1. #1

    Need social skill improvement

    At the moment my social skills are horrible. I dont know why. I think its have social anxiety. But the thing is i love talking to people but when i talk to people i come off as awkward because i have no idea what to say.. I cant have a normal conversation with anybody. I hate this with a passion and i want to change but it feels like i can never improve. Seems like everyone else accept me doesnt have trouble having a conversation.. even a retard probably has better skills then me and im really smart.

    Can public speaking classes in highschool help? what can i do to build my social skills? please help me...

    this is pathetic i know but i've been desperate lately and Mmo champion has active members that reply fast so thats why im asking here

  2. #2
    Scarab Lord Puck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tangosuckaa View Post
    Can public speaking classes in highschool help?
    Very much so. If you can talk for extended lengths of time in front of an entire audience, then talking to a person one on one becomes far easier.

    what can i do to build my social skills? please help me...
    The only way to improve your social skills is to be more social. A great way to start is simply going to social gatherings with friends. You can also do community work or volunteer somewhere that exposes you to others and promotes group work.

    this is pathetic i know but i've been desperate lately and Mmo champion has active members that reply fast so thats why im asking here
    Nah, asking for help isn't pathetic.

  3. #3
    No idea why you'd want to be social *shudder* but the best advice I could probably give would be to relax. You're going to come off as a lot more awkward if you're panicking trying to think of things to say. Just take it slow, and relax. Other than that the only real way to improve is to get out there and talk to people. That, or talk to yourself in a mirror. It probably sounds crazy (it probably is...) but it can help nonetheless. I talk to myself all the time, not in a mirror, but just while I'm sitting at my desk. I must say, I have awesome conversations with myself. Perhaps if you had awesome conversations with yourself it would help you when you're interacting with other people... Just make sure not to talk to yourself too much in public, if you do at least pretend you have one of those Blue tooth things.

  4. #4
    Brewmaster Lazuli's Avatar
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    Try vent, simply talking to people in games can help you socialize, because well, it's socializing. You can go to any kind of place that has people to bullshit with. I strike up random conversations all the time at the bar and 99% chance we become friends. Is it awkward for you with girls or both sexes? Either way, don't try too hard. Some silence is good, not everyone is going to convo 24/7. If you are walking down the street and pass someone, say hey hows it goin? Most the time that doesn't turn into a convo but it might help.

    Me and my friends talk about stuff that is so random it's mind bottling (You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?), it doesn't have to make sense just be interesting to talk about. I'm anti-social myself, and although it may not be healthy I can only really have long convos when I'm drinking because I feel much more relaxed. Through the years I've taught myself not to worry too much though. What I hate personally is going out in public by myself, not the talking part.

    It's not pathetic btw, I've asked MMO-C all kinds of random shit. Love these forums :P
    Quote Originally Posted by KungFuFanta
    Oh my god, a company tries to put some lore flavor into the game mechanics, all is lost, whatever shall we do without a whole 1% of crit or haste.

    Quick, call Ukraine and Russia, let them know to put their conflict on standby because Touch of Elune is BULLSHIT!

  5. #5
    Drink about 8 of these :


  6. #6
    Imagine the person you'd be if you were more socially skilled and play that role like an actor. Playing creates a wall between you and reality that makes it easier. Then it will become natural.

  7. #7
    "I'm cute/gorgeous."
    "I'm really smart."

    I think I found your problem:
    Try listening. Try focusing on other people. Try to make things not about you. You don't need to prove anything, you do NOT need our approval or affirmation. It's not about you.

    I hope that helped.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Stir View Post
    Try listening. Try focusing on other people. Try to make things not about you. You don't need to prove anything, you do NOT need our approval or affirmation. It's not about you.
    (except sometimes, but that's in interactions where it's ok to make it 100% about yourself temporarily, e.g., talking about a breakup to a best friend or something).

