Can a guy help me figure out my boyfriend?

[ciggy]

Sounds like he's a prick, and you've allowed him to shit all over you for awhile now.

Have a talk with him, explain you are tired of being treated like shit over the silliest stuff. If it doesn't change, get out. It isn't gonna get better until you confront him about it.

[TheTaurenOrc]

Holy White Knight Batman! Seriously there needs to be some perspective here.

Firstly you mention having an apartment with him, you're a full time student and hes working full time. You said you are getting money from your parents, but are the bills still going 50/50?

Secondly to me it sounds like you need to let a few things go. You don't always have to pull up wikipedia to make a point, ok he might be wrong but not making a big deal out of it can avoid an argument.

Thirdly so him getting worked up about something in WoW is unreasonable. But do you really think that was the whole issue? It sounds to me like there was more too it than messing up a guildies achieve.

Have you thought to consider his circumstances? From his point of view he might hate his job but feel obligated to help support you while you finish studying. He might come home after a long day only to have his girlfriend, make a point over who played who in that movie and pull up wikipedia no less. If you really want to understand your boyfriend try and put yourself in his shoes.

[The One Percent]

Sounds like you're stuck in a shitty relationship because you're afraid to move on.

The guy above me has some good points, though.

[Deleted]

can u tell me what made u notice the problem? just a honest talk?

I said it towards the end of the post ( the poem stuff ). That, and the fact that I still had strong feelings for all.

[Elexo]

''After 6 years our relationship has problems.''
''Break up immediately.''

This is why the divorce rates are so high these days.

From what I understood he acts immature during arguments and he lost himself in anger whilst playing WoW once.
These aren't issues that cannot be resolved by two adults sitting down and talking rationaly.

However in your post you said you replied to his anger with your own anger.
So the way I see it you're no more mature than he is.

Calm down, wait for him to calm down, have a calm conversation about it explaining how you feel without pointing the finger too much and see where that road leads you.
You'll always have the option to break up but you may not be able to get back the relation after you've ended it.


However, staying with him because you need him for things like housing and just milking him till he's no longer needed makes you quite a terrible person.

[Jeleh]

If he doesn't respect you after 6 years he will never respect you. Find a partner who nurtures you rather than one who treats you like trash. This guy is not worth your time.

[Ghostpanther]

Dump the guy and move on. You do not have to settle for a jerk as a BF. Plus, remember, no video game is worth messing up a good friendship or relationship over.

[sugarlily]

You get a tear in your eye when you think of leaving him b/c you perceive him to be the guy YOU WISH HE WOULD BE, NOT WHO HE ACTUALLY IS.

You have built him up in your mind as your wonderful, loving & nurturing long-term BF who you love & who loves you. You see yourself slowly able to change his overtly macho, borderline misogynistic tendencies & hope & pray for a brighter future for the 2 of you.

The problem is he sees ZERO problems or issues with himself & sees only problems, issues & STUPIDITY in YOU. For all your efforts, troubles & loving loyalty, he has been taught BY YOU that it's ok to walk all over you, tell you off, call you names & openly state how ignorant & awful you are. Chances are he tells his buddies of all the nagging stupid crap HE has to put up with with YOU.

I don't believe you deserve that or ANY of this shit you're putting up with. I have been you, in your position & NOTHING WILL CHANGE. You can't love him through this. You can't love him so much that he sees the light & eventually changes, or AT LEAST learns to listen & see other people's' points of view. You can't put up with all kinds of hurtful bullshit & prove to him what a good loving & loyal woman you are for him. HE WILL NEVER SEE IT THAT WAY. HE WILL NEVER SEE YOU FOR THE GOOD LOVING LOYAL GF YOU HAVE BEEN FOR 6 YRS. He see himself paying all the bills, (despite efforts from you & your parents helping to pay bills while you go to school, which he doesn't seem to care is important to you & if HE was going to school & YOU were working he would see himself & his schooling as more important than your working & paying bills, right?) he sees himself with an ignorant girl that he can barely have intelligent conversations with. he sees you as a nagging bitching idiot & IF HE DIDN'T HE WOULD TREAT YOU BETTER.

Please tell me where IN REALITY of this situation is your hero that you love so much?! He is NEVER going to change if his situation stays as it currently is; you putting up with all kinds of unwarranted bullshit & emotionally abusive talk from him & you always believing that he'll eventually learn, eventually be kind & understanding & that he will eventually accept that he isn't the king of knowledge & all women, including you are stupid & need to be taught/learn from him & assholes like him. YOU STAYING & ACCEPTING ALL OF THIS SHIT GIVES HIM ALL THE JUSTIFICATION HE NEEDS TO CONTINUE TO BE EXACTLY THE SAME AS HE ALWAYS HAS BEEN & ALWAYS WILL BE.

