Empathy

[Themius]

I don't feel empathy, I think empathy. Often it changes the whole thing around and I find myself being empathetic towards the "wrong" side. I dislike "feelers", they always choose the side that's more cute and cuddly.

You really have odd thinking... you seem removed and robotic.

You don't think empathy, you feel empathy. If you have to think in order to determine your feelings then that's not empathy. Empathy doesn't = choosing cute and cuddly things. You have a very limited idea of empathy.

[Zannis]

A lot of people confuse empathy and sympathy:

http://www.diffen.com/difference/Empathy_vs_Sympathy

http://grammarist.com/usage/empathy-sympathy/

It would be impossible to feel empathy towards everyone you meet. That being said, I have an acute sense of sympathy. I feel bad about lots of the misfortune I witness, and I often try to put myself in someone else's shoes. I also have bad days, selfish days where I don't want to deal with anyone else's emotional states but my own.

Emotions are good to explore and release. At the right place and the right time, of course.

[CJack14dt]

A lot of people confuse empathy and sympathy:

http://www.diffen.com/difference/Empathy_vs_Sympathy

http://grammarist.com/usage/empathy-sympathy/

It would be impossible to feel empathy towards everyone you meet. That being said, I have an acute sense of sympathy. I feel bad about lots of the misfortune I witness, and I often try to put myself in someone else's shoes. I also have bad days, selfish days where I don't want to deal with anyone else's emotional states but my own.

Emotions are good to explore and release. At the right place and the right time, of course.

Thank you. As I was reading this thread I kept saying your first line to myself. I am all aboard for sympathy. I can sympathize with most anything. I just can't understand why people would want to be empathetic and not just sympathetic. If you're feeling bad about something why would you want someone else to actually experience what you are feeling instead of just understanding why you are?! That's just spreading pain.

[Jayburner]

I think empathy has to be instilled at a young age.

[Themius]

Thank you. As I was reading this thread I kept saying your first line to myself. I am all aboard for sympathy. I can sympathize with most anything. I just can't understand why people would want to be empathetic and not just sympathetic. If you're feeling bad about something why would you want someone else to actually experience what you are feeling instead of just understanding why you are?! That's just spreading pain.

Because a person who can empathize and feel what you feel is more likely to more completely understand.

[Deleted]

You really have odd thinking... you seem removed and robotic.

You don't think empathy, you feel empathy. If you have to think in order to determine your feelings then that's not empathy. Empathy doesn't = choosing cute and cuddly things. You have a very limited idea of empathy.

Has to appear dark and edgy on the internet bro! Feelings are for sad meat-sacks.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

Has to appear dark and edgy on the internet bro! Feelings are for sad meat-sacks.

I almost spit my drink out reading this.

[Deleted]

I try to be empathic as much as possible, the problem is that my job involves being lied and bullshitted to so it is a bit hard to take people at face value.

I'm in the same boat. Show to much empathy/sympathie and they will try to manipulate and abuse it. Isn't always easy...atleast I don't always find it easy.

Since I started my job I feel less empathy due how you see more the true nature of some people, it can't be avoided.

[Deleted]

Such as?

*snip*

Yes, pretty much this.
And also:

You really have odd thinking... you seem removed and robotic.

You don't think empathy, you feel empathy. If you have to think in order to determine your feelings then that's not empathy. Empathy doesn't = choosing cute and cuddly things. You have a very limited idea of empathy.

And you have a very limited idea of thinking.

[Deleted]

This is an interesting topic and got me thinking. I feel more empathy for animals than people because people are often at fault themselves or too demanding. You don't see a deer coming out of the woods and asking you for gas money or expecting you to do her a favor give her a lift. So yea.. I find it very difficult to feel anything positive for someone who begs or expects help and even gets mad and preachy when he/she doesn't receive it. When I see a really poor sick looking starving child(or homeless) on the street, I feel empathy and want to help but if the same person would come to harass me and beg for money or tried to guilt me into giving or doing something for them, it would all be gone in an instant and and replaced with contempt.

[Stir]

Empathy is something your brain does or does not do. It's to do with emotionally understanding others. Which is why people with autism are often sympathetic, but rarely empathic.

You cannot be taught empathy. It isn't a character trait. You can practice it, sure, just like you can practice math, or logical thinking. Again; it's just another thing your brain does.

[Themius]

Yes, pretty much this.
And also:
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/nYLV8EL.jpg[/IG]



And you have a very limited idea of thinking.

Please go back and read your own post where you basically said you do not feel empathy. I don't have limited idea of thinking to say you have a limited idea of empathy, you painted your bleek lack luster, unfinished portrait of empathy in your own post honey.

I have no clue why you're trying to make a jab at me where I am simply pointing out what you said and how it sounds and how it comes across. Where does my post show limited thinking? It's such a ridiculous statement given that you're the limited one here miss "i don't feel empathy i think empathy" When a person goes "i see this situation, I should think empathy *empathy activate!* yeah i'm thinking it now this is empathy, not those fucking feelings" do you know how foolish this sounds?

