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  1. #181
    Have a backup plan where you come to Proudmoore where we all support and defend one another. It's a place where bigots get shouted down. They talk about LGBT issues in trade chat like you're with friends having a Starbucks. Nobody ever assumes you're straight/cisgendered, and nobody expects you to lie about it.

    I one guild we had a poor guy in his 50s who came out trans and had not started transitioning at all, and everyone treated her with respect. The entire time, not a single snarky pronoun was spoken, despite the husky blue-collar man-voice we all heard in vent.

    Anyway, just keep that in mind. You already did the brave part, and while you SHOULD be able to keep having fun in a game where you are, a fresh start doesn't mean you're running away from the problem.

  2. #182
    Quote Originally Posted by nulir View Post
    Response was moderately ok. I'm raid leading tonight but only a couple of the raiders know so will likely have more explaining a shit to do then which will waste valuable pull time since I'd like to get another kill tonight since this is our last raid till 2014.

    Responses on the guild forum went well for the most part but not everyone's seen it, not really had any abuse over it (yet but hopefully not) but have been getting creepy whispers from level 1s since then so have at least one chaser in the guild which was what I was probably most afraid of. If that doesn't become an issue then should have gone well but tonight's raid and if chasers stop spam whispers. Kinda afraid of how to respond just since I don't want anything spamming into /2.

    Will edit OP or something after raid
    Have no qualms about /ignoring the level 1 whispers. Or anyone else that steps on your toes. Again give it a few days, the trolls will get bored, the "real objectors" will come out, and you can handle them case by case. In a couple of weeks no one will care.

    In the 6 something years I played wow, I had gay officers, raid leaders, friends, arena mates in the guilds I've been in, it was never ever an issue. I maybe ran into one problem guy along the years and he was handled fairly quickly.

    So again, don't let the idiots get to you, and focus on the people who support you.

    P.S I know your case is somewhat different, but the same principles of acceptance and respect apply.
    Last edited by Mihalik; 2013-12-24 at 05:27 PM.

  3. #183
    to be honest.
    when you talk in vent just use your female voice.
    they will ask WTF is this?
    and tell what you are and was it the whole time. and just being tired off using your male voice.

  4. #184
    Quote Originally Posted by Spazzer View Post
    First. Be yourself and be happy. No one can change that.

    I'm a 'very' straight male so it's hard to comment on subjects like this because I simply don't know much about it; nonetheless, I would support anyone regardless of how I know them even if it was by an online video game. However, if my 48 year old baritone voice raid leader started shouting at me in a feminine voice I would lose my mind and probably be very confused and need a pillow.

    P.S. I looked through this post and saw nothing regarding my next question... so I wanted to ask and I am really curious... but I don't want to come across ignorant. But... I will take a chance anyways. Is your mmo-champion profile picture you?

    Keep your head up.

    ~Spazzer
    I think the answer to that question may make you reconsider how 'very' straight you are.

    Sorry, had to =P

    And @ OP: Best of luck in the raid tonight and Happy Holidays to you if we don't see you again before.

  5. #185
    Deleted
    I'm sure you've had to deal with this kind of thing in person so I can't understand why this is something you would have trouble deciding in the context of interaction over the internet.
    This seems trivial now if you've already chosen to become a female. I can't help but get the impression it's a cry for attention.

    If they wonder why you're using a different voice just tell them and tell them you're serious. If they don't believe you, deal with it. Or you can continue using your male voice. That's the bottom line. This isn't a conclusion that's complicated.
    Last edited by mmoc9951aecc27; 2013-12-24 at 05:39 PM.

  6. #186
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    Quote Originally Posted by Compstance View Post
    I think the answer to that question may make you reconsider how 'very' straight you are.

    Sorry, had to =P

    And @ OP: Best of luck in the raid tonight and Happy Holidays to you if we don't see you again before.
    Dammit... You win this time.. Compstance... You win... well played.

