What should I do? My girlfriend is frustrating the FUCK out of me.

[munchkin]

Thank you all for your responses so far. Yes, I would talk to her about it now but she is with her family currently and this is something I want to talk about face-to-face, not over the phone, because I want to see her actual facial reactions and get a general vibe from her. She'll be back next week so I have time to really think about my approach.

My fear is that she is either cheating on me or using me, and its even more concerning since we were talking about getting married, so I'm extremely vulnerable right now and am afraid of what she might say, but I know it's best to hear her out next week. Or is it damaging to wait until next week to discuss?

[TheGravemind]

Abandon ship. Foresight. Too many people these days seem to be incompetent when it comes to relationships (not necessarily saying this is you, OP, but rather just speaking in general), which leads to a lot of dysfunctional relationships.

[munchkin]

Ok so..

I never responded last night. She just called me saying that she thought I was mad at her and to "check to make sure I was ok". She was sad I didn't respond to her text and she thought I was ignoring her or forgot about her. But she did say she just woke up and started getting worried when she didn't hear from me.

More head games or is this legit? I don't know what to believe anymore.

[moremana]

shes got someone else in the wind, she is waiting for it to play out before she dumps you.

[Itisamuh]

I've been best friendzoned by this one girl for about 10 years, lol. One day she'll tell me she loves me, I'm perfect, etc. The next minute she's telling someone else the same exact thing and then proceeds to bang them...then apologizes and begs me to talk to her again and the cycle begins anew. Some girls are just completely fucked up.

That's one of the saddest things I've ever read. I wouldn't ever speak to that girl again haha.

[tithian]

Forget the mind games. Sit down with her and tell her that she's been on the edge lately, and ask her what's up.

It could be that she has other issues bottling up and will be relieved to find womeone to talk to. Or it could be that you did something unknowingly and she was pissed (happens more often than you imagine). Either way, she will appreciate the talk.

[tohyatvc]

Ok,

So basically lately she seems to have a bad attitude when we're around each other, and mainly texts on her phone instead of talking to me.

ALSO when we're together she seems stand-off'ish
But when we are in two different places, she says she loves me, wants to cook for me, misses me, wants to bond in new ways, etc.

She's sending me so many fucking signals that are conflicting and I just have a bad feeling about this. Sometimes its good to go with your instincts, but please prove me wrong.. if that's possible.

She just texted that she loves me. I've yet to respond.

1. Talk to her
2. Don't post on a random MMO forum about it
3. Stay with her or split up depending on whether you think you will get along
4. ???
5. Profit

[Kalis]

She's cheating on you, most likely with someone that is in a relationship themself.

Here's why:

1. When you are apart, she sends you texts rather than calls - classic sign that she sneaks off to send them; or if her lover knows about you, then she's probably sending them whilst out of breath.
2. She doesn't want to be single just yet, so she strings you along with her texts - she is waiting for the other man to end his relationship.
3. She can't stand to be in your presence - you don't come out favourably in comparison to her new lover.

I hope this helps.

If anyone else would like relationship advice, please start a new thread.

[Sorrior]

Yeah, not used to a guy having less of a libido than I do. made me a sad panda.

I have a low one these days....Hormone imbalance suggest he see a doctor.

[Skippy88]

I would go past the texts and how she's handling you in real life. Has anything changed recently? Is there any other signs she's acting suspiciously? For instance, instead of working 9 to 5 she's now working 9 to 6 or it's taking longer for her to get groceries.

Trust your gut, talk with her, lay out your concerns and listen.

[cwowtbang]

Lot'a clueless assholes in this thread. She's either hiding something from you or doesn't respect you in person. It's easier to respect and miss something when it's not within reach. Stop asking idiots on the internet and sit her down for a real talk. Women are not difficult, complicated creatures. Most men are just too stupid to figure out what to do til it's too late and end up asking people on a web forum for advice.

Communicate, you have no other option.

You must be a woman. I think just maybe you're being a little harsh on men. Women are very complicated to a man. You'd have to be a man to understand that. I myself am gay. I still find women complicated. They confide in me just because of my orientation and that is irritating and I don't welcome it. Hearing all of their problems... its intense.

Anyway, maybe the OP doesn't have anyone he can relate to IRL or maybe wants to remain anonymous. You have to consider all things. Why do people look up diseases on webmd rather than going to a doctor? Same thing. I do agree with you on communication though. If I were in his shoes, I would break the relationship off. Its not worth the energy to get treated that way. 9 times out of 10 the behavior will return once she feels confident she's not going anywhere.