Empathy is all about feeling for others and feeling those feelings. How can you share a persons experiences or share their feelings when you just fucking said you don't feel empathy you only think it? You're thinking sympathy, not empathy.

[slime]

I see all the shit-fucks that are breeding now adays. Empathy will soon enough be bred right out of the human race.

[Stelio Kontos]

This is an interesting topic and got me thinking. I feel more empathy for animals than people because people are often at fault themselves or too demanding. You don't see a deer coming out of the woods and asking you for gas money or expecting you to do her a favor give her a lift. So yea.. I find it very difficult to feel anything positive for someone who begs or expects help and even gets mad and preachy when he/she doesn't receive it. When I see a really poor sick looking starving child(or homeless) on the street, I feel empathy and want to help but if the same person would come to harass me and beg for money or tried to guilt me into giving or doing something for them, it would all be gone in an instant and and replaced with contempt.

Your view would change about beggars if you ever left the safe confines of the West. Hard not to feel empathy with an Indian beggar who you can literally see is dying of hunger and disease. It's easy to dismiss the poverty-stricken from behind the walls of the privileged countries. Not as easy when the skeletal figure crawling on the ground is begging for, well, anything from anyone.

As for me, I try to maintain a healthy dose of empathy. For humans and beasts. Unless something or someone is intent on harming me, I'll do my best to remain considerate and charitable.

However, I do have significantly less care and empathy, or sympathy even, for people who lack empathy. I take a degree of pleasure when an acquaintance of mine, typical objectivist Ayn Rand-worshiping dudebro, basically had his life fall apart and lose almost everything. He was the guy who'd mock a homeless person to their face. Well, more accurately, he yelled at them as he drove by in his hilariously over-blown pickup with blue rubber balls hanging off the hitch.

He was heartless, so I was happy to see him broken. I always want to show compassion, but I have no compassion for people with no compassion or empathy. You deserve what you get.

[Themius]

This is an interesting topic and got me thinking. I feel more empathy for animals than people because people are often at fault themselves or too demanding. You don't see a deer coming out of the woods and asking you for gas money or expecting you to do her a favor give her a lift. So yea.. I find it very difficult to feel anything positive for someone who begs or expects help and even gets mad and preachy when he/she doesn't receive it. When I see a really poor sick looking starving child(or homeless) on the street, I feel empathy and want to help but if the same person would come to harass me and beg for money or tried to guilt me into giving or doing something for them, it would all be gone in an instant and and replaced with contempt.

What you said towards the end is likely the most ridiculous.

"i feel empathy for the poor sick starving children but if they ask me for money so they can feed their poor sick starving selves, fuck them."

[Deleted]

I have no clue why you're trying to make a jab at me where I am simply pointing out what you said and how it sounds and how it comes across.

Because all you do in these forums is attacking people who make valid points and try to ridicule their ideas. Every. Fn. Topic.

Empathy is all about feeling for others and feeling those feelings. How can you share a persons experiences or share their feelings when you just fucking said you don't feel empathy you only think it? You're thinking sympathy, not empathy.

Fine, let it be sympathy then. Even though I'm giving money to poor people, and yes I have been poor too so I qualify for empathy there, I'm more like "it sucks to be poor, go buy some bread or vodka or whatever you want" instead of actually getting sad myself because they remind me of my crappy past. The difference is in keeping the empathy far enough from yourself personally, while thinking enough to actually have a reason to help them.

[Theinquisition]

I try to be empathic as much as possible, the problem is that my job involves being lied and bullshitted to so it is a bit hard to take people at face value.

This so much!! That's what makes being empathic to people so difficult. You show some compassion to some people and they take advantage of it. It sucks because it makes you very cynical. Its a challenge to express empathy to those that deserve it, and apathy to those that don't.

[AeneasBK]

I don't think I was naturally very empathetic growing up, its much more a concept I've had to teach myself; so I get it wrong more often than not.

[Deleted]

This so much!! That's what makes being empathic to people so difficult. You show some compassion to some people and they take advantage of it. It sucks because it makes you very cynical. Its a challenge to express empathy to those that deserve it, and apathy to those that don't.

Exactly, you can only accept so many sob stories before you become a hard cynical bastard, especially so with repeat offenders.

[Themius]

Because all you do in these forums is attacking people who make valid points and try to ridicule their ideas. Every. Fn. Topic.


Fine, let it be sympathy then. Even though I'm giving money to poor people, and yes I have been poor too so I qualify for empathy there, I'm more like "it sucks to be poor, go buy some bread or vodka or whatever you want" instead of actually getting sad myself because they remind me of my crappy past. The difference is in keeping the empathy far enough from yourself personally, while thinking enough to actually have a reason to help them.

You're taking a jab at me because I called you out saying what you were doing isn't empathy because it isn't empathy? Seriously...

You don't keep empathy far from you lol. I am a very empathetic person, sometimes over empathetic but I don't let that hinder me especially when I have to do something.