Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst
1
2
  1. #21
    She sounds manic depressive and insecure around other people. I assume she saw you looking at a hot chick or you mentioned something that brought out deep insecurities from her past. Judging from her post I assume she is between 20-25 which is a no go age for wanting a real relationship.

    Good news is chicks like this respect strength and maturity, so lay down the rules. Tell her to explain and give details where she think you fucked up or you are moving on. Trust me avoid the games. You will end up with years invested in a failing relationship. If the foundation is this week you are setting yourself up bad.

    If you want to make her see how crazy this sounds give her the link to this thread, so she can see what other people think of this. Her friends will kiss her ass and support whatever she says even though they have o clue wtf she is talking about. Let her see how strangers are responding to her post.

    That is no environment to have a healthy relationship.

  2. #22
    If there's no history of previous behavior like this, I would assume drama-queen and bail. If you want to give her a last chance, explain that the foundation of a good relationship is communication and if she is expecting you to divine her mind from a blog post, that's not good.

    If there is a history of behavior like this, get her family to take her to a doctor.
    ~ flarecde
    Reality is nothing; Perception is everything.

  3. #23
    Deleted
    It's weird but somehow this post looks like something Tiili would write.

    OT: Like someone said, if it's something random she probably is a drama queen, and you might want to reconsider.

  4. #24
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by Red Burlap Bandana View Post
    It's weird but somehow this post looks like something Tiili would write.

    OT: Like someone said, if it's something random she probably is a drama queen, and you might want to reconsider.
    No, I didn't see any immigrant blaming in there.

  5. #25
    Karl, listen up, and listen good. This is a serious matter, and you need to proceed cautiously.

    It sounds like your girlfriend is crippled by fear, shame, and low self esteem.

    If she is super hot, you need to help get her through this because if you do, she will become her knight in shining armor, a position which you can then leverage to manipulate her and bend her to your every will and wildest desire.

    If she is not super hot, you need to get out of this relationship quickly.

    Move, and change your name if necessary.

    No need to thank me.
    Last edited by Killadrix; 2013-07-28 at 09:08 PM.

  6. #26
    She is certainly depressed, it wouldn't be common to write something like this if you were a well adjusted happy person. She really needs CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, but no one really goes and buys a book on it and does the homework properly, she would need to see a counsellor or psychologist.

    Also, I don't like prescription drugs or pharmacuetical companies, but at the same time I have seen many improvements in people that talk/write like this when they take an antidepressant. She is definitely putting out the cry for help in that letter.

    The things that can help if she cant do any of the above:

    Excercise 30 minutes a day
    Vitamin D
    EFA's "essential Fatty acids" its like fish oil capsules
    Zinc
    Good mutivitamin

    These do make a difference after a couple of weeks

    Oh...if that was my friend, I would probably print off the letter and send it to her Doctor/parents, she wouldn't know it was you as it's on her blog, just send it anonomously. It has a bit of a suicidal sound to it, so I would do that.

    And of course, these are things I see prescribed and done at the facility I work at, but of course this needs to come from a doctor. Well the vitamins and excercise I am sure would be fine.

    You definitely will have a handful to deal with, she may come across as a drama queen, but she definitely has issues that need to be dealt with.

    Oh! there is an awesome forum you can post this on too! It's called TAM "Talk about Marriage" and there are 1000's of people on line all the time answering, it does not matter if you are married or even if you are 15 years old, they give awesome advice, psychological etc...

    Good luck! She is lucky she has someone who cares about the situation, I do not know how long you will be able to deal with it tho if she doesn't get help!

    Last thing...this will also effect you and bring your mood down and take a while for you to do damage control on yourself, you need to consider that too.

    So I would say to her "lets get help for you or I am out." (in a much nicer way tho) lol
    Last edited by Ecko; 2013-07-28 at 09:07 PM.

  7. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by Spectral View Post
    I have posted the most useful advice you can possibly receive in this matter. Of course, you won't listen to it, because it's not what you want to hear, but such is life.
    He wants help with and for HER, he didn't ask what he should do for himself. It is not what he wants to hear because it is not what he asked, please pay attention to posters especially when they are truly upset. I am sure that is what he will do in the long run if she doesn't get help, I would hate to see him damaged at the same time from her depression.

  8. #28
    I have been in a similar situation as well!The best that u can do is to support her.She has some serious problems (mentally prolly from an abuse!?).My ex was raped,girls like ur gf and my ex,need medical help.They need to visit a doctor to settle things in their heads and to manage to overcome the past!The fact that she is writing it down to a blog when she knows that u will read it,its weird,like she wants ur help and in the same time not.Good luck u will need it!

  9. #29
    Herald of the Titans chrisberb's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    2,512
    This sounds more like she's writing some sort of dark poetry than that of a personal blog.

  10. #30
    Alright, prepare for wall of text, this is assuming she isnt just an attentionwhore and is actually a brokenbird whom you actually want to stay with, personally ive been with several brokenbirds and its never rewarding, its horrible to say but its far better for you to just be a friend, that said, lets move on to the advice i can give comprising my own experience with such situations.
    I cannot say that this is "the way", just something that i have learned from life experience, which ofc does not apply to everyone.


    The best course of action is to stop "being a man" i dont mean this in the sense you likely think, i mean this in the sense that most guys have no clue whatsoever how to handle womens emotions and usually screw up by being insistent and taking shit personally.

