My mom wants me to "support" an inmate....

[Pull My Finger]

You guys should lose your holier-than-thou attitude.

Anyways, @OP, it was absolutely right to decide for yourself what you're gonna do with your cash.

[PBitt]

That's kind of...strange. And why is she giving this person gifts in the first place? I mean, is he a seven foot 400 pound dude that takes care of your brother's problems in exchange for Twinkies and Playboys?

Either way, it's none of your mom's business to ask such a crazy thing, and she really does have a problem if she's helping this guy out that she doesn't know and wants you to help. You did the right thing, it's one thing if you're living at home and your parents ask for help with their expenses, it's another to ask you to give your money to some completely random dude that happens to be a criminal that has nothing at all to do with you. It's your money, do whatever the hell you want with whatever you have after your expenses. It's also extra weird since she's not even asking if you'd help your brother out once in a while which you may have at least considered doing.

[Seranthor]

So here it is, my mom wants me to help support an young inmate from nearby with my own money...While I do like to assist people in need, this is something i'm against. I don't know this kid, or why he is in jail in the first place but i'd rather not associate my self with such people. Shes been supporting him and my own brother who are both inmates with her own money for a while now, sending them "care packages" filled with various things. these packages aren't cheap either, they're about 200+ dollars a package.

I feel like shes trying to guilt trip me into helping a criminal, I danced around the question and then straight up said no and walked away.

I kinda feel like a dick for not giving a shit. I have my own problems and i work for 8$ an hour + tips, theres things i want to buy that i'm saving up for but every so often she comes up with an excuse to ask for money.

Helping someone of your own volition is admirable, doing it because someone else manipulates you into doing it makes you a puppet. Something to consider the next time your mother brings up the subject. He's already getting free medical and dental care (at your expense if you are working and paying taxes). He's also getting free lodging and food (again at your expense). So you ask, 'how much more of my support does he need?'

[bohapjut]

Please stop putting things in quotes. It makes me think you mean something sexual.

I didn't get that impression at all... are you sure you don't just have a dirty mind?

[Deleted]

In prison you are made to get a job of some kind so that if you don't have anything coming in from the outside you are able to afford certain necessities i.e a decent roll on deodrant, extra food on the canteen etc.

You get a roof over your head, a bed to sleep in, food in your belly and even a chance to get yourself educated if you're willing to actually work towards something... As to sponsoring someone, it's a choice, not a requirement.

If your mother can't understand that fact then it's down to her to deal with it, if she's badgering you to do it because she can't afford to support this guy plus your brother then really she should put family first.

Totally on your side here about just walking away on this one, if your mum keeps on about sponsoring this guy just tell her you'll look into moving out if she doesn't stop going on about it. Family should always come first regardless of how worse off some stranger might be.

To me charity starts at home.

[TreezusSaves]

I think non-Americans aren't looking at it the way Americans do.

Considering the failure of the American justice system and its for-profit rehabilitation programs, which houses millions of prisoners and does little to prevent repeat offenders (and, if anything, encourages repeat offenses to happen by placing non-violent offenders in the same pool as violent ones), you can see how they get offended when anything is given to a prisoner that isn't the death penalty.

[Basemath]

You might actually want to support that inmate, at least if you don't wanna end up hearing about your brother getting shanked by his "friend." Talk to your brother. Ask him what's going on. Why your mom came to you. Your financial situation, and whether you'd really need to help this guy.

[Deleted]

Just tell her that it's not going to happen and be very certain. Don't hesitate. If shes anything like my mother, she will probably try to get her way a few times but you have to be adamant and you can't seem like you could be talked into changing your mind. Just get irritated, slam the door etc. if he cares about you at all, she will stop. And if she cares more about that inmate than her own son, well, you don't really have much to lose then by declining in the first place.

[Yunru]

I think non-Americans aren't looking at it the way Americans do.

