1. #1

    Elemental PvP: A Poem by Thunderbleem

    Inspired by real events.

    I was playing my shaman, feeling quite jolly
    When I saw a hunter and thought “I’ll kill him, by golly!”
    At first I was unaware of my great folly
    And I began to unleash on him with my first volley

    I started to shout “Lava burst! Lava burst!”
    But was dismayed to see that he hit feign death first!
    I tried casting again, but all was for naught
    For at that point he hit me with silencing shot

    “With those out of the way, I’ll let loose my barrage!”
    My enthusiasm waned as he hit camouflage
    With his defensives now gone, surely he’d be shattered
    But I’d forgotten one thing, and soon found myself scattered

    I trinketed, determined to finish this cur
    “If I use ascendance, he’ll die for sure!”
    But again I saw the same result reoccur
    As I watched him use his double deter

    I started to panic and hit healing tide
    Went into wolf form, and tried to run and hide
    “Silly shaman,” he said, clearly unfazed
    “You can’t escape me! You’re now perma-dazed!”

    A valiant effort, some might have said
    But he was at full health, and here I lay dead
    Seething with rage, I began to see red
    “Fuck PvP, I’ll slay dragons instead.”

  2. #2
    Herald of the Titans Seriss's Avatar
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    Well done, sir, well done

  3. #3
    The Patient Seadog's Avatar
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    So much win gratz , it's also very true

    Long live Garona Halforcen ! Cheers to Odexy for the Sig !

    Waiting for Wildstar ! Preorder or Early Access ... just take my money !

  4. #4
    Bloodsail Admiral theostrichsays's Avatar
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    10/10 Would read again.

  5. #5
    Herald of the Titans Eliot123's Avatar
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    Very impressive
    Funny and sadly quite true
    Haikus are hard, bleh
    When in a hole, keep digging!

  6. #6
    Part 2

    I reincarnated, to take him by surprise
    How clever, I thought, with this plan I've devised!
    Yet my last heroic effort was to be in vain
    His silencing shot was off cooldown again

    I prayed for some heals so I could make him pay
    I'd come back from the dead and he would rue the day!
    Shortly thereafter I saw my combat log say
    "Xlegolasx's chimera shot crits you for 96k"

    I was defeated in battle, hunter tools are absurd!
    Yet I was determined to have the last word
    I made a level 1 alt, and the last thing he heard
    Was a whisper from me: "u suck u neckbearded nerd"

  7. #7
    This is one of the best things I've seen this week. Kudos.

  8. #8
    10/10 for accuracy.

  9. #9

  10. #10
    10/10
    made my day. ty

  11. #11
    Moderator Blithe's Avatar
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    Haha nice. You should make one for Enhancement as well, or just other classes in general, such as against Warrior. :P

  12. #12
    Field Marshal Malcanthet's Avatar
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    This is so very awesomesauce. You made my morning. 10/10

  13. #13

  14. #14

  15. #15
    The Patient DoubleT's Avatar
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    Elemental pvp in a nutshell.

  16. #16
    Now that Grievous is obtainable through farming honor, I've been stuck in this conundrum all night. Come online to read your poem and find it's a small world we all live in. Fun read!

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Blitheqt View Post
    Haha nice. You should make one for Enhancement as well, or just other classes in general, such as against Warrior. :P
    It was a toss-up between hunter, warrior, rogue, dk, and monk, as they can all essentially stop you from hurting them in various different ways. Also, I usually main enhance, so perhaps I'll do that

  18. #18
    Epic! Anzen's Avatar
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    We Just Killed The Healer
    We've Almost Won
    Loljk Rogue Just Opened
    I Died In A Stun

  19. #19
    Funny read. What's even funnier is that a hunter is one of the few things an ele shaman can actually beat 1v1.

  20. #20
    Well, I am certainly not as good as Thunderbleem, but I'll do my best and try... I thought I could write a hunter's PoV of this poem...

    Here, on Isle, was I having a walk,
    when this weirdo shammy began to mock.
    Shouted strange things, of which I remember the "kek",
    spat the lava at me, I thought "Time to wreck!"

    I could only see a giant block of red,
    I fell down, ha! Illusion! I was just feigning dead!
    There was only one guess to be thinking about,
    only one, that one, a quick shot at the mouth!

    Suddenly, I realised he started to push,
    the only solution was to hide in a bush.
    Now I knew I would surely long be dead
    if I haven't launched a stone at his head.

    He used that medallion, what is it, a trinket they call it?
    There was no time to think, as he started to crit.
    In panic, I called upon my defensive blades,
    had to do twice, with him spitting lava cascades.

    He went defense, what, a totem of water?
    Not a chance, little, now it's the time for a slaughter!
    Little puppy, run and hide in your pathetic form!
    At least try, since your moves are under my control!

    The chase was successful, final shot at him,
    the wolf lies dead, its body nice and slim.
    I quickly assess with my great, huntery bet,
    hell, his head will fit nicely into my challenge mode set!

    But what is that? He stands up, calls me a nerd,
    I shoot at his neck, so he can't say any more word.
    He attempted to heal, to rescuse his ass,
    but a silencing shot works like a stone through glass!

    I follow up quickly, not giving a chance,
    it only takes a while, I take one final glance.
    This one shot, prepared right for this part,
    Stinged with chimera, shot pierced his heart!

    Laughing at him, I admired my new, shiny gear,
    I knew as a hunter I had literally nothing to fear.
    Only noticed a purple, long word,
    Twas "usuckuneckbeardednerd".


    I tried to recreate the events of the original poem, so everything that happened there, also takes place in here Hope you'll enjoy it, was fun to read Thunderbleem's work and try to reply to it
    Last edited by Magnus1177; 2014-02-24 at 11:41 PM.

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