Do you agree with physical punishment towards children by parents?

[Deleted]

Aaaand a "slap on the bum" now makes you a control freak!! It's official!!

[Deleted]

I never did before I began to work with a 3 year old. One single, child. Now I can't help but realize that sometimes it's the only option when repeated warnings are ignored and 'punishments' such as sitting in the pram/pushchair, or having toys taking away are asked for by the child.

"Do that one more time and I'll put you in the pushchair for 10 minutes" "You can do it now, I don't care"

In cases where they are unafraid of the parents and abuse their authority, while in return hitting the parents themselves, I think that's the only logical way to show them that they are not in charge.

But, of course, only a smack on the bottom. For me as a child, the fear of that was enough to keep me from being cheeky.

[OneSent]

Children have a natural predisposition to defy authority. It's hard-wired into our DNA so that when we grow up to become adults, we are not susceptible to tyrannical behaviors. But, we live in societies now where we are controlled by authorities; and putting on the best, most acceptable behavior is more important that running your life your own way.

We no longer live in hunter-gatherer tribes, where the children were given that utmost freedom to do whatever they wanted; to make decisions entirely on their own and learn from their own mistakes. Today, we baby our kids into thinking they don't know any better because they're young, and when you behave in a way that mommy or daddy doesn't like, you will be punished.

Spanking a child with the intent of instilling immediate compliance rewires the brain of a child into being fearful of authority. It's why we no longer have a backbone in this country and allow our government to shit on us year after year after year.

[Themius]

Children have a natural predisposition to defy authority. It's hard-wired into our DNA so that when we grow up to become adults, we are not susceptible to tyrannical behaviors. But, we live in societies now where we are controlled by authorities; and putting on the best, most acceptable behavior is more important that running your life your own way.

We no longer live in hunter-gatherer tribes, where the children were given that utmost freedom to do whatever they wanted; to make decisions entirely on their own and learn from their own mistakes. Today, we baby our kids into thinking they don't know any better because they're young, and when you behave in a way that mommy or daddy doesn't like, you will be punished.

Spanking a child with the intent of instilling immediate compliance rewires the brain of a child into being fearful of authority. It's why we no longer have a backbone in this country and allow our government to shit on us year after year after year.

So i'm just going to call it.

You pulled this shit out of your ass and will ignore all actual psychological research?

[Deleted]

Personally I believe in a good mixture of positive reinforcement and negative punishment. I think balance is the key. I see so many people that have issues with authority, and when I talk to them a lot of them have stories like, "my parents made me go to Catholic school when I was a child..." or something along those lines. Going overboard with the physical punishment can have some devastating effects. I've had to work with a lot of violent offenders and a very common theme is that they were beaten or abused as a child.

I'm pretty happy with the way my parents raised me. They gave me things when I did good things. They took away things when I did bad things. If I got in trouble at school, they wouldn't punish me if they saw I was already feeling really bad about it. I remember one time I got kicked off the school bus for swearing, I felt awful and had to take a "conduct form" to my parents for them to sign. Instead of just punishing me more, as they saw I felt terrible and sad, they actually took me to the comic book shop and bought me some comics to make me feel better haha. That seems awful to reward bad behavior, but I like to think of that as very good, reactive parenting. They saw that there was no pattern of manipulation and that I genuinely felt bad (I really did), so they reacted appropriately.

I actually chose myself to go to Catholic school and I am glad that I did!

I think if I worked with the child completely alone showing him the positive/negative rewards/repercussions would be fine. He destroys something I'm building for us to play with - fine, I'll pack it away. He threatens to hit me with some plastic golf club - I take that away too! He is very nice to me and allows me to test his English skills (I'm teaching him this - he's German) I make something for him that he wants and likes. He is beginning to realize where the boundaries for right and wrong are.

But for all the work that I put into it the parents take away. They even work against each other to try and earn his affection. Resulting in a child who knows how to get what he wants - be it chocolate or a new toy. In the mornings he will sometimes be violent against his mother, maybe kicking her or hitting her while constantly screaming. Instead of her taking charge and showing him that this is wrong she will walk away in tears. If this were mine I have no doubt that I would give him a time out and not reward him with what he wants.

Also, due to lack of contact with other children, he's very vicious and possessive. At a playground he doesn't believe in sharing as it's not an idea he's been introduced to - ending up with him scaring other children or trying to hit them!

[Deleted]

I actually chose myself to go to Catholic school and I am glad that I did!

I think if I worked with the child completely alone showing him the positive/negative rewards/repercussions would be fine. He destroys something I'm building for us to play with - fine, I'll pack it away. He threatens to hit me with some plastic golf club - I take that away too! He is very nice to me and allows me to test his English skills (I'm teaching him this - he's German) I make something for him that he wants and likes. He is beginning to realize where the boundaries for right and wrong are.

But for all the work that I put into it the parents take away. They even work against each other to try and earn his affection. Resulting in a child who knows how to get what he wants - be it chocolate or a new toy. In the mornings he will sometimes be violent against his mother, maybe kicking her or hitting her while constantly screaming. Instead of her taking charge and showing him that this is wrong she will walk away in tears. If this were mine I have no doubt that I would give him a time out and not reward him with what he wants.

Also, due to lack of contact with other children, he's very vicious and possessive. At a playground he doesn't believe in sharing as it's not an idea he's been introduced to - ending up with him scaring other children or trying to hit them!

Shocking parenting from these guys. This is a hundred times worst than a light slap on the bum at times when needed.
But hey, who are we to judge?
I wish you best of luck in what you're doing

[Aeluron Lightsong]

Shocking parenting from these guys. This is a hundred times worst than a light slap on the bum at times when needed.
But hey, who are we to judge?
I wish you best of luck in what you're doing

Don't underestimate the power of the wordside.