A different kind of relationship thread

[miffy23]

I don't have those phases, never did.
I literally ended up in bed and in a relationship with all of the half dozen or so women in my life in the week I met them.

I never really dated, I just hopped into bed and knew it was something. They mostly lasted 2 years or so roughly.

[Deleted]

Huh interesting question...

I don't think I ever considered my relationship ever went in 'phases'. But then again, I've only ever been in the one relationship, he had a couple before me but that was when he was like 11 and only lasted a couple months each coz they were young obviously, so personally I don't even consider them actual GF's ;D

My relationship was a lot like this; we were friends, I started to like him more as we got to know each other as friends, he asked me out, we went out, things gradually got more serious like talking about the future (your 'phase 2 thing' i guess), and now we are engaged and waiting to get married only when we have a house together.

I never saw it as particular phases, but more like climbing a ladder of how serious we were. We were friends and are best friends still so we just kinda...grew together at the same pace, there was never ever wondering, we both liked each other from the start and that only grew more.

Guess it just depends on the people. Just because you label things as phases doesn't mean you're weird because you identify stages of your relationships as such, and if you dislike one of said phases that's also just how you feel and can't help that. So don't listen to your friends, just make sure you and your partner are happy and make sure to talk about things if you happen to struggle.

[cyndallis]

You have to man up and put yourself out there in your phase 2 - with all the baggage of your past experiences and the knowledge that things could go south, fast... What's not to love?

I would throw in a quip about fortune favouring the brave but you don't seem to be a fan

[miffy23]

You have to man up and put yourself out there in your phase 2 - with all the baggage of your past experiences and the knowledge that things could go south, fast... What's not to love?

I would throw in a quip about fortune favouring the brave but you don't seem to be a fan

That seems to be your thing today. Read it in a fortune cookie at lunch?

[Kalis]

I can see why people think that, but I don't see it that way. Phase 1 isn't necessarily long, but can be a couple weeks. It's kind of where you are getting to know each other before you do that first kiss...or before you start really doing the romantic stuff. Phase 2 is where you are dating and developing feelings and a sense for something more long term. Phase 3 is the established couple phase.

That's how I look at it anyway.

Phase 1 just sounds like chatting someone up, which is part of the dating phase, no?

You can meet someone, and ask them out in two months or two minutes. I see it as all part of the process of seeing if that person is worth moving onto something serious with, or not, which in my case can take me a year to decide.

I honestly can't see any distinction between the first two phases, but it might be that I've misundertood what you mean. Perhaps our definitions of dating are different?

[The Casualty]

My MO was always backwards.

1. Flirt and sleep with the person - no dates necessary.
2. Should it not be a one night stand - continue hanging out and sleeping together, and eventually just start hanging out too.
3. Commitment!

[Tziva]

Lots and lots of people hate the casual dating portion of the process. There's certainly plenty of people that find it the most fun part, too, but my point is that it's fairly polarised. You're not an anomaly by any means.

I hate dating. If I wasn't married, I'd probably just avoid it entirely by not dating rather than fast forwarding to the serious stage.

[Darsithis]

I hate dating. If I wasn't married, I'd probably just avoid it entirely by not dating rather than fast forwarding to the serious stage.

I've always liked dating, myself. I find it exciting...probably the hopeless romantic in me. Sadly that kind of phase never lasts long.

[miffy23]

"Romantic" to me always meant seducing a woman as rapidly as I could. Only I didn't say my part and leave the next morning, I always meant it.

[cyndallis]

That seems to be your thing today. Read it in a fortune cookie at lunch?

I thought we went way back miffy23, why you gotta hate? It was the second time I used it and it was in reference to the OP's earlier comments tonight :/ Would it have been better if I went with "Nothing ventured, nothing gained"?

PS: Fortune cookies are pretty much deep fried sugar, you should avoid them and the advice of strangers on the internet about fortune cookies.

[Deleted]

I'm starting to think I might be a little...odd...when it comes to relationships. In my perception there are three phases -- that initial flirty "hey I like you" sort of phase. Doesn't usually last very long, but it's where you go from meeting to deciding to date. Then there is phase 2 -- the "Let's go on dates and figure out what this is" phase.

I view these phases (1, 2) as one transition from nothing to either relationship or again nothing (I wouldn't befriend sexual interest). Therefore I can't answer your question well, OP.

But I actually enjoy the rush of emotions, when your heart skips a beat. I'd say these are magical moments, moments that make you feel alive. You won't feel the rush when you start to piss to your pants and forget where are your glasses (protip: head). So you better hold fast lad.