1. #1

    Would you ask her?

    Hi guys,

    As you may know from the title itself this is a question about asking someone out! in this case being a female, So I have known this girl for a few months and when we were introduced we were introduced by friends as they thought we would work well together... initially I had no idea what she would look like, however she perfectly and well knew what I looked like, at First I wasn't very fond of her but while talking to her I really got to know her we speak probably around a bit too much that's it's unhealthy. 4-6 hours a day... yes we're strange people.

    I was going to ask her out before however on the day not too long before I was about to ask her things didn't end well that night as an argument took place, of course since then everything has been fine and we still talk and talk. However the concerning part is she's never been out with a guy ever before thus being the first guy to ask her out might prove a bit of a challenge, Now you have a bit of a backlog I leave you with a question. I myself am thinking of asking her out when I take her out for her Birthday, ps... yes it will only be me and her, whenever we go out it's usually me and her. Due to culture etc we aren't able to go out much so we have probably been out 3 to 4 times before, sadly the culture me and this girl grow up in often it is not that people go out together in-essence be it friends or relationship due to parental pressures so roughly every 3 weeks or go someone may go out. Would you risk asking a Girl out on her Birthday, if you were in similar circumstances or would you wait for a more appropriate time?

  2. #2
    "Culture". What culture? Muslims can get pretty stabby and murdery about their daughters "honor". So if that, i'd say no.
    Otherwise, sure why not.

  3. #3
    Bloodsail Admiral Nillah's Avatar
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    Just ask her out. Either she's been waiting for you to ask this whole time or she's already decided you're "friendzoned," either way you'll find out.

    Especially since you're not able to hang out often, do it while you can.

  4. #4
    Her opinion of you is basically set in stone by now. So it's time to figure out exactly what that opinion is... seriously.

  5. #5
    I'd of banged her by now. Hope this helps.

  6. #6
    Culture in this case being just up-bringing, Not to do with Religion

  7. #7
    Not on a birthday. It is like one of the worst times you could do that.

  8. #8
    Not on her birthday, no.

  9. #9
    Scarab Lord Mokoshne's Avatar
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    you sound like a nice guy. i hope it all goes well for you.
    My weekly podcast can be downloaded here this week i'm going to Comic Con Australia in beautiful Sydney!

  10. #10
    I would try to meet her family first and have them warm up to you first. The more they get to know you the harder it will be for them to be angry at you for dating her. You might want to ask her dad or brother first if you think it will help.

    Good luck.

  11. #11
    Sorry to say, and dont get me wrong, im no racist or anything. When you mention the word "culture" and "parentel" i think of islam, and if that's the case, my friend, i woulden't touch that with a 20 foot stick.

    as said above, muslims can get very personal and up close, if you know what i mean.

    my 10 cents
    Lagg dosen't exist. Only bad Internetz...
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  12. #12
    It sounds like youve already been out a few times so all you need to do is go on another date that is more obviously a date. Your friends set you up, she might think you are dating right now. Another thing you could do is get her an appropriate gift for her birthday but if you want to have a date near that time do not mention that it is because of her birthday.

  13. #13
    ''girls will find plenty of reasons not to go out with you, you dont need to find any for them''




    ie. no need to talk yourself out of something you want to do, shes a person and can decide herself

  14. #14
    Thank you guys thus far, for a constructive response been helpful.

  15. #15
    Titan Nixx's Avatar
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    Out of curiosity, what culture? I know in class we talked about Indian culture generally discouraging dating in favor of letting parents arrange or help arrange marriages. I believe there was a similar standard for other Asian cultures, though Indian seems perhaps a bit distinct.

  16. #16
    It is in-fact Indian culture, however parents discourage merely going out often, Cultural thing Indian parents don't want their children going out often rather common. But in terms of parents arranging marriages finding a partner etc, Parents have told both of us can go out with others, however we feel happy with no arranged marriage. Arranged marriages are something which still do take place in the Indian culture but not very often in the Western side some people do but not many, It's more within the Villages.

