Baby Crazy

[vizzle]

So wanting a child is crazy?

At 19, yeah. Willingly make the rest of your life difficult before you're prepared, why don't you.

[SirPiken]

You're having problems a few weeks in? Shit the only problem my wife and I had in the first year we were dating was that she lived 30 mins away. 19 year olds who want babies are just underachieving trash who couldn't get that shit done before they turned 18. Run man, run fast.

[Ceethemage]

Talk to her about it, not talking to her about it will end badly. Tell her how you are feeling, and that you would happily give her a child but you want to be more financially stable. They are valid reasons and it gives you time for planning.

[Deleted]

The only thing i can see is that she was craving for having children, she finally got a boyfriend and sees you as an oppertunity to get it.
I also think it's kind of strange for you that you can't see your life without her after 2 weeks, it says something about the both of you to be honest.
Either way don't give into it. Do you really wish a child a future with 2 teen parents that aren't financially stable?

[Cephilia]

You're having problems a few weeks in? Shit the only problem my wife and I had in the first year we were dating was that she lived 30 mins away. 19 year olds who want babies are just underachieving trash who couldn't get that shit done before they turned 18. Run man, run fast.

They're not necessarily trash, I know a woman who had her first baby at nineteen and never had any troubles with that. Granted, she was already married by then to a husband a bit older than her. Because she knew her husband could easily support them, she decided to go to school after having children. Worked out perfectly - she had her at her most fertile and all her family still able to support her and got a good education.

In this case however, I agree. Talk some sense in to her, having baby fever doesn't mean you're ready. If she doesn't listen, run.

[Molestron]

Funny how you need a license to drive a car but not for creating and caring for a human being.

[Speaknoevil]

Hello fellow gamers. I am a man of 19, with a good job as a network engineer. I also have a girl friend that I am happy with, though we started dating a few weeks ago, her and I can't seem to picture my life without her, and her without me. Now in all this paradise, within a relationship that has once again only been two weeks long, she has brought up how much she wants a baby...Like...She really wants it....REALLY REALLY WANTS A BABY! Now...if I were older, and if she had a well paying job and wasn't heading to college, I'd throw myself into this idea like a mad man into a pile of razors, but...I don't think financially we can take care of it and it is too soon in the relationship to do so anyways. So what should I do? I don't want to break up with her...But I need a solution to really stop this once and for all.

Ask her to separate the biological appeal and the reality of a child. I suggest getting a vasectomy. If she gets pregnant, you will know it isn't yours, and lots of "unprotected" sex helps quell her hormonal nightmare. Ask her if roleplay will suffice until later in life.

A few weeks though... might just want to bail. This whole post of yours raises a ton of red flags.

[Deleted]

Seriously, 2 weeks in?

[Grummgug]

Never understood peoples rush to start popping out kids that soon.

Well, it IS basic biology. We are programmed to reproduce as much as possible.

Another point is that chasing after kids is exhausting. Its a lot tougher to do it when you are 40 than 20. The financial burden may be tougher when you are 20, but the physical toll on your own body is way tougher when you are older.

[Deleted]

Talk to her about it, not talking to her about it will end badly.

It could end badly anyway if he isn't careful now that he knows that she really wants to have kids.
Talking to her definitely is the first step, but the more cautious he is, the better.

[Deleted]

run.
when I was a teen I spent some days in a psychiatry (no I wasn't crazy my parents thought I was addicted to WoW... lovely days) and all the girls there (they were crazy)talked about how much they wanted to become mothers, they were 14 or 15.. what I'm tryin to say is that crazy women want babies for some reason

so run as fast as you can or talk to her and see if she's not really crazy

[The One Percent]

Might want to be with her for a while longer before making such a life changing decision. I would recommend a timeline such as this, considering you're so young:

1. Get to know her for 6 (or more) months.
2. Propose. Plan wedding for 6 (or more) months in the future.
3. Make plans to get a place together.
4. Get married. Move in together.
5. Enjoy life for at least 6 months.
6. Start considering having a child.

That should put you at the age of 20 or 21, which should give you enough time to mature a bit more.

Should be at least 1 year per step and ffs spend time living with her BEFORE you marry (pro tip: don't marry at all if you can help it)

[Varabently]

TALK TO HER ABOUT IT!

Men

Gotta agree here. Tell her you're 19 and she's going to college. It doesn't seem like an ideal situation. You care for her and maybe down the line that's possible, but it really just seems like a terrible idea right now.

Maybe leave that last part out.

[SirRobin]

Gotta agree here.

I went this route. It sounds nice but if she really is baby crazy? It's not going to make any difference. After shooting it down and stalling, she started digging through the internet. Looking for every bit and piece, no matter how delusional, on fertility and some such to build up her case that she needed to get pregnant now.

End result? Three boys and poverty, before she finally accepted, that I'm not going to get her pregnant anymore.

It doesn't matter how rational or reasonable you try to be. If she really is baby crazy? If she feels her biological clock ticking? If she really believes a baby is what will make her life complete? Well then it comes down to whether she matters enough to you. Because your relationship may very well not survive turning her down.

My recommendation, at that age, would be to end the relationship now. If she really is baby crazy? There may very well be a whole lot more crazy in her. Unhealthy kinds of crazy. For you, her, and whatever child might appear.

[Kerath]

You're 19 - so she's presumably a similar age.
You've been together for a few weeks.
She's already banging on about how much she wants a baby.

Run.
Run far, run fast, don't look back.

[Kuntantee]

a bit off topic but how did you get your engineering diploma at age of 19 or even 18 (assuming you've been working for some time)?

...though we started dating a few weeks ago, her and I can't seem to picture my life without her, and her without me.

lol what?

[poser765]

OP maybe I am way, WAY off base here, but did she say she specifically wanted to have kids with you? Or was it just she really wants to be a mom in general? I feel like the overreaction in this thread is reaching critical mass.