    ~Spazzer
    Last edited by Spazzer; 2013-12-24 at 05:37 PM.

  7. #187
    Quote Originally Posted by Compstance View Post
    I think the answer to that question may make you reconsider how 'very' straight you are.

    Sorry, had to =P

    And @ OP: Best of luck in the raid tonight and Happy Holidays to you if we don't see you again before.
    Now that is a thing that I myself haven't really figured out. I like girls, I love girls, I can't live without them, and I never been with a man or a transgender girl, but I have met transgender women along the years, that I simply didn't identify as male, and I felt the same attraction I feel towards women. I don't specifically care that they might have something else between their legs then a vagina, I see a girl and I don't exclude the possibility that sex might be fun and novel (I also happen to be on the kinky side of sex in general, so I am comfortable with things many people aren't).

    Now I have a bunch of male friends, who are totally accepting of transgender folks, but they would never ever in a million years consider intimacy or god forbid a relationship with one, and they always raise an eyebrow when the topic comes up, and I admit that I am tempted.

    I'm not attracted to every transgender person, but there are many that are simply put physically attractive for straight men.

  8. #188
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mihalik View Post
    Now that is a thing that I myself haven't really figured out. I like girls, I love girls, I can't live without them, and I NEVER been with a man or a transgender girl, but I have met transgender women along the years, that I simply didn't identify as male, and I felt the same attraction I feel towards women. I don't specifically care that they might have something else between their legs then a vagina, I see a girl and I don't exclude the possibility that sex might be fun and novel (I also happen to be on the kinky side of sex in general, so I am comfortable with things many people aren't).

    I'm not attracted to every transgender person, but there are many that are simply put physically attractive for straight men.
    After reading this I can definitely related to this minus the needed edits.

    ~Spazzer

  9. #189
    do what feels right.
    Anemo: traveler, Sucrose
    Pyro: Yanfei, Amber, diluc, xiangling, thoma, Xinyan, Bennett
    Geo: Noelle, Ningguang, Yun Jin, Gorou
    Hydro: Barbara, Zingqiu, Ayato
    Cyro: Shenhe, Kaeya, Chongyun, Diona, Ayaka, Rosaria
    Electro: Fischl, Lisa, Miko, Kujou, Raiden, Razor

  10. #190
    Pandaren Monk meathead's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by meathead View Post
    why do people like lyou feel the need to try and dis credit a well thought out post?o look he made a type o =loser.grow the fuck up.


    to the OP-read my first post-

    again-if you really like the people in your guild and playing with them-dont make waves.do not involve real life issues in wow,remember wow is a game and most play it as an escape from the every day grind.

    you know that old saying about never talking about politics in a bar?well that can be applied to many many different topics and in more ways then one "gaming included".

    [This post was infracted for flaming.]
    i never called anyone a loser-your mods need to learn to read.

    "why do people like lyou feel the need to try and dis credit a well thought out post?o look he made a type o =loser.grow the fuck up."

    my my post!see how i called out what the other poster was saying.he was tryign to discredit my post because i made a type o,I MADE THE TYPE O.he was trying to say i was dumb.so i replied back to him,o look I "myself" 3rd person- made a type -o =im a loser. so i told him to grow up and stop replying about grammar.

    where did i call him a loser?did i use his name=no,was it directed at him=no.reading skills work wonders.i want my infraction removed and tell you biased dev to stop being biased.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgetjones View Post
    Have a backup plan where you come to Proudmoore where we all support and defend one another. It's a place where bigots get shouted down. They talk about LGBT issues in trade chat like you're with friends having a Starbucks. Nobody ever assumes you're straight/cisgendered, and nobody expects you to lie about it.

    I one guild we had a poor guy in his 50s who came out trans and had not started transitioning at all, and everyone treated her with respect. The entire time, not a single snarky pronoun was spoken, despite the husky blue-collar man-voice we all heard in vent.