    Basically, people are just going to assume you're intelligent, that you interact in a "normal" way, that you're comfortable with it. Until you prove otherwise. If you need help socializing from total strangers... the advice above is good. Just hang out and listen. Respond if you have something pertinent to say, or start a conversation if something strikes you and you're comfortable with it. You might seem like the quiet weirdo sitting there, but don't let that stress you out... instead, keep listening.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gheld View Post
    If anybody is thinking of buying me a gift I would much rather they just donate that money to charity instead.
    cheese fondue

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by belfpala View Post
    (except sometimes, but that's in interactions where it's ok to make it 100% about yourself temporarily, e.g., talking about a breakup to a best friend or something).

    Basically, people are just going to assume you're intelligent, that you interact in a "normal" way, that you're comfortable with it. Until you prove otherwise. If you need help socializing from total strangers... the advice above is good. Just hang out and listen. Respond if you have something pertinent to say, or start a conversation if something strikes you and you're comfortable with it. You might seem like the quiet weirdo sitting there, but don't let that stress you out... instead, keep listening.
    you got a point, do you think public speaking classes in high school helps with my problem?

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by tangosuckaa View Post
    you got a point, do you think public speaking classes in high school helps with my problem?
    With your confidence maybe.

    But individual social interaction is nothing like public speaking. At least it shouldn't be.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gheld View Post
    If anybody is thinking of buying me a gift I would much rather they just donate that money to charity instead.
    cheese fondue

  11. #11
    Join some sort of club with a common interest social activities come a bit easier.

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Puck View Post
    Very much so. If you can talk for extended lengths of time in front of an entire audience, then talking to a person one on one becomes far easier.
    I was the most shy fuck around when I started college, I couldn't hold a conversation 1 to 1 because it was just to awkward, and I definetely couldn't talk to girls. But I could get on stage and talk to the entire school, which I did when I ran for student council.
    I think social skills (which I actively taught myself) and stagefright are different things entirely. It's possible that they are commonly mutually inclusive, but I don't believe practicing one will improve the other. That's just my experience. Taking the class is still beneficial.

    I also have a friend who is good at social interaction, but he gets on a stage (classroom presentation or whatever) and he just shuts off. He had the same problem when he was having his oral exams in college, even though it was a one on one (actually two on one but you get the point) it was still his lack of skills presenting something to an audience that was just absent.
    Last edited by pucGG; 2013-09-08 at 11:25 PM.

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by tangosuckaa View Post
    Seems like everyone else accept me doesnt have trouble having a conversation.. even a retard probably has better skills then me and im really smart.
    *except
    *doesn't
    *than
    *I'm
    *use of the word "retard" is socially unacceptable.

    Your overblown ego regarding your own intelligence probably isn't helping you any in said social situations.

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by eja216 View Post
    *except
    *doesn't
    *than
    *I'm
    *use of the word "retard" is socially unacceptable.

    Your overblown ego regarding your own intelligence probably isn't helping you any in said social situations.
    yes, which is why i need help figuring out how to deal with this.. i feel like im losing my mind

  15. #15
    I can only speak from experience, seeing as I've been on the same boat. My advice is, start acting it. Act confident, act like you don't care about rejection, and you won't.
    One thing I've discovered in my life so far, is that when you're in a certain fixed environment, e.g highschool, it's very hard to get rid of a stigma. If you've been labaled a loser, as long as you're in that environment (because youth/kids are shallow) you're gonna have a hard time escaping the stigma. So what I have seen happen multiple times (including with myself) is that people make an active effort to change their image when they start college. And it seems to work, because you're not in the same environment anymore, you're not surrounded by the people who know you as "the loser", "the jock", "the gamer" or any label for that matter.
    I'm not saying you have to wait years to change who you are, because idk if you're a freshmen, senior or w/e, these are just observations I've made over time.

    Oh btw, this should go without saying, but having friends is the absolute key ingredient, and I've assumed you have friends when I wrote my response, but in the odd chance that you don't, that's where you should start.

