Shared economy or not?

[Deleted]

This is hilarious.

It's not a crime, i never claimed it to be one.

But it's "Morally" abhorrent, that you'd treat a partner like so in a relationship.

That you'd be willing to absorb his finances (Which would be more than what you posses) yet not the other way round, him making less and sharing an account... That's just boneheaded greed.

It really is, quite disgusting of your character.

When you enter a relationship you intrinsically trust the other partner, you have sex with them, you sleep with them and you live with them.

Yet you refuse, in the most disgusting way possible - to fully co-exist with them, that being merging accounts financially.

And why? Because he makes less money than you, and you can't trust him.

You even posted if it was the other way round, him making more than you that you'd be like a dog in heat - that is, jumping all over him to grab that money.

I think its your way of thinking that's disgusting. Money has nothing to do with love. If you're in a relationship with someone, you shouldn't expect them to share their wealth you you, that person should be enough, not her or his wealth.

Not only that but people change, people fall out of love, get tired of each other. You can never see be sure that it will last forever and there are usually a lot of bad feelings when people break up, some even want revenge or use money to control their partner. Even if I trust someone completely I can never be sure that he wont change hes mind a year from now.. or 10 years later.

[Deleted]

I think its your way of thinking that's disgusting. Money has nothing to do with love. If you're in a relationship with someone, you shouldn't expect them to share their wealth you you, that person should be enough, not her or his wealth.

Not only that but people change, people fall out of love, get tired of each other. You can never see be sure that it will last forever and there are usually a lot of bad feelings when people break up, some even want revenge or use money to control their partner. Even if I trust someone completely I can never be sure that he wont change hes mind a year from now.. or 10 years later.

I think its your way of thinking that's disgusting

Nah, pretty sure that's society.

Money has nothing to do with love.

Congratulations for stating the obvious, i've never said it has.

If you're in a relationship with someone, you shouldn't expect them to share their wealth you you, that person should be enough, not her or his wealth.

Indeed, except i've never said that a partner should be obliged to - we're under the assumption they've already spoke and agreed upon it.

Not only that but people change, people fall out of love, get tired of each other.

Just as i take dumps, that's an inevitable factor of life.

You can never see be sure that it will last forever and there are usually a lot of bad feelings when people break up, some even want revenge or use money to control their partner.

Like you then?

If were married and hes got a bigger income, I wouldn't have a problem with it though. There's nothing to lose in that case, even if he turns out to be dishonest, cheats or we want to get divorced.

Even if I trust someone completely I can never be sure that he wont change hes mind a year from now.. or 10 years later

That you seem so paranoid is sad, relationships wither and die.

Paranoia that it'll end before it's time will create considerable issues.

[Deleted]

That you seem so paranoid is sad, relationships wither and die.

Paranoia that it'll end before it's time will create considerable issues.

Well, you're a cat so what you say doesn't count. Actually why am I even talking to a cat?

But I guess you're right, I am paranoid.. Im not sure if its a bad thing or good though.

[Radux]

Been married for nearly 3 years (no kids), and we've had a joint bank account together for even longer than that.

I think we got our first bank account together after a year of being together? Somewhere around there?

As it is, my wife manages the bills and stuff from our account, and I manage our long term investments/IRA's/retirement funds (that aren't directly tied to work 401k's and such). Works well enough.

[Deleted]

Well, you're a cat so what you say doesn't count. Actually why am I even talking to a cat?

But I guess you're right, I am paranoid.. Im not sure if its a bad thing or good though.

Correction, i'm a cat with a monocle and top hat.

I think it's probably best to leave it here, we've exhausted our replies and it'll only devolve into certain areas i don't wish to tread.

[Deleted]

Correction, i'm a cat with a monocle and top hat.

I think it's probably best to leave it here, we've exhausted our replies and it'll only devolve into certain areas i don't wish to tread.

I agree.. but I think you jump to conclusions too fast. Calling me golddigger was just insulting but I do have trust issues and am paranoid.

[Deleted]

I agree.. but I think you jump to conclusions too fast. Calling me golddigger was just insulting but I do have trust issues and am paranoid.

I understand that view, but i based it upon the evidence infront of me - If this has upset you, i apologize it wasn't my intention.

Everyone has issues to a degree, including myself.

[Deleted]

Seperate yo. Rent + Bills split as standard. Rest of the moola is yours to do whatever with.

[Deleted]

Assuming a marriage... The relationship is built on trust. If you can't trust each other with your finances, that's a problem. Finances should be joint to promote openness and honesty and trust.

While this is true, I don't think it's really fair if one earns let's say more than double of what the other earns.

But then again, this is completely a matter of personal preferences/opinions.
If someone is ok with it, perfectly fine! I wouldn't be, and thus wouldn't have it that way ever.
The same of course would apply if it would be the other way 'round.

[Shakadam]

Never ever in a million years would I agree to a shared account. So many thing that can go horribly wrong with that.

Split common stuff like electricity bills, rent, food etc 50-50, alternatively if one part has a higher income, that person pays a higher share of these common things.
All the rest is personal and you use your own money for it. Ofc you help pay for vacations and stuff if the other part can't afford it.