Literally stressing - ruined my life

[Duronos]

Here's the problem, when people say, "face the consequences", they aren't actually realizing that this kind of thing follows a kid like him too far in his life. You fucked up, you had a lapse in judgement, should you be fined etc? Yes. Should this affect you years down the road? No. Sadly our judicial system has flaws, everything is looked as punishment, there is more too it, the entire point of justice is not just punishment but the feeling that doing the same thing again isn't right but we as Americans are taught that all you deserve is punishment. This is where I believe we are wrong, justice should as be considered an opportunity to rehabilitate (depending on how bad the crime was and how long you might be in) as well.

I'm just hoping this doesn't end up too badly for you considering you're 18 and your friend was 17 at the time. Something like this should not follow you after college for job interviews and I sure hope it doesn't, I already think the American judicial system is a bit too harsh in the first place.

[Nevertrap]

not allowed to go into that albertsons the police said that they said if i do i can arrested for trespassing

the lawyer thing sounds like the only option

the bottle was 16.99 which is under 25 so I dont know why

edit: As for expungement, the court website I live near says that it will still show up on a standard background check

[Themius]

A fist wave and calling him an asshole isn't any punishment. And as long as this is a misdemeanor, typically it would be if the cost is as low as he's talking about(although since it's alcohol related...), he's got to deal with the consequences for the next 7 years. There are plenty of jobs that he can get without a background check and when he actually graduates college most employers will understand if he explains he was a stupid kid stealing a bottle of liquor. Hell, a number of employers will understand if he's upfront about it on his application. All he has to do is not fuck up again and he should be fine.

Again, if you don't want to be viewed as a criminal don't commit crimes. It's as simple as that. It's not like the OP accidentally walked out with something or had a friend steal w/o telling him. He went to the store with the purpose of stealing from it. That more than deserves a black mark going forward.

You realize you are instantly impeding and disqualifying them from many many employers list because of this right?

[poser765]

A fist wave and calling him an asshole isn't any punishment. And as long as this is a misdemeanor, typically it would be if the cost is as low as he's talking about(although since it's alcohol related...), he's got to deal with the consequences for the next 7 years. There are plenty of jobs that he can get without a background check and when he actually graduates college most employers will understand if he explains he was a stupid kid stealing a bottle of liquor. Hell, a number of employers will understand if he's upfront about it on his application. All he has to do is not fuck up again and he should be fine.

this is true. Most won't give a shit. Some will, though. And some other opportunities may close to him education wise as a result of this...maybe. I don't know op. He good be a perfect little angel, or he could be a holy hell who refuses to take responsibility for himself...couldn't give two shits. What I FEEL is that mercy when merrited is fundamentally a good thing. We all do stupid things and threads like these make most of think back on the stupid things we've done. I'm for the most part a good person. As are most of us in this thread. A one time fuck up that is close to not punished does not make a career criminal.

OH, an Anecdote. I fucked up in grade school. Shit don't even remember what I did. Sent to Principal's office. She came out with the paddle. Threatened me with it then sent me back to class. I never went to the Principal's office again. Not because she scared me straight, but because I was a good kid who mixed up in some shit I shouldn't have been in. I saw what COULD be the consequences and steered well clear of bad shit from then on out.

[Themius]

Here's the problem, when people say, "face the consequences", they aren't actually realizing that this kind of thing follows a kid like him too far in his life. You fucked up, you had a lapse in judgement, should you be fined etc? Yes. Should this affect you years down the road? No. Sadly our judicial system has flaws, everything is looked as punishment, there is more too it, the entire point of justice is not just punishment but the feeling that doing the same thing again isn't right but we as Americans are taught that all you deserve is punishment. This is where I believe we are wrong, justice should as be considered an opportunity to rehabilitate (depending on how bad the crime was and how long you might be in) as well.

I'm just hoping this doesn't end up too badly for you considering you're 18 and your friend was 17 at the time. Something like this should not follow you after college for job interviews and I sure hope it doesn't, I already think the American judicial system is a bit too harsh in the first place.

I was just watching msnbc juvenile lock up thing, it makes no sense to me some of the cases.

