[Bio] Lilith Sun Moonhaven (Revised)

[Venziir]

Ohh ok thank you, just saw it, and what I have learned from playing wow all these years is some thing can not be explained and some are mysterious and to expect the unexpected, take the Mists of Pandaria expansion, the whole thing started from Samwise Didier who drew a picture after the birth of his daughter, then it became an april fools prank in WC3, and eventually it became an amazing expansion, I am not saying my concept is the greatest ever, but great stories have humble beginnings

True, but there are still limits.

[Mifuyne]

Ohh ok thank you, just saw it, and what I have learned from playing wow all these years is some thing can not be explained and some are mysterious and to expect the unexpected, take the Mists of Pandaria expansion, the whole thing started from Samwise Didier who drew a picture after the birth of his daughter, then it became an april fools prank in WC3, and eventually it became an amazing expansion, I am not saying my concept is the greatest ever, but great stories have humble beginnings

It's not a humble beginning tho in your case.
It's the worst kind of RP background EVER written if you ask me.

Nobody will ever take this text serious, ever.
If people "like" it, they are lying or are in there for something else (ERP'ing them up).

What you want to do is pick a single race, a single class.
You also won't be invincible or the smartest ever.
You are not born "awesome" or "super royal and every knows you".
Nor have you ever been blessed by some super god.
Stick with Warcraft lore, not some twilight faggot lore or whatever.

[Huntrod]

It's not a humble beginning tho in your case.
It's the worst kind of RP background EVER written if you ask me.

Not everything is instantly perfection, but thank you for your feedback

[Feral Camel]

Fuck it, I'll bite. At least you picked a workable gender. You need to tone this down. Hashly.

5 things I'd change straight way.

1. The Scourge / DK. History. Remove it. This seems more jammed in there. Your character would have been 14-15, why was she even in Northrend? Remember, your character doesn't need to have a part in every conflict. Less is more.

2. You can't be a princess. Just like I can't be the King of Melbourne. It sucks, it really does, but no role exists. Re adjust that to at least high nobility in Darnassian.

3. Why does she hate the horde? Does she hate all of the horde or just the orc and forsaken? If so, why?

4. Stick with her being a core night elf druid and work out a feasible storyline from that.

5. Weaknesses need to exist.

I am extremely strong and nothing can kill me, only make me uncomfortable for a short while.

She can't be unkillable. Otherwise lets just sent her straight to Sargeras to beat his arse and call the rest of the game off.

I am pretty much the most intellectual being in the universe

This can't work. You can't be the smartest being in the universe and unkillable. You character is pretty much a god.

My teachers use to give me advice. KISS. Keep it simple, stupid... seems kind of harsh now. Its not bad advice though.

Best of luck and keep an open mind on the advice.

[The Madgod]

I think I'm going to close this. Not really any attempt to change anything and what seems to be intentional stalling despite everyone saying the exact same thing.