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Daruler View Post
    It is in-fact Indian culture, however parents discourage merely going out often, Cultural thing Indian parents don't want their children going out often rather common. But in terms of parents arranging marriages finding a partner etc, Parents have told both of us can go out with others, however we feel happy with no arranged marriage. Arranged marriages are something which still do take place in the Indian culture but not very often in the Western side some people do but not many, It's more within the Villages.
    Sometimes, just sometimes, you just need to look at things a bit easy.

    You two talk a lot together, you like her, she likes you? ASK HER OUT, MAN!

    The pasts parents are completely different then the new age people growing up right now, the future is changing, with the youth of today and those being born in early 1980's and up.
    The strong type deciding parents growing up from the 1960s and early 1970s will be gone in 10-30 years, or at least grown rather old.

    You live one life, one life. God might be true, Allah might be true (or whatever religion you can think of), reincarnation might be true, but the life you have right now, in the body you are in right now, will only be lived once.
    That's a firm fact if there ever was one, at least in my mind.

    Act while you have this life, of course, don't act on stupidity, but act before you sit there as an old person, not knowing what happened to your life, because time moves by quickly.

    That's my advice for you

    - - - Updated - - -

    I don't like to throw around my personal life to strangers over the internet, even when anonymous, but you seem like a decent person so I'll just have a go for once.

    I started talking to this lovely woman over the internet from halfway around the world two and half / three years ago.
    Within months, I got on a plane, went to meet her and her parents.
    Later she came back to my country with me to get a feel for how things are here.

    Skip forward to today, we are married, living in my country, having a good and happy life together.
    Her parents gave me their blessing to marry her, and that mean't a lot to me.

    Sure, we argue once in a while and go a bit grrr at eachother, but most everyone does, it's part of life.
    Though deep within our hearts we have such a strong love for eachother, that nothing, and no one, will tear apart.

    Might sound a bit cliché, it's the reality for me at least.

    I took a chance, it succeeded, sometimes it doesn't, but HEY, at least I gave it a try.
    Aslong as one tries, one should not regret anything ... ANYTHING. ( Aslong as what you are doing isn't illegal! )
    Last edited by Kunisan; 2013-09-04 at 06:42 PM.
    Field Marshal, YUH, 'nuff said.
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  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Kunisan View Post
    Sometimes, just sometimes, you just need to look at things a bit easy.

    You two talk a lot together, you like her, she likes you? ASK HER OUT, MAN!

    The pasts parents are completely different then the new age people growing up right now, the future is changing, with the youth of today and those being born in early 1980's and up.
    The strong type deciding parents growing up from the 1960s and early 1970s will be gone in 10-30 years, or at least grown rather old.

    You live one life, one life. God might be true, Allah might be true (or whatever religion you can think of), reincarnation might be true, but the life you have right now, in the body you are in right now, will only be lived once.
    That's a firm fact if there ever was one, at least in my mind.

    Act while you have this life, of course, don't act on stupidity, but act before you sit there as an old person, not knowing what happened to your life, because time moves by quickly.

    That's my advice for you

    - - - Updated - - -

    I don't like to throw around my personal life to strangers over the internet, even when anonymous, but you seem like a decent person so I'll just have a go for once.

    I started talking to this lovely woman over the internet from halfway around the world two and half / three years ago.
    Within months, I got on a plane, went to meet her and her parents.
    Later she came back to my country with me to get a feel for how things are here.

    Skip forward to today, we are married, living in my country, having a good and happy life together.
    Her parents gave me their blessing to marry her, and that mean't a lot to me.

    Sure, we argue once in a while and go a bit grrr at eachother, but most everyone does, it's part of life.
    Though deep within our hearts we have such a strong love for eachother, that nothing, and no one, will tear apart.

    Might sound a bit cliché, it's the reality for me at least.

    I took a chance, it succeeded, sometimes it doesn't, but HEY, at least I gave it a try.
    Aslong as one tries, one should not regret anything ... ANYTHING. ( Aslong as what you are doing isn't illegal! )
    Thank you for the reply It was truly a eye opening response, I truly understand where you're coming from it's an opportunity which is there to seized. And it's worth taking a chance, and if things don't go so well at least I would know . Life is ofc for living and not for mere contemplation over the associated risks with taking an opportunity. And this is a chance I will take, Thanks again.

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