Roomate problems (a bit long)

[Deleted]

Exactly my point mate.

It's all well and good acting like Mr Perfect behind a computer screen and giving out life wisdoms to people you don't know, but the majority of the people dishing out the 'wisdom' are probably 40 year old basement dwellers, shouting out demands for dinner to their mothers.

One of my dislikes about this particular forum.

Hey man i'm 18 and cook my own dinner!

My mother still washes my undies though

(Yes i'm joking you analilized people who take jokes far too seriously)

[Puri]

My hint for the future: Never every accept a work contract (directly or indirectly) from close friends or relatives.
It doesn't matter if you agree on repairing a bathroom for a amount of cash, or just agree on moving in and make the au-pair.

Everytime both agree on a mutual agreement, it will always backfire on your relationship because one partner will feel framed.
If he is a real friend, he should give you shelter for a reasonable time no matter what you give in return. You can still play the au-pair then, but only voluntary and with no strings attached.

[shawnatrain]

I am sure it was probably meant that way, if I had asked to pay for something and someone told me NO, and then on top of it called me insane for even bringing up the idea... and then a few days later thought they would cuss me out for not paying for gas... i probably would of went and got that dog shit sitting at the house and put it on her desk.
No one is going to say that he did not do his due diligence. If they have issues or want to play 16 year old games (saying one thing and meaning another for the sake of looking good) then f*em. They dont deserve his money or his friendship. That is NOT how you treat friends. It would be different if it someone you barely know or someone you kind of know but this is a long long term friend, there is no need for games like this to be played by them if I understand correctly. Say what you mean and mean what you say or GTFO imo.



Hos so? He did the adult thing, it is not his fault nor his responsibility for the fact that they can not act like adults.



Did you take the blue pill or the red? Cause its clear you do not live in the real world of today and must be in the Matrix. They put themselves in the position to look selfish when they bitched about 2 bucks worth of gas. The man already offered them money and was told it was insane to pay and he did as he was told. Then they want to change the story a few days later because they cant manage their money? You have to take the whole situation into account.

My landlord asks to use my debit card to pay his cable bill and rent a week and a half early and then 3 days later cusses me for not putting 2 bucks in his tank? You can FOAD on that brother. No way no how should they have ever said a word about the 2 bucks.



That makes 0 sense, so you want him to badger these people to take his money is that it, and for letting him ride somewhere they would already have to go everyday anyway? I for sure see that he should offer money for gas but once they tell him no, its no. No means no bud, you may think it means try harder or whatever but in my world if you tell me no, that's that.

Its like them setting the rent at a certain amount and after he agrees and pays it a few time them deciding that because they need more money to raise his rent... Shit dont work bud, you had the chance to get what you wanted, you said you didnt want it and that the idea was insane to begin with...
Shows over, end of story

Sorry to have to bust you out but why are you replying to your own post? Jax = Larry01

[chrisberb]

@ OP: I'd say that up until the current events you described everything was fair..your being the house maid (sorry for the term), in exchange for a place to stay. So there really isn't much to say there.
I think the gas situation is the only place where I see a problem..and not all of it is on you. You were told that you didn't have to chip in for gas, which is understandable and you weren't in the wrong for not doing so. It wasn't cool of them/her to leave you the car with essentially no gas in it, but it also wasn't cool for you to return it completely empty either..10$ woulda been a nice compromise considering it was a spur of the moment need for gas. The 2.50$ on her desk was a bit spiteful, and i'm not sure if you regret that act, or how you handled it.
The dog crap...i'm with you on that, that's on them. They've got 4 kids capable of cleaning that up! Sometimes ya gotta draw a line lol
In regards to what has sparked a mood of hostility..it's probably the fact that you're up on your feet and ready to move out. It's one of those human things..they may feel that you took advantage of their hospitality, but at the same time feel you stayed too long, or are just splitting now that they've helped you out. But they honestly couldn't have expected you to stay forever.
Good luck!

[Tziva]

You need to split gas. It doesn't matter if she was already going there, it's the proper thing to do. If you borrow the car, you should replace the gas you use, and if you carpool together, you should split the costs. If nothing else, it's definitely bad form to argue about it.

Otherwise it sounds like you've overstayed your welcome and it is causing people to be unreasonable and it's time to start looking ASAP for a place to go.

[Themius]

You need to split gas. It doesn't matter if she was already going there, it's the proper thing to do. If you borrow the car, you should replace the gas you use, and if you carpool together, you should split the costs. If nothing else, it's definitely bad form to argue about it.

Otherwise it sounds like you've overstayed your welcome and it is causing people to be unreasonable and it's time to start looking ASAP for a place to go.

Well offering to pay gas and then being told it's crazy and it's stupid to even think of it, thn turn around and bitch them out about it is.. ridiculous.

