Did you ever have the gut feeling about a relationship?

[Sunnydruid]

Short version: Been dating a girl for 3 years this november. Lately she has been really busy with school (she always has been really into school) and she works full time. She is very independent and that is one of the many traits I have grown to love about her. Idk lately (past like weekish?) I have been getting this gut feeling that she is...idk about cheating...but yeah I guess we can go with that. I have done a lot for her and she has done a lot for me and we both are in love with each other(can tell by looking in her eyes). Lately she has been really busy, extra busy, with school and work. Please someone just tell me I am being overdramatic and I just need to take a step back.

I have also been getting into this semi depressed state. I haven't had the best of luck with jobs recently (I am young and some of the mistakes I made in the past ended up biting me in the ass a couple years later)but I just found a great job that can get my the experience I desire to further my (future) career. I feel like this is why I am overthinking things. And when I overthink and get depressed, just like many, I think of the worst possible outcome to everything.

Maybe I just needed to vent a bit, I feel a bit better already. But for a conversation piece...has anyone else had those weird gut feelings that just turn out to be you overthinking things. Or have the turned out to be true?


EDIT- Thank you all for your posts. They aided in me from getting my mind back down to earth. I just talked with her and I didn't directly ask her but I kind of did a sneaky way of asking her(she didn't realize what i was doing thank god). She is just really busy and my feelings got to me and I feel like a jackass now for even thinking things like this. Do i expect us to last forever? no we are both young but I do want to enjoy every moment I have with her and if it lasts forever and our love carries us through the rest of our lives then that would be amazing too. I think i just have to learn to handle things when I am getting down in the dumps. I tend to bottle it all up and let it go ALL at once. This turns into anger, jumping to conclusions, thinking the worst and so on and it definitely isn't a good thing to do so I am going to start working on my emotions more.


tl;dr because I don't know the attention spam of some readers here - I was getting depressed about other things, I was overthinking and I thought the worst. I am working to change myself now as my life is slowly getting better with landing a new job.

/thread but continue to share your stories, gives me something to do

[PuppetShowJustice]

What makes you think she's cheating, though? Unless you have actual reason to believe it...I dunno, man. It sounds like your own paranoia is just getting under your skin to me.

[Sunnydruid]

"Gut feelings" can go either way, so I hope you're not looking to use the responses here to decide whether to trust it or not to the exclusion of any evidence.

Oh hell no. Lol that's like going on 4chan to get answers to your trigonometry questions.

I actually feel surprisingly better after writing that. It's weird. I think it's a mix of my depression coming back and just random paranoia. I trust her completely but I guess I just let my paranoia get the best of me. Luckily I didn't act on my thoughts. That could have ended badly.

[Zxzas]

If you truly say you are in love with eachother, then you are. School can throw things at you left and right, and if she is busy, she's busy. I feel like if she is busy, she might be that one person in a group project that does all of the work.

[Gamdwelf]

How often do you actually spend time with her/communicate with her?

[Carnebill]

Or... and this is really really crazy, but maybe talk to her about it?

Gut feelings can be dead on....or they can be just gas and indigestion---lol. Gut feelings are there for a reason....think of them as a symptom of a larger issue. What you really just need to do, in order to have a successfull and healthy relationship, is talk and be open and honest. Obviously you have these feelings for a reason, talk to her about them. Either she's doing something to cause it and it can be rectified, or it's in your head and she can help ease them. Of course there's the possibility of something truly up and in such case, it's best to get to that point too.

People on here can be insightfull, but you're taking the chance of listening to a 13 year old that knows EVERYTHING there is. =) Heck, that could be me... it's not, but you get my point. Just be up front, there's already a problem, you just need to talk to her and realize if it's in your head or legit.

Good luck... relationships are work, both sides.

[Immitis]

i see this alot and its pretty obvious shes been trying to sleep with your parents

[Xirrohon]

The older I get the more I realize that my gut is more often times right than wrong.

Best thing to do is to tell how youre feeling and see how it goes.

[Nillah]

If you really trust her, then you trust her, and you wouldn't be having doubtful feelings.

I don't know that there's any way you can ask her without offending her or making her angry, either.

[trebor]

I don't know that there's any way you can ask her without offending her or making her angry, either.

Why couldn't he just ask her or talk to her about it? If they are as in love as he claims they are they should be able to talk about their feelings without either party becoming angry.

To TC: You say the issue had already been solved, which is good, find a solution that works for you etc. However, my two cents: If you ever feel bad about ANYTHING, talk to her about it. Seems to me like you feel better after sharing your concerns with someone and if she truly loves you she will empathize with you and help you through your depression, no matter what it is that's bringing you down.

Edit: Also, don't feel bad or 'like a jackass' for thinking abou stuff like this. It's perfectly natural and if your girlfriend can't understand that (gets angry etc.) IMO she is the one in the wrong. She should help you through stuff like this, not make it worse.