    Anyway, just keep that in mind. You already did the brave part, and while you SHOULD be able to keep having fun in a game where you are, a fresh start doesn't mean you're running away from the problem.
    tell me how ones personal life haves any impact on an online game.you run around with your toon in game that looks like the same.why on earth do you need to bring real life issues into a god dam game.i know why-you just wan tto mainstream promote your own agenda,and we both know im right.

  11. #191
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by nulir View Post
    I'm a MtF transwoman who's out in IRL to close friends and my girlfriend. I never had huge amounts of worries coming out to them as I'd been though stuff with them and knew they'd accept me. I don't know why but I feel more nervous and more anxiety about coming our to my current guild. Using teamspeak in male voice makes me feel uncomfortable now since I use my female voice 90% of the time in public now. Raiding is becoming draining now just from pretending to be something I'm not.

    Mostly worried abour losing my raid spot and the community I love on Al'Akir - Horde. Don't want to have to relm swap as I have 11 90s there and although beginning again on another server mirrors my life with starting again I can't help feeling attached to the geeat community on Al'Akir.

    Dunno what the point of this post is guess I just wanted to vent and get some oppions on how to go about it since it's coming out to about to lots of people at once which is the scariest bit. Maybe just coming out to my raid roster then the guild or something..

    Really wasnt sure if the was offtopic or wow since it's a mix of both.
    Well my guild recently had someone out themself as gay. and absolutely nobody cared. If those in your guild are that prjudice that they would drop you from raiding ect they arent the kind of people you want to be around anyway tbh

  12. #192
    Pandaren Monk meathead's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgetjones View Post
    Have a backup plan where you come to Proudmoore where we all support and defend one another. It's a place where bigots get shouted down. They talk about LGBT issues in trade chat like you're with friends having a Starbucks. Nobody ever assumes you're straight/cisgendered, and nobody expects you to lie about it.

    I one guild we had a poor guy in his 50s who came out trans and had not started transitioning at all, and everyone treated her with respect. The entire time, not a single snarky pronoun was spoken, despite the husky blue-collar man-voice we all heard in vent.

    Anyway, just keep that in mind. You already did the brave part, and while you SHOULD be able to keep having fun in a game where you are, a fresh start doesn't mean you're running away from the problem.
    tell me how ones personal life haves any impact on an online game.you run around with your toon in game that looks like the same.why on earth do you need to bring real life issues into a god dam game.i know why-you just wan tto mainstream promote your own agenda,and we both know im right.

  13. #193
    I'm not sure there is a more important thing in this world than to be true to yourself. This is not always easy as there is much peer influence to believe, act, and live according to an idea or concept. People will have there comfort zones and protect it. Op you hold the key to open peoples minds with your unique nature, but you have to be ok with it. If you are not ok with this. how can you expect anyone else to? They will just be picking up the insecurity anyway. I always enjoy seeing a gay person be completely ok with themselves. It is quite a cool thing to see. My suggestion is take care of this journey within yourself first. Perhaps break away from outdated concepts of a controlled society in which a lot of people live, and then you won't have to contemplate "coming out", because you will have accepted your own nature.

  14. #194
    Quote Originally Posted by meathead View Post
    tell me how ones personal life haves any impact on an online game.
    Once again: Shes a raid leader, with a voice change. It has an impact.

    That's the third time I've tried to explain it, so I'll let it be the last. Hopefully it sinks in this time

    On another note, you'd probably do yourself a favor by just staying out of the thread before getting yourself banned. Just friendly advice <3

  15. #195
    Quote Originally Posted by meathead View Post
    tell me how ones personal life haves any impact on an online game.you run around with your toon in game that looks like the same.why on earth do you need to bring real life issues into a god dam game.i know why-you just wan tto mainstream promote your own agenda,and we both know im right.
    The OP was pretty clear about her reasons. She started out with her guild before beginning her transition process. Her guild mates identify her as a male. She needs to speak over voice chat as she is raid leading. But she reached the point where she no longer identifies herself with her male voice and using it makes her uncomfortable, as it would probably make you uncomfortable to be forced to be using a female voice.

