Worst game ever.

[strugler]

Worst gameS ever? The countless Mahjong games that were in the Gameboy compilation cartridges. If you were born in the 80's you will know what i'm talking about

[Adam Jensen]

You think chess is bad? Try Checkers, that game takes homogenization to the next level.

Tic Tac Toe is even worse, against a good opponent, you often can't even win or lose.

[Afrospinach]

Tic Tac Toe is even worse, against a good opponent, you often can't even win or lose.

Quite certain it is impossible to "win" tic tac toe unless you are playing a doormat.

[Vankrys]

9/10, love the trolling, had me a good laugh.
you got me at "chess has no story", i knew where this was going.
you lost one point for the "animation argument, didn't find it compelling"
nice read



a bit sad though people above me didn't understand the humor.

[unholytestament]

Quite certain it is impossible to "win" tic tac toe unless you are playing a doormat.

The only winning move...

[Noorri]

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys.

Chess is not a RPG. It was developed by humans.

Right away you’ll notice Chess has no storyline.

It doesn't pretend to have a storyline, so having no storyline is not a negativ.

Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the “a battlefield,” because Chess only has one story map.

Chess has never claimed to have different areas, and I am fairly certain this isn't normally complaints about any game ever.

As for the actual combat, it’s extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren’t even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it’s space and “captures” it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects.
Yawn.

Chess has never claimed to have interesting combat mechanics, instead focusing on tactical gameplay. Special effects and animation is impossible in a physical board game.

Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can’t do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit.
The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They’re fucking hard to use cause they jump around like bitches to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn’t jump around like that in real life.

There are no classes in chess. The unique movement patterns and initial position of each piece is what makes chess one of the most complex games in the world. The queen is useless without proper support, and since both players have equal pieces at the start all your points here are mute. Ninjas were essentially the secret agents of feudal Japan, and never had anything to do with the type of battlefields that chess is loosely supposed to emulate. The knight is supposed to simulate the erratic movement that cavalery could exhibit on the battlefield, which again is a loose emulation and alot of realism is sacrificed for complex tactical gameplay.

Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn’t be a problem, except that he can’t move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him.

The king is the weak spot, which creates a complex balance of using your pieces for both defense and offense at the same time and makes the tactical choices far more complex. It's an integral part of the design.

Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money.
3 out of 10.

Chess has no classes, has tactically complex gameplay and a game is as long or short as you want them to be by setting time-limits. Chess can easily be essentially free by taking a few pieces of paper and something to draw with. Make a playing grid on one piece of paper and cut another piece of paper into pieces and draw marks on them to denote what piece it is.

You are wrong.

[Vankrys]

You are wrong.

you dummy. Can't you see he's joking.


OP, you could have mentioned about borring level design and lack of customization. ^^

[Deleted]

Chess is not a RPG. It was developed by humans.


It doesn't pretend to have a storyline, so having no storyline is not a negativ.


Chess has never claimed to have different areas, and I am fairly certain this isn't normally complaints about any game ever.



Chess has never claimed to have interesting combat mechanics, instead focusing on tactical gameplay. Special effects and animation is impossible in a physical board game.


There are no classes in chess. The unique movement patterns and initial position of each piece is what makes chess one of the most complex games in the world. The queen is useless without proper support, and since both players have equal pieces at the start all your points here are mute. Ninjas were essentially the secret agents of feudal Japan, and never had anything to do with the type of battlefields that chess is loosely supposed to emulate. The knight is supposed to simulate the erratic movement that cavalery could exhibit on the battlefield, which again is a loose emulation and alot of realism is sacrificed for complex tactical gameplay.


The king is the weak spot, which creates a complex balance of using your pieces for both defense and offense at the same time and makes the tactical choices far more complex. It's an integral part of the design.


Chess has no classes, has tactically complex gameplay and a game is as long or short as you want them to be by setting time-limits. Chess can easily be essentially free by taking a few pieces of paper and something to draw with. Make a playing grid on one piece of paper and cut another piece of paper into pieces and draw marks on them to denote what piece it is.

You are wrong.

Can't tell if Troll or just retarded?

[Bigtimmy]

You are wrong.

In order to maintain what little faith I have left in humanity, I'm really hoping this guy is just playing along with the OP.

REALLY hoping.

[Venziir]

Granted, the OP isn't exactly funny, but come on... You people actually think he's being serious? Oh sweet jeebus...

[unholytestament]

Granted, the OP isn't exactly funny, but come on... You people actually think he's being serious? Oh sweet jeebus...

You think chess is a joke, son?!

[Noorri]

I was bored and not in the mood to be trolled so I took him seriously. The best defense (against trolls) is a good offense (using trolling).

[Drithien]

You are wrong.

No, you are wrong. Wrong in not being in the spirit of the thread. Which constitutes all your input invalid by default.

Such a killjoy. Do you go around malls at Christmas telling kids in line for Santa that he is not real as well?

(also joking, don't hit me!)

[RoninaThorstone]

Knights are OP.

[Shadowlance]

Thanks OP, I had a laugh

[Vokal]

all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield.

Whoa dude.

[Vankrys]

You think chess is a joke, son?!

Chess is serious business

[theburned]

Quite certain it is impossible to "win" tic tac toe unless you are playing a doormat.

the trick is to never put in the middle btw

[Treeskee]

You guys should all stop hating on Chess, does no one remember that they were nice enough to not put Day 1 DLC out for it at least?

[Vankrys]

You guys should all stop hating on Chess, does no one remember that they were nice enough to not put Day 1 DLC out for it at least?

chess is loaded with DLC

wooden board and pieces, glass, metal, plastic. beside it's all cosmetic DLC, it add no content whatsover.
you even have electronic chess with UI addons and combat log parser.