A girl's feelings towards relationships.

[Celista]

Long Distance woes murders my soul.

What do you mean! :P

Also, it's a little more complicated than distance and probably shouldn't happen, although the chemistry is off the charts. For one, he's good friends w/my roommate's boyfriend; two, he finished his phd recently, but is likely doing post-doc work so he may or may not be moving/staying in the area for that; three, he views our house as kindof a sanctuary and I would hate to mess that up for him; four, he might be moving in for a few months until he has employment or a research opportunity set up >.< Fooling around w/potential roommate = bad...

Anyway, I need to go out and date and I'm definitely not putting all my eggs into one basket. I'm not sure what I should do to meet people, though...I am really not a fan of online dating, and I'm done w/college and grad school so my world feels a little small lately. Making friends/other interpersonal connections as a grown-up is definitely tougher than when I was in college or high school. >.<

Even after saying this, I still have my fingers crossed for this guy, despite my better judgement.

[Deleted]

Move one. I don't know how you not feel sick being used like that by a cheap ho. Your basically the female version of what us men call a "booty call", but instead of sex, you're getting complains. I'll name it, ''costumer service call", because that's what people call when they want to bitch about something.

Oh and just so you know OP, listening to a woman's bitching is the worst part of a relationship, and you've already done it for years. You might as well just consider yourselves married with children.....and am I the only one noticing the STRONG HINTS that suggest she does not want anything sexually related with you?

[Archiul]

Okay I've seen this a lot of times before. But first things first. What you have is an obsession. You fall in love with someone after you're with them not before. You like her, probably a lot and what you're going to is gonna hurt like a bitch. I personally don't befriend girls that I like neither, if I ever start texting with a girl, she ends up with me. Suggest you do the same to save yourself some heartache. Yes you'll probably miss some if you go that way but it works.

About moving on here's what's going to happen. You'll have a terrible, horrible heartache. It'll hurt like a bitch. Pick up something that'll keep you occupied. It's a very good time to get your life back on track. You can focus on your goals, I STRONGLY advice you to start going to gym. You'll make good friends at the gym, you'll build self confidence and you'll look better Here comes the not-so-fun part though: at some point out of the blue she'll text you. Or come say Hi. ITS A FUCKING TRAP. You can go from 100 to 0 at this point. You'll think she's flirting, you'll think she wants you, you'll think maybe it'll happen this time. Unless she says specificly she wants to be with you, with your built self confidence and better overall self, give her the middle finger. It'll feel like a boss. And don't look back. Try not to think about it. Girls are cruel that way, they don't care about you and your tough time getting over them they just contact you when they need you with something. (I've been through this, just it was an ex girlfriend I pretty much fell for. I gave her the finger and never looked back. Now she occasionally tries to get in touch with me and it feels awesome)

[Celista]

About moving on here's what's going to happen. You'll have a terrible, horrible heartache. It'll hurt like a bitch. Pick up something that'll keep you occupied. It's a very good time to get your life back on track. You can focus on your goals, I STRONGLY advice you to start going to gym. You'll make good friends at the gym, you'll build self confidence and you'll look better Here comes the not-so-fun part though: at some point out of the blue she'll text you. Or come say Hi. ITS A FUCKING TRAP. You can go from 100 to 0 at this point. You'll think she's flirting, you'll think she wants you, you'll think maybe it'll happen this time. Unless she says specificly she wants to be with you, with your built self confidence and better overall self, give her the middle finger. It'll feel like a boss. And don't look back. Try not to think about it. Girls are cruel that way, they don't care about you and your tough time getting over them they just contact you when they need you with something. (I've been through this, just it was an ex girlfriend I pretty much fell for. I gave her the finger and never looked back. Now she occasionally tries to get in touch with me and it feels awesome)

Whoa, I don't think girls do this to be cruel, I think they do this when they genuinely miss someone...on some level, at least. This doesn't necessarily mean she cares about you enough to warrant a relationship, though.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

What do you mean! :P

Also, it's a little more complicated than distance and probably shouldn't happen, although the chemistry is off the charts. For one, he's good friends w/my roommate's boyfriend; two, he finished his phd recently, but is likely doing post-doc work so he may or may not be moving/staying in the area for that; three, he views our house as kindof a sanctuary and I would hate to mess that up for him; four, he might be moving in for a few months until he has employment or a research opportunity set up >.< Fooling around w/potential roommate = bad...

