Brother problems...

[Lockstatus]

The best thing that could happen to him is getting arrested. May clean his ass up.

Unfortunately, I'm with you on that one. And the fact that he has not been arrested yet still baffles me.

[FTAzai]

Unfortunately, I'm with you on that one. And the fact that he has not been arrested yet still baffles me.

Try to approach him with some other methods, leave the law as a last resort. A great way to fuck up somebody's life is to slap a prison sentence on them, and you want him to recover and eventually become somewhat of a productive member of society, right?

[Tomservo]

You parents did fine in handling their problems when you were not born yet. I guess they still should be able to get their stuff straight with you just in phone call reach. Am i wrong? Really ask this yourself.

And yeah your borther does "bad" things i understand that. I also understand that you dont like the sutiation, but dont you dare call him a piece of shit. Man it is your brother! What he does right now as a fully time addict is sureley not good, but really it is not him acting it is the drugs.
Sure you can call him a peice of shit for getting started with drugs, but in the end who know why he started? Maybe missing brotherlove? No offense here dude.

I am sure he dissappointed you quite a lot, but he is your brother, you should be eager to help him rather than kick him.

ew you enabling douche. so you think he should be coddled for his bad behavior? this is why people don't get help. they get coddled instead of face consequence.

dude, your brother needs consequences for his actions. if your parents are too big of enablers to actually do something, be a good person and give him a harsh and hearty dose of consequence. it doesn't sound nice and pretty, but the reality is that it has a better chance of working. if not, fuck him, let him rot away.

[Drobu]

Hmm how would you do that? I've been part of my my uni's PL team for the last 4 years and could beat his ass without breaking a sweat. haha

It wouldn't be physical, but verbally...just let it flow. =)

[Palmz]

Try to approach him with some other methods, leave the law as a last resort. A great way to fuck up somebody's life is to slap a prison sentence on them, and you want him to recover and eventually become somewhat of a productive member of society, right?

They call it a correctional facility for a good reason. Sounds like this kid needs to go to jail or an army base camp where he is the littlest fish in the sea.

[Deleted]

They call it a correctional facility for a good reason. Sounds like this kid needs to go to jail or an army base camp where he is the littlest fish in the sea.

Yes they call it that but honestly no prison system around is super good at correcting the issues that cause criminality, some do try but they just aren't very good at it yet.

[Lockstatus]

Just gonna provide a small update. Got back from a post graduation vacation like 3 days ago and saw the brother for the first time in like 6 weeks. WOW wtf. Apparently he recently got a job working a at a golf course, usually works 10-12 hour days 6 days a week. He looks awful, lost prob 25+ lbs (he was already pretty thin) I'm guessing he's 130 at 5'10'', last time I saw him he was 150+, went pretty catabolic too, he used to lift a bit with me, gained mass but now He looks like a starving child . Also idk if he's just tired or wtf but he's like ALWAYS slurring and dozing. Like 24/7 he's sloppy and falling asleep all the time. Like he was at the dinner table and he dozed off during dinner, then he was taking clothes out of the dryer and fell asleep there. It just happens all the time...its so ridiculous. Not sure if he's just permanently hopped on shit or because of work and school = tired? (He's - for the first time in like 3years- decided to take a summer course at a university) Looks like he's slowly wasting away.

[sizzlinsauce]

as much as you hate to hear this. Oxy is one that i dont doubt he is crazily addicted to. you will need to have the family baby him. put him on a leash(and i mean this literally) for months. oxy you can stop for a year and end up back on it again. your body gets used to having it so much you will do anything for it. i don't doubt that at this stage if he was offered a good bit of money or oxy to kill one of your family members he would do it just due to the addiction taking over.

[Zanarin]

He's family, you hate him now but don't do anything rash to force him out.

My advice would be to continue to let your parents handle it and maybe push them to put him on a tighter leash.

[mikeakanice]

As much as it's going to hurt the mmo-champion community because their ego is entirely too large and they swear they know everything I'm going to have to tell you there are better site forums that would help you with this problem. Like maybe this one.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/
http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/dru...on-discussions

[Symphonic]

Find out who is getting him the prescription pills illegally and call the cops on HIM, not your brother.