A troubled boy who spent 100 days without seeing his mother acts out and is just kept in lock up, where's the therapy why in the world is he treated like a common criminal? What did he do? Swing at his step father. The mother already has one kid in a placement center so obviously there is something wrong with that household, yet the child is treated as the criminal. Finally he's sent to a placement center where he will live and go to school which to me would seem to common sense and what should have been the first option, not leaving him abandoned for 100 days till they were forced to make a decision.

This country is so so so so so much about responsibility and punishment, but people don't realize that punishment here is nothing but that, punishment, punishment that after you serve your time often follows you for life ruining many times your chances to better yourself. What is the point of punishing people for crimes just to have it follow them almost pushing them back into crime.

[poser765]

not allowed to go into that albertsons the police said that they said if i do i can arrested for trespassing

the lawyer thing sounds like the only option

the bottle was 16.99 which is under 25 so I dont know why

edit: As for expungement, the court website I live near says that it will still show up on a standard background check

Thank you. Just get a lawyer. No more "self diagnosing" with the internet. I know it's hard, but just stop sweating it. This will hardly be the end of the world even if you are found guilty. It might complicate things SLIGHTLY down the road but your life is hardly ruined.

I'm a professional and several of my colleagues have records FAR worse than stealing a bottle of booze. This in an industry where people are scared speeding tickets will bar you from getting a job.

[Themius]

this is true. Most won't give a shit. Some will, though. And some other opportunities may close to him education wise as a result of this...maybe. I don't know op. He good be a perfect little angel, or he could be a holy hell who refuses to take responsibility for himself...couldn't give two shits. What I FEEL is that mercy when merrited is fundamentally a good thing. We all do stupid things and threads like these make most of think back on the stupid things we've done. I'm for the most part a good person. As are most of us in this thread. A one time fuck up that is close to not punished does not make a career criminal.

OH, an Anecdote. I fucked up in grade school. Shit don't even remember what I did. Sent to Principal's office. She came out with the paddle. Threatened me with it then sent me back to class. I never went to the Principal's office again. Not because she scared me straight, but because I was a good kid who mixed up in some shit I shouldn't have been in. I saw what COULD be the consequences and steered well clear of bad shit from then on out.

Elementary school was typical American prison for me.

I had a horrible Kindergarten teacher and I was a quiet kid who was bullied all through elementary. I always just retaliated to bullies and ended up being branded a bad kid because I hurt one, that teacher went around to every teacher I ever had telling them how bad I was and to watch out for me, so I was pretty much prejudged by all my teachers except one who told off the kindergarten teacher when I was in 4th grade.

[Deleted]

I'm not sure how Albertsons works but a lot of major retails may not even prosecute on anything under $25 dollars. I know the company i work for, unless you have priors, usually will not prosecute for low dollar amounts.

Don't know about in the US, but I know in the UK the stores prosecute for absolutely anything. Woman over the road from my grandmother got screwed for stealing a jar of coffee.

[DrStiglit]

Don't stress. Felonies are what matter and this is just a misdemeanor..

http://www.pitt.edu/~weinberg/retail.htm

[Aceshigh]

Hi, long time reader, first time poster. I have been reading mmo-champ since they released info about sunwell and all that. I rarely post here.

Im posting now because you guys are not trolls and actually take things seriously.


May 11th, I turned 18. I have never been in trouble with the law before, I live in an upper-middle class neighborhood. I never get in trouble nor do I do drugs. I graduated with honors and am going to college.

on june 3rd, I drove my friend to albertsons. we had just graduated a few days before. I went in the store with him and hes like 'lets steal a bottle' and I said okay. I was nervous, so i just stared at my phone then entire time even while walking. He got the bottle and we went to my car and drove off. Turns out the police were nearby and they got us. They pulled us over and asked where we were coming from and stuff like that. They had us get out of the car and we told them where the bottle was and that we took it. My friend was 17 so he was taken home since his parents werent answering their phone. He gets his record cleared when hes 18.

I was barely 18 when it happened, and im so scared. I got this yellow citation stating my court date, august 28th. it says theft from retailer on it and stuff. I literally do not know what to do. the bottle was 16.99. Im going to have a petty theft thing on my record for the rest of my life, how is this fair? I am not going to get any good job especially if i wanted a government job or a high-trust job. What do i do?

I was thinking of calling albertsons and apologizing but what would I say? they probably wouldnt even care.