Considering the failure of the American justice system and its for-profit rehabilitation programs, which houses millions of prisoners and does little to prevent repeat offenders (and, if anything, encourages repeat offenses to happen by placing non-violent offenders in the same pool as violent ones), you can see how they get offended when anything is given to a prisoner that isn't the death penalty.

Well arent prisons suposed to work like this? They can be happy they arent in a siberian prison camp.

You realy need to work hard to even get into a prison.

Also...prisons in america are kinda like slave camps:


http://theeconomiccollapseblog.com/a...oney-they-make
http://www.globalresearch.ca/the-pri...f-slavery/8289

[derpkitteh]

fuck that shit. criminals don't deserve anything but pain and torture. that'd be the biggest waste of money ever.

[zealo]

Don't feel like a dick for refusing to support a criminal, there's probably a reason hes an inmate in the first place and empathy is the last thing such people needs.

[maxalyss]

specially since your mom gives him some nice fat presents every now and then.

Maybe she gets some nice fat presents from the inmate kid if you catch my drift.

[yetgdhfgh]

Sounds to me your mom is paying this inmate money/packages to keep her son safe from being the jailhouse bitch

[Themius]

Hah nah you were right. There is no reason to help an inmate. They are in prison and honestly I think they do not deserve anything and should not even be allowed to get anything considering they are in PRISON for a reason...

Sorry your brother ended up in prison that sucks

Lol silly standpoint...

All prisoners aren't equal.

- - - Updated - - -

Those 2 sentences contradict each other.

America, where 1 mistake will haunt you for the rest of your life.. And then they wonder why so many criminals have problems integrating in society again.

It's quite ridiculous isn't it?

[Deleted]

you dont have to support a cause you dont believe in, if there are many different charity projects that cover many things, shop around, karma isnt cheap

[Slummish]

I have a nephew (by marriage) in the county jail awaiting trial for armed robbery. He's been in there for about six months. My in-laws routinely request for my husband and I to send him 'care packages.' These packages are sold by Aramark (Satan) and cost anywhere from $19.99 to $129.99. I find it ridiculous to pay a small fortune for ramen noodles, chili-flavored Cheetohs, and single serving pouches of cheap flavored coffee. Nevertheless, I feel sorry for the kid because his life spiraled out of control after his mother had her throat slit and was then shot in the face right before his father turned the gun on himself.

[grandpab]

I guess it might kinda depend on the back story on the kid, but if my mom said she wants me to donate to some inmate I would look at her like she's crazy. I mean for your brother sure, there'd be no question about it, but what's with the other kid?

[Themius]

fuck that shit. criminals don't deserve anything but pain and torture. that'd be the biggest waste of money ever.

So petty theft should = torture?

[SL1200]

So here it is, my mom wants me to help support an young inmate from nearby with my own money...While I do like to assist people in need, this is something i'm against. I don't know this kid, or why he is in jail in the first place but i'd rather not associate my self with such people. Shes been supporting him and my own brother who are both inmates with her own money for a while now, sending them "care packages" filled with various things. these packages aren't cheap either, they're about 200+ dollars a package.

I feel like shes trying to guilt trip me into helping a criminal, I danced around the question and then straight up said no and walked away.

I kinda feel like a dick for not giving a shit. I have my own problems and i work for 8$ an hour + tips, theres things i want to buy that i'm saving up for but every so often she comes up with an excuse to ask for money.

They give you everything you "need" in jail. Don't bother to give them anything. They gave us food, soft drinks, water, soap, razors. They don't need anything from you. They're not in a hotel as the guards like to say.

[DeltrusDisc]

Please stop putting things in quotes. It makes me think you mean something sexual.

And I agree with you. At the very least you should know who you're supporting here. And if you're forced to do it then that kind of ruins the whole idea of charity, doesn't it?

Quotes is making you uncomfortable? Honestly, get a grip. Quotes have nothing to do with sexual things.