Should I be Worried----- GF hitting up a dude

[Deleted]

Hello,
Mmo-champion users

I have been dating this girl now for a few months we had been friends about 8 months or so .Everything is going great she tells me she loves me, wants to be with me, we talk everyday etc, But there's one slight problem there's one dude she known about 5 years now she tells me he's like her gay best friend and he's just a gossip, but this dude is always trying to text her, he'll never chill with her in college or go out with her to places outside of school. But he always trying to text her up.

Here the twist though one of my good friends who's his close mate told me he had a crush on her about 2 years into their friendship but he never actually told her. Everything continued the same ended up In college became her good mate we talked everyday, went in kissed her then asked her out she was like yes I was her first boyfriend etc. Now I just think from my point of view this dude still like her but isn't saying anything because a few months back when we were just friends and we were out just me and her, The guy ofc didn't know about it she didn't like telling her friends her business she never really does but she always told me everything he was sending messages every min like where are you and this guy was at his best friends party, yet he was just texting her like hurry up I am bored. Now this annoyed me this dude at his best friends party he asking where she is. My GF told me later on that she was told that he was all depressed when she wasn't there by another friend at the party and even when I asked her out girls who were just mates with this dude were asking what the other gay bestfriend thought.

Now my GF never knew this guy liked her (I didn't want to cause any friction in their friendship just wanted he to know) so I told her so she knew I didn't want to be played along if she liked him she would of left me simple. When I told her she was In shock she was like you sure it's him you sure and was like maybe it's someone else I was like no it's him and she said it didn't change anything between us and she still loved me she ofc told me this changed nothing between him and her gay best mate which I was like yeah that's fine. But this dude when I went out with her didn't speak to my GF because he said he was in shock, and he was telling her are you sure about what you're doing? it means he will kiss you etc? and be your bf? my GF ofc was like whatever I know. Even a few weeks back she was asking this guy for a Christmas gift advice he was like whatever he's gotten what's he wanted already you what else he want. But this dude he always try texting my girl and although we talk all the time until early morning and I am the last person she talks to this cat always talking to her too even until 3:00am, should I be worried about this guy? or Am I just worrying too much and they'll just be friends and it won't affect my relationship with her? ps... all her other mates gave her the "Approval" of going out with me and were really happy except this dude.

Shout out
From,
San Jose, Cali

[Eazy]

2 options:
1. Dump her.
2. Tell this guy that she's your girlfriend, now you have 2 other options:
-1. He stopped texting, etc. It's ok.
-2. He's still hitting her. Hit him...

The best option(for me):
Don't be stupid and say her and him the truth, tell her that you don't like if she's talking with other guy to 3 AM, tell him that she's your girlfriend and you don't want him to "hit on her".

[Stelio Kontos]

Are you under 25, or better 27 or so?

If so, IT DOESN'T MATTER. Relationships at that age aren't *generally* meant to last. If she's behaving in a way that you can't tolerate, or there's a situation that makes you uncomfortable, either talk about it or just end things.

Also "my girl"? You seem rather possessive. Regardless, talk it out or just walk away if you don't like the situation. Gonna reckon she's not the first, or the last, girl for you.

[TheGravemind]

Clearly, you need to get some back up straight out of Compton on this fool.

In all seriousness, if you tell her that it makes you uncomfortable, you'll probably come across as insecure. If it's just texting and the guy is genuinely gay, then I don't see much harm in it. Maybe tell the guy (instead of your girl) to watch himself.

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Are you under 25, or better 27 or so?

If so, IT DOESN'T MATTER. Relationships at that age aren't *generally* meant to last. If she's behaving in a way that you can't tolerate, or there's a situation that makes you uncomfortable, either talk about it or just end things.

Also "my girl"? You seem rather possessive. Regardless, talk it out or just walk away if you don't like the situation. Gonna reckon she's not the first, or the last, girl for you.

As a fellow Californian, OP is not possessive. The phrase "my girl" is used frequently here to denote one's significant other without meaning anything possessive or chauvinistic. It might seem weird to a European.

[Deleted]

Sounds like you might have handed your GF to him after all your sneaking about and paranoia.

You basically removed his biggest hurdle by telling your GF he has a crash on her lol.

[Rotted]

I found that slighty hard to keep up with, the only thing I'll say is, I've been in your boat and I did trust mine, and I lost her to the other guy BUT*** she'd known this guy for less time than she did me, so it may have been love at first sight crap then got to know him and finished because they lasted about 5 months

But, I've got a really good mate I've known for 2 years, shes got a fella and hes a good mate of mine (they both are). We've been away to concerts etc just the three of us. and we always hang out together in uni. Sometimes I hang out with him on his own, sometimes with her on her own, hell last week me and her went on a mad x mas shopping last minute trip, he knew but didn't want to come /shrug. We text each other fairly frequent as we both have the same interests and both taking our respective training seriously. I'll be honest, there was a chance we could of gotten together before they did. But it didn't happen, so it went away from a fancy, to a friend to a good friend, I'm not interested any more as I say its gone beyond that now, but even if they split I still wouldn't try anything

So I've been in both situations so I can only say I think it comes down to this lad, whats he like etc

[Stelio Kontos]

As a fellow Californian, OP is not possessive. The phrase "my girl" is used frequently here to denote one's significant other without meaning anything possessive or chauvinistic. It might seem weird to a European.

