NoRest4Wicked]

It really depends on the parents leadership capabilities, believe it or not. Some people have innate authoritarian feel to how they carry themselves, and as such people it's much easier to discipline without any physical contact. I'm not against a spanking, even if I wouldn't use it myself, but a slap on the mouth is too much. Oh and @naftc, it's straight and narrow

I have always heard it as "Straight as an arrow", which is an idiom http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/...ht+as+an+arrow.

My father was like that, he was a very intimidating man and never had to do more than stare at me threateningly to get me in line. He never hit me, but him saying "You are a disappointment" crushed me more then any hit would have.

[Bearshield]

Your child just turned one and you're already looking for reasons to spank them? Spanking, imo, should be an absolute last resort and never on the face. And children ARE individuals, what works with one won't necessarily work with another. The important thing is as a parent to set rules and boundaries and stick to them.

My daughter is almost 8, at this age the most effective punishments seem to be taking something away. An hour without tv, a day without video games, not getting to go to a friend's house. As someone else stated, time out still works most of the time as well and allows us to cool off as well as her. She's at an age now where she's quite good at back-talking and arguing, but she knows to mind her manners outside of the house which is the most important thing to me. She has chores and responsibilities around the house as well which earns her an allowance to spend as she pleases. If she breaks something or wastes something, she understands she will use her money to replace it. (i.e. the punishment fits the crime) For example, the other day I got her a new kind of soap which apparently smelled so nice, that she decided to spray half the bottle around her bath tub just to enjoy it. A few days later, she got to replace that bottle with her own money. So a lesson was taught and no spanking or yelling was required.

[Deleted]

The way I see it, the most important thing you can teach a child is to learn from his/her mistakes, but whats even more important, you should allow them to make mistakes. After a mistake is made, you should be there to comfort them and point out what they did wrong and how they can learn from it.

Teaching them to think for themselves is also important, along with teaching them how to think logicly.

[Trunksee]

Joke post identified.

Actually its not. I cant tell you how many times my mom did that to me between the ages of four and ten. My mom hit me with whatever was in her hand. I was mature enough to understand i got hit for a reason. I was a disciplined resposible kid because of it.

[Deleted]

Actually its not. I cant tell you how many times my mom did that to me between the ages of four and ten. My mom hit me with whatever was in her hand. I was mature enough to understand i got hit for a reason. I was a disciplined resposible kid because of it.

It works on young children if they know why they are being spanked, on older children it is a recipe for disaster though.

[Forgettable]

The way I see it, the most important thing you can teach a child is to learn from his/her mistakes, but whats even more important, you should allow them to make mistakes. After a mistake is made, you should be there to comfort them and point out what they did wrong and how they can learn from it.

Teaching them to think for themselves is also important, along with teaching them how to think logicly.

Pretty much this. And what someone said before, how you discipline the child should depend on the child - Everyone is different, so different discipline is needed based on what the child is like. And as others have said, I would never hit a child in the face, no matter what they did.

And to the guy saying kids who are hit turn out poor and end up with bad lives, that's just misinformation. My parents spanked me good and hard, and I learned to respect them. I went to college and have been working a good job for 2 years that pays $22/hour now.

[Deleted]

Timeouts,spanking,slapping the hands,taking away toys,corner timeout,no tv... I went nuts with my sisters kids because she doesn't discipline them. Now whenever i see them they instantly go into straighten arrow mode and listen to me as if i were their parent.

Discipline is important, but drilling kids is just wrong

[scelero]

http://www.youtube.com/user/stefbot/videos?query=parent

Seriously watch some of this guy. I will give you what I took most from him is that when we punish our children we are essentially throwing up our hands and giving up on communicating with our children. It may stem from how we were raised but it's something we must break away from as parents today. Do not spank your children, EVER.

THERE IS NO ACCEPTABLE REASON FOR A CHILD TO BE HIT. It's not a maturity thing, it's a LACK OF COMMUNICATION skill problem. The parent that hits is saying to themselves and their child, 'I've tried a few ways to get through to you and instead of learning how to effectively communicate with you on the level you need in life and teach you that so you can have meaningful relationships in the future, I'm just going to say you're not worth it and just hit you.'

Anyone who thinks hitting a CHILD whom if they were 18 years old you'd go to jail on, fuck you. Seriously, fuck you. If you can't do it to an adult, WHY THE FUCK would you do it to your own child!?!?! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU.

Oh, because you don't know how to communicate with your child. Really?

[Rakash]

Whatever you do. Do not turn to physical punishment.
My father did that a lot and by the end it turn really bad.
I haven't talked to him in over a year and i probaly won't in a very long time.

Get him to feel guilty instead. Get him to feel like he did something bad emotionally instead.