  16. #16
    I assume you're an average, white, 16-20 year old male.
    You should make comedic twerk videos on the internet. Maybe put on a few pounds for that extra oomf. People will come up to you and start the conversations for you at that point. Apparently it's all the rage.
    Here's how to draw inspiration to stand out from the usual twerking scene http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=CddMD3QqTFs


    Or you could just ask people they're interests, make them do the talking, and then talk about things or ideas that stand out to you and ask questions instead of making idle chatter. Not having someone worth questioning is a sign that you shouldn't hang out with that person. Someone you want to ask a lot of questions about should lead to you eventually asking "What're you doing <tomorrow / this week / this month>"

    Oh, yeah, and if they don't ever ask any questions in return once they're done talking about themselves that's up to you to find out if they are just being nice and you shouldn't worry about imperssing them, or if their mind doesn't work that way (on that particular day, even)
    Last edited by Confirm Deny; 2013-09-09 at 12:17 AM.
    It wasn't long ago / I was just like you / And now I think I'm sick and I wanna go home!
    Quote Originally Posted by Unoriginal View Post
    what if SEARING WOLVES? The possibilities?!!?

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by tangosuckaa View Post
    At the moment my social skills are horrible. I dont know why. I think its have social anxiety. But the thing is i love talking to people but when i talk to people i come off as awkward because i have no idea what to say.. I cant have a normal conversation with anybody. I hate this with a passion and i want to change but it feels like i can never improve. Seems like everyone else accept me doesnt have trouble having a conversation.. even a retard probably has better skills then me and im really smart.

    Can public speaking classes in highschool help? what can i do to build my social skills? please help me...

    this is pathetic i know but i've been desperate lately and Mmo champion has active members that reply fast so thats why im asking here
    First of all, this is not pathetic in anyway. It is a very common issue experienced by many people and the good news it is completely treatable.

    To give you some immediate tips, whenever you feel anxious focus on your breathing and the content you want to deliver. This way you will avoid focusing on the internal feelings that just don't help you in anyway. Also, if you do love talking to people then keep doing it. Those negative feelings will go away the more you do it and feel more comfortable.

    And if you want someone to help you remove your anxieties and feel more confident then check out my profile for public speaking course

  18. #18
    Speak truthfully and it should come out fine, I mean somebody asks you how you are doing, do just that. Tell them how you are doing.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by ctd123 View Post
    Drink about 8 of these :


    That is sage advice.

    I'll be drinking a few of those when I head to Netherlands/Germany next month.

    Being social rules!

  20. #20
    You can learn how to be better at social interaction just by doing it a lot. When I was younger I had similar problems, but today I'm quite normal.

    Quote Originally Posted by ctd123 View Post
    Drink about 8 of these :

    As sad as it is to admit, I was able to outgrow my social anxiety (didn't we just call this being shy?) and mild autism due to setting it as a goal for myself to get rid of this imperfection and this goal was stimulated (not intentionally) by a heavy amount of hard drugs and alcohol which gotten me to loosen up and talk about all my fears and problems. It was basically like therapy for me, though the risk was getting addicted. But luckily that never happened and now I'm a happy young man.

    I don't recommend anyone to try the same method though, it's probably a poor one. But it surely helped me.

    At the end of the day it's about accepting who you are and feeling comfortable being yourself. Once you get that confidence, social interaction becomes easy. Gone is the pressure to act a certain way. Stop overthinking things.

    Yes, that's easier said than done, I know. But you're probably still young, so just like it took me a few years to overcome this obstacle, likewise it probably won't go away overnight for you either. But you can work on it, that's the most important thing. Keep trying, don't give up and simply accept you are missing certain skills and aren't ever going to get them. Try to learn, step by step. And you are going to continue to make mistakes, but you can learn from those mistakes and improve.

    To be honest, it's quite shocking how much you can change if you really put your mind to it. I always feared giving public speeches, but now I do it semi-regularly for my job. I also feared talking to girls when I was young, but now I have lots of female friends. I feared talking to strangers, but I've been going out on the weekend just by myself for the most part of the last few years and I always meet new people and have a blast. It's scary how much people can change if they really want to.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by pucGG View Post
    Oh btw, this should go without saying, but having friends is the absolute key ingredient, and I've assumed you have friends when I wrote my response, but in the odd chance that you don't, that's where you should start.
    For me the biggest changes happened when I told my friends to f*ck off and started living my own life. That built some serious confidence, as instead of leaning on my friends I had the responsibility and freedom to be myself. But I guess everyone works differently. Simply talking and having fun with friends are a good first few steps.

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