Ah, that explains why I hear it since moving to Seattle. West Coast dialectal thing I assume.

Oh well, west coast is best coast.

[Hiitsdj]

Are you under 25, or better 27 or so?

If so, IT DOESN'T MATTER. Relationships at that age aren't *generally* meant to last. If she's behaving in a way that you can't tolerate, or there's a situation that makes you uncomfortable, either talk about it or just end things..

Is there a study that proves that? High school sweet hearts used to get married all the time. Just because you can't stick to one person, doesn't mean no one can. Yeah, sure I'm 22 and just lost the girl I spent 3 years of my life with. But you know what? I'm thinking my future wife is still out there, and I'll be damned if I just say "meh, who cares I'm under 27"

[Rotted]

Are you under 25, or better 27 or so?

If so, IT DOESN'T MATTER. Relationships at that age aren't *generally* meant to last. If she's behaving in a way that you can't tolerate, or there's a situation that makes you uncomfortable, either talk about it or just end things.

I'm sorry but are you out of your dammed mind? I don't know a single person whos that age and have finished, Plenty between 16 and 22~ but 27 is generally out of uni, into the first years of employment when someone is building their life.

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Sounds like you might have handed your GF to him after all your sneaking about and paranoia.

You basically removed his biggest hurdle by telling your GF he has a crash on her lol.

Your 12 right?

[Wildtree]

Sorry to say, but this is a horrendous read.
At some point a bit over halfway through I had to give up, my head was about to explode.
And even though I don't want to sound rude here. But..... OP, how old are you? You sound very young/immature..
And did you really make an account on a Gaming Forum, to discuss relationship issues? You won't get help or answers here at all.

[Buxton McGraff]

It's funny that these types of topics are now accepted as the 'norm' for these forums.
But I LOVE IT! It's kind of an amazing thing...

[Deleted]

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Your 12 right?[/QUOTE]

You're a virgin right?

[Stelio Kontos]

Is there a study that proves that? High school sweet hearts used to get married all the time. Just because you can't stick to one person, doesn't mean no one can. Yeah, sure I'm 22 and just lost the girl I spent 3 years of my life with. But you know what? I'm thinking my future wife is still out there, and I'll be damned if I just say "meh, who cares I'm under 27"

But back in the day, said people were also far more mature compared to their counterparts at the same age today. An 23-yr old back in the 1940s/1950s could have a career and family, but today he's still in school, bro-ing out, and playing video games with all his free time.

I spent 7 years with a girl I wanted to marry, 23-30. She left me, over Facebook. Now I lost out on what are supposed to be the most carefree and fun years because I was too serious about this girl. My advice isn't not to try at all, it's just someone shouldn't be thinking they're in the be all/end all romantic situations of their lives during their youthful years.

[Self Inflicted Wounds]

One thing you should realize when analyzing relationships: you can't control anything she does, or her male friend does. Just be the best guy you can. Worrying too much will ruin things. It will push her away and make you seem like you don;t trust or respect her. So your options are:

1) Dump her if you really think she likes him
2) Just go with it as normal and hope things work out
3) Worry a lot, push her away, seem desperate

I've been through something similar. For me it turns out she didn't like the other guy like that and it really hurt her that I didn't trust her.

Good Luck!

[Deleted]

As long as your GF doesn't show any romantic interest in him, I wouldn't worry. Don't force her to tell him she's not interested though, and don't tell her either that you do not like it. Your GF might see that as possessive. You can try to show her that he's interested and any good GF would turn him down.

[TheGravemind]

But back in the day, said people were also far more mature compared to their counterparts at the same age today.

I don't buy this at all. People have more responsibility in modern society than ever.

She left me, over Facebook.

Consider yourself lucky, imagine what would've happened if you married her.

[Stelio Kontos]

I don't buy this at all. People have more responsibility in modern society than ever.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24173194

[Self Inflicted Wounds]

But back in the day, said people were also far more mature compared to their counterparts at the same age today. An 23-yr old back in the 1940s/1950s could have a career and family, but today he's still in school, bro-ing out, and playing video games with all his free time.

I spent 7 years with a girl I wanted to marry, 23-30. She left me, over Facebook. Now I lost out on what are supposed to be the most carefree and fun years because I was too serious about this girl. My advice isn't not to try at all, it's just someone shouldn't be thinking they're in the be all/end all romantic situations of their lives during their youthful years.

Hahahahaah I just spat out my milk at "bro-ing out" hahahaahahah so true.

[Hiitsdj]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24173194

Let's not forget how much the world has changed. He's right. People have more responsibility than ever.

[Kapadons]

What the hell did I just read?


That was worse than a twilight novel. Please clean it up for future readers.

OT : Stop being a woman. Is the chick coming home with you at the end of the day? Then she is your girlfriend until she doesn't. And if she leaves you for him, who the fuck cares. 7 billion people on the planet, find one that doesn't need attention from another guy and doesn't make you feel so insecure.

I gathered from the nonsense that you are in college. If that is so, dump her ass ASAP. So many horny sluts in college. Your goal shouldn't be to wife one but to smash out as many as possible.