[syn1k]

Would love if he was JUST inconsiderate and noisy.

Personal stuff has pretty much been on lockdown for 4-5 years. Parents bedroom/bathroom have multiple coded locks + a bunch of safes for all their shit, as does my room, my little bro's room and my grandma's room. Just sucks my 90 yr old grandma and my 11 yr old little brother has to worry about making sure money money/valuables/anything to be sold off are in a safe and their rooms are locked whenever they leave their room.

if nothing else your parents should be kicking him out because of the influence he can be to your younger brother. especially has he hits the rebellious teen years and he sees his older brother do what ever he wants and has no repercussion.

[Vokal]

Just looking for someone general advice on this one...

Older Brother is 25, has had drug problems since high school. Stole literally thousands of $$ of property/cash from me+family+pretty much any guest who entered our house (including parents wedding ring, etc etc) up until like 2 years ago. He dropped out of 2nd year of college 5(?) years ago because he just kept failing (he's not academically dumb by any means) due to fueling drug addiction. Since then he's had like 2 jobs that lasted for like 3-5 months and pretty much mooches hard off my parents, living in the basement and is essentially a huge money sink. He's been to rehab two times since high school. Drugs he does are oxys and xanax and other prescription stuff, though two of his close friends from middle school are doing worse stuff than that and they seem like the next step for him. This year alone he totaled 3 cars because he was high while driving and dozed off. I'm pretty much tired of his bull$hit and I know my parents are (not to mention my mom was diagnosed with M5 AML 2 years ago and beat that shit like a pro and this bs is putting unneeded stress on her) but they don't wanna kick him out because then he could get worse.

On the other hand I just graduated (and I'm 3 years younger) and am about to go to med school+law school, and to me he just seems like a huge piece of shit who is just a waste of resources for my parents and needs to be kicked out. The dumbass comes home often hopped up on who knows what and my parents still don't do anything. He recently found a "girlfriend" who's father addicted to all kinds of prescription meds and is abusive and the two of them often sit in our basement, popping shit, doing nothing and being honestly pieces of shit.

Kind of wondering what I should do, since I'm gonna leave for med school/law school in August and am kind of a voice of reason/buffer between my parents and him and without me I'm almost scared what's gonna happen. Was also wondering if it's possible to call the police on someone who is high on prescription stuff in your own home. I'm just looking forward to the time when he gets into something in over his head and shit really hits him.

It's a difficult situation. Difficult situations are handled best by mature people with a grown up mindset who actually want to solve a problem rather than immature ones trying to "prove" something. Look at you there, big man. Calling your own flesh and blood a "piece of shit", "waste of life and resources" and what not. He has problems, if you care about him and your parents than you'd work to solve them rather than harboring these vile thoughts and seeking approval on this website for your psuedo-macho mentality.

You and him, you're both high. He's on chemicals, you're on pride.

[Issalice]

I had a very similar situation. Still dealing with it actually, you never know with addicts. My brother is 27 and a recovering heroin addict. He did almost anything though, pills were a huge problem. It started in high school after falling in with the wrong crowd (yeah cliche, i know). He has stolen tens of thousands of dollars from the entire family. Caught red handed with his hands in several purses (mine, my mother's who at the time was dying from breast cancer, both grandmother's and my dad's girlfriends). He was constantly in and out of trouble. I took him in after he got clean the first time. We were fine for 2 years, he was totally clean and productive. Then he met a girl who was a junky. He wanted to help her, she moved in with us. I was under the impression she had gotten clean with his help, nope. They both staged a break in and robbed me blind.

I cut off all contact. About a year later he calls and needs help. I let him stay with me and my new boyfriend. He is supposedly clean and away from the junky slag. Nope. My boyfriend came home to find our electronics gone, bill money gone, and the house trashed. Cut off contact again. Two years later he calls. He is living with a group of junkies who are prostituting themselves. I convince my boyfriend to please let him come live with us. He does. 4 months go by, boyfriend comes home. Everything is missing.

He is currently clean and living with a new girlfriend. I visit him, but he is no longer allowed in the house that I have. My entire family has cut off contact and treats me like the devil for speaking to him. I know in my heart my brother is still alive because I never turned my back on him. Yeah, he stole a lot of shit. And cost me a ton of money. But possessions can be replaced. My brother can't. When our mother died I made a promise to always look out for him and I intend to keep that promise.