Splitting cost when everyone is already going to the same place doesn't really make sense to me. "I drive to x place for my job everyday, person moved in with me and they work there too but they don't use the car otherwise." Why would I have them pay to take them a place I already go everyday? If you want people out of your house you tend to want them to be able to safe money to get out, not charge them for things that you already do anyway.

[Kuntantee]

lol...you are calculating down to penny. This is so ill mannered. I would kick you from my house after such insolence. You are using their car and asking if they need you to pay for gas. I mean how cheap are you? You don't ask this kind of stuff, you just fucking pay. On the other hand, cleaning dish, taking care of children, okay but someone who you call "friend" is letting you clean dog shit? What a sick friendship...I would cut all my connection with such "friend".

[Tziva]

Well offering to pay gas and then being told it's crazy and it's stupid to even think of it, thn turn around and bitch them out about it is.. ridiculous.

Splitting cost when everyone is already going to the same place doesn't really make sense to me. "I drive to x place for my job everyday, person moved in with me and they work there too but they don't use the car otherwise." Why would I have them pay to take them a place I already go everyday? If you want people out of your house you tend to want them to be able to safe money to get out, not charge them for things that you already do anyway.

I don't know the circumstances on them declining. Maybe it was done before the situation had changed. Maybe it was done under the duress of a money argument. It doesn't matter, you should insist on splitting the cost of gas with them. If they absolutely refuse to take the money, then when you borrow the car, you should fill it back to full, not just replace the half gallon you used.

You split the cost out of social etiquette. That's how carpools work. If both parties are going to the same place, either one could make the argument, "well you would go there whether I was here or not." If she didn't drive him in her car, he would have to pay for 100% of the gas in his own (or a bus ticket, or whatever) - so she is doing him a favour by saving him money. He should return the favour by saving her money, then both people play half of what they would if they didn't carpool, everyone wins. Instead of just him. The gas is taking two people to their location, two people should pay. If you don't think you should be sharing the cost, then you should not be accepting her ride.

You can disagree with this, but this is pretty standard and accepted social etiquette for how carpooling works. Who had the job first is irrelevant. It's obvious that they feel it should be the case, and if nothing else it is terrible unclassy to argue about how you shouldn't need to chip in because "they were going there anyway." Choose your battles man, offending the people you live with over a small amount of gas money is not worth it. Take the high road and insist on splitting the costs.

[MissMandie]

It doesn't matter what happened because that's over and done with. The real question is what are your going to do now? My first inclination was for you to tell them to shove it and move out. However, there is one BIG reason why you can't burn this bridge. You work with your friend's wife. I can guarantee that there will be talk around the office but do you want to look like the good guy or a douche? Good guy = do whatever you can to smooth over everything before you move out. Leave them with nothing bad to say. Douche = rant and rave before moving. What kind of reputation do you want at your new job where you will most likely be running into the wife? Your call.

[Larry01]

It doesn't matter what happened because that's over and done with. The real question is what are your going to do now? My first inclination was for you to tell them to shove it and move out. However, there is one BIG reason why you can't burn this bridge. You work with your friend's wife. I can guarantee that there will be talk around the office but do you want to look like the good guy or a douche? Good guy = do whatever you can to smooth over everything before you move out. Leave them with nothing bad to say. Douche = rant and rave before moving. What kind of reputation do you want at your new job where you will most likely be running into the wife? Your call.

I would not do that anyway, even if I did not work with her. I try not to burn bridges ever.

*Update:
Today on the way to work I brought up the subject again, I got the same response (no and its crazy to even think that) just she said it in a different way. She explained that it is what my buddy wants but since she is the one taking me then its up to her and she feels it is unnecessary seeing as I am trying to save every penny to move out and on. She said it would be different if I was running around drinking and partying, but since she sees I maximize my saving and do minimal social things she is all for not worrying about gas.
It ended up us laughing about the whole thing with the gas again and her sorta making fun of her hubby so I guess it is resolved. I did approach it by apologizing for the $2.50 thing and saying that was bad form of me so perhaps that was what got the ball rolling. Thanks for that advice.

[rinleezwins]

If I could drive to work with someone, I would do it just to split the gasoline cost, just saying.

[Belloc]

-They offered you free carpool as a token of friendship, you should have red between the lines and acknowledged that eventually you would have to pay something, because that's what friends do. If you only wanted to pay for use then you should have declined the friendly offer and paid them.

-If my neighbours dog comes over and shits on my porch i pick up the shit and have an adult discussion with my neighbour about the problem where a solution is found. I don't make a scene out of it and force my neighbour to come over and clean up after his dog.

You don't sound like a friend.

Here's the solution: His friends teach their children a lesson in responsibility by making them let the dog out and clean up the shit if they fail to do that.

Seriously, your ignorance is absolutely astonishing. Did you even bother reading what he wrote?