    Then bigots and assholes ruin your gaming experience just because they think you are "defective" and they feel the need to make your life a living hell. Yes our private lives very often pour over into our virtual one. Of course this would be a total non-issue if people would simply accept it and not have a childish bigoted hissy-fit over it.

  16. #196
    Pandaren Monk meathead's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Compstance View Post
    My apologies for noting the common thread of illiteracy and lack of education that seems to always accompany such bigoted opinions. I suppose you're correct, and you're entire post was one large typo.

    Although, it's still quite obvious you have yet to address the issue the OP is discussing, even though it's been pointed out directly to you.

    Carry on.
    all your doing is trying to point out my typing skills.how many times do i have to tell you i do not use a work processor or edit my posts.do not mistake typing skill for lack of education.if you think the two are related,then someone needs more of one if not both.

    your the bigot-not i.anyone you disagrees with your far left wing views you label them,flame them,try to embarrass them ect.your the close minded person who cant accept others views.i stated real/personal life and wow does not mix because one is a fuckign game.you dont like that,you wan tto promote "your" agenda so you try to provoke me.

    private life is just that private-but you dont like my thoughts.so all you can come up with is look- meathead made a type-o,thats your best shot at me.like i said grow up.i have reported you and the mod because i never called you dumb at all.yet another post by you taking about a lack of education,funny but sad.

  17. #197
    Hopefully it won't be an issue. Heck, my raid team is 40% gay men. Sometimes we joke about it, most times it's not an issue, and one time I guild kicked some foul mouthed teen who was making some pretty homophobic remarks.

    You know the people well enough that hopefully you can gauge your reaction. I assume it's not unlike real life where you may get some weird questions for a while but hopefully they just come to accept it. If you anticipate a lot of drama I would give your guild leader a head's up. As a guild leader I do have to say it's nice to know in advanced if there is potential drama brewing.
    Is this where the header goes?

  18. #198
    Quote Originally Posted by meathead View Post
    all your doing is trying to point out my typing skills.how many times do i have to tell you i do not use a work processor or edit my posts.do not mistake typing skill for lack of education.if you think the two are related,then someone needs more of one if not both.

    your the bigot-not i.anyone you disagrees with your far left wing views you label them,flame them,try to embarrass them ect.your the close minded person who cant accept others views.i stated real/personal life and wow does not mix because one is a fuckign game.you dont like that,you wan tto promote "your" agenda so you try to provoke me.

    private life is just that private-but you dont like my thoughts.so all you can come up with is look- meathead made a type-o,thats your best shot at me.like i said grow up.i have reported you and the mod because i never called you dumb at all.yet another post by you taking about a lack of education,funny but sad.
    You got me there

    I'm still unclear on how you can so blatantly avoid the issue at hand (which has been pointed out at LEAST four times in the past couple pages) and continue to promote your personal distaste for another individual's choice. Being a little more helpful with the OP's issue would be more beneficial both to you and all of those involved in this thread than ensuring everyone hears your stance on OP's life decisions.

    While the OP has looked for very specific advice for a very specific decision in game, you continue to discuss things that are of no concern of yours, nor are they dealing with the OP's request for advice.

    While it's certainly been a pleasure reading bigoted typo's from an individual with a half naked, oiled up man as their avatar, I'm going to take my leave now from this discussion as it relates to you.

    Best of luck to you in all your real life and ingame endeavors.

    [This user was infracted for flaming].
    Last edited by Rivellana; 2013-12-24 at 06:45 PM.

  19. #199
    Legendary! Rivellana's Avatar
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    It really is a shame that after so many pages of friendly, helpful advice, the thread has fallen into people arguing and insulting one another.

    However, at this point I'll be closing it due to the excessive amount of arguing, rudeness and how far it's been pushed off-topic.

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