Extreme sexism in pug RBGs

[Duronos]

Okay I feel for you females that get screwed (not literally) around with by guys. I sort of remember that happening when I played WoW though I was much younger when I raided and kind of was just that cute under 18 kid. I've been playing LoL recently a lot with a French girl and I try to make myself seem as normal as possible because I never want to give any vibe that I'm flirting or thinking she's shit because she's a female. If there's one thing I notice about video games, they are non-physical and a female can be just as a good as any male at a game. I still remember what it's like to raid when I heard the sausages all somehow wanting to talk the girl, I just stayed out of it and didn't really understand why they were. We were raiding and we were a good bunch of friends, not lets flirt with every female in the raid.

[Sparkwix]

I use Oq a lot and have seen a fair few women throughout the groups. Only time i've seen them get harassed was when our leader was a woman who "didn't believe in ready checks" (her words exactly). Two people ended up missing the pop, needless to say, members of the group were kind of annoyed.

[Immy]

Greetings m'lady. Would you care to grab a dish of supper and afterwards participate in the viewing of a motion picture together some time?

But seriously, I see these kind of socially awkward people everywhere. Despite the increase of female gamers (or perhaps, more prominent female audience), guys still act like it is a rare occasion to encounter a girl online. From a guy pov: Don't really bear them any mind. Just interact with them as you would with any other person in your life and if they give you shit, give them shit back.

Generally these sexist comments are made to establish dominance of some kind, whether it is towards the other men in the group or over you. If you can hold your own versus them, most of the time they'll be taken aback. To be fair, if a guy makes such comments, he should expect that ball be thrown back at him.
And this isn't advise for just women, basically anyone can do this.

That's some good advice! That attitude definitely makes you feel confident and right I should have pointed out that I was a higher rating than all of them..

Thanks for the replies guys, I'm glad this isn't a common thing. I feel a lot more relieved now that it seems that these guys are just a bunch of jerks.

[Immy]

I have to agree that it was a rather self-fulfilling prophecy. You let their dumb ass remarks get to you and then missed an important notice, messing up and then they called you out on it. They are morons, though, to not at least give you a chance in the first place. They are contributing to the toxicity of the multiplayer community.

Yeah I totally messed up there.. Hopefully it can be learnt from!

[Dazzy]

I just had the worst WoW experience of my life, after playing the game for 6+ years.

I was invited to a 1800-2.2k rbg group by my friend. I do fear speaking in Skype with randoms as I've experienced sexism many times in pvp on WoW. They did a mic check, and I was hesitating on speaking, but in the end I spoke and they all found out that I was a girl. Now, I'm not low-rated or anything; I have Gladiator and am currently 2.1k rated and I do not expect to get carried by anyone. But the first thing they said upon finding out I was a girl was, "Oh, it's a girl. We're going to lose" "Don't want to carry some dumb bitch" and some mimicking of my voice ensued. And of course, I was very shocked and taken aback.

This caused me to be completely quiet throughout the game and I ended up not paying attention to their calls. I missed their call on asking me to peel back from the flag and then all hell went loose. I had 3 people yelling at me calling me retarded, stupid and worst of all, "she's a girl she can't listen for shit". I had one of them whispering me calling me retarded and an idiot and I was trying to defend myself, saying that I accidentally wasn't listening because everyone was being so mean. I got kicked from the call and I promptly left the group in the middle of the bg.

I really should have left at the first hint of sexism but I wanted so badly to prove them wrong, and only made things worse.

This is the first pug rbg I've done and it's made me very afraid to do any more. Have any of you girls or guys out there had any experiences/witnessed something like this or was I just incredibly unlucky?

You should probably try to play with people that are over 13.

[Belize]

Greetings m'lady. Would you care to grab a dish of supper and afterwards participate in the viewing of a motion picture together some time?

But seriously, I see these kind of socially awkward people everywhere. Despite the increase of female gamers (or perhaps, more prominent female audience), guys still act like it is a rare occasion to encounter a girl online. From a guy pov: Don't really bear them any mind. Just interact with them as you would with any other person in your life and if they give you shit, give them shit back.

Generally these sexist comments are made to establish dominance of some kind, whether it is towards the other men in the group or over you. If you can hold your own versus them, most of the time they'll be taken aback. To be fair, if a guy makes such comments, he should expect that ball be thrown back at him.
And this isn't advise for just women, basically anyone can do this.

Holy hell, I'm stealing that first line.