Anyway, I need to go out and date and I'm definitely not putting all my eggs into one basket. I'm not sure what I should do to meet people, though...I am really not a fan of online dating, and I'm done w/college and grad school so my world feels a little small lately. Making friends/other interpersonal connections as a grown-up is definitely tougher than when I was in college or high school. >.<

Even after saying this, I still have my fingers crossed for this guy, despite my better judgement.

I couldn't handle it. I'd have to either skype or move. That's just how I am >.> Long distance relationships are rough on me. Good luck with the guy though even if I am jelly >.>


OP: Move on.

[The Dwarf]

That feeling when you want someone to hurt as much as you, so you ignore them. But ignoring them hurts that much more.

[sugarlily]

I only have a min to reply ATM but I'll try to help~

As a woman myself, I think I know what she means; in a nutshell, just treat her like one of your guy friends/buddies.

ZERO hints, mention of, joking about, bringing up, alluding to, referring to, reminders of, insinuating, or ANY further mentions of your romantic feelings toward her.

NOBODY wants a sad-puppy, "don't forget that I'd crawl across broken glass naked just to lick an apple core you tossed aside weeks ago" boot licking guy basically begging for her to change how she feels about you. It was difficult enough for her to let you know, WITHOUT losing your friendship, that she isn't interested in you that way, & now you bring it up @ every chance, even making it a running joke. Enough already.

She thought you guys could get beyond it & still be buddies, yet you always find a way to get in a few digs & 'let her know how you still feel'. Urgh. STAHP already.

Be her friend again, not a swooning, pining Romeo who thinks that if he says or does enough to continuously remind her of how he feels, she'll suddenly realize she was wrong & start dating your pants off.

[Demontjuh]

hijack...

...what about a girl that breaks up with ya, then keeps having sex with ya every other day, gets pissed when u hang out with her brother more than her, rages when u ask her if u should get back together.

[Celista]

I couldn't handle it. I'd have to either skype or move. That's just how I am >.> Long distance relationships are rough on me. Good luck with the guy though even if I am jelly >.>

<3 Thank you, I doubt anything's going to happen beyond the little bit of hand-holding and cuddling while he was out here last but we will see It's probably not a good idea, for that whole boatload of reasons I listed.

And, they're hard on me too. Long distance relationships just suck.

- - - Updated - - -

hijack...

...what about a girl that breaks up with ya, then keeps having sex with ya every other day, gets pissed when u hang out with her brother more than her, rages when u ask her if u should get back together.

It doesn't sound like you guys broke up in the first place :P Or, she's insane.

[Sorshen]

hijack...

...what about a girl that breaks up with ya, then keeps having sex with ya every other day, gets pissed when u hang out with her brother more than her, rages when u ask her if u should get back together.

I'd recommend you take her to a psychologist for a nice three way chat, that if you still care about your 'relationship'.

[Deleted]

It's really simple. Just cut back on communication to the most basic things. Not to be mean, but if she values you as a friend, she will let you know if she wants more. That way you immediately know the limits of where you can go in a conversation.

If you can not handle this step "back" in closeness, because you still fancy her. Then there is only one solution left, and that is to break up the friendship with her. Cause otherwise you keep hurting yourself. That shouldnt be a product of a friendship.

Ive been her before, although I didnt flirt after she told me. I ended up with the second option I scetched.