He has ZERO reason to change. He has ZERO incentive to do anything differently as long as you stay there & continue to 'love him through it all'.

BTW, do NOT get a dog to walk together. Just like a pregnancy or baby, a pet will NOT fix your issues & will then be in the middle of your arguments & you've now brought an innocent puppy into an unhappy home, with a man you admit can get aggressive. What happens when the dog has an accident in the house or chews up something he feels is worth more than you & the dog put together? Worst of all, what if that poor innocent puppy is FEMALE?! As a former pet rescue worker, DO NOT BRING ANY ANIMAL INTO THIS UNSETTLED HOUSE. Please <3

Again, my usual list~ please think about the points in this list~
1.) Never date anyone you wouldn't have as a best friend.
2.) Tolerated behavior doesn't change.
3.) We teach people how to treat us.
4.) We get what we settle for.

If his kindest, most loving treatment of you is after he's been an intimidating, tormenting dick & is trying to make it up to you, you have got to see this for what it is; a VERY unhealthy relationship. Has he EVER remained a kind, compassionate guy after one of his apologies? NOPE.(which means he didn't really mean any of his apologies, either). Start making plans to have a safe place to go.

[Deleted]

He told it few times straight into my face when an argument turned into a fight. That men are smarter than girls (he overuses that)

Next time he says "men are smarter than girls" tell him "but women are smarter than boys". The actual 2 point difference in average IQ of adults doesn't matter when there's ~40 point difference between most of the people and ~70 point difference between what's considered "normal IQ". He's full of sh** and not very smart if that's his honest opinion. He might be just trolling too, who knows.
You should start acting like a real woman with self respect and not let him do this crap. He only does it because you're easy to bully, I'd have to see your fights to make more specific conclusions, but it sure seems you don't stand up for yourself with the right methods.
I'm not saying it's the right way to do, but if a guy would blame me of ruining his achievement or something in a rude way, I'd just say "deal with it, fag" and ignore his cries. I'd never ask him to apologize because he's a lesser being and his opinion doesn't matter to me. I'd just have fun with other people while he can be mad all he wants for that screwed achievement. Again, this is just me and I'm a major ass in relationships (not as much as your bf, but then again, I don't get into a relationship with people I consider dumb).

What I'd suggest to do next: just sit down and talk it out. Make it as serious as you can. Talk like a woman, not a girl. Talk what you want and how you feel, not what your fear to lose him tells you to say. Don't back down. Don't make it a drama, just explain him how you feel and what you want to change. Be sure you give as much info as possible in as few words as possible. Men tend to lose their attention when a woman keeps blabbering for too long.

[Damsbo]

Just wave him off?
If he wont listen to you, then dont listen to him.. walk away and do something else. why would you participate in him, telling you your wrong in an opinion based arguement?
Me and my girlfriend discuss a lot of things, all the time. If she isn't being constructive about it, I'll say "we can discuss this later, I wanna do something else" - and I'll go make a sandwich or something.
Seriously, dont feed a troll.

[Deleted]

Just wave him off?
If he wont listen to you, then dont listen to him.. walk away and do something else. why would you participate in him, telling you your wrong in an opinion based arguement?
Me and my girlfriend discuss a lot of things, all the time. If she isn't being constructive about it, I'll say "we can discuss this later, I wanna do something else" - and I'll go make a sandwich or something.
Seriously, dont feed a troll.

What's this - a Comment full of constructive and sensible ideas stemming from common sense?!

HERESY!

[Raediance]

Imho, You can do better. Best of luck with the new year. <3

[Ambalika]

BTW, do NOT get a dog to walk together. Just like a pregnancy or baby, a pet will NOT fix your issues & will then be in the middle of your arguments & you've now brought an innocent puppy into an unhappy home, with a man you admit can get aggressive. What happens when the dog has an accident in the house or chews up something he feels is worth more than you & the dog put together? Worst of all, what if that poor innocent puppy is FEMALE?! As a former pet rescue worker, DO NOT BRING ANY ANIMAL INTO THIS UNSETTLED HOUSE. Please <3

Have to agree with Sugarlilly here. Too many pets bought (or babies created!) as a means to stay together, which is a terrible thing.

What I meant: only get a dog (as a positive outlet for creative energy) if/when you BOTH decide that the household/significant other is worth staying with but not playing WoW / MMO's with.