    First of all, no questions, if she starts talking allow it to continue but do not poke, this applies in many situations, first dont try to find out what her trauma is, what her past is, whatever, its highly disrespectful, when she feels ready, if ever, she will tell you.

    If she is crying, dont ask why, just hold her and reassure that you are there for her if she needs anything, give a gentle kiss and leave her alone for a bit if she makes no indication that she wants you to stay, return time to time to check and maybe bring something she likes, say a chocolate or tea or whatever.
    Leaving alone and staying with is something that guys in general really need to get a hang of, you want to support but not suffocate, you want to give space but not abandon, the measure of what is what ofc varies from person to person and only experience can tell you the balance.

    Now, 2 very very very important things, first and most important, you cannot cure her, in fact, no one can, so stop even trying to do it, it wont happen.
    All you can do, is mitigate, support and reduce frequency of attacks/fears and so forth, i know its an instinct as a guy to want to fix problems as fast as we can, and its hard for a male mind to understand the idea that some things cant be fixed and let go, but, this is the most important advice i can ever give you.

    Secondly, do not take it personally, this is just as important as the first one.
    She will cry, she will have fears, nightmares, panic attacks, she will be angry at you, she will say mean things (we all do when angry) and so forth, again, all you can do is help her, no matter how frustrating it is dont take it personally, forgive and let go.

    I wish you good luck, after several brokenbirds i vowed not to enter relationships with any girl like that, even if i know how to handle it and it worked quite well, its draining and i realized its not what i want for my life, to be with a girl who needs constant support and cant handle herself, i really prefer girls who are independent and strong, this sounds mean but its the truth.

    PS: the nutriotional advice someone gave is good and solid, try to do that but instead of "this will cure you!11" just slowly implement things, such as "lets take a walk" and slowly make it a routine (sun, and some exercice), prepare some meals which have said vitamins/oils or simply mention that you are taking this awesome supplement and she could try too, because i donno, it made you feel more energetic or whatever.

    And yes, when things are more stable try to suggest a professional.

    Edit: now an ill attempt at humour that exemplifies what im talking about "being a guy"
    http://i.imgur.com/1sGQ824.jpg
    Last edited by Kurioxan; 2013-07-28 at 10:27 PM.

  11. #31
    Crazy chick GTFO bro

  12. #32
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by Red Burlap Bandana View Post
    It's weird but somehow this post looks like something Tiili would write.

    OT: Like someone said, if it's something random she probably is a drama queen, and you might want to reconsider.
    It can't be, the word "rape" is absent in what the OP quoted.

  13. #33
    After 3 months she's acting like that? I'd bounce ASAP. Sounds like she needs professional help that you can't give her, but the best you can do is talk to her and see what's really going on. Hard to get much from that blog post, but it's definitely not a good sign.

  14. #34
    Hi Karl.
    If you're serious, which I doubt. You made an account only for this thread on a gaming forum.

    You should probably keep talking to her until she wants to talk about it. After a conversation with her about it, you need to decide with her what to do next.
    If she refuses at all to budge and talk to you, then I would take what most others here have said to heart; leave her.
    The Herald of Horror - Act 2 intro:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rwjNGSsHVM

  15. #35
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by Celltrex View Post
    I didn't understand anything. People should either say directly what they feel, or should say nothing at all.
    Oh god so much this.

    The blog-post looks like the ramblings of either a mad-woman, or some "totes emosh" wannabe dark and edgy teenager.

    I had a girlfriend like that once too, who would say cryptic shit then get weird if pressed. Leave the game-playing to the children. If it's too personal or upsetting to talk about or explain, then don't open your mouth at all.
    Last edited by mmoc4359933d3d; 2013-07-28 at 11:11 PM.

  16. #36
    Quote Originally Posted by Karl View Post
    Please, only post things I can use to deal with this. I really believe in us, so I'm looking for people who have experience in this kind of matters. I was expecting some rude comments, I just hope it doesn't stop others from posting/pming me.
    Very well.

    When in doubt, throw her out.

    Best advice of the thread.
    They can dynamite Devil Reef, but that will bring no relief, Y'ha-nthlei is deeper than they know.

  17. #37
    I've been with a girl like this and I was with her for about 2 years. With hindsight, I wouldn't have gone anywhere near her but unfortunately the people you care for the most, the more they can hurt you and this looks like a whole load of pain for you bruddah.


    Bail before you get any serious kind of feelings towards her or you will regret it. Trust.

  18. #38
    Brewmaster Darkrulerxxx's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    1,345
    three months of this relationship and she has all this emotional baggage already tied within it??

    you said she isn't going to explain herself anymore to you after those apparently "Clearly understandable" blog posts...

    it isn't worth your time or future investment if SHE doesn't want to work this with you.

    It's time for you to leave. Don't be a fool and think you can save her. get out.

  19. #39
    Moderator Crissi's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    The Moon
    Posts
    32,144
    I'd advise her to seek a psychologist, because believe it or not, psychologists aren't just for completely messed up people. She'll be able to work through her issues with them in an environment where she wont be judged (normally. My mom was told she was too screwed up to fix by one who should have had his license revoked).

    If she insists on not seeing anyone, or continue to play games and not b openly honest, then its better in the long run if you leave. It is an emotionally draining experience to deal with someone who is refusing help.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •