I Hate High School Relationships - Vent/Help Thread

[Sal the Shieldhog]

Right.

I feel the need to vent/seek help, since my only 3 best friends are either out of state at the moment, or involved in this.

This all started about January of this year. Me and my good buddy are seniors, just doing our thing (track, school play, prom planning, class officers, etc - We're both pretty involved guys hahah). During play practices, we both get really close with a few people, and my buddy ends up having a flirtationship (that might have/might not have gone anywhere) with another girl in the play. I'm excited for him, as his parents are pretty much religious nuts and he doesn't get the chance to date much (which is why he's involved in so much - stay out of the house and all that), and he ends up with his first kiss out of it (pretty big deal for him).

Well, he also ends up liking this other girl that's in other things (student council, yearbook club, etc). Long story short, he decides between them to ask to go to prom and takes the girl that's not in the play. This other girl still kind of likes him still and her being a junior (our prom is a shared one), she got to go to prom by herself and see all this go down (buddy ended up kissing the other girl, etc, etc).

This all happened about a month and a half/a month ago (Prom).

So me and Musical Girl are still kinda of friends. I've seen she's kind of "down in the dumps" lately, since my buddy and his new girl have started that "sort of" dating stage and all, so I've been trying to cheer her up, walking home with her, chatting, generally just trying to keep her mind off it. We've both gotten closer to each other, since we've both got more free time (track season is over for me, friends all have girlfriends, etc). I've started to crush on her a bit, and I think she has on me as well.

Which is a problem.

I kind of feel bad, since pretty much the entire thing is my fault. I told my friend to "go for it," etc, being a good bro, that sort of thing. So, what happened to her is sort of my fault (which is part of the reason I started talking to her more), and I'm not certain how said-friend would be if I started seriously taking to this girl.

I just feel like this is one whole gigantic mess... She's a really cool girl and we get along really well, but I don't know if I could potentially start another really big mess by doing this or not. I don't know what to do >.<

[Henako]

This isn't a gigantic mess, it's high school. He chose the other girl. He doesn't get to be upset if you hook up with this one.

[starlord]

sounds like you saved her the trouble of getting more emotionally invested in him when he clearly wasnt with her.

he dumped her, shes fair game imo.

[7empest]

So, let's put this in a graph

Bro likes musical chick, they make out

Bro chooses other flirt over musical chick, musical chick bummed out

You are the rebound, you both dig each other

as far as I'm concerned this aint a mess at all, heck just wait till your twenties, now that's where the real emotional struggles start when people start choosing from a bigger pool of potential candidates/college or job interference/possibility of studying or working abroad and alcohol! OH GOD the alcohol....

You're green lit my friend, try your luck on this girl, she's 100% available by the sound of it.
And if not? Then you flex your man muscles and go for it anyway. Carnivores or alpha males do well with the women, be assertive.

-Guy Code-

[Auloria]

This isn't a gigantic mess, it's high school. He chose the other girl. He doesn't get to be upset if you hook up with this one.

People don't decide to be upset. It's a feeling, it happens whether it's logical or not.

Why don't you just tell your friend "Hey, I'm kinda interested in music girl, would you be okay with me asking her out?" and he'll say "sure" because otherwise he'd have to explain why you couldn't, and then he can't complain even if he's jealous about it because you asked, so you're in the clear.

[Taurenburger]

This isn't a gigantic mess, it's high school. He chose the other girl. He doesn't get to be upset if you hook up with this one.

I fully agree with this guy. Your friend has another girl, so you're free to date musical girl (as you say it) if she feels like dating too ofcourse. And it's high school, most relationships aren't that serious and it only ends up being more experience in dating.

[Itisamuh]

I wouldn't worry about it, man. They didn't get nearly serious enough for it to be a problem if you date the other one.

If you like each other, then I'd say go for it. The bro code or whatever it's called is for not dating a friend's serious ex's.

[TEHPALLYTANK]

That is the least messy mess I've ever read. Your friend is in the beginning of a relationship with another person, I really don't see how it much matters as he has already made his choice. That being said my views tend to skew more logical than most so when it comes to emotional problems they can be inaccurate simply because of how illogical emotion can be. Make a decision and don't worry about it, few things are as crippling as self-doubt (I happen to be an expert in self-doubt, it isn't fun).

[Deleted]

It's actually pretty simple, not that much of a mess. You like the girl? KUDOS! Go for it.
If you feel bad about it, you can always talk to your friend about it, I guess. But at the end of the day, your friend chose the other girl.

[Cthulhu 2020]

This isn't a gigantic mess, 1. it's high school. He chose the other girl. 2. He doesn't get to be upset if you hook up with this one.

1. is exactly why 2. will happen.

[drwelfare]

There is a good chance that you will never see or hear from these people again. Feel free to treat them how you wish and write people off as losses without any repercussions.

[Deleted]

What if I told you that NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. Jesus christ, this is not a relationship advice forum.

[Deleted]

What if I told you that NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. Jesus christ, this is not a relationship advice forum.

I do, and judging by the majority of the replies in this thread so far, I guess others do as well. So why don't you stop being an asshole, ignore this thread if it bothers you that much, and find something constructive to do with your time instead?

As for the problem at hand, I'm pretty much with everyone else. Your bro picked this other girl, and by the sound of it things never got too deep between him and Music Girl. If you feel like you want to, definitely go for it.

[Belize]

What if I told you that NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. Jesus christ, this is not a relationship advice forum.

Alright there chill, most people are more than willing to help.

OT: If he dumps her she's fair gaming as others have said. Whether he gets upset or not depends on his character.

Your situation my seem complicated, but if this is the worst that's happened to you than you've had pretty easy XD

Try being the guy that EVERYONE trusts about relationship advice for some reason and dealing with EVERYONE'S relationship match ups, trouble, etc. It's headache inducing. Doesn't help that I can tell who likes who and whether a relationship will work out based on behavior and an overdeveloped 6th sense but that's another story.

[Kulanae]

I had the same thing in HS, but in reverse. I had a girl crushing on me big time, but she was not my type. My buddy was crushing on her and called me up out of the blue to sort of ask permission so we would still be cool and I told him to go for it. We all ended up staying friends during their dating and it was all good.

Have some faith in the maturity of your buddy and if you like her......go for it.

[Templar 331]

I kind of feel bad, since pretty much the entire thing is my fault.

So, what happened to her is sort of my fault

I just feel like this is one whole gigantic mess

It's not your fault in any way. Your blowing it way out of proportion. It was your friends choice, not yours. He chose the other girl. You have zero responsibility in this. It's good you are comforting her. And if she likes you and your single, go for it. It would be weird if the four of you started hanging out though. lol

[Speaknoevil]

It would be weird if the four of you started hanging out though. lol

Or really awesome. *wink wink*
__

Not your fault, but don't mess her around if you can help it. The relationship will end, it's highschool, but it doesn't have to be a painful ending for either of you.

[larrakeyah]

High School is there for two reasons, to play sports and to be with girls. If one girl doesn't want anything you move along. And you do it quick, HS passes very quickly.

[Rukentuts]

There's no such thing as high school relationships. It's all about fucking and nothing more.

[Paladin885]

So am I readying this right?

- OP has a naive friend who talked and made out with "girl A" and ends up going to prom with "girl B."
- "Girl A" goes to prom alone and has what OP called a cliche prom night found in teen movies
- OP becomes friends with "girl A"
- OP likes "Girl A"
- "girl A" is fair game
- OP thinks the above to be an issue

whats the issue again?

you're a senior, in a few months you won't even know these 2-3 people anymore.