[munchkin]

Now she is texting me about how her day is going, and how she is thinking about me, and how she wants to do something with me next week. I feel like shit right now.. I feel she is using me as a psychological safe haven until something bigger and better comes up. I tried, I really did. Why are women so damn hard to please, fuck.

[Valort]

Dump her, you'll get a new one before prom.

[cwowtbang]

Now she is texting me about how her day is going, and how she is thinking about me, and how she wants to do something with me next week. I feel like shit right now.. I feel she is using me as a psychological safe haven until something bigger and better comes up. I tried, I really did. Why are women so damn hard to please, fuck.

It's not hard. Break it off. No sense in losing your hair over it. If you feel she's using you as a stepping stool then get out. Don't even stoop to her level and try playing the game back to her. Be the mature one.

[Kuniku]

set her first born child on fire in a sacrifice to the dark gods!

[lordmatthias]

Now she is texting me about how her day is going, and how she is thinking about me, and how she wants to do something with me next week. I feel like shit right now.. I feel she is using me as a psychological safe haven until something bigger and better comes up. I tried, I really did. Why are women so damn hard to please, fuck.

You may be overreacting. Before you go off the deep end JUST TALK TO HER DIRECTLY. Quit with the bullshit texting, you loose a lot of communication when you just use text as a lot of communication comes from non-verbal means (ie how does she seem while talking to you). You could be misinterpreting what she is trying to tell you via text. If you are really that worried about it drive up to wherever she is and actually sit down and talk about how you are both feeling, and possibly some of the things you are worried about. If you both aren't willing to do that, then frankly you are both immature and really have no business being in a serious relationship.

[Sorrior]

You must be a woman. I think just maybe you're being a little harsh on men. Women are very complicated to a man. You'd have to be a man to understand that. I myself am gay. I still find women complicated. They confide in me just because of my orientation and that is irritating and I don't welcome it. Hearing all of their problems... its intense.

Anyway, maybe the OP doesn't have anyone he can relate to IRL or maybe wants to remain anonymous. You have to consider all things. Why do people look up diseases on webmd rather than going to a doctor? Same thing. I do agree with you on communication though. If I were in his shoes, I would break the relationship off. Its not worth the energy to get treated that way. 9 times out of 10 the behavior will return once she feels confident she's not going anywhere.

As a straight man who has been the "gay friend" yeah it can get nuts....Worst is when ya fall for her she's seeing someone and when they breakup ya give it time ask her out and ya get "oh you're a great guy but I don't see ya like that".....More to it like fooling around she started and similar things but yeah women can be pretty crazy....Just want my stuff back now LOL.

- - - Updated - - -

Now she is texting me about how her day is going, and how she is thinking about me, and how she wants to do something with me next week. I feel like shit right now.. I feel she is using me as a psychological safe haven until something bigger and better comes up. I tried, I really did. Why are women so damn hard to please, fuck.

/pats on back

Been there man been there...See above....Yeah it's not fun.

Anyone else ever notice how much men get just used emotionally and physically by women? Seriously feels like alot of the gwnder stereotypes are shifting.

I have met more hyper libidimous women then men more women willing to just wham bam thank you man then I have heard any guys I know doing it...

Kinda funny and sad in some ways...

[skrump]

In this case it sounds a lot like she loves you but she questions if you feel the same way about her which is why she seems somewhat standoffish.
And maybe she just prefers texting, some people find it a much clearer way to communicate myself included.

[Pizza the Hutt]

The important things in life are what people DO, not what they SAY.

"It's not who you are underneath, but what you do, that defines you."
- Rachel Dawes

[lagmoose]

You know, all those people telling him she's cheating on him and everything, while it may be valid and possible she is, that shit doesn't help the frame of mind. It's about the same kind of mental crazy as it is when a girl just completely stops talking to someone after everything seems to be going well. Once that seed of doubt is planted, it is damn near impossible to remove it. The best thing is for him to just talk to her. It may feel like the hardest thing in the universe to do, but at least you'll have that "closure/peace of mind" after.

I've been best friendzoned by this one girl for about 10 years, lol. One day she'll tell me she loves me, I'm perfect, etc. The next minute she's telling someone else the same exact thing and then proceeds to bang them...then apologizes and begs me to talk to her again and the cycle begins anew. Some girls are just completely fucked up.

Story of my life, really. I know how fucked up they can be. I pissed one girl off because I called her beautiful instead of hot. I'm still trying to figure that one out.