How is this fair? You stole something and knew completely what you were doing, you didn't even say no to the guy. That's how it's fair. Actions have consequences.

Now go try to make it right by owning what you did and in the process see if you can work out a deal. Asking "omg how is this fair" doesn't do anything in this case and it kinda shows that you somehow think what you did was ok. Man up, own your mistake and see what you can do to make it better and make it easier on yourself. Something like this shouldn't ruin a person's life, and it won't ruin yours OP, but learn from it.

Option 2 is find a way to fight the charge and be found not guilty, talk to a good lawyer and see if there are any grounds the charge can be thrown out or fought on.

[Thetruth1400]

I'm glad you got caught, maybe now you'll think twice before doing something stupid like that.

This mostly. I'm glad you got caught doing something so stupid, maybe you'll learn from it if nothing comes of it.

As for what you should do, call the owner of the building, tell them what happened, and see if you can work out a deal to get the charges dropped. Apologize, offer to pay for the merchandise, offer to be barred from the store until 21 / life, and then offer to do some community service around the building (eg cleaning around the outside, back room, etc.) to see if that's acceptable to get the charge dropped. Just explain it was a stupid thing you agreed to with a friend, you regret it, and you're sorry and wish to make it up to them.

Hopefully the owner isn't an ass and will work with you so you don't end up with a charge for the rest of your life. Worse case scenario, you can petition the court to have the charge expunged, which will erase it from your record.

[Themius]

This mostly. I'm glad you got caught doing something so stupid, maybe you'll learn from it if nothing comes of it.

As for what you should do, call the owner of the building, tell them what happened, and see if you can work out a deal to get the charges dropped. Apologize, offer to pay for the merchandise, offer to be barred from the store until 21 / life, and then offer to do some community service around the building (eg cleaning around the outside, back room, etc.) to see if that's acceptable to get the charge dropped. Just explain it was a stupid thing you agreed to with a friend, you regret it, and you're sorry and wish to make it up to them.

Hopefully the owner isn't an ass and will work with you so you don't end up with a charge for the rest of your life. Worse case scenario, you can petition the court to have the charge expunged, which will erase it from your record.

I must wonder what about the person who actually stole the item?

Are you fine with him just going back home?

[Tradewind]

Most people know that compassion for stupidity isn't in my vocabulary, so I think it's more or less expected for me to do this...

http://i.imgur.com/CWOuleX.jpg


that said, slap on the wrist at best...don't be an idiot in the future.

[Raintola]

No, it's really no a fair system as simple things that are petty that come from not thinking can horribly ruin your future. It's ridiculous.

The guy was dumb enough to risk ruining his life for a $16.99 drink. Damn right he should be punished for not thinking, especially when not thinking can easily get someone into far worse trouble than a petty theft charge. People gotta think of the consequences.

"Hmm, is this $16.99 drink worth possibly getting into shit with the law? Yes? No?" Not a hard question, at least not for sensible people.

[videotape]

Breaking the law is not the end of the world. You did something stupid. It sounds like you probably got the shit scared out of you for it. Good enough.

There is no reason you should expect to have your life ruined, or even close to ruined, over being accomplice in a petty theft. It's not that serious. If you're apologetic and appear intimidated by law enforcement (which you clearly are), that's pretty much sufficient in this case.

On the other hand if you act like an arrogant dick or attempt to lie your way out of anything, you're going to get shit all over.

[Deleted]

Plead ignorance. You thought he paid for it right? right? right?

[Seezer]

A good lawyer can get you out of anything. If you really care that much about it, cough up the money.

The kid doesn't need a lawyer. At most, he may get a few hours of community service washing cop cars or picking up trash around the store. @OP. Don't stress about it. Someday soon, you'll be surprised you ever worried that much about it. It's not a thing. Yeah, you're 18, but you're still a kid. And kids do dumb shit.

[Nevertrap]

He wouldnt have been able to pay for it because we are not 21. we have the money and everything we just arent allowed to buy it so we just took it. we were thinking of dropping money on the floor on the way out but we didnt.

[Wakwazu]

The first thing you need to do is stop using the word "literally" wrong.

The second thing you need to do is suck it up, and take responsibility for your mistake.

[Jeethi]

I hope they punish you and you'll go to jail or something. You are such an idiot for stealing! But I doubt that will ever happen..

Infracted.