[Theinquisition]

Alright so I felt like I needed to vent and get some other people's opinions on this one girl I know.

So rundown is, I love her. I know that much etc. Now she has been a close friend to me for a long time and even though about 2-3 years ago we 'dated' (wasn't really, I personally wouldn't count it) she has told me that she has not seen me as more than a friend since we met (Though she was the one to approach me when we 'went out'). She has only ever 'dated' another guy in her life and she broke it off with him saying the same thing she told me recently when I told her I still was interested etc. She basically told us both that it isn't problems with us and she just isn't interested or believes that she will EVER be interested in relationships and sex etc. I also don't want to mention any of our ages but let's just say we all should be mature by now.

Now at this point I know it seems fairly normal right? She just ain't interested. However here is where I got confused. I have been a close friend to her for 3 or so years right? I'm usually always there when she's angry to vent to etc and she's stated that I am, or at least was, one of her few remaining 'true' friends. But today, and actually for a little while beforehand, she has been getting annoyed and has stated that I am 'harassing' her by dropping subtle hints of flirts/pretty much just joking around with showing her that I like her. Even though I know how she feels etc, I guess I am doing so but I know nothing will come of it which is why I don't see it as a problem. Yet today she threatened and said that I should just end our friendship over those, what I expected would be small, things. Hell she won't even let me just show I care about her well-being and what not without her flipping out and saying that I'm implying something more and again, 'harassing' her. At the end of the argument she settled for "You can vent how ever much you like to anyone else except me, never bring it up again"

I don't know if anyone else has met a woman like this but at this point I don't know how to feel/what to do.
Does anyone have any advice for getting over stuff like this?


EDIT: Just gonna edit this post to mention that I have apologised and taken people's opinions into consideration with reality. Gonna try to cut down on communication but not just leave her completely as I know of issues in her life that are much more important to tend to if she needs a friend than just a stupid situation like this.

Simple enough explanation. She's not into you, she must be a lesbian. Move on to your next love interest.

[sugarlily]

Just give her a speech like Early Cuyler gives to his love...actually, his ex. That has a restraining order on him. For some reason. 250 feet away at all times restraining order.

Anyway, try it like this;

http://video.adultswim.com/squidbill...a-shut-in.html


That, or "get her dancin', get her blood a-flowin' to her sax parts." And drinks like Sex on the Beach or a Buttery Nipple. Here, just watch the masters at work on 'womerns'.

http://video.adultswim.com/squidbill...the-beach.html

[Subetei]

I know of issues in her life that are much more important to tend to if she needs a friend than just a stupid situation like this.

It sounds like OP is still trying to get into her pants and this is new tactic. It's not going to work! I don't know if i've ever guilt tripped any of my friends over wanting to have sex with me. whether op made error or not she certainly didn't handle it like a friend would... i wouldn't waste my time on her.

[NuLogic]

Let me guess now you feel guilty about moving on because you feel she has no one to go to talk about her problems. Lol same thing is happening to my idiot of a friend.

[Brannax]

To the 2 above posts ^^

Nono. I've stated I'd like to stay friends, there is seriously things that I don't want her to deal with if her other friend isn't able to help her whether it hurts me or not. Don't give a shit about anything else more than that.

Distancing is already helping for the moment. I know not to try any more. This thread is over and done and I don't need any other opinions. Thanks.

[Itisamuh]

That doesn't sound like the type of person I'd waste my time on. I wouldn't pursue her or even try to remain friends if she's being that way.

[NuLogic]

To the 2 above posts ^^

Nono. I've stated I'd like to stay friends, there is seriously things that I don't want her to deal with if her other friend isn't able to help her whether it hurts me or not. Don't give a shit about anything else more than that.

Distancing is already helping for the moment. I know not to try any more. This thread is over and done and I don't need any other opinions. Thanks.

Hook, Line and Sinker. That's the sound of her catching a chump.
/worldstiniestviolin