OT: There are no girls on the internet right But seriously, I don't understand why 1. people get upset over being called names on the internet. I mean seriously, aren't those bullies tough they can do what they want because of anonymity. And 2. why is it still a big deal to be female and be playing video games? Seriously, half my guild leaders were female and they were usually more competent than the male guild leaders

[hellosaltygoodness]

Yeah I totally messed up there.. Hopefully it can be learnt from!

no, you didn't mess up. their verbal abuse of you is what caused the problem. you did not. you tuned out people who were verbally abusing you. you did the right thing.

[Ihnasir]

I've never done PvP with a girl that was good.

[Immy]

no, you didn't mess up. their verbal abuse of you is what caused the problem. you did not. you tuned out people who were verbally abusing you. you did the right thing.

hmm I never thought of it that way.. I guess I didn't notice myself tuning out either or I definitely wouldn't have

[Shadocaster]

This applies.



those grouped with you are in the middle.

[Immy]

It's not like it's a career on the line or even a reputation really that requires you stay in and deal with the abuse. When you see vitriol aimed at you because you're a woman, just leave. You don't give them a chance to mess with you, you don't waste time arguing with them, and you don't have to carry a bunch of disrespectful wankers anyways because even if you did everything right and awesome you'd get no praise from them, and ultimately who cares if they praise you, their praise is worthless.

I think this would have avoided everything! I really should've thought like that. Thanks

[Olianda]

This is going to sound godawful harsh, and for that I'm sorry...

You've experienced sexism many times, but "don't want to carry some dumb bitch" shocked you, and made you not listen to calls? You said you were "accidentally not listening"... I've gotten kicked from RBGs before for failing at a call, that's what you did. It wasn't that you were a female, it was that you screwed up.

There's sexism o'plenty in RBGs, and raiding too, but realistically if you have group you know, it's pretty damn rare.

[Polybius]

I wonder, you mentioned receiving offensive whispers. So does making a ticket work for this massive abuse? I understand you can right-click and report, but can a report be made for a large group of oppressors? I know other games wouldn't tolerate or ignore this kind of behavior.

[Immy]

This applies.



those grouped with you are in the middle.

LOL I think right now I would love to be playing with the "I have no idea what I'm doing" group.

[hellosaltygoodness]

hmm I never thought of it that way.. I guess I didn't notice myself tuning out either or I definitely wouldn't have

lol we're sooo much different. if it was me i would have *intentionally* sabotaged their game.

[Polybius]

lol we're sooo much different. if it was me i would have *intentionally* sabotaged their game.

Definitely. Balance things with chaos.

[Duronos]

even in a physical competition, a female can be just as good as any male

Of course, I'd get my ass whooped by any basketball player of any gender etc. My point was referring to at the highest level of play in doesn't matter for video games... For sports, it's not even sexist to say men are much better at peak condition than females, that's just biology.

[Immy]

This is going to sound godawful harsh, and for that I'm sorry...

You've experienced sexism many times, but "don't want to carry some dumb bitch" shocked you, and made you not listen to calls? You said you were "accidentally not listening"... I've gotten kicked from RBGs before for failing at a call, that's what you did. It wasn't that you were a female, it was that you screwed up.

There's sexism o'plenty in RBGs, and raiding too, but realistically if you have group you know, it's pretty damn rare.

That's alright, it's good to hear both sides, I posted this thread so others can share on the topic.

It shocked me because it was much, much harsher than I'd ever experienced. It was literally yelled at me. I've experienced sexism, but only to the part where you're assumed to be bad because you're a girl and no abuse is really said apart from the odd, small remark that's easy to ignore. About the being kicked part, I guess they're not inherently wrong to kick me for that, but it was in the end because I tuned out due to their remarks. I didn't mind at all being kicked though. :P

[Khaza-R]

This is going to sound godawful harsh, and for that I'm sorry...

You've experienced sexism many times, but "don't want to carry some dumb bitch" shocked you, and made you not listen to calls? You said you were "accidentally not listening"... I've gotten kicked from RBGs before for failing at a call, that's what you did. It wasn't that you were a female, it was that you screwed up.

There's sexism o'plenty in RBGs, and raiding too, but realistically if you have group you know, it's pretty damn rare.

I disagree entirely. Its hard for people to focus or play well when someone has a couple of toxic players scrutinizing their every move. Its like trying to paint a masterpiece with someone standing behind you criticizing your every brushstroke. Of course you're going to make a shitty painting.

[Deleted]

Well I hope you reported the ones that whispered to you, I would have tried to lure them all into insulting me in WoW chat so I could report them all.