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  1. #1

    (High school) Can anyone help me with a girl that I like?

    What does it mean when a girl says yes to going out on a date and then the next day asks "as friends, right"? Does this mean I have no chance with her or what can I do to try again? She's Swedish, if culture makes a difference.

    We talk a lot, she laughs at my jokes (even bad ones), asks me questions about myself and what I know and smiles whenever I talk to her.

    If this sounds at all familiar is because I asked a different question a while ago about a dance (where she went with another guy because I was too late to ask her). She is not with that guy anymore.

    We talk a lot, ever since she's come to America. She usually initiates it too now and days ever since I started to stop. Almost daily. Yesterday even, while waiting for an audition, we talked for about an hour straight.

    Can anyone PLEASE help me?

  2. #2
    The Undying Kalis's Avatar
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    In Sweden, if a girl says "As friends", it means that they want you to propose to them in public, with as many people as possible that she knows there, ideally all her friends and family.


    I hope this helps.

  3. #3
    If it were me, I would just tell her that I really like her a lot and I was interested in being more than friends but I understand if she wants to take it slow. That would get it out there hopefully without being too heavy. I would try to have an honest conversation about it with her, and the more openly, not nervously or awkwardly you can talk to her about how you feel the easier it will be for her to talk about how she feels. At the end of the day you want her to know how you feel, and find out how she feels, without ruining what you already have so try not to make it too heavy or awkward. What you need to ask yourself though is if she is completely not interested in you at all in that way, do you still want to be her friend?

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Kalis View Post
    In Sweden, if a girl says "As friends", it means that they want you to propose to them in public, with as many people as possible that she knows there, ideally all her friends and family.


    I hope this helps.
    Tried that already. Failed terribly. Turns out she's from the NORTH side. Different culture.


    :P
    /sarcasm

  5. #5
    "as friends" just means don't have any expectations.

    Do it. See what happens. That's how you learn to live and love.

    Let's all ride the Gish gallop.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by jbombard View Post
    If it were me, I would just tell her that I really like her a lot and I was interested in being more than friends but I understand if she wants to take it slow. That would get it out there hopefully without being too heavy. I would try to have an honest conversation about it with her, and the more openly, not nervously or awkwardly you can talk to her about how you feel the easier it will be for her to talk about how she feels. At the end of the day you want her to know how you feel, and find out how she feels, without ruining what you already have so try not to make it too heavy or awkward. What you need to ask yourself though is if she is completely not interested in you at all in that way, do you still want to be her friend?
    Yes. It may be frustrating at times though.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Thalian View Post
    Yes. It may be frustrating at times though.
    I know it is far easier for me to say it than for you to do it, but if that ends up being the case you need to move on emotionally if you really want to keep being her friend. There are other fish in the sea, and she may even try and hook you up with some of her other friends. Really good friends are hard to come by in life, if she is really a good, true friend, keep that friendship alive.

  8. #8
    Deleted
    Dude, you've been friendzoned. Tough luck.

  9. #9
    It's Swedish culture. They do the friend thing first. You are going to have to go through a couple "coffee friend dates" before you can pursue it further.

  10. #10
    Go out with her, see how it goes and then if you're still in doubt, tell her how you feel.

  11. #11
    The Lightbringer OzoAndIndi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thalian View Post
    and then the next day asks "as friends, right"?
    IMO... I hear "I'm not entirely sure what I feel about this so I don't want you to get some other ideas quite yet."

  12. #12
    Deleted
    The dreaded friendzone.

    Make sure you don't pay for her!

  13. #13
    Jesus, just live your life.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yilar View Post
    The dreaded friendzone.

    Make sure you don't pay for her!
    And more importantly, make sure you don't give her all the friends' benefits because that's what friendzoners want, y'know. If she needs you at hard times, tell her "sorry, got a football match with my bros" and so on.

  15. #15
    asking for help with girls on mmo champion.... good luck man

  16. #16
    Deleted
    Buy her fish and chips, bitches love fish and chips.

    Or alternatively fuck all our opinions and do what you feel is right...

    Manakin&co are not responsible for any crimes, specifically of a sexual nature that may or may not take place after said advice is given.

  17. #17
    If you got issues with a Girl, Then talk to the Girl and not us.

    World wont end if she reckons you got some Feelings for her.

  18. #18
    Warchief Mukki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thalian View Post
    What does it mean when a girl says yes to going out on a date and then the next day asks "as friends, right"? Does this mean I have no chance with her or what can I do to try again? She's Swedish, if culture makes a difference.

    We talk a lot, she laughs at my jokes (even bad ones), asks me questions about myself and what I know and smiles whenever I talk to her.

    If this sounds at all familiar is because I asked a different question a while ago about a dance (where she went with another guy because I was too late to ask her). She is not with that guy anymore.

    We talk a lot, ever since she's come to America. She usually initiates it too now and days ever since I started to stop. Almost daily. Yesterday even, while waiting for an audition, we talked for about an hour straight.

    Can anyone PLEASE help me?
    Realistically, I'd say go on the date (I recommend you both pay for yourselves. I don't usually support one person paying for the other if they're not in a relationship, but if she's saying it's as friends, why would you pay for her anyway?) and see how it goes. You're in high school, so this is where you're going to have to learn a lot of things the awkward way - firsthand.

    If you feel up to it, I'd say to just kiss her at the end of the date if you really want to see where you stand, but boldness like that tends to come with experience and confidence. Of course, experience is a good source of confidence too. I don't recommend having a talk with her about your feelings though, that's something she would likely expect from her girlfriends, and once you've got her seeing you as a girlfriend, it's over. Actions speak louder than words. On that note, don't force yourself on her either. Lol.

    Anyway, don't sweat it too much. If this one doesn't work out there will be others. There are a few billion women in the world.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Instructor Soki View Post
    Jesus, just live your life.
    I agree with this on so many levels it's insane.
    Last edited by Mukki; 2013-12-09 at 10:28 AM.

  19. #19
    Don't over think, man. I lost 3 girls I liked back in High School just because of this. When I finally decided to just do it, I dated some girls I never thought I had a chance with. Honestly, the worse that can happen is she says no and that is better than faltering out of fear. Btw, the girls that friendzoned me and I didn't want to ruin the friendship - I lost contact with all of them.

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by Kalis View Post
    In Sweden, if a girl says "As friends", it means that they want you to propose to them in public, with as many people as possible that she knows there, ideally all her friends and family.


    I hope this helps.
    LOL!

    Fucking cultural differences, huh?
    Quote Originally Posted by Flutterguy View Post
    In fact, I quite like it and I would consider it an abuse to inflict my child with a foreskin.
    Quote Originally Posted by Kalis View Post
    You don't appear to understand how it works...they don't stick it on when the baby is born.

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