It sounds like your brother is in a really bad place. He has a family that cares for him, obviously you haven't turned your back yet. There is no easy solution. Calling the cops will get him out of the house for a short amount of time. And the stress of him being in there could hurt your mom the same amount it is right now. Drug addicts cannot change until they are ready. He needs to hit bottom. It is going to hurt every single one of you, maybe even more than it hurts your brother.

During my brother's darkest time I was a mess. I cried, stayed up all night looking his name up online, looking up obituaries, looking him up in the prison system. It was hell. I took him to halfway houses, rehabs, clinics, parole, therapy and visited him in jail. I would do it all over again because he is worth it.

I think the first step is to kick him out of the family home. That is enabling him to do whatever he pleases. He isn't being forced to be responsible, or being held accountable for his actions. Look into halfway houses. Even if you guys have to pull resources together and put a deposit for a shitty flat, do it. Tell him that is the last bit of help he will receive from you guys. My brother didn't get better for years. He still struggles, but he is clean. He lived on the streets for awhile and stayed in shelters. But that hard smack in the face showed him what his future would be like if he didn't get his shit together. Maybe your brother needs a similar wake up call. Addicts don't look at you the same way they would when they are sober. You are a resource, so are your parents. He knows he will be able to fall back on your guys, so why would he do anything else?

TL;DR....too bad, some shit can't be summed up lol

[Heathy]

Yeah, the first problem is coming to mmo champ with family issues, what you should be doing is having long meaningful discussions about where he thinks hes gunna be in the next year, if he really wants to do nothing with his life, and if he even cares about what hes doing and how it makes you and your folks feel.

your really not going to get a cure-all answer from here, the best thing you can do is talk, have a family discussion, force him to sit through it, better yet get him counselling. i have to agree with others though if you just see him as a piece of shit waste of space, then nothing will change, he probably knows you feel that way and is contributing to his drug addiction, basically he probably doesn't give a fuck. and thats what needs to change.

[Vokal]

Just gonna provide a small update. Got back from a post graduation vacation like 3 days ago and saw the brother for the first time in like 6 weeks. WOW wtf. Apparently he recently got a job working a at a golf course, usually works 10-12 hour days 6 days a week. He looks awful, lost prob 25+ lbs (he was already pretty thin) I'm guessing he's 130 at 5'10'', last time I saw him he was 150+, went pretty catabolic too, he used to lift a bit with me, gained mass but now He looks like a starving child . Also idk if he's just tired or wtf but he's like ALWAYS slurring and dozing. Like 24/7 he's sloppy and falling asleep all the time. Like he was at the dinner table and he dozed off during dinner, then he was taking clothes out of the dryer and fell asleep there. It just happens all the time...its so ridiculous. Not sure if he's just permanently hopped on shit or because of work and school = tired? (He's - for the first time in like 3years- decided to take a summer course at a university) Looks like he's slowly wasting away.

Good God...you're a horrible little monster.

I feel sorry for your brother, not because he has problems but because he has family like you to fall back on if/when he falls completely.

I hope my children are nothing like you. That'd be more of a nightmare than having an addict of a son.

[Agartha]

You're going to medical school and law school at the same time. ok

[Lockstatus]

Felt the need to necro this because I have to vent and I this is my first time dealing with anything like this.

My brother passed away last night at the age of 25 at his girlfriends house. She said he fell asleep and never woke up. Autopsy etc today. I just…don't know what to do. About 15 minutes after I get home from airport, mom gets a call from girlfriend to meet at hospital. He didn't know I was coming home yesterday, was kind of a surprise for him since I haven't been able to see him much lately.

He and I have been planning a cruise for forever for this spring where I go to school, since the weather is so nice there. He always told me he was saving up and I told him I'm just waiting for him to come out. I told him "You tell me the day and time and I'll be at the airport waiting". Had all kinds of fun things planned for us.

RIP Edward.

[Beazy]

Sorry to hear that. I would suggest not reading what you typed last year about your brother and get the hell off this website.